理解关系阶段性，避免过度沉迷于任何一段情感。

Understand the阶段性 of relationships and avoid overindulging in any emotional bond.

1. 成年人交友之后，

1. After adults make friends,

2. 它都会是减分制。

2. It will be a point deduction system.

3. 大家已经不像小时候一样会作会闹，

3. People are no longer as mischievous and noisy as they were when they were little.

4. 攒够了失望就会离开。

4. Accumulate enough disappointment and leave.

5. — 傅首尔

5. — Fu Sheeruo

6. “永远别把关系看得太重，你跟任何人的关系，都是有期限的。”

6. "Never take relationships too seriously, as every relationship you have with anyone has an expiration date."

7. “三观不在一个层面，即使是面对面，两颗心也是渐行渐远的。”

7. "Their three views are not on the same level; even when facing each other, their hearts are gradually moving apart."

8. “硬凑在一起的关系，即使有幸同行，也终将会走散在人海里。”

8. "Relationships that are forced together will eventually drift apart in the vast sea of people, even if they are fortunate enough to travel together."

9. “短暂的相遇，不贪心便是礼物，若还期待便是惩罚，是你不幸的开始。”

9. "A brief encounter, not to be greedy is a gift; if you still expect, it is a punishment, the beginning of your misfortune."

10. “你既允许对方突然闯进你的生活，就要允许他突然的离开，孤独才是常态。”

10. "If you allow someone to suddenly burst into your life, you must also allow them to suddenly leave. Solitude is the norm."

11. “你之所以会苦痛，在于你想要的太多了，学会放弃，对很上头的关系，及时止损。”

11. "The reason you are suffering is because you want too much. Learn to let go, and for relationships that have gone too far, cut your losses in time."

12. “你应该庆幸，在你还能承受住离别的年纪，遇见了一个让你怦然心动的人。”

12. "You should be grateful that at the age when you can still bear parting, you met someone who stirs your heart."

13. “人生就是一列开往终点的列车，路途上会有很多站，难免有人上车，有人下车。”

13. "Life is a train heading towards the end of the line, and along the way, there will be many stops where some will get on and others will get off."

14. “最深的情，是细水长流；最长的路，是风雨同行。别太上头，留一份清醒给自己，也留一份余地给关系。”

14. "The deepest love is like a slow, steady stream; the longest journey is walking through storms together. Don't be overly absorbed, keep a bit of clarity for yourself, and leave some room for the relationship."

15. “人来人往是常态，时常联系才是意外，绝大多数关系都是季节性的，你不必去抱怨那些中途离开的人。”

15. "People coming and going is the norm, frequent contact is the exception, the vast majority of relationships are seasonal, and you don't have to complain about those who leave in the middle."

16. “别遗憾任何关系，只要关系存在时，我们未曾彼此辜负，那便也能成为最好的状态之一。”

16. "Don't regret any relationship, as long as we have not betrayed each other while the relationship exists, it can also become one of the best states."

17. “相遇总是猝不及防，离别都是蓄谋已久，我们要习惯身边的忽冷忽热，也要看淡那些渐行渐远。”

17. "Encounters always come unexpectedly, while departures are often premeditated. We need to get used to the fluctuating temperatures around us and learn to take things in stride as people gradually drift apart."

18. “人和人的相处，本质上是互相筛选的过程。日渐疏远，说明你们已经不再匹配，默默离开就是最好的告别。”

18. "The essence of interacting with others is a process of mutual selection. Gradual distance indicates that you are no longer a match, and silently leaving is the best farewell."

19. “我们决定不了谁的出现，挽留不了谁的离开，把期待值降到最低，接受突如其来的失去，珍惜不期而遇的惊喜。”

19. "We cannot decide who appears or who leaves, so we lower our expectations to the minimum, accept the sudden loss, and cherish the unexpected surprises."

20. “痛了，会撒手是本能，没必要非要强人所难，既难堪了别人，又委屈了自己。”

20. "Pain prompts us to let go, which is an instinct. There's no need to force others to endure hardship. It's both embarrassing for others and unfair to oneself."

21. “对的人，不需要你费尽心思，自然会留在你身边，而注定会离开的人，不管你多努力，也抓不住。”

21. "The right person doesn't require you to go to great lengths to stay by your side; they will naturally be there. And the person who is destined to leave, no matter how hard you try, you cannot hold onto them."

22. “茫茫人海，有幸相识，相伴一程，已是上上签了，不必苛求永久，见过花开就好，何必在意花落谁家。”

22. "In the vast sea of people, to have the fortune to meet and accompany each other for a while is already the best omen. There's no need to demand permanence. Seeing the flowers bloom is enough. Why should it matter whose home the flowers fall?"

23. “曾经让你疯狂上头的人，也会在岁月的侵蚀下，渐渐面目全非，回过头再看，当初无比熟悉的那张脸，再看已毫无波澜。”

23. "The person who once made you crazy with passion will also gradually change beyond recognition under the erosion of time. Looking back, the face that was once so familiar to you is now devoid of any emotion."

24. 自私，是使用频率很高的概念。一个概念，并非因为人们经常使用而便于给它定义，作为研究，怎样才能比较科学地定义以概括其全部本质特征呢？ 美国学者威尔逊在《新的综合》一书中，甚至将生命的最基本单位基因也说成是“自私”的。按威尔逊使用“自私”概念的意义推而广之，一棵小草同另一棵小草争夺养料，鸟吃虫，猫吃老鼠，一只狗同另一只狗争抢骨头，人吃猪肉，食谷物，这统统是“自私”的表现。尽管威尔逊也承认基因既无意识，也无情感。实际上，威尔逊是将任何生物体表现的有利自身、且以损害其它生物体为代价的“客观行为”统称为“自私”。威尔逊在什么意义上使用自私这个概念，那是他自己的事。但我为了研究的方便，只限于在人类社会中人与人的关系上使用自私的概念。

24. Selfishness is a concept that is frequently used. A concept is not necessarily easy to define just because people use it often. How can one scientifically define it to encompass all its essential characteristics as a research subject? In his book "The New Synthesis," the American scholar Wilson even refers to the most basic unit of life, the gene, as "selfish." By extending the meaning of the concept of "selfishness" as used by Wilson, we can see that the competition between two grasses for nutrients, birds eating insects, cats eating mice, a dog fighting another dog for bones, humans eating pork and grains, all of these are manifestations of "selfishness." Although Wilson also acknowledges that genes have neither consciousness nor emotions. In fact, Wilson uses the term "selfishness" to collectively refer to any "objective behavior" in any biological organism that is beneficial to itself at the expense of other biological organisms. The meaning in which Wilson uses the concept of "selfishness" is his own affair. However, for the convenience of research, I limit the use of the concept of "selfishness" to the relationships between people in human society.

25. 自私，作为人的属性之一，作为广泛而复杂的社会现象，既可表现为人的客观行为，又可表现为人的主观意识、观念、动机。由于人的意识、行为的统一性，自私可兼指行为、观念二者；又因为人的行为、意识之间可能脱节，空间时间上发生分离，或以矛盾的形式出现，它又可独指行为或观念。那么，究竟从主观意识方面给自私定义好呢？还是从客观行为方面给自私定义好呢？

25. Selfishness, as one of the attributes of humans, as a widespread and complex social phenomenon, can manifest itself both in the objective behavior of individuals and in their subjective consciousness, ideas, and motivations. Due to the unity of human consciousness and behavior, selfishness can refer to both behavior and ideas. Moreover, because there may be a disconnect between human behavior and consciousness, or a separation in space and time, or it may appear in the form of contradictions, it can also refer exclusively to behavior or ideas. So, is it better to define selfishness from the perspective of subjective consciousness, or from the perspective of objective behavior?

26. 有人侧重从客观行为及其效果方面给自私定义，认为“自私，是指人以损害他人、社会的利益为代价来满足自己利益要求的行为”。换言之，自私是一种损人利己的客观行为。我将此定义称为“自私的客观行为定义。”

26. Some people define selfishness from the perspective of objective behavior and its effects, considering "selfishness as the behavior where individuals satisfy their own interests at the cost of harming others' or society's interests." In other words, selfishness is an objective behavior that harms others while benefiting oneself. I refer to this definition as the "objective behavior definition of selfishness."

27. 该定义符合人们在道德评价中着重行为效果的习惯，而且，许多人在许多场合是在损人利己的行为的意义上使用自私概念的。但是，该定义失之于简单。

27. This definition conforms to the habit of focusing on the effects of behavior in moral evaluations, and many people, in many situations, use the concept of selfishness in the sense of benefiting oneself at the expense of others. However, this definition is lacking in its simplicity.

28. 首先，按照该定义的规定，只有当人事实上表现出损人利己的行为时，人才可以被称为自私。如果人没有表现损人利己的行为，那就不是自私的。然而，众所周知，如同人可以有犯罪的意识，动机，但并非一定事实上表现犯罪的行为一样，人有损人利己的意识，也并非一定事实上表现损人利己的行为。这是因为：

28. Firstly, according to the provisions of this definition, a person can only be called selfish when they actually demonstrate behavior that harms others for their own benefit. If a person does not display such behavior, they are not considered selfish. However, as is widely known, just as a person may have the consciousness or motive to commit a crime, but may not necessarily act on it in fact, a person may have the consciousness of harming others for their own benefit, but may not necessarily act on it in fact either. This is because:

29. 动机、意识指导行为的产生，其间尚有一个过程。在过程完成之前，一种动机、意识可能己经改变或消失，被另一意识、动机所取代；

29. The generation of behavior guided by motivation and consciousness involves a process. Before the process is completed, a particular motivation or consciousness may have already changed or disappeared, being replaced by another consciousness or motivation.

30. 一种动机、意识可能仍然存在，但由于外部环境的制约，或由于另一意识、动机的抑制，该意识、动机暂时没有指导行为的产生而潜伏下来。因此，人没有表现损人利己的行为，但这并不等于他头脑中一定不存在损人利己的意识、动机。由于客观行为的定义没有将此种情况包括进去，在解释有些现象时，便显得生硬、牵强附会。例如，某人在某事上没有表现损人利己的行为，但在另一事上又表现了损人利己的行为。按客观行为的定义，就只能这样解释：他由不自私变成了自私。但事实上，这里有两种情况：一是这种客观行为的变化是动机、意识相应变化的结果；二是行为虽然变化，但动机没有变，动机是原来就存在，是连续的。按客观行为定义来解释第一种情况，是合理的，但解释第二种情况，则显然不妥。

30. A motive or consciousness may still exist, but due to constraints from the external environment or due to the suppression by another consciousness or motive, such consciousness or motive temporarily does not guide the production of behaviors and remains潜伏. Therefore, a person may not exhibit behaviors that harm others for personal gain, but this does not necessarily mean that harmful consciousness or motives for personal gain do not exist in their mind. Since the definition of objective behavior does not include such situations, it may appear rigid and forced when explaining certain phenomena. For example, a person may not exhibit behaviors that harm others for personal gain in one matter but may do so in another. According to the definition of objective behavior, this can only be explained as: the person has changed from being unselfish to selfish. However, in fact, there are two situations: one is that the change in objective behavior is the result of corresponding changes in motive and consciousness; the other is that although the behavior changes, the motive does not change, the motive was already present, and it is continuous. It is reasonable to explain the first situation according to the definition of objective behavior, but it is obviously inappropriate to explain the second situation.

31. 其次，如果在严格的“损人利己”的意义上使用自私的概念，那么，当有人遇难不帮或见死不救①时，这类行为也不能被称为自私。因为行为者他既不损人，也不利己。而事实上，人们没有例外地将此种行为称为自私，这类行为者被称为自私的人。

31. Secondly, if the concept of selfishness is used in the strict sense of "harming others for one's own benefit," then, when someone is in distress and is not helped or when someone is seen dying and no help is offered①, such behavior cannot be called selfish. Because the actor neither harms others nor benefits himself. In fact, people universally refer to this kind of behavior as selfish, and such individuals are called selfish people.

32. 尤为重要的是，当人的行为的客观效果表现为利己利人（互惠）

32. It is particularly important that when the objective effects of human behavior manifest as beneficial to oneself and others (mutual benefit).

33. 时，人是不是自私的呢？按照客观行为的定义那也不能称为自私。

33. At 33, isn't a person self-centered? According to the definition of objective behavior, it cannot be called self-centered either.

34. 但我们知道，利己利人的客观行为效果，常常是从“为我”的主观动机出发的结果（当然有其他情况）。当有人实施客观上有利他人、社会的行为时，“利他者”很可能是为了从他人、社会那里获得相应报酬。“他的良好行为是一种老谋深算之举，实质上是为了自己的及其亲属的利益。”②观念、动机是自私的。正因为是“为了我自己的及其亲属的利益”，所以，如果他的良好行为（利他）没有能使他从对方获取他认为的相应报酬，或少于他认为的相应报酬，那么可以预期，他的良好行为将消失或减少，假如他能够获得相应的报酬，他的良好行为将继续表现。这类行为，虽然仅从行为效果（利己利人）看，从静态的意义上看，的确不便称为自私，但如果从动态的意义上，从主观意识、动机方面看，就有充分的理由称为自私。

34. However, we know that the objective effects of self-interested and altruistic behaviors are often the result of subjective "me-centered" motivations (of course, there are other situations). When someone performs behaviors that are objectively beneficial to others or society, the "altruist" is likely motivated by the desire to receive corresponding rewards from others or society. "His good behavior is a calculated move, essentially for his own and his relatives' benefit."②Ideas and motivations are selfish. It is precisely because it is "for my own and my relatives' benefit" that, if his good behavior (altruism) does not enable him to obtain the corresponding rewards he considers appropriate, or less than what he considers appropriate, it can be expected that his good behavior will diminish or disappear, and if he can obtain the corresponding rewards, his good behavior will continue. Although such behaviors, from the perspective of their behavioral effects (self-interest and altruism) and in a static sense, may not be convenient to call selfish, if considered from a dynamic perspective, in terms of subjective consciousness and motivation, there is ample reason to label them as selfish.

35. 由此看来，仅从客观行为方面给自私定义，虽然考虑到了行为动机的统一性，但由于没有注意到观念、行为的矛盾性与脱节的可能，故没有概括人们使用自私这一概念的全部内涵，所以，有相当的局限性。

35. From this perspective, defining selfishness solely from the objective aspect of behavior, while considering the unity of behavioral motives, has not fully encompassed the connotations of the concept of selfishness used by people, as it has not taken into account the potential contradictions and disjunctures between ideas and actions. Therefore, it has considerable limitations.

36. 无疑，从主观意识方面为自私定义是有根据的：

36. Undoubtedly, defining selfishness from the perspective of subjective consciousness is well-founded:

37. 只有人才具有鲜明的意识（当然是在相对的意义上），所以从主观意识方面定义，可以将人的自私与其它动物的“自私”（本能）很好地区别开来。并且，这符合我研究自私只限于人的目的；二，从主观意识、动机方面给自私定义，便于从动态的角度认识自私与人，从而避免客观行为定义的局限；

37. Only humans possess a distinct consciousness (of course, in a relative sense), so from the perspective of subjective consciousness, it is possible to clearly differentiate human selfishness from the "selfishness" (instinct) of other animals. Moreover, this aligns with the purpose of my research, which is limited to human selfishness; secondly, defining selfishness from the perspective of subjective consciousness and motivation facilitates understanding selfishness and humans from a dynamic perspective, thereby avoiding the limitations of defining selfishness based on objective behavior.

38. 动机、意识比行为本身更有力，其逻辑是：通常情况下，人的行为总是人的有意识的行为，如果我们能够真正消灭意识、动机，那就能同时消灭行为本身，但消灭了行为，却并不等于消灭了意识、动机，而只要动机、意识仍然存在，它又可将消灭过的行为重新生产出来。

38. Motivation and consciousness are more powerful than the behavior itself. The logic is as follows: usually, human behavior is always a conscious act. If we could truly eliminate consciousness and motivation, we would also eliminate the behavior itself. However, the elimination of behavior does not necessarily mean the elimination of consciousness and motivation. As long as motivation and consciousness still exist, they can regenerate the behavior that has been eliminated.

39. 于是，我将自私定义为：当人同他人、社会发生利益关系时，他首先考虑的更看重的是自己的利益，当人认为自己同他人的利益不矛盾时，这种为自己利益考虑的动机即可指导客观上利人利己的行为；当人认为自己的利益同他人、社会的利益相矛盾时，这种为自己利益考虑的动机就表现为牺牲他人、社会的利益来维护发展自己的利益的行为。

39. Therefore, I define selfishness as: When a person engages in beneficial relationships with others or society, they prioritize their own interests first. When a person believes that their interests are not contradictory to those of others, the motivation to consider one's own interests can guide behavior that is objectively beneficial to both oneself and others. When a person believes that their interests are in conflict with the interests of others or society, the motivation to consider one's own interests manifests as actions that sacrifice the interests of others or society to maintain and develop one's own interests.

40. 对自私作如此界定，也许仍然没有概括人们使用该概念的全部本质特征。但有一点可以肯定，对自私这一概念，必须作多角度、多层次的、动态的整体把握。为此，就必须将对人的主观意识、动机与客观行为两方面的研究结合起来。

40. Such a definition of selfishness may still not fully capture all the essential characteristics that people use the concept for. However, it is certain that a multi-dimensional, multi-level, and dynamic overall grasp of the concept of selfishness is necessary. For this purpose, it is essential to combine the study of both people's subjective consciousness and motives with their objective behavior.

41. 自私的相对性意义之一，是指自私相对无私（大公无私）③而言。

41. One of the relative meanings of selfishness is in relation to its contrast with selflessness (greatly selfless)③.

42. 一些思想家们认为④，支配人处理与他人、社会利益关系的唯一原则、规律是“利己”（自私），在处理与他人、社会的利益关系时，人只有一种观念、意识、动机，那就是“为自己”，如同河水不会向河源倒流，人不会为别人的幸福而牺牲自己的幸福。

42. Some thinkers believe④ that the sole principle and law governing how individuals handle their relationships with others and societal interests is "egoism" (selfishness). When dealing with the interests of others and society, individuals have only one idea, consciousness, and motivation, which is "for oneself." Just as water does not flow upstream to its source, people will not sacrifice their own happiness for the happiness of others.

43. 即便有人在客观上表现了有利他人、社会的行为，甚至这是以牺牲自己的生命为代价，那也不过是为了满足自己的同情心、满足自己爱惜荣誉的冲动的需要，（因为在行为者看来，他的荣誉的价值，大于他生命的价值。）这就是、这还是“为自己”。（自私）

43. Even if someone behaves in a way that is objectively beneficial to others and society, even at the cost of their own life, it is still merely to satisfy their own need for compassion and their desire to cherish their honor (because in the eyes of the actor, the value of their honor is greater than the value of their life). This is still, it remains, "for oneself." (Selfish)

44. 早些年，我国一些青年人曾讨论人生价值问题，著名的潘晓也谈到了自私的问题，认为，即使是被人们称为崇高的大公无私者，那也不过是“主观为自己，客观为别人” 。人的行为的客观效果，可能有利他人、社会，但在主观上，他总是从自己，从满足自己的某种愿望、冲动、情感、价值观念的要求出发的，因此，也只能是“自私的”。

44. In the earlier years, some young people in our country had discussions on the issue of the value of life, and the famous Pan Xiao also talked about the issue of selfishness, believing that even those who are called noble and selfless by others are merely "acting for themselves subjectively, and for others objectively." The objective effects of a person's actions may be beneficial to others or society, but in terms of the subjectivity, they always start from themselves, from the need to satisfy their own desires, impulses, emotions, or value concepts, and therefore, they can only be considered "selfish."

45. 按纯粹自私论的逻辑，任何人的道德行为，只有客观效果的差别，而没有主观动机的本质差异。“为他人、为公”，只有客观效果的意义，作为观念、意识，实质上并不存在。

45. According to the logic of pure egoism, there is no essential difference in the subjective motivation of any person's moral behavior; there is only a difference in the objective effects. "For others, for the public" only has the meaning of objective effects; as an idea or consciousness, it does not exist in essence.

46. 必须肯定，任何人的道德行为，乃至其它一切行为，只要不完全是外力作用的结果，只要其中存在行为者本身的意识选择，哪怕是潜意识的作用，那么，行为总是要符合行为者本人的某种意愿、欲望、情感和价值观念，否则，行为本身就不可思议了。正是在也只能在这个意义上，我们才能说，无论“我”以任何方式表现任何行为，作为行为者“我”的主观目的，总是“为了我”。在这里，“为了我”与“我”的行为，恰象如来佛的手心同神通广大的孙悟空，孙悟空的本事再大，他也无法跳出如来佛的手心。

46. It must be affirmed that any person's moral behavior, and indeed all other behaviors, as long as they are not solely the result of external forces, and as long as there exists the consciousness and choice of the actor, whether it is the influence of the subconscious, the behavior is always in line with some intention, desire, emotion, and value concept of the actor themselves. Otherwise, the behavior itself would be unimaginable. It is only in this sense that we can say, regardless of how "I" manifest any behavior in any way, the subjective purpose of the actor "I" is always "for myself." Here, "for myself" and "I" behaviors are just like the palm of the Buddha and the all-powerful Sun Wukong, no matter how great Sun Wukong's abilities are, he cannot escape from the palm of the Buddha.

47. 仅在这一点上，纯自私论的见解是颇为深刻的。

47. On this point alone, the purely egoistic perspective is quite profound.

48. 但是，虽然纯自私论者注意、强调了任何人的道德行为必然要符合行为者本人的某种意愿、欲望、情感和价值观念这一共同点，然而，纯自私论忽略了道德行为背后的动机、意识的差异，因而难以使人接受。它无法对下述现象作出令人信服的解释：A、“我”为了得到他人的钱财供自己享乐，于是杀了人，夺取了他人的钱财，这是为了“我”。

48. However, although pure egoists notice and emphasize the common point that any person's moral behavior must conform to the will, desires, emotions, and values of the actor themselves, pure egoism ignores the motivations and differences in consciousness behind moral behavior, making it difficult to accept. It cannot provide a convincing explanation for the following phenomenon: A, "I" killed someone to obtain their money for my own enjoyment, seized their wealth, which was for "me."

49. B、“我”为了赚钱，在没有弄虚作假的前提下，我为他人提供了某种商品或服务，而后赚了钱，这是为了我。

49. B, "I" provided certain goods or services to others for profit, without engaging in any fraudulent activities, and earned money in the process, which was for my own benefit.

50. C、“我”认为人应为国家、民族、社会、他人的利益服务才是有价值的、崇高的、光荣的。因此，“我”选择了牺牲自己，以有利于国家、民族、社会、他人的行为。由于这种选择符合“我”

50. C: "I" believe that serving the interests of the country, nation, society, and others is valuable, noble, and glorious. Therefore, "I" have chosen to sacrifice myself in actions that are beneficial to the country, nation, society, and others. Because this choice is in line with "I",

51. A、B、C三类行为，就客观社会效果而论，其差别显而易见，A类行为是“损人利己”，B类行为则是“利人利己”，C类行为是“舍己利人”，这恐怕没有异议。

51. Regarding the objective social effects, there is a clear distinction among the three types of behavior: A, B, and C. Type A behavior is characterized as "harming others for personal gain," type B behavior is "benefiting both oneself and others," and type C behavior is "sacrificing oneself for the benefit of others." This should not be controversial.

52. 就主观意识、动机方面看呢？三类行为背后的观念、动机都符合行为者“我”的某种欲望、意愿、情感、价值观念，这一点是共同的。问题是，差别呢？差别是存在的！在A类行为背后，不仅存在“为了我”的观念动机，而且存在“为了我，可以甚至必须牺牲他人利益”的观念；B类行为亦存在“为了我”的观念，但同时又存在“我要兼顾他人利益”的观念，虽然，很可能只是把兼顾他人利益作为满足自身利益的手段；C类行为背后的主观意识又怎样呢？“我认为这样做，才正确，才光荣，才崇高，所以我这样做了”，“我”这样做符合我的价值观念，因此，这也是“为了我”。然而，就在“我”的价值观念中，存在“应为国家、民族、社会、他人利益服务”的意识。在这里，只有“应为国家、民族、社会、他人利益服务”的意识，才符合“我”的价值观念，否则，我就不这样做。因此，在“我这样做，符合我的价值观念”

52. Regarding subjective consciousness and motivation, the ideas and motivations behind the three types of behavior all align with the desires, intentions, emotions, and values of the actor 'I'. This is a common point. The question is, what about the differences? Differences do exist! Behind Type A behavior, there is not only the idea and motivation of 'for me', but also the idea of 'for me, I can and must sacrifice the interests of others'; Type B behavior also has the idea of 'for me', but at the same time, there is the idea of 'I need to consider the interests of others', although it is likely that this is just a means to satisfy one's own interests; as for the subjective consciousness behind Type C behavior, how is it? 'I believe that doing this is right, honorable, and noble, so I did it,' and 'I' doing this aligns with my values, so this is also 'for me'. However, within 'I' values, there is the consciousness of 'should serve the interests of the country, nation, society, and others'. Here, only the consciousness of 'should serve the interests of the country, nation, society, and others' aligns with 'I' values; otherwise, I would not do it. Therefore, in 'I do this, it aligns with my values,'

53. 的意识中，己经包含了“应为国家、民族、社会、他人利益服务”

53. In the consciousness, there has already been included the idea of "should serve the interests of the country, the nation, the society, and others."

54. 的观念。而A、B两类行为背后并不具备“我可以牺牲”的意识。

54. The concept. However, the A and B types of behavior do not possess the consciousness of "I can sacrifice."

55. 由此看来，三类行为背后的主观意识、动机的差异是存在的。既然如此，如果笼而统之将三类行为背后的观念、动机通称为“自私”（利己），就不便将三种有差异的观念、动机进行区分。此是纯自私论的最大缺陷，也是人们不接受它的关键所在。

55. It can be seen that there are differences in the subjective consciousness and motives behind the three types of behavior. Since this is the case, it is inconvenient to distinguish between the three different ideas and motives behind the three types of behavior by collectively referring to them as "egoistic" (self-interested) as a whole. This is the biggest flaw of pure egoism theory, and also the key reason why people do not accept it.

56. 为了不仅在行为的社会效果上，而且在观念、动机上区别三种行为及背后的观念、动机，我以为不妨将A、B两类称为自私，（其中A类又可称为恶性自私，B类可称为合理自私，后面还将谈到。）C类可称为无私。

56. In order to differentiate the three types of behavior and the underlying ideas and motivations not only in terms of their social effects but also in terms of ideas and motivations, I think it is not bad to call types A and B "egoistic" (where type A can be referred to as "malicious egoistic" and type B as "rational egoistic," which will be discussed later), and type C "altruistic."

57. 研究自私，自然就引出无私来了，本文不准备详尽研究无私，但提一下，也是不可避免的。

57. Studying selfishness naturally leads to the discussion of selflessness. This article does not intend to thoroughly explore selflessness, but mentioning it is inevitable.

58. 如果将自私等同于利己主义，无私则可等同于“利他主义”（或称“无条件利他主义”，以区别形式上的利他、实质上为我的利己主义），作为一种观念、动机和行为，无私是指“牺牲自己的利益直至生命，以单方面为了别人的利益。”当利他主义者实施利他的行为时，他“无意要求同样的回报，不是为了从对方获取相应的报酬而有意这样做。他的利他行为、观念相对地不受社会奖惩的影响。”⑤这里关于利他主义的解释，完全是借用美国学者威尔逊的描述。虽然仍可能不够精确，但作为与利己主义相区分的对立的概念，还是相当有用。

58. If selfishness is equated with egoism, then altruism can be equated with "unconditional altruism" (or "absolute altruism" to distinguish it from altruistic actions that are merely formal and essentially egoistic), as a concept, motive, and behavior. Altruism refers to "sacrificing one's own interests and even life for the sole sake of others." When an altruist engages in altruistic actions, they "do not expect any return, and they do not intentionally do so with the purpose of obtaining a corresponding reward from the other party. Their altruistic actions and ideas are relatively unaffected by social rewards and punishments."⑤ The explanation of altruism here is entirely borrowed from the description by the American scholar Wilson. Although it may still not be entirely precise, as a contrasting concept that differentiates from egoism, it is still quite useful.

59. 人的利益有两极，一是个体的利益，一是整个人类的利益。因此，可将自私与无私分为两极，一极是为了单个人的利益的观念、行为，可称“绝对自私；”另一极是为了全人类的利益的行为、观念，可称为“绝对无私。”介于两极的“中间地带”，那些为了朋友、家庭、集团、派别、地方、民族、国家的利益的观念及行为，既可称为无私，又可视为自私，全看以什么样的利益关系作参照。恰于公与私是相对的，可分层次的，自私也一样可分层次，这是自私相对性的第二个意思。

59. The interests of humans have two poles: one is the interest of the individual, and the other is the interest of the entire human race. Therefore, selfishness and altruism can also be divided into two poles. One pole consists of ideas and actions for the benefit of a single individual, which can be called "absolute selfishness"; the other pole consists of actions and ideas for the benefit of the entire human race, which can be called "absolute altruism." In the "gray area" between the two poles, those ideas and actions for the benefit of friends, families, groups, factions, regions, nations, and countries can be called both altruistic and selfish, depending on the reference of what kind of interest relationship is being considered. Just as public and private are relative and can be stratified, so too can selfishness be stratified, which is the second meaning of the relativity of selfishness.

60. 例如：母亲为了儿子的利益，可以牺牲自己的一切，即使儿子的行为是反社会的也罢。仅就母亲与儿子之间的利益关系看，母亲是无私的，但就母亲儿子与社会、他人的利益关系看，母亲又是自私的。

60. For example: A mother can sacrifice everything for her son's benefit, even if her son's actions are anti-social. From the perspective of the interest relationship between a mother and her son, the mother is selfless. However, from the perspective of the interest relationship between the mother, son, society, and others, the mother is also selfish.

61. 认识自私的相对性，对于回答自私是人类存在即存在，还是人类发展到一定阶段的产物这个问题，有十分重要的启示。

61. Understanding the relativity of selfishness is of great significance in answering the question whether selfishness is an inherent part of human existence or a product of a certain stage of human development.

62. 一种理论认为，古代社会（原始社会的早期、中期）人是不自私的，由于生产力水平决定生产资料公有，共同劳动，使得个人利益总是溶于集体利益之中。生活在这个时代的个体成员，没有个人私利可言, 总是把集体的利益置于个人利益之上。为了集体的利益或其他成员的利益，个体乐于牺牲自己。然而，持这种理论的思想家、理论家又用他们所了解到的、关于这个时代的历史知识告诉人们，生活在该时代的群体（氏族、部落、部落联盟）之间也会为了争夺猎场、牧区等发生冲突，也就是说，一方面群体内没有个体之间的利益冲突，另一方面却存在群体之间的利益冲突。如何解释两种不同的现象？

62. A theory holds that in ancient societies (the early and middle stages of primitive society), people were not selfish. Because the level of productive forces determined that means of production were collectively owned, and the collective labor, individual interests were always blended with collective interests. Individuals living during this era had no personal interests to speak of; they always placed the collective interests above individual interests. For the collective interests or the interests of other members, individuals were willing to sacrifice themselves. However, the thinkers and theorists who hold this theory also use their understanding of historical knowledge about this era to tell people that groups (clans, tribes, tribal confederations) living in that era would also clash over hunting grounds, grazing areas, etc. That is to say, on one hand, there is no conflict of interests between individuals within the group, but on the other hand, there is a conflict of interests between groups. How to explain these two different phenomena?

63. 问题：群体内没有“为了我”的利益冲突，但群体之间，却存在“为了我们”的利益的冲突。

63. Question: There is no conflict of interest "for me" within the group, but there is a conflict of interest "for us" between groups.

64. 假设必须是“为了我”（个体）的利益才可称为“自私”，“为了我们”（群体）的利益就不能称为自私，或只能称为“无私”，那么，当现代社会的法西斯集团的个体成员为了其集团的利益而不惜牺牲个人生命的时候，（如日本的神风队员）是不是也不能称这些法西斯分子是自私的呢？或者,我们还必须称他们为大公无私者呢？

64. If an assumption is that only interests for "me" (the individual) can be called "egoistic," while interests for "us" (the group) cannot be called egoistic, or can only be called "altruistic," then when individual members of a fascist group in modern society sacrifice their personal lives for the benefit of their group (such as the kamikaze pilots of Japan), is it not also appropriate to not consider these fascists as egoistic? Or do we have to call them selfless heroes instead?