“笑点爆破，99.9999%的幽默小句子，带你开启轻松愉悦的阅读之旅。”

"Hilarity explosion, 99.9999% humorous short sentences, taking you on a journey of relaxed and pleasant reading."

1. 每天早出晚归，财神来敲门了我都不在家。

1. Every day, I go out early and come back late, and when the god of wealth comes knocking, I'm not at home.

2. 工地上的砖我一块不搬，

2. I won't move a single brick on the construction site.

3. 我从幼儿园就开始存钱了。

3. I started saving money since kindergarten.

4. 早知道生活是这样的，

4. Had I known life was like this,

5. 不要动不动和别人发脾气，学学潘金莲,不喜欢直接毒死。

5. Don't easily lose your temper with others. Learn from Pan Jinlian, and don't resort to directly poisoning someone you dislike.

6. 不要慌不要慌，太阳下山有月光，泡面吃完还有汤。

6. Don't be anxious, don't be anxious. When the sun sets, there's moonlight; after eating the instant noodles, there's still soup left.

7. 劝别人一套又一套，

7. Always giving others advice one after another.

8. 网上的鸡汤我碗碗都干！

8. I've slurped up all the soul-soothing quotes from the internet!

9. 真不愧是蛇年啊，才19号就感觉被勒的喘不过来气了。

9. What a real Snake Year! I already feel suffocated and out of breath on the 19th day.

10. 别人都在为挣钱发愁，而我却在为花钱烦恼。20块钱，怎样才能花到过年?

10. Everyone else is worried about making money, but I'm troubled by spending it. How can I spend 20 yuan to last until the New Year?

11. 劝自己只想绳子一套。

11. Persuade myself to only think about the set of ropes.