在探索社交自控艺术的奥秘时，我们往往面临远程评价、期许与辩好的挑战。本文将揭开这些现象的面纱，引领读者走进社交自控的艺术世界。

When exploring the mysteries of social self-control art, we often face challenges such as remote evaluation, expectations, and debates. This article will lift the veil on these phenomena, leading readers into the artistic world of social self-control.

1. 父母爱不爱你不重要，子女爱不爱你不重要，伴侣爱不爱你不重要，亲戚朋友爱不爱你更不重要。你只需要自己救赎自己，自己取悦自己，自己成就自己。

1. Whether your parents love you or not is not important, whether your children love you or not is not important, whether your partner loves you or not is not important, and whether your relatives and friends love you or not is even less important. What matters is that you save yourself, please yourself, and achieve yourself.

2. 个人空间和独立性：独处为成年人提供了独立、自主的空间，使他们能够独立思考、自由决策，并在没有其他人干扰的情况下，从容地处理个人事务。这样的独立性对于个人的成长和发展非常重要。

2. Personal Space and Independence: Solitude provides adults with a space for independence and autonomy, allowing them to think independently, make free decisions, and calmly handle personal matters without interference from others. Such independence is crucial for an individual's growth and development.

3. 各人自扫门前雪，莫管他人瓦上霜。

3. Mind your own business and don't meddle with others' troubles.

4. 情绪都带有个人的标签与偏见，所以内心成熟的人会通过他人的情绪观察背后的动机与需求，从而更深入与人交流。比如夫妻之间的抱怨，不成熟的丈夫会认为妻子无理取闹，而如果是内心成熟的丈夫会看到妻子的不满是看到妻子需要更多的爱，所以他们会在行动上与语言上给予妻子更多的关注与爱护，从而消弭之间的矛盾，他们往往更有效地解决生活中的矛盾。

4. Emotions are often tagged with personal biases, so mature individuals observe the underlying motives and needs behind others' emotions, thereby engaging in more profound communication. For example, in the case of complaints between a husband and wife, an immature husband might think his wife is being unreasonable, whereas a mature husband would see his wife's dissatisfaction as a sign that she needs more love. Therefore, they would provide more attention and care to their wife through actions and words, thereby resolving conflicts between them. They often more effectively resolve life's contradictions.

5. 探索自我：独处可以提供一个宁静的环境，让人们得以专注于自己内心的思考和感受。通过独处，成年人可以更深入地探索自己的喜好、价值观和目标，从而更好地了解和发展自己。

5. Exploring the Self: Solitude can provide a tranquil environment that allows individuals to focus on their inner thoughts and feelings. Through solitude, adults can delve deeper into their likes, values, and goals, thus better understanding and developing themselves.

6. 我们未必真正了解别人，很多时候只是凭借着一鳞半爪的信息，别人评头论足，说三道四，这是很不负责任的行为。

6. We may not truly understand others; often, we are just relying on fragmented information. People may make criticisms and remarks, this is a very irresponsible behavior.

7. 自主和掌控感：独处给予成年人自主和掌控的感觉。他们可以自由选择自己喜欢的活动或思考的方向，不受他人的限制或期望。这种自主性和掌控感是独处带来的一种快乐。

7. Autonomy and a sense of control: Solitude gives adults a sense of autonomy and control. They can freely choose activities they enjoy or directions for their thoughts, without being constrained by others' limitations or expectations. This autonomy and sense of control are a source of joy brought about by solitude.

8. 我们曾如此期望别人的认可，渴望和别人打成一片，互相取暖和支持，后来才发现，人情似纸张张薄，世界是自己的，和其他人毫无关系。

8. We had once so eagerly sought others' recognition, yearning to blend in with them, to share warmth and support, only to later realize that human emotions are as thin as sheets of paper, and the world is one's own, having nothing to do with others.

9. 成年人之所以会喜欢独处，是因为独处可以给予他们一些特殊的体验和内心的满足。独处的快乐可以从身心两个层面进行解读。下面将详细探讨成年人喜欢独处和独处的快乐。

9. Adults enjoy solitude because it offers them some unique experiences and inner satisfaction. The joy of solitude can be interpreted on both physical and mental levels. The following will delve into the reasons why adults prefer solitude and the happiness it brings.

10. 总结起来，成年人喜欢独处的原因和独处的快乐可以归结为探索自我、个人空间和独立性、放松和充电、自我反省和成长等方面。独处让人们享受内心的宁静，体验自主和掌控的快感，促进深度思考和创造力的释放，以及实现自我接纳和自我关爱。在现代社会中，善于独处并从中寻找快乐的能力对于个人的成长和幸福感至关重要。

10. In summary, the reasons why adults enjoy being alone and the joy derived from solitude can be attributed to aspects such as exploring oneself, personal space and independence, relaxation and recharging, self-reflection and growth. Being alone allows people to enjoy inner peace, experience the pleasure of autonomy and control, promote deep thinking and the release of creativity, as well as achieve self-acceptance and self-care. In modern society, the ability to enjoy solitude and find joy in it is crucial for personal growth and well-being.

11. 自我反省和成长：独处提供了一个反思自己行为和经历的机会。成年人可以回顾过去，总结经验教训，并对未来制定更明确的目标。通过这种自我反省，他们可以不断成长和改善自己，进一步提高工作、学习和生活的质量。

11. Self-reflection and growth: Solitude provides an opportunity for reflection on one's behavior and experiences. Adults can look back on the past, summarize lessons learned, and set clearer goals for the future. Through this self-reflection, they can continuously grow and improve themselves, further enhancing the quality of their work, study, and life.

12. 内心成熟的人会放下对他人的期待。年轻时候，无论是对自己的伴侣还是孩子，他们都会有内心的期待与要求，希望别人按照自己的想法来。而真正内心成熟的人会知道，每个人都是独立的个体，放下期待就是完全接纳自己伴侣和孩子，不刻意追求他们改变，而是发自内向理解与尊重他们。

12. Mature individuals let go of their expectations for others. In their youth, whether it be for their partners or children, they will have internal expectations and demands, hoping that others will follow their ideas. However, truly mature individuals understand that each person is an independent entity. Letting go of expectations means fully accepting their partners and children, not trying to force them to change, but instead, coming from within to understand and respect them.

13. 你永远没办法赚到认知以外的钱。知识越贫乏的人，越拥有一种莫名其妙的勇气和自信。

13. You can never earn money beyond your cognitive level. The more knowledge-poor a person is, the more they possess an inexplicable courage and confidence.

14. 就像我们做生意一样，投进去的资金，开始可能收获很少，甚至是没有收获。这时候，不成熟的人，就想着要放弃。有些人会坚持的久一点，有些人在很短的时间内就选择放弃，殊不知选择放弃就是失败的主要原因。而成熟的人，在投资之前，就已经考虑周全。做生意，我们首先考虑的不是赚钱，而是赔钱，赔到什么程度，怎么样才能把损失降到最低，做好最坏的打算。即使在经营其间效益不理想，也不会轻易放弃，而是不断地从中找原因，摸索经验，如此坚持不懈的努力，成功是必然。

14. Just like running a business, the investment may yield little or no returns at the beginning. At this point, immature individuals tend to want to give up. Some may hold on a bit longer, while others may choose to quit in a very short time, unaware that giving up is the main reason for failure. Mature individuals, on the other hand, have already considered all aspects before making an investment. When doing business, our primary concern is not to make money, but to minimize losses. We think about how much we can lose and how to reduce losses to the minimum, and we make the worst-case scenario plans. Even if the business performance is not ideal during the operation, we will not give up easily. Instead, we continuously seek reasons and gain experience from it. With such persistent efforts, success is inevitable.

15. 接下来，独处的快乐可以从以下几个方面来理解：

15. Next, the joy of solitude can be understood from the following aspects:

16. 这个世界上谁也靠不住，除了你自己。

16. No one in this world can be relied upon except yourself.

17. 一个成熟的人一定是一个自律的人，他愿意改变自己的思考方式和行为模式。他愿意改掉自己的坏习惯，养成好习惯，让自己逐渐趋势于完善。时刻保持精神明亮、心理健康。成熟的人，严以律己宽待他人，常思己过不论人非，不消极不抱怨。因为他们懂得，生活是一面镜子，你如何待它，它便如何待你。消极和抱怨永远解决不了问题，只有积极才是真理。

17. A mature person is definitely a self-disciplined person who is willing to change their way of thinking and patterns of behavior. They are willing to get rid of their bad habits, develop good habits, and gradually tend towards perfection. They always maintain a bright spirit and mental health. A mature person disciplines themselves strictly and treats others leniently, often reflects on their own faults rather than faultfinding others, and does not become negative or complain. Because they understand that life is a mirror, and how you treat it is how it treats you. Negativity and complaining can never solve problems; only positivity is the truth.

18. 自我接纳和自我关爱：独处可以让成年人更多地关注自己的需求和情感，以实现自我接纳和自我关爱。在独处的时刻，人们可以更加真实地对待自己，不受外界评价或期望的影响，从而获得一种内心的满足和快乐。

18. Self-acceptance and self-love: Solitude allows adults to focus more on their own needs and emotions, thus achieving self-acceptance and self-love. During moments of solitude, people can treat themselves more authentically, free from the influence of external evaluations or expectations, thereby gaining an inner sense of fulfillment and happiness.

19. 总体而言，成熟的人，无论是在独处还是社交都能有较好的生活体验。他们能够找到自己和他人交往的边界，这让他们有能力关怀其他人，并且不会受到伤害，这样一种平衡的状态是健康而舒适的。

19. Generally speaking, mature individuals can have a good quality of life whether they are alone or in social settings. They are able to find the boundaries in their interactions with others, which enables them to care for others without being hurt. This balanced state is healthy and comfortable.

20. 放松和充电：生活中的压力和繁忙往往会让成年人感到疲惫和焦虑。独处可以成为一个恢复内心平静和放松身心的时刻。在这个过程中，成年人可以做一些喜欢的事情，如阅读、写作、绘画、听音乐、冥想等，以重拾内心的平衡。

20. Relaxation and Recharging: The pressures and busyness of life often leave adults feeling tired and anxious. Solitude can become a moment to restore inner peace and relax the body and mind. During this process, adults can engage in activities they enjoy, such as reading, writing, painting, listening to music, meditation, etc., to regain inner balance.

21. 有一段很治愈的话：“永远不要怪别人不帮你，也永远不要怪他人不关心你。活在世上，我们都是独立的个体，痛苦，难受，都得自己承受。没有人会在意你受了多少委屈，没人能够真正理解你，石头没砸在他脚上，他永远体会不到有多疼。”

21. There is a very healing saying: "Never blame others for not helping you, nor blame others for not caring about you. In this world, we are all independent individuals, and we must bear our own pain and discomfort. No one cares about how many grievances you have endured, no one can truly understand you, and unless the stone hits his foot, he will never understand how painful it is."

22. 有自己的目标和完善的计划。当你把精力放在自我的成长上，你就不再和别人比较，也不会在意别人的评价。

22. Have your own goals and a well-planned strategy. When you focus on your own growth, you no longer compare yourself to others and you don't care about others' opinions.

23. 永远不要讨好任何人，把所有的时间留给自己，每一个不曾起舞的日子，都是对生命的辜负。

23. Never please anyone at the expense of your own time, for every day that you don't dance is a day you are wasting your life.

24. 把精力和时间聚焦在自己身上，千方百计让自己强大起来，世界就会为你让开一条路。

24. Focus your energy and time on yourself and do everything in your power to become stronger. The world will make way for you.

25. 非常有力量的一段话：“世界上真正厉害的人就是，说起床就起床，说做就做，说玩就玩，说收心就收心，拿得起，放得下。

25. A very powerful statement: "The truly formidable people in the world are those who can get up as soon as they say they will, act as soon as they say they will, play as soon as they say they will, and focus as soon as they say they will. They can pick up and put down things with ease."

26. 做事情先考虑时间投入。关注精力分配，不在小事情上纠结。不再为促销浪费自己大量时间，会思考如何在有限的时间效益最大化。

26. Prioritize time investment when doing things. Focus on energy distribution and don't get stuck on trivial matters. No longer waste a lot of time on promotions, and think about how to maximize benefits within limited time.

27. 我们对世界的认识，都有着我们的局限和主观色彩，就像盲人摸象，有人认为大象是一根大柱子，有人认为是一把大扇子，有人认为是一面墙，因为每个人的局限性，决定了自己的认知边界。所以千万不要站在自己的立场上，指点别人的人生。

27. Our understanding of the world is all limited and subjective, just like the blind man feeling an elephant. Some people think an elephant is a big pillar, some think it's a big fan, and some think it's a wall, because each person's limitations determine their own boundaries of cognition. So, never stand on your own perspective to point out others' lives.

28. 规律作息，吃饭八分饱。坚持学习运动和工作。为了追求更深层次的欲望，去克制眼前的即时享受。

28. Maintain a regular routine, eat to eight parts full. Persist in studying, exercising, and working. To pursue deeper desires,克制 immediate enjoyment at hand.

29. 接受自己是一个普通人，适合自己的才是最好的。能用成长型思维，来审视自己的不足。学会扬长避短的发挥自己的优势。

29. Accept yourself as an ordinary person, and what suits you is the best. Use growth mindset to examine your shortcomings. Learn to capitalize on your strengths and minimize your weaknesses.

30. 人都是利益驱动的动物。你对别人有价值，别人就愿意关心你，共情你，支持你。你对别人没有价值，别人就不愿意在你身上花费任何时间和精力。每一个人都是势利眼，看人下菜碟，只是程度轻重的差别而已。我们要看透人性，然后接受人性，不跟这个世界较劲，默默提升自己和强大自己，不对任何人有任何期待。

30. Humans are all driven by self-interest. If you are valuable to others, they will be willing to care for you, empathize with you, and support you. If you have no value to others, they will not be willing to spend any time or effort on you. Everyone is a snob, looking down on others based on their status, the difference is just in the degree. We need to see through human nature, then accept it, not argue with this world, quietly improve and strengthen ourselves, and not have any expectations of anyone.

31. 生活中的许多烦恼，都来自想得太多而读书太少。书籍也许没有改变你的人生，但一定会改变你对人生的看法。

31. Many troubles in life come from overthinking and reading too little. Books may not change your life, but they will definitely change your perspective on life.

32. “不要随便评价别人，因为我们眼睛看到的是不完整的世界，用不完整的眼光去定义别人，只会显得自己很幼稚。”

32. "Do not easily judge others, because what we see with our eyes is an incomplete world. Defining others with an incomplete perspective only makes oneself look very immature."

33. 不要讨好冷漠，不要辜负热情。总是否定你的人，会限制你的成长。欲成大树，不与草争。将军有剑，不斩苍蝇。

33. Do not flatter the indifferent, and do not disappoint the热情. Those who always deny you will limit your growth. If you wish to grow into a great tree, do not compete with the grass. A general has a sword, but does not use it to chop flies.

34. 你无需讨好任何人，更无需委屈自己去迎合别人，不喜欢的人就离开，消耗自己的人就断交，讨厌的人就走开，过好自己的日子，依靠自己的力量，过自己想要的生活。

34. You don't need to please anyone, let alone humiliate yourself to cater to others. If you don't like someone, just leave; if someone is draining you, cut off contact; if someone is disliked, move away. Live your own life well, rely on your own strength, and live the life you want.

35. 内心的宁静：在独处的时刻，成年人可以远离噪音和干扰，享受内心的宁静。这让人感到平静、放松和安心。在这样的状态下，人们可以清晰地思考问题、整理思绪，并体验到属于自己的独特愉悦感。

35. Inner peace: In moments of solitude, adults can distance themselves from noise and distractions, enjoying the tranquility within. This brings a sense of calm, relaxation, and reassurance. In such a state, individuals can think clearly about problems, organize their thoughts, and experience a unique sense of joy that belongs to them.

36. 不评价，不多言，尊重别人的人生选择和生活方式，是我们对世界最大的善意。

36. Not to judge, not to speak too much, respecting others' choices in life and their lifestyles is the greatest kindness we can show to the world.

37. 乍看是一种自私和冷漠，其实是让我们保持彼此的边界感，不侵犯别人的生活，也不被别人所打扰，在别人的世界里顺其自然，在自己的世界里独善其身。

37. At first glance, it may seem like selfishness and indifference, but it is actually what keeps us aware of our personal boundaries, not intruding into others' lives, nor being disturbed by others, letting things be in others' worlds, and being self-righteous in our own world.

38. 深度思考和创造力的释放：独处给予成年人思考问题的时间和空间，让他们能够深入思考和分析。这种深度思考有助于启发创造力和创新思维，为个人的学习和工作带来更好的表现。

38. Deep thinking and the release of creativity: Solitude provides adults with the time and space to think about issues, allowing them to engage in deep thinking and analysis. This kind of deep thinking is conducive to sparking creativity and innovative thinking, bringing better performance to an individual's learning and work.

39. ​做没有做过的事情叫成长，做不愿意做的事情叫改变，做不敢做的事情叫突破。最可怕的事情就是一天到晚什么都不做，永远留给明天。”

39. Doing things that have never been done before is called growth, doing things that one does not want to do is called change, and doing things that one dares not to do is called breakthrough. The scariest thing is to do nothing all day long, leaving everything for tomorrow."

40. 一个人最好的社交自律，就是不评价，不期待，不讨好。

40. The best social self-discipline for a person is not to judge, not to expect, and not to please others.

41. 圈子不同，不必强融。社交只是锦上添花，不是雪中送炭。低质量的社交，不如高质量的独处。

41. Different circles do not require forced integration. Socializing is just a nice addition, not a lifesaver in a snowstorm. Low-quality socializing is not as good as high-quality solitude.

42. 不再逢人就诉说自己的苦难，与其抱怨，不如暗自用功。不再把情绪写在脸上，具备钝感力，不再情绪化。

42. No longer complain to everyone about one's own hardships; it is better to work hard in secret. No longer express emotions on one's face; develop a thick skin, and no longer be emotional.