1. 第九篇 涉外篇

1. The Ninth Chapter: Foreign Affairs Section

2. 沟通技巧是指除语言沟通之外的各种人际沟通方式，它包括形体语言(目光、表情、手势、动作)、空间距离、衣着打扮等，所以又被称为身体语言沟通。非语言沟通在人际沟通中占有重要的位置。在人们每天的沟通中，语言沟通仅仅占7%，高达93%的沟通是非语言的。其中55%是通过面部表情、形体姿态和手势传递的，38%通过音调。可见，具备良好的非语言沟通能力对于每个想成功的个体来说，是多么的重要。正如罗夫瓦多爱默生所说，“人的眼睛和舌头所说的话一样多，不需要字典，却能够从眼睛语言中了解整个世界，这是它的好处。”所以，非语言沟通的学习在当代大学生成长成才的过程中起着非常重要的作用。在与外界的沟通中，把握形体语言的好坏直接关系到个人在社会中的成长。

2. Communication skills refer to various forms of interpersonal communication beyond verbal communication, including body language (gaze, expression, gestures, movements), spatial distance, clothing, and attire, hence it is also known as non-verbal communication. Non-verbal communication occupies an important position in interpersonal communication. In people's daily communication, verbal communication only accounts for 7%, while an astonishing 93% of communication is non-verbal. Among them, 55% is conveyed through facial expressions, body posture, and gestures, and 38% through tone. It is evident that possessing good non-verbal communication skills is crucial for individuals who aspire to succeed. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "The eyes and tongue of a person speak as much as words, and without a dictionary, one can understand the whole world from the language of the eyes, which is its advantage." Therefore, the learning of non-verbal communication plays a very important role in the growth and success of contemporary college students. In communication with the outside world, the quality of body language directly affects an individual's growth in society.

3. 第三篇 朋友篇

3. The Third Essay: Friends

4. 一个真正成熟的人，就会懂得，所有的争论背后都是立场，所有的立场背后都是利益。或者说，利益决定立场，立场决定观点。

4. A truly mature person understands that behind all disputes are positions, and behind all positions are interests. Or, put another way, interests determine positions, and positions determine viewpoints.

5. 不得非议交往对象的内部事物。与外人打交道时应该牢记客不责主的概念，即不能随便挑剔别人的不是，如果不是大是大非的问题，不能当面使对方出丑、尴尬、露怯、难以下台。

5. It is forbidden to criticize the internal affairs of the person with whom one is interacting. When dealing with outsiders, one should always keep in mind the concept of "guests do not blame the host," meaning that one should not arbitrarily find fault with others. If it is not a matter of great principle, one should not publicly make the other person look bad, embarrassed, exposed, or unable to recover gracefully.

6. 一般情况下，在表达不满时，我们认为应该遵循如下两条原则：第一，对事不对人。对事不对人就是在表达不满的时候，只对事件有本身发表自己不同的看法，不要攻击对方的人格。第二，对己不对人。对己不对人就是在表达不满的时候，要直接表达自己的内心感受，而不要轻易地对对方的行为下结论。一般而言，大学生的领悟性都是很强的，在一个人委婉地表达了自己的不满之后，是会有所感悟的。

6. Generally speaking, when expressing dissatisfaction, we believe it is advisable to follow two principles: First, focus on the matter rather than the person. Focusing on the matter means that when expressing dissatisfaction, one should only express their own different views on the event itself and not attack the personality of the other person. Second, focus on oneself rather than the other person. Focusing on oneself means that when expressing dissatisfaction, one should directly express their own inner feelings rather than easily making conclusions about the other person's behavior. Generally, college students have a strong ability to understand, and after someone expresses their dissatisfaction in a subtle manner, they will likely gain some insights.

7. 由于社会交往少、沟通面不大且置身于一个充满竞争的学校或社会环境，同学间产生矛盾再所难免。一般来说，同学间的矛盾主要表现为妒忌、背后议论、误会这三方面。处理不当会对同学的人际关系造成不良影响。所以，正确处理同学间的矛盾是同学间沟通的重要环节。

7. Due to limited social interaction, a narrow scope of communication, and being in a competitive school or social environment, conflicts among classmates are inevitable. Generally speaking, conflicts among classmates mainly manifest in jealousy, gossiping behind each other's backs, and misunderstandings. Improper handling of these conflicts can have a negative impact on classmates' interpersonal relationships. Therefore, correctly handling conflicts among classmates is an important part of communication among them.

8. 人际沟通中个人形象的优化主要是指个人道德品质的优化。其内容不仅包括遵守人际沟通的基本原则，还包括宽容待己，宽容待人。良好的个人形象不仅可能增强个人信心，还可以获得他人信任，稳固人际关系。

8. The optimization of personal image in interpersonal communication mainly refers to the optimization of personal moral qualities. Its content not only includes adhering to the basic principles of interpersonal communication, but also includes being tolerant of oneself and others. A good personal image can not only enhance personal confidence, but also gain others' trust and stabilize interpersonal relationships.

9. 最后，要学会处理冲突。在人际关系中，冲突是不可避免的。当你遇到冲突时，不要退缩或者回避，要勇敢地面对它，并且寻找解决的办法。要学会尊重他人的感受，并且寻求妥协的方式解决问题。

9. Finally, learn to handle conflicts. In interpersonal relationships, conflicts are inevitable. When you encounter a conflict, do not retreat or avoid it; instead, face it bravely and seek solutions. Learn to respect others' feelings and look for ways to resolve the issue through compromise.

10. 诚实是成功交往的基础。一个人具有诚实的性格是可贵的。知心朋友和牢固的友谊是通过真诚相处才获得的。那么，怎样做到诚实呢一要正直无私；二要说老实话，办老实事，做老实人；三要表里如一，言行一致。

10. Honesty is the foundation of successful communication. A person with an honest character is valuable. True friends and strong friendships are obtained through sincere interaction. Then, how can one achieve honesty? Firstly, be upright and selfless; secondly, speak the truth, do honest deeds, and be an honest person; thirdly, be consistent in one's words and actions.

11. 听别人讲话时要正视对方，切忌小动作，以免对方认为你不耐烦；力求在对方的角色上设身处地地考虑问题，对对方表示关心、理解和同情；不要轻易地与对方争论或妄加评论。

11. When listening to others speak, maintain eye contact with the speaker and avoid any small movements to prevent the impression that you are impatient. Strive to consider issues from the other person's perspective and show concern, understanding, and sympathy towards them; do not easily argue with them or make arbitrary comments.

12. 第十篇 综合技巧篇

12. Chapter 10: Comprehensive Skills Section

13. 大学生还要学会有效的聆听。人际关系学者认为“倾听”是维持人际关系的有效法宝，几乎所有的人都喜欢“听他讲话”的人。所以，大学生要学会有效的倾听、聆听。在沟通时，作为听者要少讲多听，不要打断对方的谈话,最好不要插话，要等别人讲完之后再发表自己的见解；要尽量表现出聆听的兴趣和恰如其分的肯定和称赞。

13. College students also need to learn to listen effectively. Interpersonal relationship scholars believe that "listening" is an effective tool for maintaining interpersonal relationships, and almost everyone likes people who "listen to them speak." Therefore, college students should learn to listen effectively, to be attentive. When communicating, as the listener, one should speak less and listen more, do not interrupt the other person's conversation, and it is best not to interject; wait until the other person has finished speaking before expressing one's own opinions; and try to show an interest in listening and give appropriate praise and affirmation.

14. “眼睛是心灵的窗户”，“眼睛像嘴一样会说话”。面部表情是内心情绪的外在表现，它们均能表达人的态度和情感。如眉飞色舞表示内心高兴，怒目圆睁表示愤怒等。沟通中还可以用人体动作来表达思想，大学生在人际交往中根据谈话的内容和场合，正确运用非语言艺术，巧妙地表达自己的思想感情，有时能起到“此时无声胜有声”的作用。但非语言艺术要运用得恰到好处不可过于频繁和夸张，以免给人矫揉造作之感。

14. "The eyes are the windows of the soul," and "the eyes can speak like the mouth." Facial expressions are the external manifestation of inner emotions, and they can both express a person's attitude and feelings. For example, an arched brow indicates joy, and wide eyes filled with fury indicate anger, and so on. In communication, one can also use bodily movements to express thoughts. College students, in their interpersonal interactions, should correctly utilize non-verbal art according to the content of the conversation and the situation, skillfully expressing their own thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, this can achieve the effect of "in the silence, there is more than in the noise." However, non-verbal art should be used to the right extent and should not be overused or exaggerated, as this may give people the impression of being artificial or insincere.

15. 第一，称呼得体。称呼反映出人们之间心理关系的程度。恰当得体的称呼，使人能获得一种心理满足，使对方感到亲切，交往便有了良好的心理气氛；称呼不得体，往往会引起对方的不快甚至反感，使交往受阻或中断。所以，在交往过程中，要根据对方的年龄、身份、职业等具体情况及交往的场合、双方关系的亲疏远近来决定对方的称呼。对长辈的称呼要尊敬，对同辈的称呼要亲切、友好，对关系密切的人可直呼其名，对不熟悉的要用敬词。

15. Firstly, proper titles are used. The title reflects the extent of the psychological relationship between people. Appropriate and respectful titles can make people feel a sense of psychological satisfaction, making the other person feel close and friendly, creating a good psychological atmosphere for communication; inappropriate titles often lead to the other person's unease or even resentment, hindering or breaking off the communication. Therefore, during the process of communication, one should decide on the title of the other person based on their age, status, occupation, and other specific circumstances, as well as the context of the communication and the closeness or distance of the relationship between the two parties. Titles for the elderly should be respectful, for peers it should be warm and friendly, for close relationships, it may be appropriate to use their names directly, and for unfamiliar individuals, it is necessary to use respectful terms.

16. 其实言语得体也是出于真诚，话说得恰到好处，不含虚假成分，能说不真吗？然而真诚还有它另外一面，那就是避免过于客套，过分地粉饰雕琢，失去心理的纯真自然。绕弯过多，礼仪过分，反而给人“见外”的感觉，显得不够坦诚。

16. In fact, appropriate language also stems from sincerity; when words are chosen to the point, without any false elements, can they be said to be insincere? However, sincerity also has another aspect, which is to avoid excessive politeness and overdone embellishment, and to lose the purity and naturalness of one's psychology. Too many detours and excessive etiquette can反而 give people the feeling of being excluded, appearing less honest.

17. 大学生个性的多样化，感觉的“过敏”,不可避免地会产生一些矛盾。这就要求大学生在沟通中不要斤斤计较，而要谦让大度、克制忍让，不计较对方的态度，不计较对方的言辞，并勇于承担自己的行为责任，做到“宰相肚里能撑船”。只要胸怀宽广，发火的人一定也会自觉无趣。宽容克制并不是软弱、怯懦的表现。相反，它是有涵养“肚量”的表现，是建立良好人际关系的润滑剂，能“化干戈为玉帛”，赢得更多的朋友。

17. The diversity of personalities among university students and their "hypersensitivity" inevitably lead to some contradictions. This requires university students to be magnanimous and tolerant in communication, to be self-restrained and accommodating, not to be concerned about the other person's attitude or words, and to bravely take responsibility for their own actions, achieving the virtue of a prime minister's broad-mindedness. As long as one has a broad mind, the person who loses their temper will also feel bored on their own. Tolerance and self-restraint are not signs of weakness or timidity. On the contrary, they are manifestations of one's cultivation and capacity, serving as a lubricant for building good interpersonal relationships, capable of "turning swords into plowshares," and winning more friends.

18. 花是浇死的，人是气死的。

18. Flowers are killed by overwatering, people are killed by stress.

19. 尊重他人就是尊重他人的人格，承认他人在交往中的平等地位。大学生在交往中要尊重对方 的兴趣、爱好、尊重对方的行为习惯，要礼貌待人。一般讲，大学生的自尊心都较强，因此 ，在人际交往中尤要注意尊重原则。相互之间的尊重是良好关系建立的前提条件。

19. Respecting others means respecting their personality and acknowledging their equal status in social interactions. University students should respect the other person's interests, hobbies, and behavior habits, and should treat others with politeness. Generally speaking, university students tend to have a strong sense of self-respect, so they should pay particular attention to the principle of respect in interpersonal interactions. Mutual respect is a prerequisite for establishing good relationships.

20. 总之，对于在校大学生，要从各方面锻炼自己，克服各方面的心理问题，改善人际关系，使自己能够适应大学生活。大学时间是大学生心理趋于成熟的时期。在此阶段，特别需要别人的理解，愿意向别人倾诉自己的思想，以便通过别人的理解与安慰而对压抑的情绪进行调节，使心理压力缓解。另外，就业形势严峻，现在我们重视人际交往，掌握交往技巧，积累交往经验，不仅是大学生现实生活的需要，也是大学生成功走向社会的需要

20. In summary, for college students, it is necessary to train themselves in all aspects, overcome various psychological problems, improve interpersonal relationships, and adapt to college life. University time is a period when the psychology of college students tends to mature. At this stage, it is particularly important to seek others' understanding, be willing to share their thoughts with others, so that through others' understanding and comfort, they can regulate the suppressed emotions and alleviate psychological stress. Additionally, the employment situation is severe, and now we attach importance to interpersonal communication, master communication skills, accumulate communication experience, which is not only the need for the realistic life of college students, but also the need for them to successfully enter society.

21. 第五篇 说服篇

21. Chapter 5: The Art of Persuasion

22. “社交话题”一经启动，就很难为哪一个人所左右，没有特别的原因，不要轻易唱反调，“顺话”已成了交际语言中的秘诀，要能随机应变，学会在主张的观点和讲话的立场上作适当的妥协和让步。

22. Once the "social topics" are initiated, it is difficult for them to be dominated by any one person. Without special reasons, do not easily sing against the tide. "Conversational subtleties" have become the secret in the language of communication. One must be able to adapt to different situations and learn to make appropriate compromises and concessions in terms of one's stance and the views advocated.

23. 合理运用我们和他人的空间，会使取得意想不到的交际效果。鉴于此，当代大学生无论在校内还是校外，学习把握与人沟通时的恰当距离，并有效运用，也不失为一种很好的沟通技巧。

23. Appropriately utilizing our own space and that of others can lead to unexpected communication effects. In light of this, contemporary university students, whether on or off campus, learning to maintain the appropriate distance when communicating with others and effectively applying it is also a very good communication skill.

24. 从马斯洛的需要层次塔中可以看出，最低层次的需要是人的生物性需要；中间层次的需要属于人的社会以性需要；最高层次的需要是人的精神需要。要求获得尊重是人的五大基本需要之一，而且是属于人的高层次的精神需要。自尊是渴望自己有成就、有名誉，能得到他人的常识信任和重视。前者是建立在自我评价基础之上的尊严，后者是建立在社会以评价基础之上的尊严。

24. From Maslow's hierarchy of needs, it can be seen that the lowest level of needs are human's biological needs; the needs in the middle level are human's socially motivated needs; and the highest level of needs are human's spiritual needs. The need to be respected is one of the five basic human needs and belongs to the high-level spiritual needs of humans. Self-esteem is the desire to achieve success, have reputation, and to be able to receive common trust and attention from others. The former is based on self-evaluation and is about dignity, while the latter is based on social evaluation and is also about dignity.

25. 只有有效将语言和非语言沟通技巧有机地结全并在现实沟通中最大化地加以运用，是当代大学生必备的能力之一。

25. Only by effectively integrating and maximizing the application of both linguistic and non-linguistic communication skills in real-life communication can it be considered one of the essential abilities of contemporary university students.

26. 所谓度就是保持事物质与量界限，是事物质与量的统一。人际交往必须遵循适度原则。

26. The so-called "degree" refers to maintaining the qualitative and quantitative boundaries of things, which is the unity of quality and quantity of things. Interpersonal communication must follow the principle of moderation.

27. 走自己的路，不为别人的冷嘲热讽所分心，所停步。当一两次考试成绩超过人，别人可能认为是偶然的，嫉妒的只是你的“运气”；然而，当你的成绩稳定在比别人高的水平上时，别人就会心悦诚服的佩服你是名副其实的优等生。此时，你就不再成为他们妒忌的对象了。

27. Walk your own path, undistracted and unimpeded by others' sarcastic remarks. When you score higher than others once or twice, they might attribute it to chance, and their jealousy is only directed at your "luck"; however, when your performance consistently remains at a level higher than others', others will sincerely admire you as a genuine top student. At this point, you will no longer be the target of their jealousy.

28. 第六篇 上司篇

28. Chapter VI: The Supervisor's Chapter

29. 沟通是人在社会上生存与发展最大最迫切的需要所在。人们要想有所作为，学会沟通是基本条件。当今世界，新型人才最主要的特点在于是否具有沟通能力和沟通本领。有效的沟通已关系到人们社会心理、社会交往、经济合作效率、素质教育以及社会文明建设的大问题。

29. Communication is the greatest and most urgent need for people to survive and develop in society. To make a difference, learning to communicate is a fundamental requirement. In today's world, the most prominent characteristic of new talents lies in whether they have communication skills and abilities. Effective communication has become a major issue related to people's social psychology, social interactions, efficiency of economic cooperation, quality education, and the construction of social civilization.

30. 第二篇 处世篇

30. Chapter Two: The Art of Living

31. 与人交际，谦逊礼让是完全必要的，然而不分对象、不分场合，一味地“请”，“对不起”，未免有虚伪的嫌疑。比如说故人相聚，还过分客套，搞得别人难为情，这就很难说是真诚。这里缺少点什么呢？缺少直率和坦诚！许多情况下，我们需要直抒胸臆的言语艺术，是怎么样，就怎么说，还事物以真面目。直言不讳，是待人接物很重要的语言技巧。

31. In social interactions, modesty and politeness are absolutely necessary, but to keep saying "please" and "excuse me" without distinction of the person or the situation, it might seem insincere. For instance, when old friends meet, if one is overly polite, it can make others feel embarrassed, which is hard to be considered sincere. What is missing here? Lack of straightforwardness and honesty! In many cases, we need the art of expressing our true feelings openly, speaking as it is, and presenting things in their true form. Speaking frankly is an important language skill in dealing with people.

32. “活着活着就明白了，跟任何人较劲 ，就是在消耗自己，当无法沟通时就放弃沟通。人和人相处原则是，我们不同，但都没有错。不必强求别人完全理解自己，不去计较小事，就随它去。能不去理会他人，睁只眼闭只眼，较劲只会伤自己的身体。

32. "As life goes on, you come to understand that arguing with anyone is just consuming yourself. When communication fails, it's time to give up. The principle of getting along with others is that we are different, but none of us are wrong. There's no need to force others to fully understand you, and don't dwell on trivial matters. Just let it go. If you can ignore others, sometimes with one eye open and the other closed, arguing will only harm your own body."

33. 第四，要学会沟通。沟通是建立良好人际关系的关键。在大学里，你会遇到各种各样的人，有时候他们的想法和观点与你不同。要学会与他们进行有效的沟通，听取他们的想法并表达自己的观点。

33. Fourth, learn to communicate. Communication is the key to establishing good interpersonal relationships. In university, you will meet various types of people, and sometimes their ideas and opinions may differ from yours. Learn to communicate effectively with them, listen to their ideas, and express your own viewpoints.