在纷繁复杂的人际交往中，保持独立是维系友谊圈的重要法则。本文将探讨朋友交往中的三大非原则，以期在人际关系的海洋中，寻得一片宁静的港湾。

In the complex and intricate world of interpersonal relationships, maintaining independence is an important rule for maintaining a circle of friends. This article will explore the three non-principles in friend interactions, in the hope of finding a tranquil harbor amidst the ocean of human relationships.

1. 第二，是在思想上独立，保留自己的交际圈。恋爱时，一定要给彼此保留个人空间，而不是整天粘着对方，即使你非常迷恋他，边应该克制，不要过度依赖，给对方造成压力。恋爱前你有你的朋友圈子，恋爱后也不要为了男人而放弃自己的交际，不要一门心思全部放在男人身上，应该保留自己原有的生活空间。

1. Secondly, it is to be independent in thought and maintain one's own social circle. When in a relationship, one must always reserve personal space for each other, rather than cling to each other all day. Even if you are very smitten with him, you should exercise self-control and not over-rely on him, as this can put pressure on the other person. Before the relationship, you have your own circle of friends, and after the relationship, you should not give up your own social circle for the sake of a man. Don't put all your focus on the man, and instead, maintain the original space of your own life.

2. 第五，凡事要有自己的主见，不要完全听从他。不要一味迁就他，今天你迁就，明天你迁就，后天你又迁就，他会被你宠坏，会忽略你的想法和感受，变得自私霸道。而你因为长期迁就和忍受，内心会很痛苦，也会心生怨恨，最后矛盾积累多了，难以收场。

2. Fifthly, always have your own opinions and don't listen to him completely. Don't keep accommodating him; if you accommodate him today, and him again tomorrow, and him yet again the day after tomorrow, you will spoil him. He will ignore your thoughts and feelings and become selfish and domineering. And because of the long-term accommodation and endurance, you will feel very painful in your heart and may harbor resentment. In the end, when the contradictions accumulate to a point, it will be difficult to resolve.

3. 知乎上有个提问：什么时候可以下决心断绝一段关系？

3. There is a question on Zhihu: When can one decide to cut off a relationship?

4. 还有些人，曾经熟悉，但随着时过境迁，年深日久，原来的身影已经淡出记忆的荒原。各自走上不同的人生轨迹，驶向不同的远方。既然再无交集，也就不必惦记，各安天涯，各自安好。

4. There are also some people who were once familiar, but with the passage of time and the deepening of years, their original figures have faded into the desolate wilderness of memory. Each has taken a different path in life, heading towards different distant lands. Since there is no longer any intersection, there is no need to worry about them, let each one rest in their respective corners of the world, and live well in their own way.

5. 最高赞的回答是：当这段关系带给我的能量，远低于对我的消耗的时候。

5. The highest-voted answer is: When the energy this relationship brings me is far less than the energy it consumes from me.

6. 因此，外在美需要您努力保持，锻炼，护肤，化妆，瑜伽，让您的身体更加完美。看着脸的社会只能用你的脸来征服你的男神。

6. Therefore, outer beauty requires your efforts to maintain, exercise, take care of your skin, apply makeup, do yoga, and make your body more perfect. In a society that judges by appearances, you can only conquer your Mr. Right with your face.

7. 地位悬殊的人，不高攀。不熟悉的人，不强融。消耗自己的人，便远离。

7. Do not court high status with those of a lower rank. Do not force yourself into the company of strangers. And keep away from those who drain your energy.

8. 社会学上有一个“鳄鱼效应”，讲的是当你被鳄鱼咬住一只腿时，最好的选择是舍掉这只腿，赶紧逃生，而不是与鳄鱼鳄鱼周旋。纠缠不清，只会遭受更大的损失。

8. In sociology, there is a concept known as the "crocodile effect," which refers to the idea that when you are bitten by a crocodile and only one leg is caught, the best choice is to sacrifice that leg and quickly escape, rather than struggling with the crocodile. Entanglement will only lead to greater losses.

9. 阿坤是我的高中同桌兼舍友，一直关系很好。大学毕业后，他开始炒外汇，赚了不少钱。尝到甜头的他似乎看到了人生逆袭的可能。为了追加投资，他打电话找我借钱。我看他曾经是一个靠谱而谨慎的人，就借了2万元。没成想他输个精光，债台高筑，接着又屡次找我接济生活费。我不胜其烦，又抹不开情面，多次遭受损失。

9. Ah Kun was my high school classmate and dormmate, and we had always maintained a good relationship. After graduation from university, he started trading foreign exchange and made a lot of money. Having tasted the sweetness of success, he seemed to see the possibility of an upset in life. To increase his investment, he called me to borrow money. Considering that he used to be a reliable and cautious person, I lent him 20,000 yuan. Little did I expect that he would lose everything, accumulate a mountain of debt, and then repeatedly ask me for help with his living expenses. I was tired of it, and couldn't bring myself to turn him down, suffering multiple losses in the process.

10. 事实上，在爱情中保持新鲜感的能力指的是管理关系的能力。坠入爱河并不是一件非常简单的事情。给予另一半情绪价值，是一种稀缺的能力。或者说，这也是一种爱的能力。为什么明明已经有男朋友了，我还是会如此孤独？因为无论你拥有多少物质，拥有什么名分，但是你最需要的还是——你的心有人可以看见、可以深入的交流。你的感受，有人可以回应。哪怕这个回应不在预期，引起争论，但至少不是一扇紧闭的大门，或者是那种你拨的用户不在服务区的空虚。

10. In fact, the ability to maintain freshness in love refers to the ability to manage a relationship. Falling in love is not an easy thing. Providing emotional value to your partner is a rare ability. Or, it is also a form of love ability. Why do I still feel so lonely even though I have a boyfriend? Because no matter how much material wealth you possess or what title you hold, what you most need is still—your heart is visible to someone, and you can engage in deep communication. Your feelings can be responded to. Even if the response is not as expected, it may lead to arguments, but at least it's not a closed door, or the hollow feeling of trying to reach someone who is out of service.

11. 当然，物以类聚，人以群分。并不是每一个有交集的人都能进入你的朋友圈，也不是朋友圈的每一个人都是你的朋友。学会给朋友圈做断舍离，删除不必要的人，留下需要真心以待的人，让生活干净、真挚，我们会活得更轻松而从容。

11. Of course, things of the same kind gather together, and people group by interest. Not everyone who has an intersection with you can enter your circle of friends, and not everyone in your circle of friends is a true friend of yours. Learn to edit and eliminate from your circle of friends, delete unnecessary people, and keep those who need your sincerity, making life clean and genuine. This way, we will live more relaxed and composed.

12. 每个人都是独立的灵魂，要找到与自己相契的人，十分艰难。有的时候，我们交朋友的欲望很强烈，打入各种圈子，接触形形色色的人，而真正能够引起共鸣的，实在寥寥无几。

12. Everyone is an independent soul, and it is very difficult to find someone who resonates with you. Sometimes, our desire to make friends is very strong, we join various circles, and come into contact with all sorts of people, but the ones that truly resonate are actually very few.

13. 你的朋友圈，只能引进和你同一层次的人。如果对方地位高贵，即便引进了，也只是摆设，不会跟你有实质的交流，和对等的友谊。地位悬殊的人，不必攀附，否则就会自取其辱。

13. Your social circle should only include people of the same level as you. If the other person holds a high status, even if they are introduced, they will only be a decoration and will not engage in substantial communication or an equal friendship with you. It is not necessary to attach yourself to someone of a vastly different status; otherwise, you may only bring shame upon yourself.

14. 我们应该在对方面前始终保持一种乐观开朗的心态，不要像林黛玉那样总是在他面前愁眉不展，更不要动不动就在他面前哭泣或耍小性子，以引起他的关注。时间长了，会使对方感到厌烦和心累，并认为你是一个容易受伤的人。

14. We should always maintain an optimistic and cheerful attitude in front of the other person, do not always frown in front of them like Lin Daiyu, and definitely don't easily cry or throw a tantrum in front of them to attract their attention. Over time, this will make the other person feel annoyed and tired, and they may think of you as someone who is easily hurt.

15. 第三，要以自己的正事为主。我们可以恋爱，但也要注意，不要荒废了自己的正事，比如学习、工作等。

15. Thirdly, prioritize your own affairs. While we can engage in romantic relationships, we should also be mindful not to neglect our own responsibilities, such as studying and working.

16. 《三十而已》里的顾佳，一心想要挤进富太太们的朋友圈，认为这样就可以获得高质量的人脉，帮助丈夫的事业发展。为此，她花费十万元，买了一个名贵手包，只为提高自己的品位，得到太太们的认可。

16. Guo Jia from the TV series "30 Years Old and Still," is eager to break into the social circle of wealthy wives, believing that doing so will allow her to gain high-quality connections to help her husband's career. For this purpose, she spent 100,000 yuan on a luxury handbag, solely to elevate her own taste and win the recognition of the other wives.

17. 朋友圈已经成为我们认识朋友和其他人的最好方式之一。每当我们加一个好友，必然会先去他的朋友圈看一看。每天，我们都通过朋友圈了解别人的生活。我们也会评论或赞扬别人的生活。同样，其他人也会评论和赞扬我们的生活。朋友圈已经成为我们的社交方式之一。

17. The circle of friends has become one of the best ways for us to get to know friends and others. Whenever we add a friend, we inevitably first take a look at their circle of friends. Every day, we learn about others' lives through their circles of friends. We also comment on or praise others' lives. Similarly, others also comment on and praise our lives. The circle of friends has become one of our social ways.

18. 我尝试着跟他们打交道，想把他们转化为现实中的朋友，切磋砥砺，共同进步。可是愿意回应的并不多，很多情况只是耗费时间的敷衍。

18. I tried to interact with them, hoping to turn them into real-life friends, to learn from each other and progress together. However, not many were willing to respond, and many situations were just a waste of time with superficial responses.

19. 他是你是恋人，但同时也是别人的儿子与兄弟，允许对方有自己的好友圈，就如同女生也需要闺蜜，也需要陪伴父母一样，男人也需要朋友和亲人。你也不要忽略了自己的朋友和家庭，不要为了恋爱，抛弃和伤害爱你的人的感情。

19. He is your lover, but he is also someone else's son and brother. Allow him to have his own circle of friends, just as girls also need best friends and need to spend time with their parents. Men also need friends and family. You should not ignore your own friends and family either, and do not abandon or hurt the feelings of those who love you for the sake of romance.

20. 一位作家说：“能入我心者，待之以诚。不入我心者，不屑敷衍。”

20. A writer said, "I treat with sincerity those who can enter my heart. I disdain to feign interest in those who cannot."

21. 那些给你的生活、事业和心情，造成负面影响的，都是消耗你的人。远离他们，就远离了生命里的阴霾，就能看见阳光铺满人生。

21. Those who bring negative impacts to your life, career, and mood are the ones who drain you. By keeping away from them, you can also distance yourself from the gloom in your life and see the sunshine fill your journey.

22. 与其费尽心机去攀附，不如扎扎实实沉淀自己，提高自己的能力和层次。当你站到高处，才能水到渠成地交往到高处的人。

22. It's better to focus on solidly cultivating yourself and improving your abilities and level than to go to great lengths to attach yourself to others. Only when you stand at a high position can you naturally and smoothly interact with people of higher status.

23. 结果，别人根本对她不屑一顾，她还被合谋骗得倾家荡产。

23. As a result, she was utterly disregarded by others, and she was even deceived into losing all her wealth through a conspiracy.

24. 小蒋来到单位后，百般讨好“一把手”。送土特产，宴请，言语巴结，端茶递水，在朋友圈给领导点赞，逢迎点评。看似跟领导关系走得很近，但始终没能进入领导的私人圈子，还被同事鄙视，把“马屁精”变成他的代名词。

24. After Xiao Jiang arrived at the unit, he went to great lengths to please the "top person." He sent local specialties, hosted banquets, flattered with words, served tea and water, gave likes to the leader on social media, and made flattering comments. It seemed like he had a close relationship with the leader, but he was never able to enter the leader's private circle and was even looked down upon by his colleagues. The nickname "sycophant" became synonymous with him.

25. 但是你有没有想过，那些频繁的朋友圈会非常招人厌恶。面对这些问题看看高情商的人怎么做。高情商的人绝对不会高调的炫耀，比如今天我买了个包，发个朋友圈，这个包花了我多少钱。其实炫耀是证明自己过得很充实，这个方式一次可以，可形式多了，在别人眼中会以为你是炫耀。

25. But have you ever thought that those frequent posts on social media can be very annoying? Look at how emotionally intelligent people handle these issues. Emotionally intelligent people would never boast loudly, like posting on social media today about buying a bag and how much it cost. In fact, boasting is a way to prove that one is living a fulfilling life, and it may be acceptable once. However, if the form becomes too frequent, others might perceive it as boasting.

26. 我曾根据自己的爱好，主动进入了一些微信群，比如文学交流，诗词写作，读书会，不一而足。里面都是未曾谋面的陌生人，都有各自的拿手本领，有的还是某些行业的精英。

26. I have主动 joined some WeChat groups based on my own interests, such as literary exchange, poetry writing, reading clubs, and so on. The members are all strangers I have never met, each with their own special skills, and some of them are even elite figures in certain industries.

27. 与人相处，最容不得勉强。勉强自己，心头不乐。勉强别人，适得其反。增进自己的修养，懂得待人的礼仪，心怀善良，尊重差异，至于能和谁成为朋友，顺其自然就好。

27. In dealing with people, it is the most intolerable to force. Forcing oneself is not pleasant in the heart. Forcing others has the opposite effect. Cultivate one's own character, understand the etiquette of treating people, be kind-hearted, respect differences, and as for who you can become friends with, just let it be natural.

28. 第一，要在经济上独立。一但跟谁谈恋爱或爱上了谁，就把对方当作最依赖的人，经济上过多依赖男方。时间一长，男方也会嫌你是负担，不可能一直的容忍下去，俗话说：拿人手短。你受惠于他，便要受气于他。到时候你的日子就不好过了。

28. First, one must be economically independent. Once you start dating someone or fall in love with them, you treat them as the most dependent person, economically relying too much on the man. Over time, the man might also find you a burden and it's impossible for him to tolerate it indefinitely. As the saying goes: receiving a favor from someone also means you have to endure their mistreatment. By then, your life will become difficult.

29. 不要对方做什么事情，你都去插一脚，给对方足够适合的时间与自由，让他在做自己喜欢的事情，以及一些必要的事情时不去打扰，如玩游戏，看书，运动，工作加班等，或者你也可以培养相同的爱好。

29. Don't interfere in everything the other person does. Give them enough time and freedom, allowing them to engage in their favorite activities and necessary tasks without interruption, such as playing games, reading, exercising, or working overtime. Alternatively, you can also cultivate similar hobbies.

30. 给对方空间的前提是能做到相互信任，不要随随便便的查看对方的手机通常，短息，以及各种社交软件里的内容等，给予对方尊重，这样也能得到对方的尊重与信任。

30. The premise of giving space to the other person is to be able to trust each other. Do not casually check the other person's phone, messages, and contents in various social media apps, etc. Show respect to the other person, which can also earn their respect and trust.

31. 朋友的价值，在于共情和利益互补。你们不在同一高度，即便再巴结讨好，也无益于事。

31. The value of a friend lies in empathy and complementary benefits. If you are not on the same level, no matter how much flattery and讨好 you offer, it will be of no benefit.

32. 有些人，不仅不能给你带来正向的帮助，还不断地消耗你，把你干净、安定的生活搅扰得一片狼藉，拉低你的生活质量。

32. Some people not only fail to provide you with positive assistance, but also continuously drain you, turning your clean and peaceful life into a mess, and lowering your quality of life.

33. 学会给自己的朋友圈做减法，留住真正值得交往的人，清除多余的人。

33. Learn to do subtraction for your social circle, keeping only those truly worth interacting with, and getting rid of the unnecessary people.

34. 朋友相处，都有一个渐进地互相熟悉和了解的过程。没有一步到位的感情，没有一厢情愿就可以结识的朋友。人生路上，与谁擦肩，与谁结缘，冥冥中自有定数，又何必强融进别人的生活呢。

34. When friends interact, there is always a gradual process of getting to know and understand each other. There is no immediate emotional connection, nor can one simply wish to meet a friend. On the journey of life, with whom to cross paths, and with whom to form a connection, is predestined by fate. So, why force oneself into someone else's life?

35. 朋友干净了，生活就温暖了。

35. When friends are clean, life becomes warm.

36. 高调展示，无休止的抱怨，工作中的抱怨。情商高的人永远不会把这三种信息和朋友圈在一起，因为他们知道这三种信息发送得越多，就越烦人。最重要的是你不能改变你生命中的一点点。好了就烦想到这，希望对你的生活有帮助。

36. Boasting, endless complaining, and complaining at work. People with high emotional intelligence would never mix these three types of information with their social circle, because they know that the more these types of information are shared, the more irritating they become. Most importantly, you can't change even the slightest bit of your life. Well, that's烦想到这，I hope it helps with your life.

37. 一年后，他为了躲债，销声匿迹。一次又给我打电话，说他正努力打工，承诺还我钱。但现在赶上一个好机会，希望我再次给他借钱投资。听他如此说，我拉黑可他。只要断绝交往，及时止损，才不会被他继续消耗。

37. One year later, to evade his debts, he disappeared without a trace. He called me again once, saying he was working hard to earn money and promised to repay me. But now he's caught a good opportunity and hopes I'll lend him money to invest. After hearing him say this, I blocked him. Only by cutting off contact and stopping the loss in a timely manner can I avoid being continuously drained by him.

38. 你不能停留在另一边，你应该在剩下的时间里不断给自己充电。两个人都应该拥有自己的朋友圈，不要互相干涉，在经济上独立。两个人之间有共同的兴趣爱好，工作时都不互相打扰并保持独立。偶尔打破一成不变的生活，来一点小小的惊喜。不要太听从对方的话，太过顺从的对象会让对方感到无趣。给对方一些隐私空间，如果恋爱后的两个人什么事都一起做，后来就会变得厌倦了。

38. You cannot linger on the other side; you should keep charging yourself throughout the remaining time. Both individuals should have their own social circles and not interfere with each other; they should be financially independent. They should have common hobbies and interests, not disturb each other while working and maintain their independence. Occasionally, break the monotonous routine and add a bit of small surprise. Don't be too compliant to the other person's words; too compliant of a partner can make the other person feel bored. Give the other person some privacy, as if the two of them do everything together after dating, they will get tired of it later.