人生自渡之道：苦中不怨，喜时不言，忍辱不辩。

The Path of Self-Redemption in Life: Do not complain in adversity, do not boast in joy, endure insult without defending.

1. 第一个原因：命苦的人，往往性格良善，所以不爱说话。

1. The first reason: People who have a hard life are often kind-hearted, so they don't like to talk much.

2. 人生实苦，惟有自渡。

2. Life is indeed bitter; only by oneself can one be saved.

3. 遇到委屈，不用辩解。沉默是无声的反抗，行动是最好的证明。

3. When faced with injustice, do not feel the need to explain. Silence is a silent protest, and action is the best proof.

4. 后来曾国藩不仅考上了进士，还做了汉人里最大的官。他用行动告诉了当年的老师：您老看走眼了。

4. Later, Zeng Guofan not only passed the imperial examination and became a jinshi, but also held the highest official position among the Han people. Through his actions, he told his teacher of the past: You were mistaken in your judgment.

5. 不与小人争高下，不同傻子论短长。懂你的人，不用争。不懂你的人，不必争。

5. Do not argue with the unscrupulous in terms of righteousness, nor debate with the foolish in terms of length. Those who understand you do not need to argue. Those who do not understand you do not need to argue.

6. 第四个原因：命苦的人，往往已经看破红尘，所以心如止水。

6. The fourth reason: People who suffer from a hard life often have seen through the vanity of the world, so their hearts are as still as water.

7. 在我们身边，我们常常会看到有些命苦的人，他们说话做事，都比较谨慎，有的甚至显得有些小心翼翼的。这样的人，往往经历了许多困难，许多打击，在自我感知上，就变得有些信心不足，甚至会感到有些卑微，有些底层。在这样的一种心态下，他们往往不喜欢和周围的人接触，怕再次受到伤害。而对身边的保持沉默，是他们抵抗外界压力的一种外在形式，不爱说话，就是他们显著的一种特征的了。

7. Around us, we often see some people who are unfortunately destined. They speak and act cautiously, and some even seem overly careful. Such people have often experienced many difficulties and setbacks. In terms of self-perception, they may become somewhat lacking in confidence and even feel somewhat humble and from the bottom. In such a mindset, they often prefer not to interact with people around them, fearing further hurt. Remaining silent around them is an outward form of their resistance to external pressure, and not being talkative is a distinct characteristic of theirs.

8. 这些命苦的人，是不是也和老婆婆一样，变得不爱说话呢？是啊，命苦的人，往往都有这样一个显著特征：不爱说话！而只有经历过的人，才会明白。其实，每一个人，都会经历世间的种种苦和难，但是，只要我们懂得用正确的心态去化解，我们就一定能够走出自己心灵的禁锢，回归正常的生活中来的。

8. Are these unfortunate people also like the old woman, becoming reluctant to speak? Indeed, the unfortunate often have a distinct trait: they are reluctant to speak! And only those who have experienced it can understand. In fact, everyone will go through various hardships and difficulties in the world. However, as long as we learn to resolve them with the right mindset, we will definitely be able to break free from the shackles of our own minds and return to a normal life.

9. 喜乐性：佛教是个给人欢喜的宗教，佛陀的慈悲教义就是为了要解决众生的痛苦，给予众生快乐。

9. Joyfulness: Buddhism is a religion that brings joy to people. The compassionate teachings of the Buddha are to alleviate the suffering of sentient beings and to bring them happiness.

10. 没有唉声叹气，没有牢骚满天，没有在内心深处煎熬伤感。收入微薄，他就开荒种地，还把铜钱串起来挂在房梁上，精打细算着花。买不起牛羊肉，就买市场上剩下的生猪肉，各种花样做着吃，还发明了“东坡肉”。

10. Without sighing or complaining, without deep internal suffering. With a meager income, he cleared land for farming and even strung up copper coins to hang on the beam of his house, meticulously calculating how to spend. Unable to afford beef and mutton, he bought the leftover raw pork from the market, cooked it in various ways, and even invented "Dongpo Braised Pork."

11. 人间性：佛陀不是来无影，去无踪的神仙，也不是玄想出来的上帝。佛陀的一切都具有人间的性格。他和我们一样，有父母，有家庭，有生活，而在人间的生活中，表现他慈悲、戒行、般若等超越人间的智慧，所以他是人间性的佛陀。

11. Humanness: The Buddha is not a deity that appears and disappears without a trace, nor is He an imaginary god. Everything about the Buddha possesses a human character. Like us, He has parents, a family, and a life. In the midst of human life, He manifests His compassion, moral conduct, wisdom, and other transcendent qualities, which is why He is the Buddha of humanness.

12. 生活苦，但只要心态不苦，照样可以把日子过成诗。

12. Life is hard, but as long as one's mindset is not bitter, life can still be lived like a poem.

13. 第三个原因：命苦的人，往往感到卑微底层，就越发沉默。

13. The third reason: People who are命苦 (bitterly unfortunate) often feel humble and lowly, and therefore become even more silent.

14. 寒山问：“世人欺我,谤我,辱我,笑我,轻我,贱我,我当如何处之? ”

14. Cold Mountain asked, "If people mock me, defame me, insult me, laugh at me, belittle me, and degrade me, how should I deal with it?"

15. 人生最好的自渡，就是苦而不怨，喜而不言，忍辱不辨。

15. The best way to save oneself in life is to endure hardship without complaint, to be joyful without boasting, and to bear insult without contention.

16. 遇到苦难，不去抱怨。扛过去，守得云开见月明。

16. When facing hardship, do not complain. Bear it through and you will see the moon shining through the clouds.

17. 发现朋友凋零后，曾国藩在日记里反思自己的言行：“戒多言，不炫耀，不张扬，低调做人。”

17. After finding his friend withered away, Zeng Guofan reflected on his own words and actions in his diary: "Be cautious of excessive talk, do not show off, do not张扬, and lead a low-profile life."

18. 面对委屈和误解，沉默就是无声的抗议。何必徒惹口舌之争，耗费自己的精力和时间。

18. Faced with grievances and misunderstandings, silence is a silent protest. Why waste one's energy and time on futile verbal disputes?

19. 余生，苦而不怨，喜而不言，受辱不辩，做更好的自己。

19. In the remaining years, endure hardship without complaint, experience joy without boasting, endure insults without defending, and strive to become a better version of oneself.

20. 朋友们都说，命苦的人，是经历了许多世事沧桑，受到了许多红尘悲苦的人。这样的人，往往在情感上，受到过打击，在他们心灵的世界里，很多痛苦，已经放下；经历过的故事，已经湮灭；在想起那个曾经深深爱过的人，也已经不再在心中掀起波澜。于是，他们就变得看破红尘，变得心如止水，从而以沉默不语的方式，行走在内心世界的与世无争上了。

20. Friends all say that those who have a hard life are people who have experienced many vicissitudes of life and suffered much suffering in the world of passions. Such people often have been struck down emotionally, and many of the pains in their spiritual world have already been let go; the stories they have experienced have already faded away; and when they recall the person they once deeply loved, it no longer stirs any waves in their hearts. Thus, they become indifferent to the world of passions, their hearts like still waters, and they walk through the inner world without contention in a silent manner.

21. 一个有修养、有智慧、有作为的人，他的内心是笃定从容的，不会炫耀自己。而没有见识的俗人，往往通过骄纵显摆，以掩饰内心的虚弱。

21. A person of cultivation, wisdom, and accomplishment is composed and serene within, never boasting. In contrast, the unenlightened and vulgar often resort to arrogance and showiness to cover up their inner weakness.

22. 拾得答；“只是忍他、让他、由他、避他、耐他、敬他、不要理他，再待几年，你且看他。”

22. She answered, "Just endure him, let him be, leave him alone, avoid him, bear with him, respect him, don't pay any attention to him. Wait a few more years, and then you'll see."

23. 曾国藩年少时很笨，很多功课做不好。一次老师非常生气，骂他道：“你这个笨样，如果将来能考上进士，我就给你背伞去。”这番话让一向自尊心很强的曾国藩无地自容，但他没有辩驳，而是更加努力地读书。既然笨，那就笨鸟先飞，一定要做出一个样子，证明给老师看。

23. Zeng Guofan was very笨 when he was young and often failed in his studies. One time, his teacher became extremely angry and scolded him, saying, "You are so dumb, if you can pass the imperial examination in the future, I will carry an umbrella for you." These words embarrassed Zeng Guofan, who always had a strong sense of pride, but instead of arguing, he worked even harder at his studies. Since he was considered dumb, he thought, "Even if I am a dumb bird, I will fly first," and he was determined to set an example to prove to his teacher.

24. 没有谁的人生是容易的。只有做自己的摆渡人，才能超脱苦难，抵达想要的精彩。

24. No one's life is easy. Only by becoming one's own ferryman can one transcend suffering and reach the desired brilliance.

25. 命苦的人，因为经历了许多世事的沧桑，他们在性格上，往往会趋向良善。而一个良善的人，他们更喜欢埋头做事，低头做人。在为人处世中，他们内心善良，行事低调，不喜欢打扰他人，更不喜欢求人做事。这样的人，往往表现得比较安静，比较沉默，而曾经有过的悲凉故事，更让他们觉得很多话说了也没有用。所以，他们选择了沉默，选择了低调，也就变得不爱说话的了。

25. People who have suffered hard lives, having experienced many vicissitudes of the world, tend to become kind-hearted in character. A kind-hearted person prefers to immerse themselves in their work and conduct themselves humbly. In their interactions with others, they are inherently kind and modest,不喜欢 disturbing others and even less so in asking others to do favors. Such individuals often appear more quiet and reserved. The sorrowful stories they have experienced in the past make them feel that there is little point in saying many things. Therefore, they choose silence and modesty, and thus become less talkative.

26. 喜而不言，是为他人着想的善良，更是一种笃定的修养。

26. To keep joy to oneself and not speak of it is a kind act of considering others, and it is also a firm cultivation of one's character.

27. 殊不知，他的很多好友，要么仕途不顺，心思抑郁；要么根本没考上进士，还是布衣之身。每次曾国藩炫耀的时候，朋友们都十分难堪，慢慢疏远了他。

27. Little did he know that many of his close friends were either facing setbacks in their careers, feeling depressed in mind, or had not passed the imperial examinations at all, still dressed in commoner attire. Each time Zeng Guofan bragged, his friends felt very embarrassed, and gradually distanced themselves from him.

28. 面对生活的困苦，抱怨是本能，不抱怨是能力。忍住苦难，熬过低谷，自然能看到人生的七彩阳光。

28. Facing the hardships of life, complaining is an instinct, while not complaining is a skill. Enduring hardship and enduring the low points, you will naturally see the colorful sunshine of life.

29. 遇到喜事，内心高兴，是好事。但如果不分场合，逢人就讲，也不考虑听者的情况，甚至故意显摆，就是不会看眉眼高低的弱智行为。

29. Being happy on festive occasions is a good thing. However, if one does not consider the situation or the listener's condition and talks to everyone without discrimination, even going so far as to show off deliberately, it is an unintelligent behavior that does not take into account the nuances of social cues.

30. 忍辱不辨，是一种格局。

30. Enduring insult without retaliation is a form of character.

31. 老婆婆是一个受过大苦的人，俗话说：人至苦，则无言，一个受过大苦的人，她内心的痛苦，是旁人难以感受到的。一个人有苦说出来，身边的人却不以为然，渐渐地，这些受过大苦的人，就觉得话多说无益，甚至还会给别人带来厌恶感。所以，这些命苦的人，特别是像老婆婆这样受过大苦的人，自然就封闭起来自己的心扉，不再对外人倾述自己内心的痛苦的了，而不说话，也是一种无奈之举。

31. The old woman has suffered greatly, as the saying goes: "When a person has endured great suffering, they have nothing to say." The pain within a person who has suffered greatly is something that others cannot easily feel. When a person has something to complain about, those around them may not take it seriously. Gradually, these people who have endured great suffering come to feel that saying too much is of no benefit, and even that it might bring others a sense of aversion. Therefore, these people who have had a hard life, especially those like the old woman who have suffered greatly, naturally close their hearts to the outside world and no longer share their inner pain with strangers. Not speaking up is also a form of helplessness.

32. 人类的悲欢并不相通。你把苦喊出来，别人未必懂，甚至还会怪你不坚强。

32. The joys and sorrows of humans are not universally shared. When you cry out your pain, others may not understand, and even might blame you for not being strong enough.

33. 佛家有一场十分经典的问答：

33. The Buddhist teachings contain a very classic dialogue:

34. 生活性：佛陀所发展的佛教，非常重视生活，对我们生活中的衣食住行，乃至行住坐卧，处处都有教导，处处都有指示。甚至对于家庭、眷属的关系，参与社会、国家的活动，都有明确的指示。

34. Practicality: The Buddhism developed by the Buddha places a great emphasis on everyday life. It provides guidance and instructions for every aspect of our lives, from the basics of clothing, food, shelter, and transportation, to our daily activities of walking, standing, sitting, and lying down. Even in matters of family and kinship relationships, as well as participating in social and national activities, there are clear instructions provided.

35. 其实，这些见解，归纳起来，不外就是这几个原因，而在多年以前，我在山区工作的时候，我从一位寡居37年的老婆婆嘴里，就知道了这些答案。多年前，我在一个山区工作。在我们工作的地方，有一处小小的木屋，木屋里面，住着一位满头白发的老婆婆。有人告诉我，这个老婆婆很早就失去了老公和孩子，已经整整寡居37年了。

35. In fact, these insights, summed up, can be attributed to just a few reasons, and many years ago, when I was working in the mountains, I learned these answers from an elderly woman who had been a widow for 37 years. Years ago, I worked in a mountainous area. In the place where we worked, there was a small wooden cabin, inside which lived an elderly woman with a head full of white hair. Someone told me that this elderly woman had lost her husband and children at a young age and had been a widow for a full 37 years.

36. 一次我办事晚归，借着皎洁的月色，我经过老婆婆爬满了蔷薇花的屋子前。突然，我听到屋子里传来“嘤嘤嘤”的哭泣声，我知道，这是老婆婆在哭泣了。一个人，孤零零地住在这间木屋子，整整37年，没有人知道她内心的孤独，她的痛苦，即使外人知道了，那又有什么用呢？一个人，沉默寡言了37年，那她要忍受多么沉重的寂寞啊，在荒无人烟的心灵世界上，一个人的踽踽独行，该是多么的孤寂难熬啊。想到这，我不禁长长地发出一声叹息。第二天，我和同事，买了一些粮油，去看望老婆婆。和老婆婆断断续续地沟通中，和同事的介绍中，我知道老人家的不爱说话的原因。

36. Once, after a late return from work, under the bright moonlight, I passed by an old woman's house covered with rose bushes. Suddenly, I heard a "wee wee wee" crying sound coming from inside the house. I knew, it was the old woman crying. Alone in this wooden house, she has lived for 37 years, with no one knowing her inner loneliness, her suffering. Even if others knew, what good would it do? For 37 years, she has been silent and reserved, how heavy must the loneliness be she has to endure, in the desolate world of the soul, the loneliness of a solitary walk must be incredibly hard to bear. Thinking of this, I couldn't help but let out a long sigh. The next day, along with my colleague, I bought some grain and oil, to visit the old woman. Through our intermittent communication and my colleague's introduction, I learned the reason why the elderly woman is not talkative.

37. 佛教认为人是稀有的。这是非常罕见的所有众生获得个人机会，如“盲目海龟”在无尽轮回。对于佛法来说，没有八个时间，十个令人满意。不管我们是为了报答父母的养育，还是为了追求世间的幸福生活，还是为了学习佛教，为了从世间获得解放，我们都必须依靠这个非常珍贵的人。

37. Buddhism believes that humans are rare. It is a very rare opportunity for all sentient beings to obtain an individual chance, such as the "blind sea turtle" in the endless cycle of rebirth. For the Dharma, there are no eight times or ten satisfactory ones. Whether we are seeking to repay our parents for their nurturing, to pursue a happy life in the world, to study Buddhism, or to be liberated from the world, we must rely on this very precious human being.

38. 利他性：佛陀降生这个世界，完全是为了“示教利喜”，为了教化众生，为了给予众生利益，以利他为本怀。

38. Altruism: The Buddha was born into this world solely for the purpose of "demonstrating, teaching, and bringing joy," to educate all sentient beings, to bestow benefits upon them, with the altruistic intention at its core.

39. 《论语》说：君子泰而不骄，小人骄而不泰。

39. The Analects says: A gentleman is composed and not proud, while a small man is proud and not composed.

40. 苏东坡少年得志，意气风发，却在生命的巅峰时刻蒙冤入狱，后来贬官黄州，放逐荒野。亲戚朋友断绝往来，地方官员时时监视，当地语言风俗不通，生活条件十分清苦，这些常人承受不了的苦难，苏东坡照单全收，坦然待之。

40. Su Dongpo, in his youth, achieved great success and was full of confidence and spirit. However, at the peak of his life, he was unjustly imprisoned, and later was demoted and exiled to Huangzhou, living in the wilderness. His relatives and friends cut off all contacts with him, local officials constantly monitored him, he was unfamiliar with the local language and customs, and his living conditions were extremely poor. These hardships that ordinary people could not bear were fully accepted by Su Dongpo, and he dealt with them calmly.

41. 曾国藩考中进士后，“十年九迁”，十年之内升了九次官，做到了副部级的“吏部侍郎”，前途光明，大红大紫。他志得意满，喜上眉梢，逢人就高谈做官之道，成功哲学，俨然官场教父。

41. After Zeng Guofan passed the imperial examination and became a jinshi, he "was promoted nine times in ten years," advancing to nine different posts within a decade. He reached the position of "Minister of Personnel," a sub-ministerial level, and his prospects were bright, becoming very famous and popular. He was elated, with joy on his face, and he would talk to anyone about the ways to become an official, his philosophy of success, appearing like a patriarch of the bureaucracy.

42. 遇到喜事，不要炫耀。照顾别人的感受，不给自己拉仇树敌。

42. When encountering joyous events, do not show off. Take care of others' feelings and do not create enemies for yourself.

43. 第二个原因：命苦的人，旁边人难以感受，索性就不说出来。

43. The second reason: The plight of those who suffer a hard life is difficult for others to feel, so they prefer not to say it out loud.

44. 不用负能量损耗自己，不因炫耀而给自己设障，不要受点委屈就发作。照看好生命，安顿好灵魂，在未来的路上遇见更好的自己。

44. Do not waste yourself with negative energy, do not set obstacles for yourself through showing off, and do not burst into anger at the slightest injustice. Take care of your life, settle your soul, and meet a better version of yourself on the road ahead.

45. 为人处世，谁都会受些委屈和误解，不要急着辩驳，做好自己的事，用行动证明自己。

45. In dealing with others, everyone will face some injustices and misunderstandings. Don't rush to argue; do your own things well and prove yourself through actions.