在纷繁复杂的社会舞台上，智慧如同灯塔，指引着我们前行。掌握社交智慧，是实现高效人生的关键。让我们共同探索，揭开通往社交之道的神秘面纱。

In the complex and intricate stage of society, wisdom acts as a lighthouse, guiding us forward. Mastering social wisdom is the key to an efficient life. Let us explore together and unveil the mysterious veil of the path to social success.

1. 多一个朋友多一条路，少一个敌人少一堵墙。

1. A friend in need is a friend indeed. A few friends make a long journey, and a few enemies make a high wall.

2. 每一个人都想获得别人的支持，众人拾柴火焰高，从而成就一番事业，过上更好的生活。所以大家都想着如何拓展自己的人脉，壮大自己在这个世界上的力量。

2. Everyone wants to gain support from others, as the saying goes, many hands make light work, which can help achieve great things and lead a better life. Therefore, people are all thinking about how to expand their networks and strengthen their influence in the world.

3. 很多人都倾向于得到贵人的帮助，然后乘风直上，一日千里，殊不知，人情似纸张张薄，这个世界上没有人会无缘无故的帮助你，除非你对他有利用价值。

3. Many people tend to rely on the help of benefactors, then soar to great heights, covering great distances in a single day, but they fail to realize that human kindness is as thin as paper. In this world, no one will help you for no reason at all, unless you have some value that they can make use of.

4. 所以如何社交，是大家必须面对的话题。

4. Therefore, how to socialize is a topic that everyone must face.

5. 人与人之间的关系都是利益关系。

5. The relationships between people are all based on interests.

6. 尤其是那些功成名就的上层人物，他们清醒的懂得社交的本质，会权衡付出和收益之间的关系。

6. Especially those high-ranking individuals who have achieved both success and recognition, they are acutely aware of the essence of social interactions and weigh the relationship between the input and the output.

7. 他们为什么帮助你？为什么在茫茫人海之中，唯独选中你？你能给他们带来什么样的价值？

7. Why did they help you? Why out of the vast sea of people, did they choose you? What value can you bring to them?

8. 作为一个普通人，既然长年累月都非常普通，说明自己没有天分，没有背景，没有过人的能力，没有强大的专业，没有资源，没有人脉，没有渠道，没有后台，只是单枪匹马在这个社会上闯荡，并且还没有闯出一个名堂。

8. As an ordinary person, since I have been ordinary for year after year, it indicates that I lack talent, background, extraordinary abilities, strong expertise, resources, connections, channels, or backing. I am fighting alone in this society without having made a name for myself.

9. 你拥有让贵人帮助你的本钱吗？具有让成功者提携你的价值吗？没有！所以向上社交这条路是走不通的，不管你如何挤进成功者们的圈子，如何低三下四，低眉顺眼，点头哈腰，别人也不可能把自己的优质资源和渠道与你共享。

9. Do you have the capital to let a贵人 help you? Do you possess the value to allow successful people to mentor you? No! Therefore, the path of upward social mobility is a dead end. No matter how hard you try to squeeze into the circles of the successful, no matter how humble or subservient you become, bowing and scraping, others are unlikely to share their high-quality resources and channels with you.

10. 向上社交，说得好听，其实自取其辱罢了。

10. Social climbing, while it sounds good, is actually self-inflicted humiliation.

11. 对于一个普通人，人生的天花板触手可及，不必因为遥不可及的身外之物而折腾自己，取悦自己才是王道。

11. For an ordinary person, the ceiling of life is within reach, and there is no need to trouble oneself over things beyond one's grasp. Pleasing oneself is the ultimate way.

12. 如果自己平平无奇，没有足够的价值和实力，就一定要接纳平凡的命运，不要跟自己较劲，不要错误的估计自己，从而产生一些不切实际的抱负和梦想，那样只会让自己陷入万劫不复的深渊之中。

12. If one is ordinary and lacks sufficient value and strength, one must accept the ordinary destiny, do not struggle against oneself, do not make a wrong estimate of oneself, and thus develop some unrealistic ambitions and dreams. This will only lead oneself into an abyss from which there is no return.

13. 没有人是一座孤岛，我们总需要和别人链接，即便不是出于利益需要，也是一种情绪价值的需要。

13. No one is an island; we always need to connect with others, whether it's not for the sake of material interests, it is also a need for emotional value.

14. 与其向上社交自讨没趣，还不如向下社交，跟一些平平淡淡的人为伍，和一些普普通通的人厮混，没有顾虑，没有期待，没有算计，没有利益的博弈和计谋的盘算，大家在一起，无非就是吃喝玩乐，谈笑风生，打发无聊的日子，抒发郁闷的心情，追求人生的快乐。

14. It's better to engage in socializing with ordinary people rather than trying to climb the social ladder and encountering frustration. Be among those who lead a simple life, mingling with the common folk. Without concerns, expectations, or calculations, there's no game of interests or strategizing. Being together is just about enjoying food, drink, and entertainment, laughing and chatting away the boredom, expressing one's melancholy, and pursuing happiness in life.

15. 人生到最后都是一捧黄土，与其在比你厉害的人那里委曲求全，不如和一群社会小角色静待流年。

15. In the end, life is all reduced to a handful of earth. It's better to wait for the passage of time with a group of minor social figures than to kowtow and compromise with someone more talented than you.

16. 不渴望建功立业，不奢求名利金钱，不对任何人抱有心存幻想的期待和不切实际的妄想，快快乐乐就好。

16. Not aspiring to achieve great feats or gain fame and wealth, not harboring unrealistic expectations or daydreams about anyone, just be happy and content.

17. 王朔说：“保安的朋友圈，大多都是保安；老师的朋友圈，大多是高学历的同行；官员的朋友圈，大多是官员；医生的朋友圈，大多是医护。你朋友圈的质量，反映出你的生活层次。”

17. Wang Shuo said, "The friends circle of security guards mostly consists of security guards; the friends circle of teachers mostly includes colleagues with higher education; the friends circle of officials mostly includes officials; and the friends circle of doctors mostly includes medical staff. The quality of your friends circle reflects your level of life."

18. 其实我们具有什么样的价值和能力，注定只能拥有什么样的圈子，不必刻意花心思去社交，跟合得来的人相处，与可以同频共振的人说话，就是最好的社交智慧。

18. In fact, the values and abilities we possess are predetermined to attract certain circles. There is no need to刻意 put effort into socializing. Being with people you get along with and talking to those who resonate with you is the best social wisdom.

19. 作为《奇葩说》这档热门辩论节目的老粉，除了津津乐道的经典辩题外，印象深刻的还有那些能表达出直达心灵、引起共鸣论点的优秀辩手，当知道大神们出版了本讲怎么好好说话的书时，迫不及待的想一探究竟，好奇大神们是用的什么武功秘籍练就这一身本领。

19. As an old fan of the popular debate show "奇葩说," apart from the classic debate topics that I津津乐道, what left a deep impression were the excellent debaters whose arguments could touch the soul and resonate with the audience. When I learned that these great masters had published a book on how to speak well, I was eager to explore it and was curious about what secret martial arts manual they used to cultivate such skills.

20. 我们都看过了太多讲沟通技巧的书籍、领导力的大师课程、TED演讲、MBA的谈判教程，日常交流中也或多或少知道一些沟通技巧与套路，但是在这本书中，我们依然可以更加系统的学习到在不同的场景下 如何好好思考，好好说话 ，干货满满的同时阅读过程中又不失新鲜有趣，读完豁然开朗，收益良多，特此分享下最印象深刻的部分。

20. We have all read too many books on communication skills, master classes on leadership, TED talks, and MBA negotiation tutorials. In our daily exchanges, we have at least a little knowledge of communication skills and tricks. However, in this book, we can still learn more systematically how to think and speak well in different situations. It's packed with practical content while keeping the reading process fresh and interesting. Upon finishing it, I felt enlightened and gained a lot. Therefore, I would like to share the most impressive parts of it.

21. 五维话 术

21. The Five Dimensions Talk - Technique

22. “说话之伤，都是暗伤，故说话之道，也是为人之道。”

22. "The harm caused by speaking is all hidden harm, hence the way of speaking is also the way of being a person."

23. 书中围绕 话语权 这个核心，将话术分为 沟通、说服、谈判、演讲、辩论 这五维，全面的给我们呈现了说话的精微奥妙。

23. Focusing on the core concept of "power of discourse," the book categorizes rhetorical techniques into five dimensions: communication, persuasion, negotiation, oration, and debate, thereby presenting a comprehensive view of the subtle and profound art of speaking.

24. 说话自始至终是一项综合能力，当我们将一种能力发挥到极致的时候，自然会需要别的能力以进一步的补充，达到五维俱全的圆融状态，所以五维相互之间既此消彼长又渗透转变，使其随缘因化共同发生作用，构建出一个全息的说话练习体系，让我们在任何场景下都能好好说话。

24. Speaking throughout the process is a comprehensive skill. When we bring a particular ability to its fullest potential, we naturally need other abilities to further complement and reach a state of wholeness in all five dimensions. Therefore, the five dimensions interact with each other, some diminishing while others grow, and some permeating and transforming, enabling them to work together in harmony. This creates a holistic speaking practice system, allowing us to speak well in any situation.

25. 本书中关于好好说话的定义： 即围绕“话语权”这个核心，兼具“耐思”（进行深入的思考和分析的智慧），“耐撕”（处理观点交锋和利益冲突的能力），nice（与人为善追求达成共识）。

25. The definition of "good speaking" in this book: It revolves around the core of "power of speech," combining "patience in thought" (the wisdom of deep thinking and analysis), "patience in confrontation" (the ability to handle conflicting views and interests), and "nice" (being kind to others and striving for consensus).

26. 这里的“权力”既不是勾心斗角的宫心计，也不是官大压死人的强迫，它是指 语言过程中自然形成的形势关系 。

26. Here, "power" is neither a cunning court intrigue nor an oppressive compulsion of high-ranking officials; it refers to the natural relationship of circumstances that naturally form during the process of language.

27. 话一旦说出口，就是给人听的，就会在说话者和听话者之间构成某种关系，在特定的关系里，特定的语境下，就会存在谁主动、谁被动、谁需要争取谁的问题——也就是我们在说任何话的时候必然要身处其中的“权力关系”（ 语境是关键 ）。

27. Once words are spoken, they are meant to be heard, and they will establish some form of relationship between the speaker and the listener. Within a specific relationship and context, there will be questions of who is proactive, who is passive, and who needs to win over whom—this is the "power relationship" that we inevitably find ourselves in whenever we speak (the context is the key).

28. 纯就学理来说， 影响他人的观念就是语言的终极目的 。

28. Purely from a theoretical standpoint, influencing others' opinions is the ultimate purpose of language.

29. 想要影响“谁”的观念，“谁”就掌握了这场语言游戏里的生杀大权。

29. Whoever wishes to influence whose concept, that person holds the life-and-death power in this language game.

30. 在五维场景中，关于“权力”的关系下图展示的就更加清晰了，只有明白了这一步，才能更好继续我们的好好说话：

30. In a five-dimensional scenario, the relationship regarding "power" depicted in the following diagram is even clearer. Only by understanding this step can we better continue our good communication.

31. 但究其根本，五维很难绝对独立，依然是一个需要具备 “综合格斗” 能力的过程。因为任何一项短板，都会话术失衡，就像柴米油盐快要见底，不能随心所欲的调和味道。

31. But fundamentally, the five dimensions are difficult to be absolutely independent, and they still constitute a process that requires the ability to practice "mixed martial arts." Because any weakness will cause the balance of tactics to be disrupted, just like when the basics like firewood, rice, oil, salt, and soy sauce are running low, you can no longer arbitrarily adjust the flavors to your liking.

32. 真正的高手永远只会问自己一个问题：“ 如何让综合运用这五项能力，才能呈现出最适合当下要求的说话状态。“ ，单项能力从来就不足以解决复杂的真实问题。

32. True masters will always only ask themselves one question: "How can I effectively integrate these five abilities to present the most suitable speaking state for the current demands?" Individual abilities are never sufficient to solve complex real-world problems.

33. 任何时候的好好说话，是既能清晰界定五种话术能力，知道他们的不足与特点，也能对他们综合运用，按照不同场景选取合适的说话策略。

33. At all times, good communication involves clearly defining the five types of communication skills, understanding their weaknesses and characteristics, and being able to apply them synthetically. According to different scenarios, appropriate speaking strategies should be chosen.

34. 沟通 -将双方置于同一平面

34. Communication - Place both parties on the same level

35. 选择写沟通这个主题，是因为我们每天在正常的工作生活环境下无一不在沟通， 沟通是让原本不相通的事物变得相通 。正因为它的日常且重要，才不得不要求更高，人与人之间本就是不相连的个体，因为有了沟通，才让我们内心的认知有机会摆在同一个层面。

35. The choice to write about the theme of communication is because we are constantly communicating in our normal work and daily life environments. Communication is what allows things that were originally unconnected to become interconnected. Just because it is daily and important, it is necessary to demand more from it. People are inherently individual entities that are not connected, and it is through communication that our inner cognition has the opportunity to be placed on the same level.

36. 001 承上启下的工具性沟通 ：建立基本共识、扩充对话时间、调整预设认知以及释放可能的善意。不管在工作还是生活中都能遇到的一种常见沟通方式 。

36.001 Instrumental Communication that Bridges the Gap: Establishing basic consensus, extending dialogue time, adjusting preconceived perceptions, and releasing possible goodwill. A common communication approach encountered in both work and life.

37. 002 不可避免的冲突性沟通 ：我们要明确的是，冲突并不是一个我们要刻意回避的问题，恰恰相反，冲突可能会时时发生，且人与人相处中必然发生，是一种用以宣泄压抑情绪，表达自我直观感受，促进双方更加理解的过程。

37. 002 Inevitable Conflictual Communication: What we need to clarify is that conflict is not a problem we should deliberately avoid. On the contrary, conflict may occur at any time and is inevitable in human interactions. It is a process used to vent suppressed emotions, express intuitive feelings, and promote a deeper understanding between both parties.

38. 003 不可忽视的情绪沟通 ：沟通远不止只是讲道理那么简单，情绪反而才是沟通时要处理的主要内容。

38. 003 Non-negligible Emotional Communication: Communication is far more than just talking sense; emotions are actually the main content to be dealt with during communication.

39. 情绪是性格的一部分，没有好坏之分。情绪沟通也不是一味的强制一方推崇另一方，而是要在情绪沟通中察觉到自己处于什么样的情绪，勇于面对自己的情绪，并知道如何释放自己的情绪，合理引导他人情绪。

39. Emotions are a part of one's personality, and there is no distinction between good and bad. Emotional communication is not about unilaterally forcing one party to promote the other, but rather to be aware of one's own emotions during emotional communication, to bravely confront one's own emotions, and to know how to release one's emotions and guide others' emotions reasonably.

40. 004 强大内心的自我沟通 ：自我沟通，实际是自己与自己对话的过程，用来明确、建立或者强化自己的想法与观念。看起来只是喃喃自语，其实需要很强的自我接纳、发现和自我达成和解的技巧。

40. 004 Strong Inner Self-Communication: Self-communication is actually the process of conversing with oneself, used to clarify, establish, or strengthen one's thoughts and ideas. It may seem like mere muttering to oneself, but it requires strong skills of self-acceptance, discovery, and self-accord.