1. 你要时时把自己想象成有才能、待人诚恳、有益社会的人。有了这种想法后，才会时时刻刻地改变你自己，将自己打造成所希望成为的那种人。你必须知道，思想是至高无上的。保持一种正确的心理状态和人生观-勇敢，诚实和乐观。因为正确的思想能启发创造力。很多事情都由理想，欲望而来。凡你真诚的祈求，都会获得应验。我们的内心需要什么，这种意念就会在我们心里孕育什么，这样，我们才会有收获！从此刻起，放松你凝重的脸色，抬起头，我们就是明天的主宰。

1. You should always imagine yourself as a talented, sincere, and socially beneficial person. With this mindset, you will constantly change yourself and shape yourself into the person you wish to become. You must know that thoughts are the highest. Maintain a correct psychological state and outlook on life - be brave, honest, and optimistic. Because correct thoughts can inspire creativity. Many things come from ideals and desires. Whatever sincere prayers you make, they will be fulfilled. What our inner self needs, this thought will cultivate in us, and thus, we will have a harvest! From this moment on, relax your serious expression, lift your head, and we are the masters of tomorrow.

2. 职场中很多人会直接指出他人的错误，认为这才是不内耗的表现。确实在职场这样的环境中，我们用最快速的方式解决问题。但是，我们现在说的是人际相处，如果想要别人接受你的观点，在提出批评时照顾他人的感受会更容易让人接受。

2. Many people in the workplace will directly point out others' mistakes, believing that this is the manifestation of not being self-consuming. Indeed, in such an environment as the workplace, we use the fastest way to solve problems. However, what we are talking about now is interpersonal interaction. If you want others to accept your point of view, being considerate of others' feelings when making criticism will make it easier for them to accept it.

3. 批评和责备是没有意义的，因为那只会让人在心理上增加一层防护，并且被批评的人也会因为受到批评而竭力为自己的错误辩护。批评与责备他人也是危险的，因为他会伤害到一个人的自尊，并因此激发他对你的反抗。因为人就是这样，自尊感有时候会超越一切。

3. Criticism and scolding are meaningless because they only serve to add a layer of psychological defense, and the person being criticized will also strive to defend themselves against their mistakes due to the criticism. Criticizing and blaming others is also dangerous, as it can hurt a person's self-esteem and thereby provoke their resistance against you. Because humans are like that; sometimes, self-esteem can override everything.

4. 只有愚蠢自大的人，才会不停的批评斥责和抱怨他人；反过来想想，这就是愚蠢者的行为和做事风范。我们要学会宽容和了解他人，学会提升自己的修养和自控的能力，那就需在人格、克已上下功夫了。我们应该尽量了解别人，学会换位思考，而不要轻易地指责对方。换位思考或许会让我们得到更多。正如强森博士所说的：“在末日之前，上帝还不打算审判人！”

4. It is only the foolishly proud who constantly criticize, scold, and complain about others; conversely, this is the behavior and manner of the foolish. We need to learn to be tolerant and understand others, and to improve our self-cultivation and self-control abilities, which requires efforts in character and self-discipline. We should strive to understand others, learn to think from their perspective, and not readily accuse others. Thinking from others' perspectives might bring us more. As Dr. Johnson once said, "Before the end of days, God does not intend to judge humans!"

5. 用真诚的建议和提问代替直接的命令，既照顾到了对方的自尊，又使人有自重感，让人容易接受，也容易得到对方的真诚配合。

5. Replace direct commands with sincere suggestions and questions, which not only takes care of the other person's self-esteem but also gives them a sense of self-respect, making it easier for them to accept and also easier to gain their sincere cooperation.

6. 很多时候自己渴望别人关心自己，但是自己又很少主动，其实慢慢的发现，自己在生活中有时候还是挺冷漠的。冷漠得不是太关心人，只关心自己。

6. Many times, I yearn for others to care about me, but I myself am rarely proactive. In fact, I gradually realize that sometimes in life, I can be quite indifferent. My indifference isn't about not caring for others; it's more about caring only for myself.

7. 一个在生活中不懂得关心他人，对他人从来不感兴趣的人，他的生活必将遭受到严重的阻碍与困难。与此同时，他的这种生活习性，也会给他的亲人和朋友带来极大的心理伤害和心里困扰，以致在整个人类历史中发生的那些悲剧事件里面，都能够看到这些人自私的身影。

7. A person who does not know how to care for others in life and is never interested in others will inevitably face serious obstacles and difficulties in their life. At the same time, this habit of living will also bring great psychological harm and distress to their family and friends, to the extent that in the tragic events that have occurred throughout human history, one can see the selfishness of these individuals.

8. 戳人内心的痛处，揭人过去的伤疤，这不是情商的问题，而是很愚蠢的行为。

8. Poking at someone's inner pain and exposing their past wounds is not a matter of emotional intelligence; it is rather a very foolish behavior.

9. 任何人说的话都别当一回事，你认真你就会受伤。

9. Don't take anything anyone says to heart, or you'll get hurt if you do.

10. 陶乐思·狄克斯是美国研究不幸婚姻的权威者，她提出这样的见解：无用却伤人的指责，是导致大部分婚姻不幸的罪魁祸首之一。

10. Thelma Dykstra is an authority on unhappy marriages in the United States, and she proposes the following view: useless yet hurtful accusations are one of the main culprits leading to the unhappiness of most marriages.

11. 如果你想让一个人某些方面的缺点有所改变，你要让他知道，他已经在这些方面具备一些优点了。

11. If you want to change someone's shortcomings in certain aspects, you should let them know that they already have some strengths in those areas.

12. 太把一件事当回事就是太不把它当回事。太当回事往往是钻牛角只看到自己了，就没有把事情本身和涉及的人当回事。

12. Taking something too seriously is actually not taking it seriously at all. Taking it too seriously often means getting stuck in a narrow-minded perspective and only seeing oneself, without taking the matter itself or the people involved seriously.

13. 在别人犯错的时候，只有愚蠢的人才会迫不及待的指责他们。聪明的人会选择理解和原谅，然后站在他的角度上去思考他为什么会这么做，从而探索出他这样做的背后原因。

13. When others make mistakes, only foolish people would be eager to blame them. Wise people would choose to understand and forgive, then think from his perspective about why he would do so, thereby exploring the reasons behind his actions.

14. 林肯、托尔斯泰、拿破仑三位伟大的人，婚姻中的不幸，皆源自妻子的喋喋不休，对丈夫的不尊重。

14. The three great individuals, Lincoln, Tolstoy, and Napoleon, all experienced misfortune in marriage, which originated from their wives' ceaseless chatter and lack of respect for their husbands.

15. 《教育心理学》一书中写道：追求被同情是人类的普遍现象，孩子受伤后，会急着展示他的伤口，甚至故意弄伤自己，以此来博得大人的同情。

15. It is written in the book "Educational Psychology": Pursuing sympathy is a universal phenomenon among humans. After a child gets hurt, he will eagerly show his wound, or even deliberately injure himself, in order to win the sympathy of adults.

16. 人缘太差一般和做事关系不大，都是不会做人造成的。

16. Poor interpersonal skills are generally not related to how one does their work; they are usually caused by a lack of proper behavior.

17. 很多人为了那点面子不惜打肿脸充胖子，把自己生活搞得一团糟。

17. Many people are willing to put on a brave face and pretend to be someone they're not, even at the cost of ruining their own lives for a bit of face.

18. 史蒂夫·柯维在《第三选择》中写道：我看到你——也就是我看到你也是独立的个体，有自己的需求；当我们能了解别人的需求，站在别人的角度看待问题，那么我们的就有更好地机会创造“第三选择”。

18. Steve Covey wrote in "The Third Alternative": "I see you—as an independent individual with your own needs; when we can understand others' needs and view issues from their perspective, we have a better chance of creating 'the third alternative'."

19. 亨利福特曾这样说过：“如果成功地与他人打交道有一个成功的秘诀的话，那就是擅长捕捉对方的观点，并有能站到对方的立场思考问题的能力，双方彼此共同兼顾对方所想。

19. Henry Ford once said, "If there is a secret to successfully dealing with others, it is the ability to grasp their viewpoints and the capacity to think about problems from their perspective, with both parties considering each other's thoughts."

20. 叔本华说：“财富犹如海水，越多越渴。”

20. Schopenhauer said, "Wealth is like the sea, the more you drink, the thirstier you become."

21. 每个人都是诚实并且愿意履行义务的。即使是一些让人为难的人，如果他能感觉到，在你眼里，他是多么的诚实正直，大多数时候，他也会以同样的反应来对待你。因此，想要改变一个人的意志，就需要把他高尚的动机激发出来。

21. Everyone is honest and willing to fulfill their obligations. Even people who are difficult to deal with, if they can sense how honest and upright they are in your eyes, most of the time, they will also treat you with the same response. Therefore, to change a person's will, it is necessary to ignite their noble motives.

22. 如果想成为一个成功的小说家，你必须先对别人产生兴趣。如果写小说的秘诀如此，在待人处世上更应该如此了。

22. If you want to become a successful novelist, you must first be interested in others. If that is the secret to writing novels, it should be even more so in dealing with people and in social interactions.

23. 有些人为了让别人看得起自己，摆出超出自己能力的排场，持续大量透支自己，结果窟窿越来越大，填补不了，成为自己人生的地狱。

23. Some people, in order to gain respect from others, put on a show beyond their abilities, continuously overextend themselves, and as a result, the hole they dig gets bigger and bigger, which they cannot fill, and it becomes their hell in life.

24. 林肯说过：大部分人的意念决定了他们是否快乐。当你想快乐之时，用一个微笑既能温暖别人，也能让自己开心。当看到他人的微笑之时，你自己也会不自觉的感觉惬意。

24. Lincoln once said: The thoughts of most people determine whether they are happy. When you want to be happy, a smile can not only warm others but also bring joy to yourself. When you see a smile on someone else's face, you will also feel content without even realizing it.

25. 一个人最大的痛苦，是能力配不上野心，财富配不上虚荣。如果为了活出别人眼里的光鲜亮丽，就折磨自己，这样的人生注定是一场劫难。

25. The greatest pain for a person is when their abilities do not match their ambitions, and their wealth does not match their vanity. If one sacrifices oneself for the sake of living up to the shine in others' eyes, such a life is doomed to be a hardship.

26. 这件事很难做到的原因在于，每个人都有自尊感，尤其是在你想要指出别人的错误的时候，你的自尊感会让你感觉自己比对方高出一截，从而你很难自己先谈自己的错误。这种情况下需要你自己先放下自尊感、以谦卑的心态承认自己的不完美，并且做好接受别人批评的准备。

26. The reason why it's hard to do this is that everyone has a sense of self-respect, especially when you want to point out someone else's mistakes. Your sense of self-respect makes you feel superior to the other person, making it difficult for you to talk about your own mistakes first. In this situation, you need to put aside your sense of self-respect, admit your imperfections with a humble attitude, and be prepared to accept criticism from others.

27. 人最大的渴求就是表现自己；所以，当你和对方沟通时，谈对方感兴趣的话题，就可以让他尽力表现自己擅长的方面，这样能让他感受到最大程度的尊重和自我实现感。

27. The greatest desire of a person is to express themselves; therefore, when communicating with others, discussing topics that interest them can allow them to showcase their expertise, which in turn can make them feel the utmost respect and a sense of self-actualization.

28. 举手之劳的忙，主动说我来帮你。自己主动上前和被别人喊效果天差地别。而且有些事总会喊到你头上，何必不图个最好效果。

28. The effort of offering help is minimal; proactively say, "Let me help you." There is a world of difference between taking the initiative to approach someone versus being called by them. Moreover, some things will always come to you; why not aim for the best possible outcome?

29. 这个世界离开谁都一样转，一家企业更是如此。别太高估自己在公司不可或缺的地位，老总离职都会有人顶上，何况你。

29. This world can turn just fine without anyone, and a company is no exception. Don't overestimate your indispensable position in the company. Even if the boss leaves, someone will step in to take over, let alone you.

30. 人类普遍追求同情，孩子们会急切的显示他受伤的地方。有的为了博得大人们的同情，甚至故意割伤，划伤自己。同样的，成人也要显示他们的损伤，说出他们的意外事故、所患的疾病，特别是开刀手术后的详细经过。所有的人都愿意把自己放在一个真实或想象的不幸空间里“自怜自艾”，实际上这是一般人的习性。所以，你要获得别人对你的支持，请践行这一点：同情对方的意念和欲望。

30. Humans universally seek sympathy; children eagerly show their wounds. Some even deliberately injure or scratch themselves to elicit the sympathy of adults. Similarly, adults also need to display their injuries, recount their accidents, illnesses, and especially the detailed process after surgery. Everyone is willing to place themselves in a space of real or imagined misfortune to "mourn themselves," which is actually a common trait among people. Therefore, to gain others' support for yourself, please practice this: empathize with the other person's thoughts and desires.

31. 如果我们要鼓励别人，让他们发现自己的潜能，那么，我们要做到的不只是帮助他们改变想法，而是要帮助他们改变一生的命运。

31. If we want to encourage others to discover their potential, we need to do more than just help them change their ideas; we need to help them change the course of their entire lives.

32. 傲慢，其实是为自己打开了不幸之门，霉运、厄运、衰运，都会纷纷而来。

32. Arrogance, in fact, opens the door to misfortune for oneself. Bad luck, misfortune, and decline will all come in a row.

33. 男人一见钟情是因为这个女人长得好看，女人一往情深是因为这个男人有钱。

33. Men fall in love at first sight because the woman is beautiful, and women are deeply in love because the man is rich.

34. 人心不足蛇吞象，贪心不足吃月亮。一个人太贪了，注定要翻船。

34. Man's desires are insatiable; the greedy snake swallows an elephant, and the greedy man wants to eat the moon. Too much greed is doomed to end in disaster.

35. 言语里只有自己的人，永远都不会为别人着想。你首先需要能够安静地听别人讲话，然后，才能成为一个让人喜欢的人，别人才会乐意听你讲话。

35. A person who only talks about themselves will never think about others. You first need to be able to listen to others in silence, and then you can become someone who is liked by others, and people will be willing to listen to what you have to say.

36. 本杰明·富兰克林说过：假如你在生活和工作中经常和他人抬杠，也许你偶尔能够暂时的取得胜利，但那胜利却是虚无的，因为你因此而永远的失去了他人对你的好感。

36. Benjamin Franklin once said: "If you often argue with others in your life and work, you may occasionally achieve temporary victory, but that victory is hollow because you have permanently lost their good opinion of you."

37. 在指出别人的错误前，先承认自己也不是完美的人，然后指出别人的错误，这样做，对方就会觉得那些批评的话容易接受得多。

37. Before pointing out others' mistakes, admit that you are not perfect yourself first, then point out their mistakes. In this way, the other party will find it much easier to accept the criticism.

38. 人们都想知道如何才能寻找快乐，这里有一条途径或许可以把你带去快乐的境界。那就是让自己知道，快乐是出自内心的，不需要向外界寻求的。

38. Everyone wants to know how to find happiness, and here is a path that might lead you to the realm of happiness. That is to realize that happiness comes from within, and does not require seeking from the outside world.

39. 两周前，看完了戴尔·卡耐基的《人性的弱点》。感受挺强烈的是，全书所讲的都是与人相处之道，但是所阐述的也均是人性；有些章节会让我觉得，这些东西就是官场的权术，掌握了这些东西，可能比《乌合之众》写的那些影响群体心理因素的手段，更能笼络人心。

39. Two weeks ago, I finished reading Dale Carnegie's "The Art of Human Engineering." The impression I got was quite strong. The whole book is about the art of dealing with people, but it also elaborates on human nature. Some chapters made me feel that these are the tactics of the political arena, and mastering these skills may be more effective in winning people's hearts than the methods to influence group psychology described in "The Crowd: A Study of the Popular Mind."

40. 用慈爱和友善的方式与他人接近，能够让他人改变原有的心意，这比用暴力的攻击征服他人更有效。

40. Approaching others with kindness and friendliness can change their original intentions, which is more effective than conquering them through violent attacks.

41. 鲍宾诺博士（研究家庭生活的权威者）关于婚姻失败的4大原因排序：

41. Dr. Baopinuo (an authority on family life) lists and ranks the top 4 causes of marital failure:

42. 地狱中的魔鬼所发明的种种毁灭爱情的烈火中，吵闹是最可怕的一种，就像被毒蛇咬到，绝无生还。

42. Among all the fiery plagues invented by devils in hell to destroy love, the noisiest is the most terrifying, akin to being bitten by a venomous snake, with no hope of survival.

43. 如果你单独一人的时候，吹吹口哨，唱唱歌，尽量让自己高兴起来，就好像你真的很快乐一样。

43. When you are alone, whistle and sing to yourself to try and cheer yourself up, as if you are truly happy.

44. 许家印曾跻身中国富豪榜首位，手中资产几千亿，公司业务遍布全国，可谓炙手可热。

44. Xu Jiayin once reached the top of China's richest list, with assets worth hundreds of billions, and his company's business operations were spread throughout the country, making him a very influential figure.

45. 朋友之问不要掺杂利益，比如借钱、竞争、一起创业，人性经不起考验，把友情放上烤架的往往是你自己。

45. Friendship should not be mixed with interests, such as borrowing money, competing, or starting a business together. Human nature cannot withstand tests, and the one who often puts friendship on the grill is yourself.

46. 然而，董卓非常不屑，他说，我董卓不像那些人一样，是无能之辈。于是，他悍然废立皇帝，独擅朝纲。

46. However, Dong Zhuo was extremely disdainful, saying, "I, Dong Zhuo, am not like those people, a person without ability." Thus, he boldly废立emperor, and exclusively controlled the affairs of the court.

47. 会哭的孩子有奶吃，有了成绩大声唱出来，做错事情偷偷抹掉，历史从来如此。

47. A crying child gets milk to drink; when you achieve something, shout it out loud; when you make a mistake, quietly wipe it away. History has always been like this.

48. 想要真心的称赞他人也不容易，尤其是在我们觉得自己并非不如他人的时候，这个时候的称赞很容易变得虚伪。如何发自内心的称赞呢？我们需要多想想被别人的有点，少考虑自己所取得的成绩，承认别人的优秀其实并不难。

48. It's not easy to sincerely praise others, especially when we feel that we are not less than them. At such times, praise can easily become insincere. How to praise from the heart? We need to think more about the merits of others, less about our own achievements, and admit that it's not difficult to acknowledge the excellence of others.

49. 樊登在 《工作是最好的修行》 中写道：一个人在最高的需求上被满足之后，就不会在意低层次需求的满足；如果他高层次的需求满足不了，就会在低层次的需求上无限索取。

49. Fan Deng wrote in "Work Is the Best Practice": "After a person is satisfied with the highest level of needs, they will no longer care about the satisfaction of lower-level needs; if their higher-level needs cannot be met, they will endlessly seek satisfaction in lower-level needs."

50. 最可悲的是，她在遗书中没有反思自己的虚荣心，还责备自己的父母没本事，赚不到钱，满足不了自己的虚荣心。

不了，她没有在遗书中反思自己的虚荣心，反而责怪自己的父母无能，赚不到钱，不能满足自己的虚荣心。

51. 与人交往，第一件应学的事，就是不干涉别人自己原有的获取快乐的方法。

51. The first thing to learn in social interactions is not to interfere with others' own methods of obtaining happiness.

52. 假如我们要完成一件事，一定要鼓励竞争，这并不意味着要争抢着去挣钱，而是要有超过别人的意念。

52. If we are to accomplish a task, we must definitely encourage competition. This does not mean to rush to make money, but to have the will to surpass others.

53. 最后，事不随人愿，许老板竹篮打水一场空，债务危机无法解决，自己锒铛入狱。

53. Finally, things did not go as planned. Mr. Xu ended up with a bucket empty, unable to resolve the debt crisis, and he himself ended up in prison.

54. 别对他人太好，说翻脸就翻脸的人太多了，一点风吹草动马上扭头不认人，把你咬得骨头都不剩。

54. Don't be too nice to others, there are too many people who can turn on you in a heartbeat. They can turn their back on you at the slightest breeze, and chew you up until there's not a bone left.

55. 一般人都有自怜的习性——诉说自己的不幸以获取他人的同情；因此，如果我们能够针对性的了解他人这一的需求，让对方述说，我们真心的倾听，那么对方必定会对我们产生极大的认同感以及认可。

55. Most people have a tendency to wallow in self-pity — narrating their misfortunes to gain others' sympathy; therefore, if we can specifically understand this need of others, allow them to narrate, and genuinely listen to them, they are bound to develop a strong sense of identification and recognition towards us.

56. 别忘了一点，在人际交往里我们所接触的是人，他们都渴望被人赞赏。给他人以欢乐，这是合情合理的一种美德。

56. Don't forget that in human interactions, what we deal with are people, and they all long to be appreciated. Bringing joy to others is a reasonable and commendable virtue.

57. 普通的感情是不值钱的，有利益的关系才经得起考验，毕竟谁都不会和利益过不去。

57. Ordinary emotions are not valuable; it is only relationships involving benefits that can withstand the test, as nobody would go against their own interests after all.

58. 02 真挚的赞美是成功的助跑器

58. 02 Genuine praise is a successful springboard.

59. 以上笔记完全不能代替原书，原书运用非常多的案例，研究了很多名人的事迹，来阐述以上五章的每一点；通过案例，你会更深刻的感受到，每一个小点的威力，也会更深刻的感受到：人性的这些弱点，是多么的不起眼，但是里面却隐藏着能让你走向成功的密码。

59. The notes above are by no means a substitute for the original book. The original book employs a multitude of cases and studies the deeds of many famous individuals to illustrate each of the five chapters. Through the cases, you will experience a deeper understanding of the power of each small point, and also a profound realization: how unremarkable these weaknesses of human nature may seem, yet they hide the codes that can lead you to success.

60. 要记住，每个人所说的话都是为了自己。每个人背后真实的行动也是为了自己。

60. Remember, everything a person says is for their own sake. The real actions behind each person are also for their own benefit.

61. 懂感恩的人这世上没有几个，长期帮助他只要一件事没帮就能把你所有的好否决。

61. There are very few people in the world who are grateful. As long as one thing is not helped, all the good you have done can be negated.

62. 这里所说的称赞、赞美并非谄媚，他们之间的区别很容易被识别出回来。赞美是发自内心的，谄媚却是虚假的。

62. The praise and admiration mentioned here are not flattery; the distinction between them is easy to recognize. Praise comes from the heart, while flattery is false.

63. 人性中有优点，也有缺点。美国人际关系学家戴尔·卡耐基有两本著作《人性的优点》《人性的弱点》，对此做了专门分析。

63. Human nature has its strengths and weaknesses. The American relationship expert Dale Carnegie has written two books, "The Advantages of Human Nature" and "The Weaknesses of Human Nature," which provide a special analysis of this subject.

64. 当朋友觉得在许多方面胜过你的时候，他的自尊与他心目中占有重要地位的欲望得到了满足。而当你显现出在任何一个方面超过他时，他会有种自卑感，从而会引发他无端的猜忌。

64. When a friend feels superior to you in many aspects, his self-esteem and the desire to be highly valued in his eyes are satisfied. However, when you show that you excel in any particular aspect, he may feel a sense of inferiority, which can lead to unjustified suspicion on his part.

65. 美国著名心理学家杜威说过：受尊重感是人类的一种潜在欲望，是人类天性中最为迫切的心理需求。

65. The famous American psychologist John Dewey once said: The desire for respect is a latent desire of human beings, and it is the most urgent psychological need in human nature.

66. 被人打一拳过几天就好了，但被言语所伤真的是会记恨一辈子。

66. Getting punched once by someone will heal in a few days, but being hurt by words can truly leave a grudge for a lifetime.

67. 如果我们只想引入注意，使人对我们产生兴趣，我们永远不会有很多真诚的朋友。朋友，真正的朋友，并不是用这种方法交到的。

67. If we only seek to attract attention and make people interested in us, we will never have many sincere friends. True friends, genuine friends, are not made this way.