揭开顶级的奥秘：如何通过赞好人来赢得虚幻的认可，探寻人际交往的微妙艺术。

Unveiling the Secrets of the Elite: How to Win Illusory Recognition by Praise, and Explore the Subtle Art of Interpersonal Communication.

1. 世界是自己的，和他人无关。如果我们太过在意别人的眼光和评论，活在别人的世界里，就会迷失自己，一生委屈。

1. The world is your own, and has nothing to do with others. If we are too concerned about others' opinions and comments, and live in others' world, we will lose ourselves and feel wronged for a lifetime.

2. 云谷禅师说：“一个人不是活给别人看的，而是为自己而活，要做一个有意义的自己。”

2. Master Yun Gu said, "One does not live for others to see, but for oneself to live. One must strive to be a meaningful person."

3. 有些人太在乎自己的人际关系，非常努力地经营人脉，期待借助别人力量的加持，给自己提供便利。然而，人脉是价值交换的结果，一味地巴结迎合，讨好别人，不但于事无补，还会降低自己的身价，成为别人眼里的笑话。

3. Some people place too much emphasis on their interpersonal relationships, working very hard to cultivate their network, hoping to leverage the support of others to provide themselves with convenience. However, networking is the result of value exchange; to flatter and cater to others without reservation is not only ineffective, but it also lowers one's own value and turns one into a joke in the eyes of others.

4. 木心曾说，“一个人到世界上来，来做什么？爱最可爱的，最好听的，最好看的，最好吃的。”

4. Mu Xin once said, "Why does a person come to the world? To love the most lovable, the most beautiful to hear, the most beautiful to see, and the most delicious to taste."

5. 不要去取悦别人，放弃所有的无效社交，全心全意沉淀自己，精进自己，成全自己，才是对人生最好的善待。

5. Do not seek to please others, abandon all futile social interactions, immerse yourself wholeheartedly in self-refinement, and perfect yourself. This is the best way to treat life with kindness.

6. 与其讨好别人，不如取悦自己。人为什么而活，不过是幸福快乐而已。

6. It's better to please yourself than to cater to others. The reason why people live is merely for happiness and joy.

7. “人性里面一个最特别的弱点就是：在意别人如何看待自己。”

7. "One of the most peculiar weaknesses in human nature is the concern over how others perceive oneself."

8. 取悦别人，还花费自己大量的时间和精力，失去了聚焦和提升自己的机会。你低到尘埃里，畏畏缩缩，唯唯诺诺，卑躬屈膝，得不到别人的好感和重视，还把自己弄得一身狼狈，社畜不如。

8. Trying to please others consumes a great deal of your time and energy, causing you to lose the opportunity to focus on and improve yourself. You sink to the dust, cowering, fawning, and bowing, unable to gain others' favor and attention. You end up making a mess of yourself, worse than a social animal.

9. 严歌苓说：

9. Yan Geling said:

10. 《人间失格》里写道：“无论对谁太过热情，都增加了不被珍惜的概率。”

10. "No matter how enthusiastic one is towards anyone, it only increases the likelihood of not being cherished," reads the text from "Kokoro" (The Human Condition).

11. 毕淑敏说：“我们的生命，不是因为讨好别人而存在的。”

11. Bi Shumin said, "Our lives do not exist to please others."

12. 对人好是一种修养，是一种胸怀，更是一种为他人着想的善良。但对所有人好，就是一个没有原则和底线的老好人，只会被别人算计，拿捏，欺凌，自取其辱。

12. Being good to people is a form of cultivation, a display of breadth of mind, and more importantly, a kind of benevolence that considers others. However, being good to everyone makes one a pushover without principles or底线, who can only be manipulated, taken advantage of, bullied, and bring dishonor upon oneself.

13. 余生，讨好自己就行了。

13. For the rest of my life, I just need to please myself.

14. 不要去讨好别人，努力活出自己的精彩，才是人间值得。

14. Do not try to please others; striving to live a wonderful life of your own is what makes humanity worth it.

15. “我发现一个人在放弃给别人留好印象的负担之后，原来心里会如此踏实，一个人不必再讨人喜欢，就可以像我此刻这样，停止受累。”

15. "I found that after someone gives up the burden of impressing others, their heart feels so at ease. A person doesn't have to please others anymore, and can stop feeling exhausted like I am right now."

16. 每个人都有自己的长处和不足，会被人欣赏，也会被人厌恶。我们要学会接纳人情冷暖和世态炎凉，允许别人不喜欢自己，不接受自己，不认可自己。

16. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and they will be appreciated by some and disliked by others. We should learn to accept the coldness and warmth of human emotions and the vicissitudes of the world, allowing others to not like us, to not accept us, and to not recognize us.

17. 不要因为别人对你的态度，而纠结痛苦，耿耿于怀。

17. Do not worry or suffer in pain over others' attitudes towards you, and hold onto it in your mind.

18. 在与人相处中，我们要对人好，但不要对所有人好。

18. In our interactions with others, we should be kind to people, but not to everyone.

19. 不要理会别人的傲慢与偏见，不要在乎世俗的桎梏和浅薄，走自己的路，唱自己的歌，过自己向往的日子。总之，按照自己喜欢的方式度过一生。

19. Ignore others' arrogance and prejudice, don't care about the constraints and triviality of the world, walk your own path, sing your own song, and live the life you yearn for. In short, spend your entire life in the way you like.

20. 看日升月落，听草木拔节，感受世界的风朝雨夕，享受人生的岁月静好。

20. Watch the sunrise and the moonset, listen to the sound of plants sprouting, feel the world's changing winds and rain, and enjoy the peaceful years of life.

21. 远离虚情假意的饭局，远离让人心烦的烂人烂事，远离一切不喜欢自己的人，把让自己不快乐的人和事统统屏蔽在外，按照内心的欲念，认真经营自己的生活。

21. Stay away from dinner parties filled with insincere performances, steer clear of annoying people and things, and keep away from everyone who dislikes you. Block out everyone and everything that brings you unhappiness, and live your life with sincerity, following your inner desires.

22. 一心想着取悦别人，不会博得对方真正的尊重和善待，还会被辜负，被冷落，被看不起。

22. Constantly thinking about pleasing others will not earn their true respect and kindness; instead, it may lead to being disappointed, ignored, and looked down upon.