在商业江湖中，顶尖企业如同武林高手，沟通之道便是他们的独门秘籍。如何有效沟通，避免无谓的争论，成为他们制胜的关键。本文将揭开这层神秘的面纱，探讨如何构建和谐的沟通桥梁。

In the commercial江湖, top-tier companies are like martial arts masters, and the art of communication is their unique secret technique. How to communicate effectively and avoid unnecessary disputes has become the key to their success. This article will unveil this mysterious veil and explore how to build a harmonious communication bridge.

1. 在一期《脱口秀大会》的节目中，于谦讲述了自己遇上杠精的事儿。

1. In an episode of the first season of "The脱口秀大会", Yu Qian told about his encounter with a "gangren" (a term for someone who is overly argumentative and difficult to please).

2. 他说：“立身以不妄言为本。”懂得节制言辞，是一种修养。

2. He said, "To establish oneself, one must take truthful speech as the foundation." Understanding the art of moderation in speech is a form of cultivation.

3. 别人谈到兴头上，葛优会微笑颔首，眼里流露出欣赏。

3. When others are excited, Ge You would smile and nod, with appreciation shining in his eyes.

4. 梁启超评价曾国藩：古往今来不易二睹之大人物也。

4. Liang Qichao's evaluation of Zeng Guofan: A great figure who is not easily encountered in ancient and modern times.

5. 曾国藩年轻时喜欢争辩，非要千方百计把对方说服不可。做京官时，他和好友郑小珊有过一次激烈的争论，彼此抬杠，互不相让。

5. Zeng Guofan was fond of arguing in his youth, determined to persuade the other party by all means. When he served as a Beijing official, he had a fierce debate with his good friend Zheng Xiaoshan, where they both argued back and forth, unwilling to yield to each other.

6. 巩固并扩展朋友圈，在彼此舒适的氛围中得到更多人的认可，这才是高情商。

6. To consolidate and expand your social circle, to gain recognition from more people in a comfortable atmosphere, this is what high emotional intelligence is all about.

7. 沉默的莫言笔耕不辍，著作等身。

7. Mo Yan, the silent writer, continues to toil away at his pen, and his works pile up to his own height.

8. 葛优作为蜚声全国的著名演员，他见过的大场面和人生阅历自然不少。

8. As a famous actor who is well-known across the country, Ge You has naturally encountered many grand scenes and accumulated a wealth of life experiences.

9. 老子说：大音希声，大辩若讷。

9. Laozi says: The great sound has no sound, the great eloquence seems slow.

10. 哈佛大学的一项研究甚至把人际关系的作用提升至85%，可见其在人生中的重要性。

10. A study by Harvard University even elevates the role of interpersonal relationships to 85%, illustrating its importance in life.

11. 言多必失，就给了别人跟你抬杠的机会。无言，自然无杠；无杠，自然无从抬杠。

11. Words are bound to lead to mistakes, which gives others the chance to argue with you. Without words, there is naturally no argument; without argument, there is naturally no opportunity to argue.

12. 后来，曾国藩谦虚待人，从不与人抬杠。在领导湘军和太平天国作战时，左宗棠时不时对曾国藩的战略评头论足，甚至轻蔑贬斥，但他从不回应，也不计较，只是踏踏实实尽自己的本分。

12. Later, Zeng Guofan treated others with modesty and never argued with anyone. While leading the Xiang Army and fighting against the Taiping Rebellion, Zuo Zongtang frequently commented on Zeng Guofan's strategies, even sneering and belittling him, but Zeng Guofan never responded or held a grudge; he simply diligently fulfilled his duties.

13. 曾国藩被说到痛处，大发脾气，对郑小珊破口大骂，使得两人友谊的小船差点没有翻倒。

13. Zeng Guofan was struck at a sensitive spot and flew into a rage, cursing Zheng Xiaoshan profusely, which nearly capsized the small boat of their friendship.

14. 真智慧，不是用语言装点的，而是要用心灵去感悟，用精神去感应，用生命去感发。

14. True wisdom is not adorned with words, but it should be感悟ed with the heart, sensed with the spirit, and inspired with life.

15. 聊天时必逞口舌之利，侃侃而谈，滔滔雄辩，一定要证明自己掌握了真理，而把别人归为荒谬。

15. When chatting, one must be fluent and eloquent, full of persuasive arguments, always striving to prove that they have grasped the truth and classify others as absurd.

16. 抬杠，本质上是因为格局太小，修为太低。要扩大格局，不去在乎言辞上的成败得失，不与认知能力差的人一般见识，不因一言不合耿耿于怀。

16. Arguing is essentially due to a small mindset and low cultivation. To expand one's mindset, one should not be concerned with the success or failure of words, not compare oneself with people of low cognitive ability, and not bear a grudge over a single disagreement.

17. 处理人际关系属于情商的范畴。如果说智商决定人的下限，那情商则决定人的上限，而最顶级的情商，就是只抬人，不抬杠。

17. Dealing with interpersonal relationships falls under the category of emotional intelligence. If IQ determines a person's lower limit, then emotional intelligence determines a person's upper limit, and the highest level of emotional intelligence is to only uplift others, not to argue with them.

18. 赢得了道理，伤害了感情，何况杠精未必真有道理。

18. You've won the argument but hurt the feelings; what more, a quarrelsome person may not even be right.

19. 他请一位好友在自己马场的餐厅吃饭，好友拍了视频发到网上，其中就有于谦抽烟的镜头。

19. He invited a good friend to dine at his stable's restaurant, and the friend took a video and posted it online, which included a scene of Yu Qian smoking.

20. 富兰克林说：争辩和反驳或许会带来暂时的胜利，但你永远无法通过这表面上的胜利赢得对方的尊敬。

20. Franklin said: Arguing and refuting may bring temporary victories, but you can never win the respect of others through such superficial victories.

21. 【2】抬人不抬杠

21. 【2】Don't argue while lifting people.

22. 网友见状，出言抨击他在公共场所抽烟不讲公德。

22. Seeing the situation, netizens criticized him for smoking in public places without consideration for public morals.

23. 他们为了反驳而反驳，犀利的语言向锥子，非得叫人唾弃才罢休。最是杠精惹人厌，远离杠精，更不能让自己成为杠精。和人聊天，多倾听，不抬杠。

23. They argue just to argue, using sharp words like needles, and they won't stop until they make others despise them. The most annoying thing is the people who like to pick fights; it's better to keep away from them, and definitely not let yourself become one. When conversing with others, listen more and don't argue.

24. 孔子说，多听多看，有不同意见保留下来，不去说，不妄动。这样的话，言行都不会有什么差错，则“禄在其中矣”。这才是高水平的处世方式。

24. Confucius said, "Listen more and observe more, keep different opinions to yourself, do not speak rashly, and do not act impulsively." In this way, neither words nor actions will be erroneous, and "prosperity will be within you." This is the way of dealing with the world at a high level.

25. 卡耐基说，一个人的成功，20%靠专业能力，80%靠人际关系。

25. Carnegie said that one's success depends on 20% professional ability and 80% on interpersonal relationships.

26. 网友@Tina心理1这样形容杠精：“杠精的内心通常很强大，智商情商双欠费而不自知；他们喜欢居高临下，指点江山；鄙视任何人和事，天下皆昏庸，唯有他独醒。”

26. Netizen @TinaPsychology1 described the "gangjings" (people who always pick quarrels) in this way: "The hearts of gangjings are usually very strong, but they are unaware that both their IQ and EQ are lacking; they like to look down on others, giving orders; they look down on anyone and anything, thinking that the world is full of fools, and only they are awake."

27. 高情商的人，懂得赢得人心才是关键。

27. High EQ individuals understand that winning the hearts of others is the key.

28. 于谦在节目中调侃道：你说这些人，他在骂不上你的时候，就改为关心你，你看他多欠打。

28. Yu Qian jokes in the program: "You see, these people, when they can't scold you, they start to care about you. Look how much they need a good beating."

29. 抬举他人，必将获得别人的回敬；抬杠他人，则会造成感情疏隔，关系难以持久。

29. If you flatter others, you will surely receive their respect in return; but if you quarrel with others, it will cause a rift in feelings, making it hard for the relationship to last.

30. 倘能如此，则朋友会越来越多，敌人会越来越少，人生的路也就走宽了。

30. If so, there will be more and more friends, fewer and fewer enemies, and the path of life will also become broader.

31. 别人说得好，就给予欣赏；说不好，也包容他。观点和你不一样，也不必争个高低胜败，保留自己的意见，也允许别人的不同意见存在。

31. As others say, appreciate when they speak well, and tolerate them when they do not. If their views differ from yours, there is no need to argue over who is right or wrong. Keep your own opinions, and also allow others to hold different opinions.

32. 山东有个叫管谟业的作家，年轻时喜欢和别人抬杠，随便乱说话，得罪很多人，还给父母亲带来很多麻烦。经过反思，他给自己取了一个叫“莫言”的笔名，告诫自己少说话。

32. There is a writer named Guan Moye in Shandong. When he was young, he liked to argue with others and talk carelessly, offending many people and bringing a lot of trouble to his parents. After reflection, he took the pen name "Mo Yan" for himself, warning himself to speak less.

33. 左宗棠遇到困难，他不落井下石，还倾力援助。最终得到左宗棠和众人的感佩和尊敬。

33. Zuo Zongtang encountered difficulties, and instead of taking advantage of his misfortune, he exerted his efforts to assist. In the end, he gained the admiration and respect of Zuo Zongtang and everyone else.

34. 俗话说，是非只为多开口，烦恼皆因强出头。

34. As the saying goes, "Gossip is the cause of much trouble, and烦恼 come from pushing oneself forward too much."

35. 抬人不抬杠，既成全了别人，有成全了自己。你敬人一寸，人敬你一尺。

35. It's not about arguing when helping others; by doing so, you not only help others but also help yourself. Show respect to others by an inch, and they will show you respect by a foot.

36. 犀利的言辞往往体现不出智慧，杠来杠去也杠不出真理。

36. Sharp words often do not reflect wisdom, and endless bickering never leads to the truth.

37. 反之，要多抬人，常捧场，给人以舒适感，为自己赢得更多的朋友。

37. On the contrary, one should praise others frequently, give them a lot of encouragement, make them feel comfortable, and win more friends for oneself.

38. 管住自己的嘴巴，就少了很多烦恼。真正能够证明自己的，绝不是滔滔不绝的高谈阔论，而是实实在在的成绩。

38. Keep your mouth shut, and you'll have fewer troubles. What truly proves oneself is not endless chatter and grandiloquent talk, but real, tangible achievements.

39. 因为不再和别人抬杠，人际关系大为好转，结交了很多高质量朋友。

39. Because there are no more arguments with others, interpersonal relationships have greatly improved, and many high-quality friends have been made.

40. 我同意他的观点，并解释中医理论源于易经是从电视上听中医名家曲黎敏教授讲的。谁想他根本无视我的纠正，凭空指责我看不起中医。

40. I agree with his viewpoint and explained that the theory of traditional Chinese medicine originates from the I Ching, which I learned from Professor Qu Limin, a renowned traditional Chinese medicine expert on TV. Who would have thought that he completely ignored my correction and arbitrarily accused me of looking down upon traditional Chinese medicine.

41. 不要用言论逞能，行动才有最有力量的宣言。

41. Do not炫耀言辞， action is the most powerful declaration.

42. 可是，在聚会上，他从来不主导话题，也不抢着发表意见，只是很专注地听别人讲话。

42. However, at parties, he never took the lead in the conversation or eagerly voiced his opinions; he merely listened intently to others.

43. 他说，一个作家如果老说话，老是和别人抬杠，就没有精力写好小说，作家应该用笔来说出自己想说的话。

43. He said that if a writer keeps talking and arguing with others all the time, they won't have the energy to write a good novel. Writers should use their pens to express what they want to say.

44. 《论语》里有这么一段对话：孔子说，我不喜欢讲话。子贡就说，您不讲话，我们学什么呀！孔子感叹道，天说什么话了吗？四季照常运行，万物依旧生长，天说话了吗！

44. There is a dialogue in the "Analects" where Confucius says, "I don't like to talk." Zi Gong then responds, "If you don't talk, what are we supposed to learn!" Confucius sighed, "Has heaven spoken any words? The four seasons continue to change as usual, and all things still grow. Has heaven spoken?"

45. 生活中有这样一种人，总是喜欢和别人抬杠。

45. There are such people in life who always like to argue with others.

46. 事后，曾国藩认真反省自己，认识到要对别人给予抬举和尊重，而不是抬杠贬损。

46. Subsequently, Zeng Guofan seriously reflected on himself, realizing that he should show respect and admiration to others rather than engage in argumentative criticism.

47. 话太多，难免会有人不爱听的话。有意无意间，就会得罪一些人，给自己的人生带来不必要的阻力。

47. Saying too much inevitably leads to someone not liking what you have to say. Whether intentional or not, it may offend some people, bringing unnecessary resistance to one's own life.

48. 谁想一名昵称“中医行者”的人，立马就各种怼我。他说有很多的中医生不懂易经，但治好了各种疑难杂症。

48. Who wants a person with the nickname "Chinese Medicine行者" to instantly start arguing with me. He says that many practitioners of traditional Chinese medicine do not understand the I Ching, but they have cured all sorts of difficult and miscellaneous diseases.

49. 真正有境界的人，会对别人给予充分的尊重，更愿意倾听别人，理解别人，而不是随意阻止和反驳。

49. A truly enlightened person will show full respect to others, be more willing to listen to and understand others, rather than arbitrarily blocking and refuting.

50. 梁宏达在节目中讲到了葛优：与葛优在一起，总能让你感到一种满满的舒适感。

50. Liang Hongda mentioned Ge You in the program: Being with Ge You always gives you a sense of full comfort.

51. 与其抬杠失去人心，不如抬人赢得人心。

51. It's better to elevate others to win their hearts than to argue and lose their favor.

52. 【3】少言，是大智慧

52. 【3】 Speaking little is a sign of great wisdom.

53. 处理人际关系，应该像毛主席说的，把朋友搞得多多的，把敌人搞得少少的。

53. In dealing with interpersonal relationships, as Comrade Mao Zedong said, we should have as many friends as possible and as few enemies as possible.

54. 如果别人说的是低素质的恶言恶语，就走开，大可不必计较纠结。

54. If someone is speaking with low-quality vituperation, just walk away; there's no need to be concerned or entangled in it.

55. 【4】结语

55. Conclusion

56. 若与杠精争个短长，除了让自己气堵心塞，不会有别的收获。在杠精那里，他们总是对的，对方总是错的。压到别人显示自己的优越，狠刷存在感。

56. If you argue with a contrarian, all you'll gain is frustration and a blocked heart. In the eyes of a contrarian, they are always right and the other person is always wrong. They show off their superiority by putting others down and fiercely emphasizing their presence.

57. 原来我们并不在同一个频道，争论也毫无价值。

57. Turns out we're not on the same wavelength, and the argument is futile.

58. 【1】最是“杠精”惹人厌

58. 【1】Mostly, the "rigid and inflexible" person is the most annoying.

59. 又说：善者不辩，辩者不善。

59. He also said: "The good do not argue; those who argue are not good."

60. 于谦回应：我这是在自己家里抽烟。本想杠精应该无话可说，可他依然嘴硬：在家也不应该抽烟，它有损一个人的形象，还有害身体健康。

60. Yu Qian responded: "This is me smoking at my own home." I thought that a pedant should have nothing to say, but he was still stubborn: Even at home, one shouldn't smoke; it damages a person's image and is harmful to one's health.