在纷繁复杂的社会关系中，探寻人与人之间真实而深刻的联结，是构建和谐人际关系的基石。本文将围绕“建立有效人际关系：真正受害的人的共同秘密”这一主题展开，旨在揭示人际互动中那些鲜为人知的奥秘，以期帮助读者在人际交往中找到共鸣与和谐。

Amidst the complex and intricate social relationships, exploring the real and profound connections between people is the cornerstone of building harmonious interpersonal relationships. This article will focus on the theme "Establishing Effective Interpersonal Relationships: The Common Secret of Those Who Have Really Suffered," aiming to unveil the lesser-known mysteries in interpersonal interactions, with the hope of helping readers find resonance and harmony in their social interactions.

1. 当你去调停矛盾双方的时候，得先想一想，我有没有能力帮他们解决这个问题。

1. When you go to mediate between the conflicting parties, you should first think about whether I have the ability to help them solve this problem.

2. 我们也不需要让自己成为什么伟人，但请一定不要做一个被人讨厌的人。

2. We also don't need to become someone great, but please make sure not to be someone that people dislike.

3. 学会走向这个世界，这个世界才会拥抱你。

3. Learn to approach this world, and this world will embrace you in return.

4. 如果你不跟别人打交道，不建立自己的人际关系，那么，就没有人认识你，理解你，你也得不到别人的鲜花和掌声。

4. If you do not interact with others and build your own interpersonal relationships, then no one will get to know you or understand you, and you will not receive others' flowers and applause.

5. 但争论双方往往不干了，“你算哪根葱，你凭什么这么说我们！”好心被当成了驴肝肺。

5. However, both sides of the argument often refuse to accept it, "Who do you think you are, to say such things about us!" The kindness was taken for granted and turned into a cruel joke.

6. 他们找到了小芳来当裁判，小芳推了推在鼻梁上的眼睛，开始行使裁判的职责。

6. They found Xiao Fang to act as the referee, and Xiao Fang pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose before beginning to exercise her duties as a referee.

7. 同时要懂得，唯人所用，用人以长。百花才能点缀春天，任何一种的明媚灿烂都代表不了整体的所有。

7. At the same time, one should understand that people should be used according to their abilities, and talents should be utilized according to their strengths. Just as various flowers can adorn the spring, no single type of bright and brilliant flower can represent the entirety.

8. 这是因为比赛规定了，就必须听裁判的。谁不听裁判的，谁就不能参加比赛。

8. This is because the rules of the competition stipulate that one must listen to the referee. Anyone who does not listen to the referee is not allowed to participate in the competition.

9. 战士很生气，男人怎么能打女人呢，就算是打老婆也不行。于是上前把这个渣男暴打了一顿。但他没想到渣男的老婆并不领情。

9. The warrior was very angry, how can a man beat a woman, even if it's his wife, that's not okay. So he went up and gave the scoundrel a good beating. But he didn't expect that the scoundrel's wife didn't appreciate it.

10. “越是底层的人，处理人际关系的能力就越差，你越往上走，你会发现，你以为人家天天在研究事，而他们往往在研究人。”

10. "The lower down the social ladder a person is, the worse their ability to handle interpersonal relationships. The higher you climb, the more you'll find that while you think they are always studying things, they are often studying people."

11. 人以群分。搞好人际关系，要搞清楚和什么样的人交朋友，要搞清楚自己要成为什么样的人。近朱者赤近墨者黑，人是自然界最高级的群居动物，无论大环境还是小圈子，都是因为某些共识链接在一起，其共识氛围必然影响所处氛围之内的人。你和诚信的人在一起，收获的必然是信任；你和自私的人在一起，收获的必然是背叛；要想成为什么样的人，就和什么样的人打交道，就融入这个群体产生人际关系。

11. People are divided by their groups. To maintain good interpersonal relationships, one must be clear about whom to make friends with and what kind of person one wants to become. As the saying goes, "One becomes red by association with vermilion and black by association with ink." Humans are the most advanced social animals in nature. Whether in a large environment or a small circle, they are linked together by certain commonalities, and the atmosphere of these commonalities will inevitably influence the people within it. If you associate with honest people, you will inevitably gain trust; if you associate with selfish people, you will inevitably experience betrayal. To become the kind of person you want to be, associate with people of that nature and integrate into the group to establish interpersonal relationships.

12. 这个女人很清楚，问题的症结在哪？打一顿，解气是解气，但是解决不了问题。真正要解决问题，就得帮这个女人离婚，离开这个渣男。

12. This woman is very clear about where the crux of the problem lies. Beating her up may relieve some anger, but it won't solve the problem. To truly solve the problem, one must help the woman get a divorce and leave this scoundrel.

13. 每次我看拳击比赛，我都很替裁判捏把汗。两个巨型大汉，专业拳击手，随便哪个人来一拳，就能把在他们中间的那个裁判打得半身不遂。

13. Every time I watch boxing matches, I can't help but feel nervous for the referees. These two giant men, professional boxers, a single punch from either of them could leave the referee in between paralyzed.

14. 冯唐原本是一名医学院临床专业学生，毕业后到北京协和医院任职。他有两个明显的特点：一是喜欢学习各种知识，不断精进自己。二是喜欢拜访各行各业的成功人士，他愿意去链接他人，汲取成功者身上的能量。

14. Feng Tang was originally a student majoring in clinical medicine at a medical college. After graduation, he took a position at Peking Union Medical College Hospital. He has two distinct characteristics: one is his love for learning various types of knowledge and continuously improving himself. The other is his fondness for visiting successful individuals from all walks of life; he is willing to connect with others and absorb the energy from successful people.

15. 我领悟到了先让自己变得美好，别人才会更愿意和你交朋友这个道理。假如你是个谎话连篇、邋邋遢遢、或者整天满满负能量的人，别说朋友会离你越来越远，甚至还有可能交不上任何朋友！

15. I realized the principle that in order for others to be willing to be friends with you, you first need to make yourself beautiful. If you are a person who tells lies constantly, is untidy, or is full of negative energy all day, not only will friends drift away from you, but there's also a possibility that you might not make any friends at all!

16. 你可以跑过去跟出租车司机说：两个人里，你是专业司机，应该你先让。

16. You can run over and tell the taxi driver: Among the two of us, you are the professional driver, so it should be you who gives way first.

17. 很多人一看，这个套路好，很容易学，于是就现学现买。

17. Many people see this套路 as good and easy to learn, so they learn and buy on the spot.

18. 社会的快速发展伴随着人与人之间的频繁分工协作，人际关系越来越显重要，没有人能单独存在，大到国际关系、民族立场，小到商业行为、个人琐事，归根结底是人与人之间的关系行为。为便于搞懂和熟练掌握人际关系，作者罗列以下关键词，与大家共勉。

18. The rapid development of society is accompanied by frequent division of labor and cooperation among people, making interpersonal relationships increasingly important. No one can exist alone. From the large-scale international relations and national stances to the small-scale business behaviors and personal trivial matters, they all ultimately boil down to interpersonal relationship behaviors. To facilitate understanding and master interpersonal relationships, the author lists the following keywords for everyone's reference and encouragement.

19. 这时你给对方戴了一顶专业的帽子，让他觉得自己先让，不但不算认怂，还显得比对方更专业。拥堵解除了，你也可以顺畅回家了。

19. At this point, you've put a professional hat on the other person, making them feel like they're giving in first, which not only doesn't count as showing weakness but also makes you seem more professional. With the traffic jam resolved, you can also go home smoothly.

20. 人无完人，每个人都有缺点，如果你总是盯着别人的缺点不放，你们的关系肯定好不了，反之，学会换位思考，多看别人的优点，你就会发现，越看别人就越顺眼，就能与人处好关系，就懂得用人所长。一枝独秀不是春，百花齐放春满园。只有懂得与人友好相处的人，才能成事。懂得用人所长，你也就拥有了领袖的素质。

20. No one is perfect, everyone has their flaws. If you always focus on others' shortcomings, your relationship will definitely not be good. On the contrary, learn to think from others' perspectives, focus more on their strengths, and you will find that the more you look at others, the more they become pleasing to the eye. This will enable you to get along well with others and understand how to make use of people's strengths. A solitary flower does not make spring, but a hundred flowers blooming makes the garden full of spring. Only those who know how to get along well with others can achieve great things. Understanding how to make use of people's strengths also equips you with the qualities of a leader.

21. 真正厉害的人，一边深耕蓄力，沉淀自己，提升价值。一边主动链接他人，建构有效的人际关系，以获得成功的渠道和平台。

21. The truly formidable individuals are constantly deepening their skills, accumulating strength, refining themselves, and enhancing their value. At the same time, they actively connect with others, build effective interpersonal relationships, to gain channels and platforms for success.

22. 人生在世，谁都想快乐地生活，快乐起源于放松，心态来源于豁达，只有端正自己，才能活得不累。

22. In life, everyone wants to live happily. Happiness originates from relaxation, and a positive mindset comes from generosity. Only by being upright can one live without feeling tired.

23. 比如上面堵车的案例里，没有人想堵在这里一直回不了家。

23. For example, in the case of traffic congestion mentioned above, no one wants to be stuck here and unable to return home.

24. “我觉得这个事情啊，你们双方都有责任，不过话又说回来，谁都不是故意，所以···”

24. "I think both of you are responsible for this matter, but on the other hand, no one intended to do so, so..."

25. 这就像直接生产农产品的农民赚不到钱，而直播带货的明星却赚得盆满钵满。

25. This is like the farmers who directly produce agricultural products not making any money, while the celebrities who sell goods through live streaming are making a fortune.

26. 张总、李总和和赵总三个人运营着一家中等规模的公司，三个人分工明确。

26. Zhang General Manager, Li General Manager, and Zhao General Manager operate a medium-sized company, with clear division of labor among the three.

27. 我们寝室里几个同学看到这里，都觉得这女的太贱了，都分不清谁在帮你，谁在打你。但是后来回头一想，这个战士确实就是太冲动。

27. A few of my dorm mates saw this and thought the woman was too despicable, unable to tell who was helping you and who was hitting you. But upon reflection, we realized that the soldier was indeed too impulsive.

28. 提升自己的智商和情商，交往适合自己的朋友，我们才能在这个复杂多变的人世间如虎添翼，一飞冲天。

28. By enhancing our IQ and EQ, and making friends who suit us, we can soar like a tiger and rise to great heights in this complex and ever-changing world.

29. 这时，如果是一个警察叔叔，穿着制服，向吵架的双方各敬一个礼。你看这两个路人敢喷警察不。

29. At this moment, if it's a police officer in uniform, he would salute to both parties involved in the argument. You see, would these two passersby dare to insult the police?

30. 让自己更好，人人都愿意跟你做朋友，然后你就会知道怎样交朋友，建立自己的人际关系。

30. Make yourself better, everyone is willing to be friends with you, and then you will know how to make friends and build your own interpersonal relationships.

31. 第二: 一个巴掌拍不响，你们双方都有错，你就算一点错都没有，跟人闹矛盾这件事本身就有错。

31. Second: It takes two to tango, both of you are at fault. Even if you have no fault at all, arguing with someone is wrong in itself.

32. 赵总也不甘示弱：新员工是领导的师妹，我觉得这对她更是一种压力，让她以后能好好干活。再说了，这是小事，至于这么上纲上线吗？

32. Manager Zhao was not willing to be outdone: "The new employee is the junior sister of the leader, and I think this is more of a pressure on her, making her work harder in the future. Besides, this is a minor matter, why make such a big deal out of it?"

33. 再比如说，车辆有没有区别，有的车倒车性能好，就应该先让。

33. For example, there may be differences in vehicles. If some vehicles have better reversing performance, they should be given priority.

34. 人与人之间的相处，最好是双方都很舒服。怎么才能让对方和自己都很舒服呢？

34. The best way to get along with others is for both parties to feel comfortable. How can we make both ourselves and the other person feel comfortable?

35. 经营好人际关系，就是经营好自己走向成功的渠道，就是主动去拥抱这个世界。

35. Managing good interpersonal relationships is managing the channel to your own success, it is actively embracing this world.

36. 有些人像居委会大妈一样，以为调节矛盾嘛，就是三条：

36. Some people, like the neighborhood committee aunts, think that resolving conflicts is as simple as three steps:

37. 看人长处，俗话说，“金无足赤人无完人。”每个人都有自己的优缺点，在与人交往时，要学会换位思考，站在他人的角度看问题，这样就可以更好的理解，他人的优缺点，为什么会存在。

37. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, as the saying goes, "Gold is not pure and people are not perfect." When interacting with others, one should learn to think from the other person's perspective and view the problem from their standpoint. This way, one can better understand why others have their own strengths and weaknesses, and why they exist.

38. 这个世界上，一切关系，归根到底是人的关系。一切事业，归根到底是人的事业。只有去研究人，把握人，笼络人，建立起有效的人际关系，才能真正创造一番事业，实现自己的价值。

38. In this world, all relationships, at their core, are human relationships. All endeavors, at their essence, are human endeavors. Only by studying people, understanding them, and winning them over, can one truly establish effective interpersonal relationships and create a successful venture, realizing one's own value.

39. 毕业在即，我们也是各奔东西，我还犹新的记得早上我自己拖着大大的行李箱，没有和过多的人打招呼，因为我不想太悲伤，也不想在自己即将迈入社会心变得过于脆弱，所以我必须努力坚强，因为没人会在以后能帮助我，所以必须努力。

39. As graduation is approaching, we are all heading in different directions. I still vividly remember the morning when I dragged my large suitcase by myself, not saying goodbye to too many people, because I didn't want to be too sad, nor did I want to become overly fragile as I was about to step into society. Therefore, I had to try to be strong, because no one would be able to help me in the future, so I had to strive hard.

40. 秉承着一种公平公正的态度，双方都不偏袒，不拉偏架。

40. Maintaining a fair and just attitude, neither party is biased or takes sides.

41. “哟，哪冒出一颗葱啊！”听到这话，你可能恨不得地上有个缝马上钻进去吧。

41. "Hey, where did that scallion come from!" Upon hearing this, you might wish there was a hole in the ground right now that you could crawl into.

42. 就是要常怀感恩之心。要知道，每一个人从出生到死亡，每一点进步、每一滴收获，都离不开父母、家人、朋友的帮助。永远记得别人的好，才能每天拥有阳光，每天都有朋友相伴，终生都有幸福相随；相反，总是记得别人的不是，只会苦了自己。

42. It is to always maintain a heart of gratitude. You should know that from birth to death, every bit of progress and every drop of achievement cannot be separated from the help of parents, family, and friends. Only by always remembering others' kindness can you have sunshine every day, be accompanied by friends every day, and have happiness follow you throughout your life; conversely, if you always remember others' faults, it will only make yourself suffer.