揭开神秘面纱：常见的讨价还价类型，你中招了吗？

Unveiling the Mysteries: Common Bargaining Types, Have You Been Caught?

1. 看到一个很心酸的新闻，一个身患绝症的单亲妈妈，在生命的尾声找来了孩子的叔伯姨舅，希望有人领养她留下的两个不满十岁的儿子。可不管妈妈怎么哀求，始终没人站出来接受孩子。

1. Saw a heart-wrenching news report: a single mother suffering from a terminal illness, at the end of her life, sought out her children's uncles and aunts to see if anyone would adopt her two sons who were under ten years old. But no matter how much the mother pleaded, no one stepped forward to take the children.

2. 规矩是亲情的保鲜剂，尊重亲戚交往的规矩，就是珍惜亲情。

2. Rules are the preservative of family affection. Respecting the rules of relatives' interactions is to cherish family ties.

3. 亲戚间的规矩和礼仪，是前辈们为了保证亲情的稳定和可持续，约定而成的。如果子孙们任意颠覆，就会破坏亲情，淡化关系。

3. The rules and etiquette among relatives are conventions set by our ancestors to ensure the stability and sustainability of family ties. If descendants arbitrarily颠覆 them, it would damage the family ties and weaken the relationships.

4. 有些人觉得大家既然是亲戚，血浓于水，打断骨头连着筋，怎么着都无所谓。言谈举止不过脑，接人待物不上心，不会察言观色，有意无意让亲戚难堪，甚至揭伤疤，贪便宜，最后让亲戚愠怒，和自己离心离德。

4. Some people think that since everyone is related, blood is thicker than water, and the bones are connected by tendons, it doesn't matter what happens. They do not think before they speak or act, they are not careful in their interactions, they are not good at reading others' expressions, and either intentionally or unintentionally make their relatives feel embarrassed, even expose old wounds, seek personal gain, and ultimately anger their relatives and alienate themselves from them.

5. 《增广贤文》说：“久住令人嫌，频来亲也疏。”在别人家住得久了，就会遭人嫌弃。亲戚间的交往太过频繁，感情就会疏远。

5. The "Enlarged Collection of Virtuous Sayings" states: "Living long in someone's house makes people dislike you, and frequent visits make relatives distant." Staying in someone else's home for a long time will make people dislike you. Too frequent interactions with relatives will lead to the estrangement of feelings.

6. 成功的人不比别人高一截，不成功的人也不比别人矮半分。尤其是亲戚之间，永远要以平等的地位相处，不能嫌贫爱富，做了富亲戚的狗，寒了穷亲戚的心。

6. Successful people are not taller than others, and unsuccessful people are not shorter by half a head. Especially among relatives, one should always maintain an equal status, never show favoritism between the rich and the poor, become a dog to the rich relatives, and chill the hearts of the poor relatives.

7. 亲戚，是我们天然就能拥有的人脉和圈子，要懂得珍惜。然而，人有五指，长短不同。对于那些漠视亲情，损耗自己的人，我们要能慧眼识“奸”，及时止损。

7. Relatives are the natural network and circle we can possess, and we should know how to cherish them. However, people have five fingers, and they are not all the same length. For those who ignore family ties and exhaust themselves, we should be able to discern "traitors" with wisdom and stop the loss in time.

8. 郭德纲说：穷人在街头耍十把钢钩，钩不着亲人的骨肉；富人在深山老林舞刀枪棍棒，打不散无义的宾朋。

8. Guo Degang said: The poor display ten steel hooks on the street, but cannot catch the flesh and blood of their relatives; the rich swing swords, spears, and sticks in the deep mountains and old forests, but cannot scatter the unworthy guests and friends.

9. 再次，情商欠费，不识眉眼高低。

9. Again, lacking emotional intelligence, not recognizing the nuances of one's expression.

10. 亲戚存在的最大意义，就是互相取暖，互相帮助，手挽手迎战生活的风风雨雨，肩并肩走出人生的低谷泥淖。

10. The greatest significance of relatives is to warm each other up, help each other, hold hands to face the storms and trials of life, and shoulder to shoulder walk out of the mire of life's low points.

11. 人生最难的事，是开口求人。而有些事，有些坎，如果没有别人的援手，就过不去，孤掌难鸣，回天无力。

11. The hardest thing in life is to ask for help. And there are some things, some difficulties, that cannot be overcome without the assistance of others. A single hand is hard to clap, and it is impossible to turn back the heavens with no power.

12. 我的一位初中同学，自己家和姑妈家住得很近，两家人非常热络，亲如一家人。同学父亲不理家事，游手好闲，姑妈姑爹就过来帮他们家干农活，还给同学兄弟俩交学费。

12. One of my junior high school classmates lives very close to her aunt's house. The two families are very close and treat each other like a single family. The father of the classmate ignores household affairs and is a lazybones, so the aunt and uncle come over to help them with farm work and also pay for the tuition fees for the classmate's two brothers.

13. 后来，同学的哥哥在外做工程挣了不少钱，要回老家盖房子。因为原来的房子占地太狭窄，需要扩建。屋后的那块地就是姑妈家的自耕地，可姑妈一家无论怎么说也不愿意出让。

13. Later, my classmate's brother made a lot of money from a construction project outside, and he wanted to return to his hometown to build a house. Since the original house was too narrow, it needed to be expanded. The piece of land at the back was the uncle's family's own cultivated land, but no matter how they tried, the uncle's family was unwilling to part with it.

14. 有些亲戚，原本关系很好，可有一天，一家生活好过了，另一家还是老样子，关系就会变得微妙起来。

14. Some relatives, who used to have a good relationship, may find their bond becoming delicate one day when one family improves their living conditions while the other remains the same.

15. 以下这几种亲戚，要么敬而远之，要么果断“断舍离”，不要让他们拉低自己的幸福指数。

15. Regarding the following types of relatives, either keep them at a distance with respect or decisively "cut off and discard them," don't let them drag down your happiness index.

16. 首先，走动太频繁，打扰了亲戚的正常生活。

16. Firstly, moving around too frequently has disturbed the normal lives of the relatives.

17. 自私冷漠的亲戚，早断早好，不要也罢。

17. Selfish and indifferent relatives, it's better to sever the ties early on; there's no need to keep them around.

18. 我们家乡从老祖宗那里传下一个规矩，就是在晚辈结婚后的第一年，亲戚们轮流着把新人接到自己家吃饭、认亲，并给红包和糕点祝贺。可一位表弟对这些传统礼仪非常抵触，婚后一个亲戚家都不去，直接带着媳妇到外省打工去了。以致多年后，一些亲戚都不知道他媳妇长什么样子。

18. Our hometown has a custom passed down from our ancestors that in the first year after a younger generation gets married, relatives take turns inviting the newlyweds to their homes for dinner, get to know each other, and offer red envelopes and pastries to celebrate. However, one of my cousins is strongly opposed to these traditional rituals. After getting married, he didn't visit a single relative's home and instead went to work in another province with his wife. As a result, years later, some relatives don't even know what his wife looks like.

19. 同家族的堂兄已在省城安家，年底带着一家人回老家探亲。见面打招呼的时候，他让自己的女婿喊我“大叔”。我见他女婿明显比我年长，就制止他说喊我名字就可以了。可堂兄坚持说，回到家里，就得按家里的规矩说话，不能乱了辈分。

19. My cousin from the same family has settled in the provincial capital and returned to his hometown with his family at the end of the year to visit relatives. When we greeted each other, he asked his son-in-law to call me "Uncle." I noticed that his son-in-law was clearly older than me, so I stopped him and said it was okay to just call me by my name. However, my cousin insisted that once back home, one must follow the family's rules and speak accordingly, without disrupting the age hierarchy.

20. 《红楼梦》里的贾家，鲜花着锦，烈火烹油，富贵到了极点。互相联络的亲戚也都是一些大家族，大官僚，可贾家败落之后，原来那些权贵亲戚树倒猢狲散，只有曾经被贾家帮助过的、八竿子打不着的穷亲戚刘姥姥尽力去营救贾家的后人。

20. The Jia family in "Dream of the Red Chamber" lived a life of splendor, adorned with flowers and cooked with oil in fierce flames, reaching the pinnacle of wealth and honor. The relatives with whom they were in contact were all members of great clans and high-ranking officials. However, after the decline of the Jia family, the once-powerful and influential relatives scattered like monkeys when their tree fell. Only the destitute relative, Lao Lao, who had been helped by the Jia family and was far removed from them, made every effort to save the descendants of the Jia family.

21. 一个走投无路的人，本想着把亲戚当作最后救命的那根稻草，可当你发现，你期待的那根稻草不会朝你伸过来，是多么绝望！

21. A person at the end of their rope, who had thought to use their relatives as the last straw for salvation, only to find that the very reed they were expecting to reach out to them will not extend itself, is truly desperate!

22. 亲戚相处的本质就是社交，需要通晓人情世故，张弛有度，心怀善意与尊重，才能让自己和这个圈子和谐起来。

22. The essence of getting along with relatives is social interaction, which requires an understanding of human nature and social etiquette, maintaining a balance between firmness and flexibility, and holding a heart full of kindness and respect, in order to achieve harmony within this circle.

23. 亲戚之间，在称呼、交往、长幼尊卑上都有一套不成文的规矩，如果有人不守规矩，没大没小，悖逆礼节，妨碍亲戚间的正常交往，一定会让人反感。

23. Among relatives, there is an unwritten set of rules in terms of addressing each other, interacting, and respecting seniority and age. If someone fails to follow these rules, showing no respect for elders or juniors, and goes against etiquette, it will undoubtedly cause resentment and hinder the normal interaction among relatives.

24. 人与人之间，如果长时间不联络，不走动，就会疏远。亲戚之间更是如此。保持适当的走动，礼尚往来，交往有度，才能把亲情维持和发展下去。

24. Among people, if they do not communicate or visit each other for a long time, they will become distant. This is especially true among relatives. Only by maintaining appropriate visits, reciprocating with etiquette, and keeping the interactions moderate, can the family ties be sustained and developed.

25. 要给对方面子。这一条是在很多场合都是适用的。给对方面子，不要让对方在人多的场合下不来台。因为我们既然是亲戚朋友的话，都是有很深厚的缘分的，既然是有缘分，我们就要惜缘。最典型的做法是，在外人面前，要给自己家人面子，抬高自己家的人，这样做就会使一家人团结的更紧密。

25. We need to give face to the other party. This principle is applicable in many situations. We should not make the other person feel embarrassed in front of a crowd. Since we are relatives and friends, we all have profound connections. As we have these connections, we should cherish them. The most typical approach is to give face to our family members in front of others, to boost their status. This will make the whole family more united.

26. 一个人如果长时间不和亲戚们联系，也不主动去来往，往往让人觉得寡情，或者是对亲戚们的不屑，会造成彼此的隔阂。

26. If a person does not keep in touch with their relatives for a long time and does not actively reach out to them, it often gives the impression of being indifferent or showing a lack of respect for the relatives, which can lead to a rift between them.

27. 每个人都渴望温暖，害怕冷漠。可当你的温暖遭遇了别人的冷漠，你原有的温度将被驱散殆尽，剩下一副冷漠的铠甲面对他人。

27. Everyone yearns for warmth and fears coldness. But when your warmth encounters others' coldness, the original warmth in you will be dissipated almost completely, leaving only a cold armor to face others.

28. 亲戚是由血缘或婚姻连结的人际圈子，是离我们最近的人。亲戚之间，本来应该互相关心、照顾和帮扶，然而，现实中，一些亲戚十分讨嫌，是我们生活的负能量，损耗着我们原有的幸福感。

28. Relatives are the circle of people connected by blood or marriage, those who are closest to us. In theory, relatives should care for, support, and help each other. However, in reality, some relatives are quite annoying, adding negative energy to our lives and diminishing the happiness we originally had.

29. 生活中，远离讨嫌的亲戚。同时反思和改进自己，做一个善待亲人、不讨嫌的人。

29. In life, keep away from讨厌的 relatives. At the same time, reflect and improve yourself to become a person who treats relatives kindly and is not讨厌.

30. 人海茫茫，彼此能成为亲戚，是一种缘分。对于自己的亲戚，尤其是生活在低谷的那些人，要多一些善意，多一些谦和，多一些尊敬。

30. In the vast sea of people, it is a kind of destiny for two to become relatives. For one's own relatives, especially those who are living in difficult times, there should be more kindness, more modesty, and more respect.

31. 害怕贫穷，追求富贵，是人的本能。尊重穷人，不去谄媚富人，是人的修养。一个人能成功，是很多因素综合的结果，或者原生家庭的支持有力，或者自己的聪明才智过人，或者踩了狗屎运。同理，一个人不成功，未必就是自己不够努力，很可能是条件匮乏，时运不济。

31. The fear of poverty and the pursuit of wealth and status are innate human instincts. Respecting the poor and not flattering the rich is a sign of a person's cultivation. A person's success is the result of many factors combined, whether it's due to strong support from their original family, exceptional intelligence and wisdom, or simply being in the right place at the right time. Similarly, if a person fails, it may not necessarily be because they are not hardworking enough; it's quite possible that they lack the necessary conditions or are not blessed with good fortune.

32. 亲戚朋友之间要保持适当的距离。保持距离亦是对人的一种尊重，试想一下，就算是生活在一起的一家人，也要适当的保持一定的距离，最常见的表现就是，周末家人都在家的时候，有的在书房，有的呆在自己的屋里，各自过各自的生活，所以每个人都是有自己自由的生活的空间，大方面上，我们又有共同的交集。所以说亲戚朋友之间要保持适当的距离，这样你们的关系才能长久。

32. Maintain an appropriate distance between relatives and friends. Keeping a distance is also a form of respect for others. Just imagine, even for a family living together, it is necessary to maintain a certain distance. The most common manifestation is that when the whole family is at home on weekends, some may be in the study room, while others stay in their own rooms, living their own lives. Therefore, everyone has their own space for a free life. In a broader sense, we still have common intersections. Therefore, it is necessary to maintain an appropriate distance between relatives and friends, so that your relationship can last.

33. 别人求我三冬暖，我求他人六月霜。

33. Others ask me for warmth in winter, but I seek from others frost in June.

34. 每个人都要做自己的事情，也需要拥有独立的空间。动不动就串亲访友，他们要停下自己的工作陪你，还要花时间、精力甚至金钱照顾你。次数多了，时间长了，难免不堪其累，疲于应付。

34. Everyone needs to focus on their own tasks and also requires their own independent space. They cannot constantly visit relatives and friends, as they have to stop their work to accompany you, and also spend time, energy, and even money taking care of you. After doing this too often and for too long, it is inevitable to feel exhausted and overwhelmed.

35. 攀比是心灵的毒瘤。一旦人的攀比心太重，见不得亲戚过得比自己好，亲情终将走向虚伪和崩溃。

35. Envy is a cancer in the soul. Once a person's envy becomes too strong, unable to bear seeing relatives living better than themselves, family ties will eventually turn into hypocrisy and collapse.

36. 古人云：无规矩，不成方圆。

36. The ancients said: Without rules, there can be no square or circle.

37. 亲戚圈子就是一个小型的社会，人情世故是必须要了解的社交逻辑。如果一个人不懂人情世故，掌握不好交往的“度”，就会很讨嫌，甚至破坏亲戚关系。

37. The circle of relatives is a small society, and understanding the social logic of human relationships is a must. If a person does not understand human relationships and cannot control the "degree" of social interaction, they will be very disliked, and even may damage the relationship between relatives.

38. 即使是亲戚朋友的关系，也不要过分的去过问别人家里的隐私的事情。每一家人都有自己的私事，这些事有的是不可以让人知道的，因为有涉及到家里人的尊严的问题的。所以即使是跟你关系很好的亲人，也不要去过问人家的私事，有些人说自己是出于热心好心才去管别人家里的闲事的，其实不知道，在这么做的同时，你已经对人家产生了冒犯。

38. Even in the relationship with relatives and friends, one should not overly interfere in others' private matters at home. Every family has its own private affairs, some of which are not meant to be known as they involve the dignity of family members. Therefore, even with those who are very close to you, do not pry into their private matters. Some people say they are motivated by kindness and concern when they meddle in others' family affairs, but they are actually unaware that in doing so, they have already offended others.

39. 日久天长的话，如果一直是这样的情形，别人家就会对你的言行产生排斥，到时候势必影响你们的关系。所以说，即使是亲戚朋友的关系，也不要过分的去过问别人家里的隐私的事情。

39. If it goes on for a long time like this, others might start to reject your words and actions. By then, it is bound to affect your relationship with them. Therefore, even in the case of relations with relatives and friends, you should not overly pry into other people's privacy matters at home.

40. 其次，距离感太强，长时间不走动。

40. Secondly, there is too much distance, and people do not move around for long periods of time.

41. 那块地本身就不开阔，四面都是新建的高墙，对姑妈家来说没有什么价值。同学家提出用超出市场价的价格购买，或者三倍面积的水田交换，都被拒绝。最后，同学家建好的房子连院子都没有。

41. The land itself was not spacious, surrounded by newly constructed high walls on all sides, which held no value for Auntie's family. The classmates proposed to buy it at a price higher than the market value, or exchange it for three times the area of paddy fields, but both offers were rejected. In the end, the classmates' newly built house didn't even have a courtyard.