沉默是金：成年人的最佳处世智慧

Silence is gold: the best wisdom for adults to deal with the world.

1. 做人，要有大智若愚的智慧，为人处世，睁一只眼，闭一只眼，不言人私，不问是非。管住自己的嘴，守好自己心，就绝不会吃亏上当。

1. As a person, one should possess the wisdom of "great intelligence but appearing foolish." In dealing with others, one should keep one eye open and one eye closed, not speaking of others' private matters and not asking about trivialities. By controlling one's own mouth and protecting one's heart, one will never be taken advantage of or deceived.

2. 我们要做的就是过好眼前和当下，把自己的人生路走稳走好，努力地活着。

2. What we need to do is to live well in the present and the here and now, walk the path of our lives steadily and well, and strive to live hard.

3. 人生在世，不如意事常八九。遇到不如意不成心的事，我们就会心中烦躁，此时最易发怒。

3. In life, it is often the case that nine out of ten things are not as we wish. When encountering things that are not to our liking and are unintentional, we tend to feel restless in our hearts, and it is at such times that we are most prone to anger.

4. 那人就无话可说了。

4. That person had nothing to say.

5. 有人问孔子，如何才能成就一番事业。孔子说了两个方面，一是多看，二是多听，有疑问的地方保留自己的意见，不要随意辩驳和行动。谨言慎行，才能行稳致远。

5. Someone asked Confucius how to accomplish a great career. Confucius mentioned two aspects: first, to see more; second, to listen more. When in doubt, hold your own opinions, and do not argue or act impulsively. Speak and act cautiously to achieve stability and long-term success.

6. 说人闲话， 就是在不了解真实情况下妄加判断，从而对他人的为人和生活指指点点 。

6. Gossiping about others is to make arbitrary judgments without understanding the true situation, thereby pointing fingers at their character and life.

7. 所以，说话之前要考虑到所处的说话环境，顾及他人的感受。尤其是不要打听别人的隐私，保持距离，那是个人的尊严。

7. Therefore, before speaking, one should consider the speaking environment and take into account others' feelings. Especially, do not pry into others' privacy; maintain a distance, as that is a matter of personal dignity.

8. 杨绛和钱钟书在去英国的邮轮上，因为一个英语发音发生争论。杨绛说钱钟书的发音掺杂地方口音，不纯正。钱钟书不服，双方为此争得面红耳赤，气急败坏。最后，找来一位洋人做裁判，明确了是钱钟书的问题，双方才罢休。

8. On their voyage to Britain, Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu had a dispute over an English pronunciation. Yang Jiang claimed that Qian Zhongshu's pronunciation was contaminated with local accents and not pure. Qian Zhongshu was不服, and both of them argued fiercely, their faces red and their tempers flaring. In the end, they found a foreigner to act as a judge, who confirmed that it was Qian Zhongshu's problem, and only then did they calm down.

9. 杨绛说：“我和谁都不争，和谁争我都不屑。安静地烤着生命之火取暖，火萎了，我也该走了。”

9. Yang Jiang said, "I don't quarrel with anyone, and I don't feel like arguing with anyone either. Quietly warming myself by the fire of life, when the fire wanes, it's time for me to leave as well."

10. 一个人的隐私只是他个人的事，这些东西是我们私密生活的一部分。只有学会尊重他人的隐私，这样别人才会觉得你是一个懂礼貌、有涵养的人。

10. One's privacy is merely a personal matter, and these things are a part of our private lives. Only by learning to respect others' privacy can you be perceived as a polite and well-mannered person.

11. 胡乱说话，不经大脑，很容易造成不可挽回的后果，是心智不成熟的表现。

11. Talking recklessly without thinking can easily lead to irreversible consequences, which is a manifestation of immature mental development.

12. 有人兴奋地要告诉苏格拉底一个消息，被他制止了。他说，你的话用三个筛子筛过了吗？第一个筛子，你要说的话确定真实吗？第二个筛子，你要说的话有用吗？第三个筛子，它是善意的吗？

12. Someone excitedly wanted to tell Socrates a piece of news, but he stopped him. He said, "Have you sifted your words through three sieves? The first sieve, is what you are about to say true? The second sieve, is it useful? The third sieve, is it kind?"

13. 不经思考，缺乏理性，不负责任的话，就像随处乱刺的利剑，容易刺伤别人，最终伤害自己。

13. Words without thought, lacking in reason, and irresponsible, are like a sharp sword that is carelessly thrust about, easily wounding others and ultimately harming oneself.

14. 知人不评人，得理且饶人。生活不需要唇枪舌剑，说话没必要刀光剑影，避免争论，让人三分，是一种素养和智慧。

14. Know people but do not criticize them; if you have the right, be lenient. Life does not require sharp-tongued disputes; there is no need for swordplay in speech. Avoiding arguments and giving others three points is a virtue and wisdom.

15. 认清自己的位置和能力，保持低调，不说狂语，既是对他人的尊重，也是对自我认知的清醒。

15. Recognize one's own position and abilities, maintain a low profile, do not speak extravagantly. This is not only a sign of respect for others but also a clear awareness of self-knowledge.

16. 卡耐基说：“赢得争论的唯一方式，就是避免争论。”争论是一种内耗，除了虚费精力，别无益处。

16. Carnegie said, "The only way to win an argument is to avoid it." An argument is a form of internal consumption; it serves no other purpose except to waste energy.

17. 《夜航船》中，一位僧人和秀才坐船同行。秀才滔滔不绝地炫耀学问，旁征博引，谈古论今。僧人心生敬畏，蜷缩着脚，侧耳聆听。

17. In the book "Night Ferry," a monk and a scholar were traveling together by boat. The scholar talked non-stop about his knowledge, citing examples from both ancient and modern times. The monk felt awe-struck, curled his feet up, and listened attentively with his ears tilted.

18. 江山是打出来的，不是谈出来的。幸福是干出来的，不是说出来的。不要在语言上争高低，在舌头上论输赢。赢了伤和气，输了毁心情。

18. A kingdom is won through battles, not through talks. Happiness is achieved through action, not through words. Do not argue over who is superior in language or debate who wins on the tip of the tongue. Winning may hurt friendships, while losing may ruin your mood.

19. 一个内心充盈，对自己有约束感的人，不会用语言上逞强。而是谨慎说话，寡言少语，笃定自己的内心，安静地经营自己的人生。

19. A person who is inwardly rich and has a sense of self-discipline will not show off with words. Instead, they speak cautiously, sparingly, firmly grounded in their inner self, and quietly manage their own life.

20. 后来，孔融又说离经叛道的话。他说父母和子女其实没有什么关系。对父亲而言，子女不过是他欲望的产物。对母亲而言，就像装东西的瓶子，东西出来了，和瓶子也就为什么关系了。

20. Later, Kong Rong again said unconventional things. He said that parents and children actually have no real relationship. To the father, children are merely the product of his desires. To the mother, she is like a container for holding things; once the things are out, there is no longer any relationship with the container.

21. 耳不闻人之非，目不视人之短，口不言人之过。

21. Do not listen to others' faults, do not look at others' shortcomings, and do not speak of others' mistakes.

22. 守嘴是福，不多说，不多问。和自己没有半点关系的事情，最好装作什么都不知道，不要问来问去别多嘴。如果未经过他人允许就去触碰这些话题，是一种很不礼貌的行为。

22. Keeping one's mouth shut is a blessing; do not talk too much or ask too many questions. About things that have nothing to do with you, it is best to pretend you know nothing and do not ask around or say too much. It is very impolite to touch on these topics without the other person's permission.

23. 假如一味的在意别人的评价，盲目地让自己活在别人的目光里，你会活得很疲惫。

23. If you excessively concern yourself with others' opinions and blindly live under the gaze of others, you will live a very exhausted life.

24. 俗话说：“饭可以乱吃，话不可乱讲。”

24. As the saying goes, "You can eat food carelessly, but you cannot speak words carelessly."

25. 另外，不好的话，也要好好说。很多时候，同样的事情，不同说话方式，会有截然不同的结果。说的好，让人如沐春风，说不好，就会让人敬而远之。

25. Moreover, when things are not going well, they should still be expressed in a good manner. Often, the same situation can lead to drastically different outcomes depending on how it is spoken. Saying it well can make people feel as if they are bathed in spring breeze, but saying it poorly can make others keep their distance.

26. 毕竟每个人都有自己的路要走，人活着，不要太在意别人的眼光，，勇敢的追求自己想要的生活，这才是生活的大智慧。

26. After all, everyone has their own path to walk. While living, don't overly concern yourself with others' opinions. Be brave in pursuing the life you want, for this is the great wisdom of life.

27. 毕竟人无信不立。 言而有信，才能真心换真心 。

27. After all, a person cannot stand without trust. Only by being true to one's word can one truly exchange hearts for hearts.

28. 看过这样一则视频，说周总理在接待外宾时，一位服务生不小心犯了一个错误，结果周总理当场发怒批评了她，不过事后周先生意识到自己的错误，特意向那位服务生道歉，承认自己的态度错误。

28. I watched a video that said Premier Zhou was receiving foreign guests when a waiter accidentally made a mistake. As a result, Premier Zhou criticized her on the spot. However, after the incident, Mr. Zhou realized his own mistake and specially apologized to the waiter, acknowledging his own attitude was wrong.

29. 知乎上有个问题，与人交往，什么品质最加分。

29. There's a question on Zhihu: When it comes to interacting with people, which quality is the most加分?

30. 然而，你的怒言忿语，并不能解决问题，只会让问题打上死结。

30. However, your angry words and harsh remarks will not solve the problem; they will only tie the issue in a dead end.

31. 所以， 在与人相处时，就要戒丧言，而要戒丧言，首先就要让自己的心充满阳光，修口德其实也是修心。

31. Therefore, when interacting with others, one should avoid speaking in a melancholic manner. To do so, one must first fill one's heart with sunshine; cultivating good oral manners is actually cultivating one's heart.

32. 老话说：多言数穷，不如守中。水深不语，人稳不言。

32. As the old saying goes: It's better to keep silent than to talk too much. The deeper the water, the less it speaks; the steadier the person, the less they talk.

33. 与人交往，是是非非说不清，道不明。有些事你不用去刨根问底，问多了只会自找无趣，也不会懂得真正的答案。

33. Interacting with people, it's hard to distinguish right from wrong, and it's not easy to explain. Some things you don't need to dig deep and ask questions; asking too much will only make yourself boring, and it won't help you understand the real answer.

34. 这样的人在人群中，就像嗡嗡叫的苍蝇，让人心生厌烦，也没有人愿意与这类人相处。

34. Such a person in a crowd is like a buzzing fly, annoying to everyone and no one wants to associate with this kind of individual.

35. 三国时的孔融，是建安七子之一，让梨的故事更是传为美谈。然而，他却是一个因乱讲话而招致横祸的人。

35. Kong Rong from the Three Kingdoms period was one of the Seven Sages of the Jian'an era, and the story of him giving his pear is well-known as a beautiful tale. However, he was also a person who attracted misfortune due to his loose talk.

36. 不要太在乎别人的眼光，不然你会迷失自己。真正的幸福不是活成别人那样，而是能够按照自己的意愿去生活。

36. Don't overly care about what others think; otherwise, you might lose yourself. True happiness is not living like others, but being able to live according to your own wishes.

37. 僧人失望地笑笑，说：“既如此，且容老僧伸伸脚吧。”

37. The monk smiled dejectedly and said, "Since that is the case, then allow the old monk to stretch his legs, shall we?"

38. 说话本就是一场修行，你的语言里，藏着的都是你为人处世的态度。

38. Speaking is itself a form of cultivation; your language hides the attitudes with which you deal with others in the world.

39. 《垃圾车法则》中这样说道：许多人就像垃圾车，他们满载着怨气、焦虑、挫败等负面情绪，待到车满时，他们就会随处倾倒，如果你给予他们机会，他们就会把这些负面情绪的垃圾倒在你身上，而所谓的垃圾，就是丧言丧语。

39. The "Garbage Truck Rule" states: Many people are like garbage trucks, loaded with negative emotions such as resentment, anxiety, and frustration. When the truck is full, they dump it everywhere. If you give them the opportunity, they will dump these negative emotions on you, and the so-called garbage is negative remarks and complaints.

40. 总之，会说话的人，既能巧妙地表达自己的想法，又能让人愉快地接受，让人与人之间的交流，进入一个良性循环的状态。把话说到别人心窝里，是一个人的修养，既表现了一个人的智慧，又彰显了一个人的格局。为人处世，心蜜口也要甜，这样才能温暖他人，照亮自己。

40. In summary, a person who knows how to speak can skillfully express their thoughts and make others happy to accept them, leading to a positive cycle in interpersonal communication. Being able to say things that resonate with others' hearts is a sign of a person's cultivation. It not only demonstrates one's wisdom but also shows one's breadth of character. In dealing with others, one should be sweet both in heart and mouth, so as to warm others and enlighten oneself.

41. 病从口入，祸从口出。

41. Sickness comes from the mouth, and disaster comes from the tongue.

42. 比如，看到别人找了一份好工作，就说别人一定是托了关系走后门。

42. For example, if someone finds a good job, people might say that they must have used connections or backdoor methods to get it.

43. 不能接受别人的观点，可以委婉地指出来，但点到为止，不要多费唇舌。如果别人滔滔争辩，就不要接话茬。

43. If you cannot accept someone else's opinion, you can tactfully point it out, but just make the point and don't waste too much time talking. If the other person starts a heated argument, don't pick up the thread.

44. 我们从呀呀学语到流利表达基本需要三年，这是我们的本能，但是从能说话到会说话，我们有时候要学习一生，会说话是一种人的高级修养。会说话，不是巧言令色，舌绽莲花，而是心里装着别人，会考虑别人的处境和感受，在说与不说之间，透露出品行和教养，体贴和细心。

44. It takes us about three years from babbling to fluent expression, which is our instinct. However, from being able to speak to being able to speak well, we sometimes have to learn throughout our lives. Being able to speak well is a sign of a person's advanced修养. Being able to speak well is not about using clever words or eloquent expressions, but rather about having others in mind, considering their circumstances and feelings. It is about revealing one's character and upbringing, as well as kindness and meticulousness, in the balance between speaking and not speaking.

45. 人生这一辈子，其实过得真的挺不容易的，不管你是谁，都是有不少烦恼的。

45. In this lifetime, life is actually quite difficult, no matter who you are, everyone has a fair share of troubles.

46. 事后，杨绛非常后悔，她说，争论是最无意义的事，只会疏远关系，伤害感情。

46. Afterwards, Yang Jiang felt very regretful, saying that argument is the most meaningless thing, which only distances relationships and hurts feelings.

47. 我们常听人说，沉默是金，真正的用意不是无原则的什么事都沉默，而是看破不说破，说话谨慎，给人留有余地，尊重他人，顾及他人感受，让彼此都舒服的处世智慧。口无遮拦必引来是非祸患。沉默是金，是一份恰到好处的分寸感，是人生阅历和涵养的体现，更是能够站在对方的角度考虑的处世智慧。

47. We often hear people say that silence is golden, but the true meaning is not to be silent about everything without principle. It is about seeing through but not saying, speaking cautiously, leaving room for others, respecting them, considering their feelings, and demonstrating wisdom in dealing with others in a way that makes everyone comfortable. Speaking without restraint will certainly bring trouble and misfortune. Silence is golden, which is a well-measured sense of propriety, a reflection of life experience and cultivation, and also a wisdom in dealing with others by considering the perspective of others.

48. 多说无益，沉默是金。

48. More talk is of no benefit; silence is gold.

49. 判断一个男人是不是真的爱你，用心感受比直接提问来得更深刻。

49. To determine whether a man truly loves you, feeling with your heart is more profound than asking directly.

50. 水因善下终成海，山不争高自成峰。

50. Water, due to its tendency to flow downwards, eventually becomes the sea; mountains, not striving for height, naturally form peaks.

51. 曾国藩说：“天下古今之才人，皆以一个傲字致败。”

51. Zeng Guofan said, "All talented individuals throughout history have all fallen due to a single proud character."

52. 然而，这世上没有不透风的墙，背后说人闲话，说多了总会让人知道，这样就会让自己与他人产生矛盾，甚至给自己招致祸端。

52. However, there is no such thing as a wall that lets no wind pass through. If you talk behind someone's back too much, it will eventually be known, and this may lead to conflicts between yourself and others, or even bring misfortune upon yourself.