在深邃的内心世界里，他们懂得接纳而非抗拒，如同波澜不惊的湖水，映照着生活的每一道光影。

In the profound depths of their inner world, they understand the art of acceptance rather than resistance, like a tranquil lake that mirrors the light and shadows of life.

1. 冥想的刻意练习套路：最小行动起步（三秒禅）；找到交流渠道；寻求专业帮助；自我觉醒，与自己和他人建立链接，能让人更加靠近天性。想起武志红在奇葩大会上举的一个例子，他认识过最能做自己的人，总有能力得到他人的配合，和平的实现自己的想法，在不伤害他人的前提下，拥有“想干嘛就干嘛”的自由。

1. The deliberate practice routine of meditation: starting with the minimum action (three-second Zen); finding communication channels; seeking professional help; self-awareness, and establishing connections with oneself and others, can make people closer to their nature. I remember an example mentioned by Wu Zhihong at the "Stranger's Conference." He knew the most self-actualized person, who always had the ability to get others' cooperation, peacefully realize his own ideas, and have the freedom to "do whatever one wants" without harming others.

2. 接受痛苦的五个阶段，可能是跳跃式进行；也可能会倒退。这种非线性的发展也不应只局限在情绪感受中。人的五种感官里，疼痛是唯一一种无法适应的感觉，无论接不接受。精神上的痛苦会因为接纳开始减轻，因为对抗造成更多困扰。对抗的是自身负面情绪带来的糟糕感受或者与他人情绪态度相互影响直至互相伤害。结果就是和自己赌气或者与人好好说话无能。越来越发觉“接纳”是个庞大的词汇。几乎是“全然”、“允许”、“平静”还有很多一时想不到的寓意强大的词汇集合。很像《奇葩大会》上一个即兴喜剧演员说的“yes，and？”这种态度。

2. The five stages of accepting pain can be跳跃式进行; they may also regress. This nonlinear development should not be confined only to emotional experiences. Among the five senses of a person, pain is the only sensation that cannot be adapted, whether one accepts it or not. Emotional suffering can begin to ease as acceptance sets in, whereas resistance only causes more trouble. Resistance involves negative emotions from within or emotional interactions with others that lead to mutual harm. The result is frustration with oneself or the inability to have a good conversation with others. Increasingly, one realizes that "acceptance" is a vast term. It is almost a collection of powerful words like "wholeness," "permission," "calm," and many more that come to mind. It resembles the attitude of a improvisational comedy actor from the show "The Oddball Conference," who said "yes, and?" This attitude.

3. 我们都渴望改变命运，在短暂的人生中做出一点成绩，证明自己的生命能量，赢得别人的尊重，过上更高品质的生活。

3. We all yearn to change our destiny, to achieve something in our fleeting lives, to prove the vitality of our lives, win others' respect, and live a higher-quality life.

4. “我”是个动词。每一个圣人都有过去，每一个罪人都有未来。幸福感三要素：高兴、投入/心流时间、有意义/价值感

4. "I" is a verb. Every sage has a past, and every sinner has a future. The three elements of well-being: happiness, engagement/flow time, meaningfulness/value.

5. 我们曾如此期待别人的认可，可由不得我们，在乎的结果，就是不断消耗自己，成为让人更加讨厌的人。

5. We have so eagerly awaited others' recognition, but being unable to control it, the result that matters is that we constantly deplete ourselves and become someone even more disliked.

6. 再比如理解，别人能理解我们最好了，别人理解不了的时候我们也要接纳他们的不理解。每个人的想法不一样，看世界的视角也不一样，因此不理解才是常态。

6. For example, understanding: others can understand us the best, and when they can't understand, we should also accept their lack of understanding. Everyone has different thoughts and different perspectives on the world, so not understanding is the norm.

7. 同样，修行的人也要允许别人发脾气。因为是个人都有脾气。有脾气不是问题，不允许自己和别人发脾气，才是问题。

7. Similarly, those who practice the path should also allow others to lose their temper. After all, everyone has a temper. Having a temper is not the problem; the problem is not allowing oneself or others to lose their temper.

8. 既然如此，就要学会接受，允许它们的发生。接受亲人和自己的生老病死，接受生命的无常，接受树欲静而风不止，子欲养而亲不待。

8. Since this is the case, one should learn to accept and allow them to happen. Accept the births, old ages, illnesses, and deaths of loved ones and oneself, accept the impermanence of life, accept that when the tree desires to be still, the wind does not cease, and when the child desires to nourish, the parent is not there to be cared for.

9. 内心强大的人，懂得自己力量的局限性，“岂能尽如人意，但求无愧我心”，拼尽全力之后，能够对结局顺其自然，允许一切发生，能够接受生命中所有的缺憾和事与愿违。

9. People with inner strength understand the limitations of their own power, and they believe, "It's impossible to satisfy everyone, but I only seek to have no regrets in my heart." After exerting their utmost effort, they can accept the outcome as it is, allowing everything to happen as it may, and they can accept all the shortcomings and mismatches in life.

10. 我们之所以想要得到别人的理解，尤其是自己亲近的人的理解，根本原因是自己内心不够强大，没有完全接纳自己，肯定自己，所以才想要别人的理解。

10. The fundamental reason why we want to gain others' understanding, especially from those close to us, is that we are not strong enough internally, have not fully accepted ourselves, nor positively affirmed ourselves, hence the desire for others' understanding.

11. 体会情绪，从身体感受上找答案，隐藏的真实需求会逐渐显现。慈爱的目的是体谅，体谅的目的是和解，对自己也是对他人。 自我觉醒能够帮助人在感觉糟糕的时候，意识到自我的存在。总是试图改变客观环境或改造他人而不成，要问问自己是执念太深还是智慧太少。

11. Experience emotions, seek answers from physical sensations, and hidden real needs will gradually emerge. The purpose of kindness is to show compassion, and the purpose of compassion is reconciliation, for oneself as well as for others. Self-realization can help a person realize their existence when feeling bad. If one always tries to change the objective environment or reform others without success, one should ask oneself whether it is due to too much attachment or too little wisdom.

12. 自我觉醒即时刻保持觉察力，觉察当下自己的情绪，身体的感受，从情境中抽离，用“第三只眼”观察，把自己从沉迷或执念中揪出来。长期冥想可以增厚大脑灰质，增强免疫力，每天一小时，持续6周会发生质的改变。不用担心总有杂念跑出来，心静下来，有杂念也是冥想的一部分。冥想不是目的，生活本身才是。个人理解为正念练习，一呼一吸，一举一动，一草一木皆能当作正念的对象。

12. Self-awareness means maintaining mindfulness at all times, being aware of one's own emotions and physical sensations, detaching oneself from the situation, observing with the "third eye," and pulling oneself out of indulgence or attachment. Long-term meditation can thicken the gray matter of the brain, enhance immunity; a daily session of one hour, sustained for six weeks, can bring about qualitative changes. Don't worry that distracting thoughts will always pop up; when the mind is calm, even distracting thoughts are part of the meditation. Meditation is not the goal; life itself is. I personally understand it as a practice of mindfulness, where every breath, every movement, every blade of grass and tree can be an object of mindfulness.

13. 这个世界万事万物的发展，都不以人的意志为转移。你想要的越多，得到的越少。期待的越多，实现的越少。如果你总是和这个世界较劲，希望有些事情按照自己的意愿发展，那你一定会无比失望，痛苦不已。

13. The development of all things in this world does not shift according to human will. The more you want, the less you get. The more you expect, the less you achieve. If you always argue with this world, hoping that some things develop according to your own wishes, you will definitely be extremely disappointed and suffer greatly.

14. 其中，生老病死，是一个人怎么也绕不开的魔咒，会让一个人倍感痛苦。

14. Among them, the birth, old age, illness, and death are a curse that one can never evade, and they can bring great suffering to a person.

15. 首先全然接纳自己的一切，包括阳光的一面和阴暗的一面，好的一面和坏的一面，接纳自己的积极情绪和负面情绪，接纳自己的不完美。甚至无分别心地对待这一切分裂，因为看似对立分裂的事物本质上都是一体的。

15. First and foremost, completely accept yourself as you are, including both the sunny and dark aspects, the good and the bad, as well as your positive and negative emotions. Accept your imperfections. Even treat all these divisions without discrimination, because in essence, things that seem to be opposite and divided are all part of an integrated whole.

16. 如果我们知道向内探索，知道自己本自具足，内心足够强大有力量，我们就不再渴求别人的理解了。正真厉害的人，从来都不需要别人的理解。

16. If we know to explore inwardly, and know that we are inherently complete, with a sufficiently strong and powerful inner self, we will no longer crave others' understanding. The truly formidable people never need others' understanding.

17. 先解决情绪，再解决问题。解决情绪关键动作，放慢呼吸、温暖身体。品尝情绪：情绪来了防沉迷，带着好奇心感受，去辨别、观察。对于负面情绪做出拒绝，即假装没有；对抗和压抑的反应，都是对痛苦感受的喂养。品尝痛苦就像嚼口香糖，即使是炫迈，也会有嚼到没味儿的时候。把痛苦的感受嚼干净，心也就静了。画地为牢、固步自封的真相是“自我隔离”，也解释了为什么有人对于很多人事物总是习惯性拒绝的态度。看起来好像是不在乎人际关系，不 care别人的看法，其实是没有能力和别人开始互动，建立连接，最难的是破冰。

17. First address the emotions, then tackle the problems. The key moves to resolve emotions are to slow down your breathing and warm your body. Taste the emotions: when emotions arise, avoid being overwhelmed. Feel them with curiosity, distinguishing and observing them. For negative emotions, show resistance, as if they don't exist; reactions of confrontation and suppression are feeding the feeling of pain. Tasting pain is like chewing gum – even the longest-lasting gum will eventually lose its flavor. Chew the feeling of pain thoroughly, and your heart will become calm. The truth behind the self-imposed boundaries and self-limitation is "self-isolation," which also explains why some people always have a habitual attitude of refusal towards many things and people. It may seem like they don't care about interpersonal relationships or others' opinions, but in reality, they lack the ability to start interactions with others, establish connections, and the hardest part is breaking the ice.

18. 也就是说，接纳自己和别人的坏情绪，去察觉它，感受它，表达它，让它自然而然地来，自然而然地走，不要与之对抗。

18. That means to accept both your own and others' negative emotions, to perceive them, feel them, and express them; let them come naturally and go naturally, without fighting against them.

19. No！全然接纳不是全盘接受，不是忍气吞声，不是委曲求全，而是允许一切的发生，允许一切如其所是，从内心深处认为一切的发生都是有原因的，都是必然的。

19. No! Total acceptance is not about accepting everything wholeheartedly, not about enduring in silence, not about making compromises for the sake of peace, but about allowing everything to happen as it is, allowing everything to be as it is, and deeply believing in the heart that everything that happens has a reason, that it is inevitable.

20. 所以，遇到让自己不舒服的人和事，首先要学会去察觉自己的内心，到底是什么让自己不舒服了，自己又是在对抗什么？

20. Therefore, when encountering people and things that make you uncomfortable, the first thing to learn is to be aware of your inner self, what exactly makes you uncomfortable, and what are you fighting against?

21. 周老师说： 修行，不可能使一个人没有脾气，而是使人允许自己有脾气，该发时就全然地发，发完就完了，没有痕迹。

21. Teacher Zhou said: Cultivation does not make a person脾气-free, but rather allows oneself to have脾气. When it is time to express it, one should do so fully and completely, and then it is over, leaving no trace.

22. 如果通过全力以赴的努力，可以实现目标，固然可喜可贺。但如果事不随人愿，你已经很努力了，依然穷困潦倒，你已经无能为力了，依然只是一个为一家生计奔波的普通人，那也不必悲伤和抱怨，接受自己的穷困潦倒，安于平凡，把似水流年的日子过好，就是对人生最好的成全。

22. It is indeed something to be celebrated if, through wholehearted efforts, one can achieve their goals. But if things do not go as one wishes, and despite your best efforts, you are still impoverished and destitute, feeling helpless, and remain just an ordinary person struggling to make a living for your family, there is no need to feel sad or complain. Accept your state of poverty and destitution, be content with the ordinary, and make the most of the fleeting years of your life. This is the best fulfillment of life.

23. 因为越是对抗，越是痛苦。只有全然接纳，才会放下，心才会自由。

23. The more opposition there is, the more painful it becomes. Only by fully accepting, can one let go, and then the mind will be free.

24. 活着的时候就好好生活，大限来了就从容赴死。

24. Live well while you're alive, and face death with calm when your time comes.

25. 纪元老师的《哪有没时间这回事》，傻瓜级可操作工具，帮助发现大把被忽略的时间，提高生活和工作效率。

25. Teacher Ji Yuan's "There's No Such Thing as No Time," a傻瓜-level easy-to-use tool, helps discover a lot of time that has been overlooked and improves the efficiency of life and work.

26. 内心强大的人，不是对抗，而是允许发生。

26. A strong person does not resist, but allows it to happen.

27. 我们来到这个世界，是因为不得不来。我们离开这个世界，是因为不得不走。我们会生病，会衰老，也是生命的必然现象，谁也改变不了。

27. We come to this world because we have to. We leave this world because we have to. Getting sick and aging are also inevitable phenomena of life, which no one can change.

28. 情绪困在身体里，人被困在情绪里。也就是说，当失去理智是，我们其实身处双重牢笼。对于情绪来说，表达即释放。就像一个快被吹爆的气球，想要放气，可以用针扎，用脚踩，可以完全撒手任它满屋子游窜；也可以捏着出气口让空气均匀平和的排放。只是前者可能会吓到人或者最后落在不该落的地方，后者除了气球变小外什么都不会发生。发泄情绪和表达情绪的差别只怕有过之无不及。情绪本无正负之分，由情绪引起的攻击和破坏的行为，把能量分出了正负。

28. Emotions are trapped within the body, and people are trapped within their emotions. That is to say, when we lose our reason, we are actually in a double prison. For emotions, expression is a form of release. Just like a balloon that is about to burst, to let out the air, you can either prick it with a needle, stomp on it with your foot, or completely let it go so it floats around the room; you can also squeeze the air outlet to release the air evenly and calmly. The former might scare people or end up in places it shouldn't, while the latter will only result in the balloon shrinking. The difference between venting emotions and expressing emotions is probably even greater. Emotions themselves have no positive or negative distinction; it is the aggressive and destructive behavior caused by emotions that separates energy into positive and negative.

29. 画地为牢、固步自封的真相是“自我隔离”，也解释了为什么有人对于很多人事物总是习惯性拒绝的态度。看起来好像是不在乎人际关系，不 care别人的看法，其实是没有能力和别人开始互动，建立连接，最难的是破冰。

29. The truth behind the "build a prison by drawing lines" and "stick to one's ways" is "self-isolation," which also explains why some people always tend to adopt a habitual attitude of refusal towards many things and people. It may seem like they don't care about interpersonal relationships or others' opinions, but in reality, they lack the ability to start interaction with others, establish connections, and the hardest part is breaking the ice.

30. 举个例子，关于发脾气。好多人以为修行就是为了让自己不发脾气，为了让自己能忍受别人发脾气。可如果有情绪不去发泄，而是硬忍着，假装很平静的话，身体迟早会憋出毛病，很多癌症都是情绪积压所导致的。

30. For example, let's talk about losing one's temper. Many people think that practicing Buddhism is about not losing one's temper, about being able to endure others' temper tantrums. However, if emotions are not vented and one merely endures them, pretending to be calm, the body will eventually suffer from problems. Many cancers are caused by the accumulation of repressed emotions.

31. 莫言曾言：

31. Mo Yan once said:

32. “真正的强大，不是对抗，而是允许发生，允许遗憾，愚蠢，丑恶，虚伪，允许付出没有回报，当你允许这一切之后，你会逐步变成一个柔软放松舒展的人，也就是一个无比强大的人。”

32. "True strength is not in resistance, but in allowing things to happen, allowing regrets, foolishness, ugliness, and hypocrisy. Allow for effort without return. When you allow all of this, you will gradually become a soft, relaxed, and expansive person, which is also an immensely strong individual."

33. 如果你的能力只能让你穷困潦倒，那么穷困潦倒就是你的价值。

33. If your abilities can only lead you to poverty, then poverty is your value.

34. 哲思

35. 很多人以为修行就是去改变自己，去适应别人。其实，修行不是改变，而是全然接纳。接纳一切的发生，接纳自己的不完美，接纳别人的不完美，接纳一切如其所是，而非如我所愿。作者以智慧的笔触，准确地表达了这种大包容的修行境界，深读细悟，必有所获！特别

36. 好多人包括我在内，可能都对修行的理解存在一个误区，认为修行就是要改变自己，强迫自己去接受一切。

34. Philosophical Thoughts 35. Many people believe that cultivation is about changing oneself, adapting to others. In fact, cultivation is not about change, but about complete acceptance. Accept everything that happens, accept one's own imperfections, accept others' imperfections, accept everything as it is, rather than as I wish it to be. The author, with a wise pen, accurately expresses this state of great tolerance in cultivation. Deep reading and careful contemplation will definitely yield results! Particularly 36. Many people, including myself, may have a misconception about cultivation, thinking that it is about changing oneself, forcing oneself to accept everything.

37. 你接受人生的遗憾和残缺，平静如水，遗憾和残缺就不会是痛苦。你不接受，不允许，又改变不了，那你注定要遭受折磨。

37. You accept the regrets and imperfections of life with a calmness like water, then regrets and imperfections will not be painful. If you do not accept, do not allow, and cannot change them, then you are destined to suffer.

38. 甚至于，父母爱不爱你不重要，子女和伴侣爱不爱你也不重要，亲戚朋友、同事同行爱不爱你都不重要。你只需要自己爱自己，并能以正确的态度和方式对待别人。

38. Even more so, it doesn't matter whether your parents, children, or partners love you, nor does it matter whether your relatives, friends, colleagues, or peers love you. What matters is that you love yourself, and that you can treat others with the correct attitude and manner.

39. 其实不然，修行不是去改变什么，而是全然接纳。全然接纳是什么呢？是不管外界发生了什么，不管别人怎么伤害自己，都忍气吞声，全盘接受吗？

39. In fact, that is not the case. Practice is not about changing anything, but about complete acceptance. What does complete acceptance mean? Is it about silently enduring and accepting everything, regardless of what happens externally or how others hurt you?

40. 每个人都渴望得到别人的喜欢，这是马斯洛心理学里“爱与尊重”的需要。然而现实中，无论你怎么表现，总有人不喜欢你。

40. Everyone yearns for the liking of others, which is the need for "love and respect" in Maslow's psychology. However, in reality, no matter how you act, there will always be people who do not like you.

41. 西藏活佛说：“你接纳什么，什么就消失，你反对什么，什么就存在，如果你不明白你的敌人是你自己，你会把所有时间、精力用在改变别人，最后一无所得。”

41. The Living Buddha of Tibet says, "What you accept will disappear, and what you oppose will exist. If you don't understand that your enemy is yourself, you will spend all your time and energy trying to change others, only to end up with nothing."

42. 当然，说起来容易，做起来难。所以才要修行。

42. Of course, it's easy to say but difficult to do. That's why we need to cultivate ourselves.

43. 人生有八苦：生老病死，怨憎会，爱别离，求不得，放不下。

43. Life has eight sufferings: birth, old age, illness, death, meeting with the disliked, separation from loved ones, not obtaining what one seeks, and being unable to let go.

44. 打得过就打，打不过就跑，是人类面对外界危险的本能反应，如果用这种方式来处理内心感受，无疑是在外界刺激后，由自己对自己进行的二次伤害。人总是在缺失与过度补偿之间来回摇摆。就像一个饿了很久的人，在得到第一餐饭的时候，很难不吃撑。接纳，可以在缺失与过度补偿之间趋于平衡，带人走出原始的防御状态，进入更人性的状态。接纳的是感受与情绪。书名很鸡汤，实际是自我疗愈的一套方法—静观自我关怀。

44. "If you can fight, fight; if you can't, run," is an instinctive human response to external dangers. Using this approach to deal with internal feelings is undoubtedly a form of secondary harm to oneself after external stimuli. People are always swinging between deficiency and excessive compensation. Just like a person who has been hungry for a long time, it's hard not to overeat when they finally get their first meal. Acceptance can help balance between deficiency and excessive compensation, leading people out of the primitive defensive state and into a more humane state. What is accepted are feelings and emotions. The book title may sound like feel-good advice, but it is actually a set of self-healing methods—Mindful Self-Compassion.

45. 不要太在乎别人对你的态度，你只需做好自己，至于别人喜不喜欢，那是别人的事。

45. Don't worry too much about others' attitudes towards you. Just do your own thing, and whether others like it or not is their own business.