探寻无条件的快乐之道，开启最佳生活篇章。

Pursue the path to unconditional happiness and open the best chapter of life.

1. 真正的快乐，是没有条件的，不需要任何外物的加持。

1. True happiness is unconditional and does not require the加持 of any external objects.

2. 修好内心，拥有无条件快乐，才是最顶级的生活。

2. Cultivating a peaceful mind and possessing unconditional happiness is the epitome of the best life.

3. 如何走出“过去回不去，未来没希望“的绝境？

3. How to break out of the predicament of "the past cannot be returned, and the future has no hope"?

4. 有条件的快乐，都是欲望开出的有毒花朵，看着光彩照人，闻着芬芳馥郁，其实会让人陷入更大的烦恼和空虚。

4. Conditional happiness is a poisonous flower blooming from desire. It may look radiant and smell fragrant, but in reality, it can lead people into greater烦恼 (troubles) and a feeling of emptiness.

5. 02 与父母沟通，并原谅自己

5. 02 Communicate with parents and forgive yourself

6. 所以，当我不能成为他们想要的那个优秀的孩子（其实已经做到了能做到的，只是因为对自己要求太高且不符合实际而目标受挫），不能实现父母的期望，特别是这个时候我还抑郁了。

6. Therefore, when I couldn't become the outstanding child they wanted me to be (I actually have achieved what I could do, but my goals were frustrated because I set too high standards for myself and they were not realistic), and couldn't fulfill my parents' expectations, especially at this time when I was also depressed.

7. 他找来丞相，询问让自己快乐的方法。

7. He summoned the Prime Minister to inquire about the ways to find happiness.

8. "为了他人的认可而活着失去了自我，最后导致的结果就是非常的痛苦"

8. "Living for others' recognition has lost oneself, and the ultimate result is immense suffering."

9. 我就经常和伦伦谈起宝宝出生后，我们的教育观：

9. I often talk to L伦伦 about our educational views after the baby is born.

10. 责备父母无意识地给了很多枷锁，需要我出人头地，给了我沉重的压力；

10. Blame my parents for unconsciously imposing many shackles on me, pressuring me to excel and giving me a heavy burden.

11. 而执着于外在条件，本身就是痛苦的根源。求不得，放不下，耿耿于怀，纠结不休，把自己折腾得精疲力尽，烦恼不已。

11. Being overly attached to external conditions is itself the source of suffering. Not being able to obtain what one desires, being unable to let go, being preoccupied with it, being tangled up in it without end, wearing oneself out, and being constantly troubled.

12. 我们每个人或多或少都有心理伤痕，大概没有完美的父母，也没有完美的家庭，尤其是亲子关系爱恨交加。

12. We all have psychological scars to some extent, for there are no perfect parents or perfect families, especially in the complex parent-child relationship where love and hate intertwine.

13. 我以一个重度抑郁症患者，从战胜抑郁到不断复发到稳定，来回答下，患者在抑郁时的内心状态，希望大家能对他们多一些包容，谢谢大家。

13. As a severe depressive, I will answer from the perspective of overcoming depression, to constant recurrence, and then to stability. I will describe the inner state of patients when they are in depression, hoping that everyone can show them more tolerance. Thank you all.

14. 要么当父母看到我们意志力的瘫痪，丧失任何行为时，觉得我们是懒惰，开始不断地用他们所谓的激将法来刺激我们

14. Either when parents see our willpower paralysis and the loss of any behavior, they feel we are lazy and start to constantly stimulate us with what they call "goading tactics."

15. 看过一段话：“心，是世间一切的根源。世间的一切事物，我们看到的其实不过是假象而已，都是由因缘和合而生的。无自性，无实体，了不可得，因缘生，因缘灭的。”

15. Looked at a passage: "The heart is the origin of all things in the world. All things in the world, what we see are actually illusions, all arising from the convergence of causes and conditions. It has no inherent nature, no substance, cannot be found, and arises and ceases with causes and conditions."

16. 放下恨，生活会更轻松；学会爱，生活会更快乐。

16. Let go of恨, life will be easier; learn to love, life will be happier.

17. 冲突一方面来自恨父母把我培养成这样的性格，导致了抑郁；

17. The conflict on one hand comes from hating my parents for nurturing such a personality in me, which has led to depression.

18. “我不想那么辛苦的工作，我其实希望工作之外还有时间发展自己的业务爱好，比如读书、美食，而非工作就是全部”

18. "I don't want to work so hard; I actually hope to have time outside of work to develop my own business hobbies, like reading and gourmet food, rather than having work be the whole of my life."

19. 国王亲自出行，历经数年，终于在海滩找到一个男人，他就是众人公认的最快乐的人。

19. The king himself embarked on a journey that lasted for several years, and finally found a man on the beach, who was universally recognized as the happiest person.

20. 不和伦伦吵架，一定要让宝宝看到、感受到我们之间夫妻之间很和睦，很幸福，让ta学会爱，学会付出，学会合作（所以从备孕到现在我们真的没吵架过）；

20. We must not argue with L伦伦, and we must make sure that the baby sees and feels that our marriage is very harmonious and happy. Let them learn to love, to give, and to cooperate (so from the time of preparing for pregnancy until now, we have really not argued at all).

21. 修好自己的内心，放下对外在世界的执着，心无挂碍，自然自在。

21. Cultivate your inner self, let go of attachment to the external world, be free from any hindrances in your heart, and you will naturally feel at ease.

22. 抑郁时，很多人都会怨恨原生家庭，其实恨背后也是深深的爱。那么这种爱恨交织在抑郁时体现在哪些方面呢？

22. When feeling depressed, many people tend to harbor resentment towards their family of origin, but in fact, the underlying feeling is deeply rooted in love. So, how does this love-hate complex manifest during depression?

23. 我在朋友圈写道：“中华民族是一个重孝的民族，中国人最大的问题不是不孝，而是在孝的同时，却又被孝所束缚。”

23. I wrote in my circle of friends: "The Chinese nation is a people who value filial piety. The biggest problem for Chinese people is not the lack of filial piety, but rather, being bound by filial piety while practicing it."

24. 从现在起，抛弃你所有的内疚和自责，因为无需内疚和自责，我们并没有错。

24. From now on, cast away all your guilt and self-reproach, for there is no need for guilt and self-reproach, as we have not made a mistake.

25. 西西的《抑郁症，我们内心的冲突》包含以下内容（感兴趣请持续关注）：

25. Xi Xi's "Depression: The Conflict Within Us" includes the following content (please keep an eye out for more if interested):

26. 当求助于父母时，因为父母对抑郁症的不了解，他们不知道我们的内心已经崩溃。

26. When we turn to our parents for help, due to their lack of understanding of depression, they are unaware that our inner selves have collapsed.

27. 有些人，来了去了，有些人，近了远了。

27. Some come and go, while others draw near and then grow distant.

28. 01 童年带来的影响

28. 01 The Influence of Childhood

29. "我不想再跟别人比较了，也希望他们不要和别人比较了。花费物力、精力，做了很多给他人看到的面子的东西，而自己过得很累很累"

29. "I don't want to compare myself with others anymore, and I also hope that they won't compare themselves with others. We spend a lot of energy and effort on doing things that show off to others, only to find ourselves exhausted and overwhelmed."

30. 你看，匆匆一年又是秋，岁月不堪数，故人不如初！

30. Look, another year has passed quickly and it's autumn again. The years are countless, and the old friends are not as good as they used to be!

31. “和解和孝顺不代表肯定父母造成的伤害是正确的。和解和孝顺是因为我们已经成长到有力量去面对创伤，有力量去拥有自己美好的人生，有力量比曾经爱且伤害自己的父母更好地去表达爱。”

31. "Reconciliation and filial piety do not mean that the harm caused by our parents is justified. Reconciliation and filial piety are because we have grown to have the strength to face the trauma, to have the strength to live a beautiful life of our own, and to have the strength to express love better than the parents who once loved and hurt us."

32. 这一切，与其某天后悔父母没做好，不如提前学习，当下好好做好每一件事，而不是后悔；做好了现在，自己内心一定坚信未来可以做好，那么未来也不用担忧了。

32. It's better to learn in advance and do every task well in the present than to regret later that our parents didn't do a good job. If you do well in the now, you will surely believe in your heart that the future can also be handled well, and then there's no need to worry about the future.

33. 其实从自己的成长过程中，也能总结很多亲子教育过程中对后代身心发展不好的经验、教训，从而学会以一种更好的方式去和我们自己的后代相处，何尝不是一件好事呢？

33. In fact, from our own growth process, we can also summarize many negative experiences and lessons in the process of parenting education that are not good for the physical and mental development of our offspring. Isn't it a good thing to learn to interact with our own descendants in a better way from this?

34. 要做到明白为什么父母会对我们这样那样，为什么父母潜意识灌输了那么多价值观念给我们？其实回答这个问题，要追溯到父母的原生家庭，父母当时所在的社会背景，他们所面临的挫折和社会的压力。

34. To understand why parents behave in certain ways towards us, why they subconsciously instill so many values in us? In fact, to answer this question, we need to trace back to the parents' original family, the social background they were in at that time, the setbacks they faced, and the social pressures they endured.

35. 某天，朋友圈看到一篇很热门的文章：《徐凯文：父母真的皆”祸害“吗？》，是的，抑郁过的人大概都知道，原生家庭对我们的影响。

35. One day, I saw a very popular article in my朋友圈 titled "Xu Kaikun: Are Parents Really All 'Evils'?". Yes, people who have experienced depression probably know that our original family has a profound impact on us.

36. 也许，到了父母这年龄，这种习惯，这种根植于他们内心的价值观，我们根本改变不了，但我说出了我内心想要的以及不想要的。同时，我也告诉自己：这一次，我要为自己而活。

36. Perhaps, at the age of our parents, this habit, this set of values deeply rooted in their hearts, is something we can't fundamentally change, but I have expressed what I truly want and what I don't want. At the same time, I also told myself: This time, I will live for myself.

37. 再或者，父母很心疼我们，于是开始也被带入这种情绪，他们开始着急，焦虑。

37. Alternatively, parents feel very sorry for us, and they too are drawn into this emotional state, becoming anxious and worried.

38. 特别责备父母，觉得父母从来都不是爱我的，而是带有条件爱我的，希望我能出人头地才去爱我的。

38. Particularly blame my parents, feeling that they have never loved me unconditionally, but only with conditions, loving me only when they hope I can excel and stand out.

39. 对于第二种，接纳自我就可以了。具体请参考我之前写的文章《成长篇：认清自己，找到自己想要的》、《我是如何做到不在意他人看法的？》。

39. For the second type, self-acceptance is enough. For more details, please refer to the articles I have written before, such as "Growth Chapter: Know Yourself, Find What You Want," and "How I Achieve Not Caring About Others' Opinions."

40. 没有谁的人生是容易的！各有各的苦，如鱼饮水，冷暖自知。学会放下执念，摆脱烦恼，得到快乐，才是一个人最好的生活。

40. No one's life is easy! Everyone has their own hardships, like fish drinking water, knowing the cold and warmth by themselves. Learning to let go of attachments, get rid of troubles, and find happiness is the best life for a person.

41. 责备和激将法导致了我们的愤怒，愤怒不断强化便转变成恨。他们的焦虑则导致了我们内疚、自责，内疚自责强化的结果就是恨自己，最后开始攻击自己。

41. Accusation and goading led to our anger, which, with continuous reinforcement, turned into hatred. Their anxiety, on the other hand, led to our guilt and self-reproach, and the result of this reinforcement was self-hatred, which eventually led to self-attack.

42. 我也差不多是在接受现实之后才去处理这个冲突的。处理的办法就是：理解父母、原谅自己、原谅父母。

42. I was also about to deal with this conflict after accepting the reality. The way I dealt with it was: understanding my parents, forgiving myself, and forgiving my parents.

43. 人是为了活着本身而活，不是为了活着之外的任何事物而活。

43. People live for the sake of living itself, not for any thing beyond living.

44. 实现不了父母的期望，我们开始自责、内疚。因为父母还有很多亲戚、很多朋友都在和父母比较，我也感受到父母也不认输，他们只想第一，我应该为父母争光的，让他们脸上有光的。

44. Unable to meet our parents' expectations, we start to blame and feel guilty ourselves. Because many relatives and friends of our parents are constantly comparing with them, and I also feel that my parents are not willing to admit defeat; they only want to be number one. I should have brought glory to my parents, making them proud.