揭开顶级养育秘密：如何以包容心态应对生活挑战

Unveiling the Secrets of Top-notch Parenting: How to Tackle Life's Challenges with an Inclusive Attitude

1. 在电视剧《亮剑》中，李云龙活得非常洒脱，霸气，不爽就骂，不服就怼，做事风风火火，就没有什么精神内耗。

1. In the TV series "Bright Sword," Li Yuncheng lives a very carefree and domineering life. When he's not satisfied, he curses; when he's不服, he confronts. He does things with a whirlwind of enthusiasm, and there's no spiritual drain at all.

2. 他平时有一个习惯：骂骂咧咧。心里憋着气，就找茬骂人，必须要把气撒出去，否则绝不罢休。与朋友打交道，也是骂来骂去，好像不骂对方就是见外了。

2. He has a habit in his daily life: he swears a lot. When he is upset, he finds any excuse to swear at others, and he must vent his anger. Otherwise, he will not give up. When dealing with friends, he also swears at them, as if not cursing the other person would be a sign of being unfriendly.

3. 政委赵刚批评他，让他注意说话方式，李云龙就教育赵刚：

3. Political commissar Zhao Gang criticized him, asking him to pay attention to his way of speaking, whereupon Li Yunlong educated Zhao Gang:

4. “用你们文人酸溜溜的话能指挥部队吗？你命令一营把山头拿下来，说：‘一营长，请你组织部队进攻那个山头，攻不下来我要处分你的。’这种软绵绵的话会影响部队战斗力的。你要这么说：‘一营，把那个山头给老子拿下来，奶奶的，拿不下来我剁了你狗日的。’听听，这多提气。部队一听这话，马上嗷嗷叫。老弟，我吃的咸盐比你多两年，听我的没错，干事情就得骂。”

4. "Can you command the troops with your literary, snobbish words? You order the first battalion to take the hill by saying, 'Commander of the first battalion, please organize the troops to attack that hill, or I'll punish you if you can't take it down.' Such soft words will affect the combat effectiveness of the troops. You should say, 'First battalion, take that hill down for me, dammit, if you can't, I'll chop off your dog's head.' Listen, that's much more inspiring. As soon as the troops hear this, they will roar immediately. Young man, I've eaten salt for two years more than you, so listen to me, you won't go wrong. When dealing with things, you need to scold."

5. 这里讲的骂人，不是低素质的侮辱别人，不是得寸进尺的欺负别人，而是给自己一种松弛感。找到一个情绪的释放点，找到一个气场的支撑点。有什么不爽快的情绪就表达出来，有什么意见就释放出来，也就是说，有话就说，有屁就放，有气就发，就怨就报，不要憋来憋去，把自己憋成内伤。

5. What is being discussed here is not the vulgar侮辱 of others with low素质, nor is it the relentless欺负 of others, but rather a way to provide oneself with a sense of relaxation. Find a point of emotional release, find a support point for your aura. Express any unpleasant emotions that you have, let out any opinions you hold. In other words, speak out when you have something to say, let out any gas you need to, vent any anger you feel, and voice any grievances. Do not suppress them and end up harming yourself internally.

6. 性格内向的人，都不擅长表达自己的诉求，更不会向外排解情绪，总是在自己的小世界里瞎摸摸转，有时候被别人恶心到了，也是憋着，硬是把自己搞得很痛苦。

6. People with introverted personalities are not good at expressing their demands, let alone venting their emotions outwardly. They always wander aimlessly in their own little world. Sometimes, when they are disgusted by others, they suppress it and endure a great deal of pain.

7. 你看李云龙几乎没有痛苦而言，骂人像泼妇，打仗嗷嗷叫，别人欺负他，就怼。别人伤害他，坚决反击。日本人绑架了他的女人，他就把对方杀得尸横遍野。土匪杀了他的警卫，他就用鬼头刀把土匪头子的人头给剁了。

打 7. You see, Li Yunlong rarely shows pain, cursing like a shrew, barking like a dog in battle, and confronting others when they欺负 him. When others hurt him, he responds with a resolute counterattack. When the Japanese abducted his woman, he killed the enemy until bodies were strewn everywhere. When bandits killed his guards, he used a ghost head knife to chop off the head of the bandit leader.

8. 后果嘛，该咋地就咋地。只要自己理直气壮，问心无愧，还害怕什么呢？

8. As for the consequences, whatever will be, will be. As long as you are justified and have no regrets, what are you afraid of?

9. 人生就是这样，说正确的话，做正确的事，如果有人欺负你，伤害你，恶心你，算计你，就不要让他好受。在平时的生活中，敢爱敢恨，敢说敢笑，勇敢的面对生命中发生的一切。

9. Life is like this: say the right words, do the right things. If someone bullies you, harms you, disgusts you, or schemes against you, don't let them have it easy. In everyday life, be bold in loving and hating, in speaking and laughing, and courageously face everything that happens in life.

10. 不要主观地评价自己的行为，要用相应的方法来抵抗你的消极态度。当人们生气的时候，他们最有可能是质问自己或周围的人，这个时候要分析事情的本质，而不要针对个人。如果你丢了一个有价值的东西，那么，正确的做法就是不要抱怨自己的粗心，因为这样无济于事，而是采用自我调节的方法来安慰自己。

10. Do not subjectively evaluate your own actions; use appropriate methods to resist your negative attitudes. When people get angry, they are most likely to question themselves or others around them. At this time, analyze the essence of the matter rather than targeting individuals. If you lose something valuable, the right approach is not to complain about your carelessness, as this does not help at all, but to use self-regulation methods to comfort yourself.

11. 你可以用他人的角度给自己写一封信，谈谈你在处理情绪方面做错了什么，并鼓励自己做出改变。其次，你可以找到方法转移你的注意力，思考你可以做些什么来让自己快乐。

11. You can write a letter to yourself from someone else's perspective, discussing what you have done wrong in handling your emotions, and encourage yourself to make changes. Secondly, you can find ways to shift your focus, thinking about what you can do to bring yourself joy.

12. 要专注于现在，尽量不要主观判断发生了什么，以免触发负面的不良情绪，可以想象你的想法，并想象将自己的想法具体化，从而看看是否会偏离现实的轨道。

12. Focus on the present, try not to make subjective judgments about what has happened to avoid triggering negative adverse emotions. You can imagine your thoughts, and imagine materializing your thoughts to see if they deviate from the轨道 of reality.

13. 懂得平衡思维的人，会优先考虑自己的长远目标，做出最有效的决定。如一个人工作很忙，但是领导给了他一个新的任务，他感到很委屈。

13. A person who understands balanced thinking will prioritize their long-term goals and make the most effective decisions. For example, if someone is very busy with work but their leader gives them a new task, they may feel unfairly treated.

14. 此时，他不应表现出不满，而是在与领导层沟通前冷静下来，因为他知道生领导的气只会对他不利。这就是一种平衡思维，当你不能以平衡的方式思考时，想想如果一个朋友处于这种情况下，你会如何说服他。

14. At this moment, he should not show discontent but rather calm down before communicating with the leadership, as he knows that getting angry with the boss will only be disadvantageous to him. This is a form of balanced thinking; when you can't think in a balanced way, think about how you would convince a friend if they were in this situation.

15. 你需要制定一个危机应对计划，其中包括什么导致了你的情绪危机，当你处于情绪危机时你做了什么，你可以做什么来转移你的注意力等等。情绪危机会失控，因为人们很少提前做计划，这意味着他们必须处理过去没有成功过的事情。

15. You need to develop a crisis response plan, including what caused your emotional crisis, what you did when you were in an emotional crisis, what you can do to shift your attention, and so on. Emotional crises can spiral out of control because people rarely plan ahead, which means they have to deal with things they haven't succeeded with in the past.

16. 当人的情绪处于低潮时，对任何事情都提不起兴趣。总是想着那些伤心的事情。所以，要想摆脱这种情绪，首先应该让自己不要总是去想这些问题，转移注意力。有时候，一些事情是人们无法改变的。既然已经成为事实，不要总想着如何再让它变为虚无，尝试着去接受，去面对现实。一个人不可能改变全世界，事物不会因你而改变。我们所能做的，就是适应这个世界。所谓物境天择，适者生存，想让自己开心，首先就要让自己不那么极端，不去钻牛角尖。

16. When a person's emotions are at a low point, they lose interest in everything. They are constantly thinking about sad things. Therefore, to break free from this emotional state, one should first avoid constantly thinking about these issues and shift one's attention. Sometimes, there are things that people cannot change. Since it has already become a fact, do not always think about how to make it disappear; instead, try to accept and face the reality. One cannot change the whole world, and things will not change because of you. What we can do is to adapt to this world. As the saying goes, nature selects the fittest; in order to be happy, one should first avoid being too extreme and not to get stuck in a dead end.

17. 不要总是对现实的生活现状不满，不要总是和别人去攀比。你的生活，应该有你的精彩。有时候，幸福的生活不是用大把的票子堆起来的。

17. Don't always be dissatisfied with the current state of reality, and don't always compare yourself with others. Your life should have its own brilliance. Sometimes, a happy life isn't built with a pile of money.

18. 宽容是一种美德，是对犯错误的人的救赎，也是对自己心灵的升华。不要总是想着对方如何得罪了你，给你造成了多大的伤害或损失。想想对方是不是值得要你去如此发火。他是故意的还是无心的？平日待你如何？给对方一个机会，就是给自己一个机会。对于一些人，原谅，远远要比惩罚来得有效。也许只是一时的失误，也许只是一闪而过的歪念。人总有犯错误的时候，对人不要过于苛刻。

18. Patience is a virtue, a redemption for those who have made mistakes, and also an elevation of one's own soul. Don't always think about how the other person has wronged you or the harm or loss you have suffered. Think about whether the other person is worthy of the anger you are expressing. Was it intentional or unintentional? How have they treated you in everyday life? Giving someone a chance is also giving yourself a chance. For some people, forgiveness is far more effective than punishment. It might just be a momentary mistake or a fleeting mischievous thought. People always make mistakes, so don't be too harsh on others.

19. 不要总是认为江山易改，本性难移。有时候，只要有信心，人是可以改变的。或许是为了友情，或许是为了爱情，又或许是为了亲情。要用发展的眼光看待他人。尤其是对于相爱的人。也许你无法容忍对方的一些毛病，如果你要是爱着对方，就给他机会去改变。但是，严格要求对方的同时，也要严格要求自己，对于自己的一些为对方所不能容忍的毛病，一样要加以改正。永远不要严于待人，宽于待己。这样做会让对方伤心、失望。

19. Don't always think that "the world changes, but character is hard to change." Sometimes, with confidence, people can change. It might be for friendship, for love, or for family ties. Look at others with a perspective of development. Especially for those in love. Perhaps you can't tolerate some of the other person's flaws, but if you truly love them, give them a chance to change. However, while demanding high standards from the other person, you should also demand high standards of yourself. For some of your own flaws that the other person can't tolerate, you should also strive to correct them. Never be strict with others while being lenient with yourself. Doing so will hurt and disappoint the other person.

20. 你现在所受到的痛苦，不是毫无意义的。人一辈子会碰上许许多多的痛苦，这是我们无法避免的。痛苦可以让人颓废，也可以激发人的斗志。痛苦磨练了人的意志，让人们不会轻易的被困难所打倒。

20. The suffering you are experiencing now is not meaningless. People will encounter countless sufferings throughout their lives, which are inevitable. Suffering can make one despair, but it can also ignite one's fighting spirit. Suffering tempers one's willpower, making people less likely to be defeated by difficulties.

21. 追求完美的人生，是每个人的梦想。但是，这种完美真的存在么？我们穷尽一生，只是为了追求那完美的一刻，值得吗？每个人都有缺点，每件事都会有不足。看人看事，先看到其美好的一面，如果你认为这个人值得你去付出，我想你一定可以容忍对方的缺点。不要把目光总盯在丑恶的方面，那样你永远找不到快乐，永远不会有好的心情。

21. Pursuing a perfect life is everyone's dream. However, does such perfection really exist? Do we spend our entire lives just chasing that perfect moment, is it worth it? Everyone has their flaws, and every thing has its shortcomings. When looking at people and things, first see their good side. If you think this person is worth your effort, I believe you can tolerate their flaws. Don't always focus on the ugly aspects; otherwise, you will never find happiness, and you will never have a good mood.

22. 人都是有恶念的，也许只是一瞬间的想法，不必为自己有这种恶念而恐慌。人的思想是复杂的，不是只有善念。有时一些恶念，还可以帮助人发泄心中不满。比如被人欺负，你可以幻想自己把他痛扁一顿等等。这都是可以的，关键是要能控制住自己的恶念，让它不去左右自己的行为。所以恶念不可怕，只要运用得当，反而可以帮人疏解压力。

22. Everyone has evil thoughts, perhaps just a fleeting idea, and there is no need to panic about having such thoughts. Human thoughts are complex, not just good thoughts. Sometimes, some evil thoughts can even help people vent their dissatisfaction. For example, if someone bullies you, you can imagine yourself giving them a good beating, etc. All of this is permissible. The key is to be able to control your evil thoughts and prevent them from influencing your actions. So, evil thoughts are not可怕 (scary), as long as they are used appropriately, they can even help people relieve stress.

23. 有时候对一件事，因时间的改变会有不同，当时对你来说是很痛苦的一件事，过一段时间之后，你也许会有另一番见地。尝试从不同的角度看问题，你也许会发现，痛苦并不像你想象的那样真实。

23. Sometimes, for one thing, its meaning can change with the passage of time. What was a painful event for you at that moment might seem differently after a while. Try to look at the problem from different perspectives, and you may find that the pain is not as real as you imagine.

24. 一个成熟的人，应该勇于对自己做过的事情负责。对于自己做过的事情，不要后悔，因为这是你自己的选择。这样的选择，是被当时的你所认可的，因此，你没有理由去后悔。不要总是想着也许我那样做就不会有这样的后果了。要知道，不要以同一个结果去比较不同的选择，也许另外一个选择导致的结果比现在还糟糕。既然选择了，就不要后悔。只要自己尽力了，其他的一切，就让他自然发展吧。有些事只要自己努力去做了，收获是水到渠成的。不要总是想着自己会得到什么样的结果，用心去欣赏自己努力的过程，那才是你最应该记住的。

24. A mature person should be courageous in taking responsibility for what they have done. Do not regret the things you have done, as they were your own choices. Such choices were recognized by you at that time, so you have no reason to regret. Do not always think about the possibility that if you had done it differently, the consequences would not have been as such. Understand that it is not advisable to compare different choices based on the same outcome, perhaps another choice would have led to even worse consequences. Since you have made the choice, do not regret it. As long as you have done your best, let everything else unfold naturally. Some things, once you put in the effort, the rewards will come naturally. Do not always think about what kind of results you will get, focus on appreciating the process of your efforts, which is what you should remember most.

25. 不要总是幻想这会遇到什么新奇的事情。这不是童话的世界。这个世界是现实的，是残酷的，也是美好的。往往越平凡的事，越能带给人震撼。

25. Don't always daydream about encountering something new and unusual. This is not a fairy tale world. This world is realistic, cruel, and also beautiful. Often, it is the most ordinary things that bring the greatest shock to people.

26. 决不要把自己的快乐建立在别人的痛苦之上。那样的快乐不会长久，很快就会被无边的痛苦所取代。真正的快乐，是发自内心的。

26. Never base your happiness on someone else's pain. Such happiness will not last long and will soon be replaced by endless suffering. True happiness comes from the heart.

27. 人总会有心情低落的时候，不管是因为爱情，还是因为友情，或是其他的因素，让你痛苦，让你找不到人生的乐趣。首先，不要放弃对美好事物的渴望和追求，有希望才会有动力。其次，如果你真心想摆脱目前的困境，那首先要敢于面对困难，一味逃避，只会让自己的痛苦之路更加漫长。当你遇到不顺心的事时，要学会多做几个深呼吸，尽力使自己冷静下来，之后可以找你最信任的好朋友倾诉；如果说不便让他人知道时，可以把电视机的音量放大，大声喊叫或大骂其人；也可以到野外去散散心，把那些不愉快暂且忘到脑后去，等到理清思绪再作定夺；或让自己多做工作、听听音乐，转移自己的注意力等等；

27. Everyone has moments of low spirits, whether it's due to love, friendship, or other factors that cause you pain and make it difficult to find joy in life. Firstly, do not give up your desire and pursuit of beautiful things, for hope is the source of motivation. Secondly, if you truly want to overcome your current predicament, the first step is to dare to face the difficulties. Endless avoidance will only make your path of suffering even longer. When you encounter something that upsets you, learn to take several deep breaths, try to calm yourself down, and then you can confide in your most trusted friend; if it's not convenient to let others know, you can turn up the volume on the TV, shout or curse loudly at the person; you can also go out into the countryside to clear your mind, temporarily putting those unpleasant things out of your mind until you have sorted out your thoughts and made a decision; or you can busy yourself with work, listen to music, and shift your attention in other ways, etc.