在人际交往的艺术中，善言良行是基石，言谈举止间彰显个性，独立自主则是灵魂所在。在这个纷繁复杂的世界里，我们如何修炼这门艺术，成就更好的自己？

In the art of interpersonal communication, good words and actions are the foundation, and one's personality is reflected in their speech and behavior. Independence and autonomy are the soul of this art. In this complicated world, how can we cultivate this art and become a better version of ourselves?

1. 互利的原则：指交往双方的互惠互利。人际交往是一种双向行为，故有"来而不往、非理也"之说，只有单方获得好处的人际交往是不能长久的。所以要双方都受益，不仅是物质的，还有精神的，所以交往双方都要讲付出和奉献。

1. Principle of mutual benefit: Refers to the mutual benefit between the two parties involved in the interaction. Human interaction is a two-way behavior, hence the saying "not to reciprocate is not reasonable." Interactions where only one party benefits cannot last long. Therefore, both parties should benefit, not only in terms of material things but also in spirit. Hence, both parties should talk about making sacrifices and contributions.

2. 但是同时，不论是和谁相处，都应该注意的礼仪有：别人说话的时候应该认真听着，而不是玩手机，戴耳机等，要目视着对方，表现出对对方的尊重。在别人给你提出意见的时候，要认真的接受，不管你接受与否都等对方先说完，认真思考过后再决定要不要接受，还要懂得分享，不要一个人独占。

2. However, at the same time, there are certain etiquette that should be observed in dealing with anyone, regardless of whom you are with: when others are speaking, one should listen attentively instead of playing with your phone or wearing headphones, maintaining eye contact to show respect for the other person. When others offer you advice, you should accept it seriously, regardless of whether you agree or not, wait for the other person to finish speaking first, and then carefully consider whether or not to accept it. You should also learn to share and not hoard everything for yourself.

3. 人际交往能力的含义: 社会交往能力是指妥善处理组织内外关系的能力包括与周围环境建立广泛联系和对外界信息的吸收、转化能力，以及正确处理上下左右关系的能力

3. The meaning of interpersonal communication ability: Social communication ability refers to the ability to properly handle relationships both within and outside the organization, including the ability to establish extensive connections with the surrounding environment and to absorb and transform external information, as well as the ability to correctly handle relationships between superiors, subordinates, and peers.

4. 人际交往是协调一个集体关系、形成集体合力的纽带。而一个良好的集体，能促进青年学生优良个性品质的形成。如正义感、同情心、乐观向上等都是在民主、和睦、友爱的人际关系中成长起来的。良好的人际关系还能够增进学生集体的凝聚力，成为集体中最重要的教育力量。 人际交往是人与人之间的一种互动。良好的人际交往能力是积极向上的，反之，不利于个体的全面健康的发展。

4. Interpersonal communication serves as the bond for coordinating collective relationships and forming collective synergy. A good collective can promote the formation of excellent personality qualities among young students, such as a sense of justice, compassion, and optimism. These qualities grow up in a democratic, harmonious, and loving interpersonal relationship. Good interpersonal relationships can also enhance the cohesion of the student collective, becoming the most important educational force within the collective. Interpersonal communication is a form of interaction between people. Good interpersonal communication skills are positive and upward, whereas the opposite is不利于 the comprehensive and healthy development of the individual.

5. 孔子曾说过："独学而无友，则孤陋而寡闻"。人际交往，可以帮助我们提高对自己的认识，以及自己对别人的认识。在人际交往的过程中，彼此从对方的言谈举止中认识了对方。同时，又从对方对自己的反应和评价中认识了自己。交往面越宽，交往越深，对对方的认识越完整，对自己的认识也就越深刻。只有对他人的认识全面，对自己认识深刻，才能得到别人的理解、同情、关怀和帮助，自我完善才可能实现。

5. Confucius once said, "If one studies alone without friends, one will be narrow-minded and have few acquaintances." Interpersonal interactions can help us improve our self-awareness as well as our understanding of others. During the process of interpersonal communication, one gets to know the other person through their words and actions. At the same time, one also gains self-awareness through the other person's reactions and evaluations of them. The wider the scope of interaction, the deeper the relationship, the more complete the understanding of the other person, and the more profound the self-awareness. Only with a comprehensive understanding of others and a deep self-awareness can one receive others' understanding, sympathy, care, and help, and self-improvement becomes possible.

6. 说话有分寸，是一种修养，更是为人处世的一种智慧。

6. Speaking with measure is a kind of修养, and it is also a kind of wisdom in dealing with people and the world.

7. 在和平辈交往的过程中，虽然不用像和长辈交往时那么拘谨，但是也应该注意一些礼仪，表现出自己的涵养。说话不要大声喊叫，说话的时候不要用手指着人，这样会显得很没有礼貌。在和朋友吃饭的时候，要注意给夹不到菜的朋友夹菜，和女生出去的时候要在保持正常距离的时候照顾一下女生。

7. In the process of socializing with peers, although one does not need to be as拘谨 (stiff) as when interacting with elders, one should still pay attention to etiquette and show one's cultivation. Do not speak loudly or shout; do not point at people while talking, as this is very impolite. When eating with friends, be mindful to pass dishes to those who cannot reach them; when going out with girls, take care to maintain a proper distance while also showing consideration for them.

8. 一个城府很深的人，往往是情绪非常稳定的人，所谓喜怒不形于色。 他会非常注意保护好自己的情绪，以免外泄，他很少让他人看出自我的内心世界的变化。

8. A person with a deep mind often has very stable emotions, as the saying goes, "his joy and anger do not show on his face." He pays great attention to protecting his own emotions, so as not to leak them out, and he rarely allows others to see the changes in his inner world.

9. 那人愕然。苏格拉底说，第一个筛子，你说的是否真实？第二个筛子，这件事有没有告诉我的必要？第三个筛子，你说这件事是否心怀善意？

9. The person was taken aback. Socrates said, "The first sieve, are you speaking the truth? The second sieve, is there a need to inform me of this matter? The third sieve, are you saying this matter with good intentions?"

10. 关于解决问题能力的培养，我们不妨借鉴一下IBM培养职工的方法，IBM对此能力的培养有五大步骤：

10. Regarding the cultivation of problem-solving ability, we might take a leaf out of IBM's approach to employee training. IBM has five steps for cultivating this ability:

11. 处理日常学习生活的各种问题，是我们最重要的责任。但是，当问题接踵而来，而且复杂度不断升高的同时，如何有系统地找出问题的成因，对症下药，以最有效率的方式解决问题，就是考验我们解决问题能力的时候了。

11. Addressing all sorts of issues in our daily study and life is our most important responsibility. However, when problems come one after another and their complexity keeps increasing, how to systematically identify the root causes of the problems, target the solutions, and solve them in the most efficient way is the moment when our problem-solving abilities are tested.

12. 我们希望通过对人际交往的特点以及交往的原则的认识与理解，可以从中领悟到交往的一些知识。结合这些特点与原则，找到合适的方法培养我们的人际交往能力，促进我们自身的人际关系。

12. We hope that through the recognition and understanding of the characteristics of interpersonal interaction and the principles of communication, we can gain some knowledge about interaction. By combining these characteristics and principles, we can find appropriate methods to cultivate our interpersonal communication skills and promote our own interpersonal relationships.

13. 二要适量。适量的社交口才还包括声音大小适量。大庭广众之中说话音量宜大一点，私人拜访交谈音量宜适中，如果是密友、情人间交谈，小声则可以表现亲密无间、情意绵绵的特殊关系，给人一种亲切感。这些都是在社交场合与人交谈应该掌握的技巧。

13. Second, be moderate. Appropriate social eloquence also includes controlling the volume of one's voice. In public gatherings, speaking at a louder volume is preferable, while during private visits and conversations, a moderate volume is more appropriate. If it's between close friends or lovers, speaking softly can show an intimate and affectionate relationship, giving off a sense of warmth and closeness. These are all skills that should be mastered when communicating with others in social settings.

14. 一个人，他有了一个信念，并且有为了这个信念去奉献一生毅力。又足够强大的心理素质，以至于在遇到任何情况时，都能坚持自己的信念，不会给别人带跑偏。他还有强大洞察力，判断能力和计算能力，他的智商让其足以驾驭任何情况和任何人，来为他的信念去奋斗。

14. There is a person who has a belief and dedicates his entire life's perseverance to it. He also possesses a strong psychological constitution, enabling him to persist in his beliefs in any situation and not be swayed by others. He has a keen insight, judgment, and computational abilities, and his intelligence allows him to handle any situation or person, fighting for his beliefs.

15. 平等的原则：社会主义社会人际交往，首先要坚持平等的原则，无论是公务还是私交，都没有高低贵贱之分，要以朋友的身份进行交往，才能深交。切忌因工作时间短，经验不足，经济条件差而自卑，也不要因为自己是大学毕业生、年轻、美貌而趾高气扬。这些心态都影响人际关系的顺利发展。

15. The Principle of Equality: In the interpersonal interactions of a socialist society, the first principle to adhere to is equality. Whether in official or private relationships, there should be no distinction of status or dignity. One should interact as a friend in order to foster deep relationships. It is important not to feel inferior due to a short work experience, insufficient experience, or poor economic conditions. Similarly, one should not become overly proud or conceited because of being a university graduate, being young, or being beautiful. These attitudes can all hinder the smooth development of interpersonal relationships.

16. 这种倾向判断行为的好坏和别人的道德性格的人，不但容易忽略别人的心理状态，也较容易因为对人多作以偏概全的评价而产生偏执和成见。已有研究证据证明，在美国相信性格是不可改变的人，比相信性格是可以改变的人对社会上的少数族群成见较深。在香港地区，我们也发现相信道德是不可改变的人，和相信道德是可以改变的人相比，较歧视内地人士。譬如，他们会觉得内地的人有较多负面特征，较少正面特征，他们也觉得内地的人在香港犯了法，应该受到较严厉的处分。

16. Those who judge the goodness or badness of others' behavior and moral character are not only prone to ignore others' psychological states but are also more likely to develop prejudices and biases due to overgeneralizing evaluations of individuals. Existing research evidence shows that in the United States, people who believe that personality is unchangeable tend to hold deeper prejudices against minority groups in society than those who believe that personality can be changed. In the Hong Kong region, we also found that those who believe that morality is unchangeable are more discriminatory towards mainlanders compared to those who believe that morality can be changed. For instance, they may perceive mainlanders as having more negative traits and fewer positive traits, and they might also think that mainlanders who commit crimes in Hong Kong should be subjected to stricter punishment.

17. 对自己负责的这个调查，天津师范大学教育科学院心理研究所主任贾晓波教授认为，调查结果表明，越来越多的大学生意识到，人际交往能力的欠缺已经成为求职路上的"拦路虎"。据贾教授介绍，良好的社交心理素质与人际交往技巧不是与生俱来的，只有在社会化过程中不断地接受系统训练才能习得。而目前，人际交往能力的培养恰恰是教育教学内容中的薄弱环节。

17. In this investigation that he is responsible for, Professor Jia Xiaobo, the director of the Institute of Psychology at the College of Education of Tianjin Normal University, believes that the survey results indicate that an increasing number of college students are aware that a lack of interpersonal communication skills has become a "roadblock" on their path to employment. Professor Jia introduced that good social psychological quality and interpersonal communication skills are not innate; they can only be acquired through continuous systematic training during the process of socialization. Currently, the cultivation of interpersonal communication skills is exactly the weak link in the educational and teaching content.

18. 当自己蓄积了足够的能量，拥有足够的本事，待时而动，趁势而起，那么，众人会被你惊艳，世界就给你的人生，点缀上五彩云霞。

18. When one has accumulated enough energy, possesses sufficient ability, waits for the right moment, and rises with the tide, then, people will be amazed by you, and the world will adorn your life with the splendor of colorful clouds and rainbows.

19. 见到那人摇头，苏格拉底说，既然经不起三个筛子的过滤，那请你还是不要开口吧。

19. Seeing that man shake his head, Socrates said, "Since you cannot withstand the filtering of the three sieves, then please do not open your mouth."

20. 由此可见，相信性格不可改变的人较重视评估别人的性格和道德，而相信性格是可以改变的人则较留心别人的行为动机和做事的情绪状态。

20. Therefore, it can be seen that those who believe that personality is immutable tend to place more emphasis on evaluating others' personality and morality, while those who believe that personality can be changed are more attentive to others' behavioral motives and emotional states when they act.

21. 在和晚辈交往的时候，就要表现出一些长辈的样子，说话不能没大没小，要给晚辈做好榜样，做事稳重一点，在晚辈遇到困难的时候，要尽心尽力的帮助。

21. When interacting with younger people, one should behave like an elder, not speaking without distinction of age. You should set a good example for them, be more stable in your actions, and offer all the help you can when they encounter difficulties.

22. 人际交往能力就是在一个团体、群体内的与他人和谐相处的能力，人是社会的人，很难想象，离开了社会，离开了与其他人的交往，一个人的生活将会怎样？有人存在，必须与人交往。当我们走上社会的时候，我们会与各种各样的人物打交道，在与人交往中，你能否得到别人的支持、帮助，这里就会涉及到自身能力的问题。我以为，我们在校学习期间，就要培养自己与同学、与教师、与领导、与职工打交道的能力。与同学交谈，可以论争不同的学术观点，可以谈对社会现象的不同认识，在论辩中提高自己的思辩能力；与老师交谈，可以交流读书心得，理清不同的思想认识，可以从中受到启迪；与领导交谈，可以充分交流自己对问题的不同见解，也许可以锻炼自己在领导面前不怯场；与职工打交道，你可以了解到他的工作状况和不同的心态。善于与人交际，你会从中学到很多书本上学不到的东西。

22. Interpersonal communication skills refer to the ability to live harmoniously with others within a group or organization. As social beings, it is hard to imagine how one's life would be without society or interactions with others. One must interact with others to exist. As we step into society, we will encounter a variety of people. Whether we can gain others' support and help in our interactions involves the issue of our own abilities. I believe that during our time in school, we should cultivate our ability to interact with classmates, teachers, leaders, and staff. Conversing with classmates can allow us to debate different academic viewpoints, discuss different understandings of social phenomena, and improve our reasoning abilities through argumentation; conversing with teachers can enable us to exchange reading insights, clarify different ideological understandings, and be inspired by them; conversing with leaders can allow us to fully express our different perspectives on issues, perhaps even exercising our ability to remain confident in front of leaders; interacting with staff can give us insight into their work conditions and different mental states. Being good at communication will enable you to learn many things that cannot be learned from books.

23. 培养开朗、活泼的个性，让对方觉得和你在一起是愉快的。

23. Cultivate a cheerful and lively personality, making the other person feel that being with you is enjoyable.

24. 一旦和人翻脸，就不要再心存期待。翻过脸的人，内心有了裂缝，无论如何破冰，都不能回到从前。

24. Once you have a falling out with someone, don't hold any expectations. People who have fallen out have cracks in their hearts, and no matter how much you try to thaw the ice, you can never return to the past.

25. 有人说，独处也是一种能力，具备这种能力并不意味着不再感到寂寞，而在于安于寂寞并使之具有生产力。

### Translation: 25. Some say that solitude is also a skill, and possessing this skill does not mean no longer feeling lonely. Instead, it lies in accepting loneliness and making it productive.

26. 在我们的研究中，曾向受测者描述一个人的行为，然后请他们将这个人的资料转述给另一位受测者听。在转述过程中，有些人自发地加入了一些对故事人物的性格和道德判断（例如"他是一个贱人"），而有些人则主动地对故事人的的内心世界加入剖析（例如"因为他想取得律师资格，所以对有权势的人所做的坏事视若无睹"）。

26. In our study, participants were described a person's behavior and then asked to recount the details to another participant. During the recounting process, some spontaneously added character and moral judgments about the story character (e.g., "He is a scoundrel"), while others actively analyzed the inner world of the story character (e.g., "Because he wanted to become a lawyer, he turned a blind eye to the bad deeds done by powerful people").

27. 大学生情感丰富，在紧张的学习之余，需要进行彼此之间的情感交流，讨论理想、人生，诉说喜怒哀乐。人际交往正是实现这一愿望的最好方式。通过人际交往，可以满足大学生对友谊、归属、安全的需要，可以更深刻、更生动地体会到自己在集体中的价值，并产生对集体和他人的亲密感和依恋之情，从而获得充实的、愉快的精神生活，促进身心健康。

27. University students are emotionally rich. Besides the intense academic study, they need to engage in emotional exchanges with each other, discuss ideals and life, and express joy, sorrow, happiness, and sadness. Social interaction is the best way to fulfill this desire. Through social interaction, university students can satisfy their needs for friendship, belonging, and security. It allows them to more deeply and vividly perceive their own value within the collective, and to develop a sense of intimacy and attachment to the group and others, thereby obtaining a fulfilling and pleasant mental life and promoting their physical and mental health.

28. 对环境的辨析能力是社交能力的一个重要部分。一个人如果能够对情境间的细微不同之处加以区分，往往更能掌握社交环境的变化而做出合宜的行为，以适应不同性质、千变万化的环境。

28. The ability to discern the environment is an important part of social skills. A person who can distinguish the subtle differences between situations is often better at grasping the changes in the social environment and making appropriate behaviors to adapt to different types and ever-changing environments.

29. 在日常的人际交往中，懂得社交礼仪的人总是能获得很好的人缘，并且能结交很多的朋友，可见社交礼仪的重要性，同时，有些社交礼仪是人人必须掌握的，是做人的基本准则。

29. In daily interpersonal interactions, people who understand social etiquette always have good interpersonal relationships and can make many friends. This shows the importance of social etiquette. At the same time, there are some social etiquette that everyone must master and it is a basic principle of being a person.

30. 有的人说话不经大脑，口无遮拦，信口雌黄，不仅得罪别人，也给别人留下“狗嘴里吐不出象牙”的印象，让人反感。

30. Some people speak without thinking, with no filter, and talk nonsense. Not only do they offend others, but they also leave an impression on others that "a dog's mouth cannot produce tusks," which is quite repulsive.

31. 在这项研究中，我们也测量了受测者与父母、师长、朋友和不喜欢的人交往的成果，发现越倾向性格道德判断的人，他们的社交能力便越差。反之，越倾向作内心剖析的人，他们的社交能力也就越高。

31. In this study, we also measured the outcomes of the subjects' interactions with their parents, teachers, friends, and people they do not like. We found that those who are more inclined towards moral judgment of character tend to have poorer social skills. Conversely, those who are more inclined to introspection tend to have higher social skills.

32. 这种"因时制宜"的说法，并非只是近代西方心理学所提倡。其实在中国古代典籍中亦常被提到。例如《中庸》说："国有道，共言足以兴国；国无道，其默足以容。"这便说明了进谏及保持缄默都是合宜的处事方法，但朝臣采取哪种方法才可产生较理想的后果，却取决于他们身处的国家是有道还是无道之国。又以本章开头提及的杨修为例，他是个机智的才子，但他所服侍的主公曹操是个性格多疑的人。杨修自恃聪明而多次道破曹操的心意，故招来杀身之祸。若他的主公是个宽宏大量，知人善用的人，杨修不但不会被杀，反而会被委以重任。虽然有人会慨叹杨修生不逢时，但若以"因时制宜"的说法，杨修似乎只顾一时言语之快，却忽略对方（曹操）的思想性格，因而说出一些合乎事实但不合对方心意的话，白白地把性命断送了。由此可见，要成功地达成社交目标，便要审裁客观情势的变化，因时变通，以适应各种各类的社交情境。

32. This concept of "adjusting to the times" is not only promoted by modern Western psychology. It is also frequently mentioned in ancient Chinese classics. For example, the book "The Doctrine of the Mean" says: "When the country is on the right path, speaking out is enough to revitalize the nation; when the country is not on the right path, silence is enough to endure." This explains that both speaking out and keeping silent are appropriate ways of dealing with situations, but which method a court minister adopts to achieve a more ideal outcome depends on whether the country they are in is a nation on the right path or not. Taking the example of Yang Xiu mentioned at the beginning of this chapter, he was an intelligent and talented scholar, but the master he served, Cao Cao, was a suspicious person. Yang Xiu, relying on his intelligence, repeatedly revealed Cao Cao's intentions, thereby attracting his own death. If his master had been a magnanimous and discerning person, Yang Xiu would not have been killed, but instead would have been entrusted with important responsibilities. Although some may lament that Yang Xiu was not in the right time, according to the concept of "adjusting to the times," it seems that Yang Xiu only cared about the temporary satisfaction of his words, ignoring the thoughts and personality of the other person (Cao Cao), and thus said some things that were in accordance with facts but not to the other person's liking, thereby losing his life in vain. From this, it can be seen that in order to successfully achieve social goals, one must judge the changes in the objective situation, adapt to various social situations, and change with the times.

33. 对环境的辨析能力要有效地达到社交目标，便要因应情势而作出相应的行为。社交环境瞬息万变，交往的对象亦有不同的特质，要适应不同社交环境、人物，便非要有精锐的观察和认知能力不可。

33. In order to effectively achieve social goals through the ability to discern the environment, one must behave accordingly in response to the situation. The social environment is ever-changing, and the individuals involved also have different characteristics. To adapt to different social environments and individuals, one must possess sharp observation and cognitive abilities.

34. 真正可怕的是，你看到的一个人的表面人格是真实的，但其最深沉的人格也是真的。但这两者却是不一样的，就像双层人格一样。

34. What is truly terrifying is that the surface personality of a person you see is real, but so is their deepest personality. However, these two are different, just like a dual personality.

35. 三要订出可能的解决方案：邀请同仁脑力激荡，最重要的是把这些结果用有系统的方式整理出来，依照是否能真正解决问题，是否能获得管理阶层支持，以及是否可付诸实行等原则排出顺序。

35. To formulate possible solutions: invite colleagues for brainstorming sessions, and most importantly, organize these results systematically. Prioritize them based on whether they can truly solve the problem, whether they can gain support from management, and whether they can be implemented.

36. 情绪稳定往往能让他人更容易相信他们，而沉默是金则让他们懂得话语的力量与话语的权威。所以在城府人的眼里，情绪稳定与沉默是金都成为自我人格面具的最好掩饰。

36. Emotional stability often makes others more likely to believe them, while the saying "silence is golden" teaches them the power and authority of words. Therefore, in the eyes of cunning individuals, emotional stability and the value of silence both become the best veils for their self-character masks.

37. 洞察别人的心理状态也是社交能力重要的一环。一些人看到别人的行为时，不尝试去了解对方做事时的处境和感受，便马上从别人的行为去判断对方是一个怎样的人。这种重判断而轻了解的取向，是社交能力发展的一大障碍。

37. Understanding others' psychological states is also an important aspect of social skills. Some people, when they see others' behavior, do not try to understand the situation and feelings of the other person when they are doing things, but instead immediately judge the character of the other person based on their behavior. This orientation that emphasizes judgment over understanding is a major obstacle to the development of social skills.

38. 也有研究显示，和相信性格可以改变的人相比，觉得性格是不可改变的人比较喜欢评鉴别人的行为。他们看到别人做了一件事情后，便有较大的倾向马上评价这行为是好还是坏。由于他们专注于评估行为本身的好与坏，便较容易忽略行为发生的背景和行事者的心理状态了。

38. Studies also show that compared to those who believe that personality can be changed, those who think personality is unchangeable are more inclined to judge others' behavior. After seeing someone do something, they are more likely to immediately evaluate whether the behavior is good or bad. Because they focus on assessing the goodness or badness of the behavior itself, it is easier for them to overlook the background in which the behavior occurs and the psychological state of the person performing the behavior.

39. 一要定义并理清问题：先收集资料并分析，确定问题确实存在之后，将问题写下来，成为每个人都可以了解的陈述，将问题具体化，使相关人员明了。

39. First, define and clarify the issue: Collect and analyze information first, confirm that the problem indeed exists, then write down the problem as a statement that everyone can understand, specify the issue, and make it clear to the relevant personnel.

40. 庸俗的人，用热闹填补空虚。厉害的人，用独处成就自己。

40. Ordinary people fill their emptiness with noise and bustle. Talented people achieve themselves through solitude.

41. 培养幽默风趣的言行，幽默而不失分寸，风趣而不显轻浮，给人以美的享受。与人交往要谦虚，待人要和气，尊重他人，否则事与愿违。

41. Cultivate humorous and witty言行, humorous without losing decorum, witty without appearing trivial, bringing people aesthetic enjoyment. Be humble in social interactions, be amicable in dealing with others, and respect others, otherwise the outcome may be contrary to your wishes.

42. 据报载山东大学社会学系选取在济南举办的两场高校毕业生招聘会，现场发送1500份问卷，对今年高校毕业生供需状况进行了调查分析，结果表明:用人单位在招聘时最看重的是学生的综合素质，而大学生的能力则成为用人单位关注的重点,特别是人际交往能力

42. According to reports, the Sociology Department of Shandong University selected two graduate job fairs held in Jinan to distribute 1500 questionnaires on-site. The survey and analysis conducted on the supply and demand situation of this year's university graduates showed that: employers place the most emphasis on students' comprehensive quality when recruiting, and the abilities of college students have become the focus of employers' attention, especially interpersonal communication skills.

43. 一味的善良，温柔敦厚，老实本分，非但不会得到别人的善意和尊重，还会被人任意拿捏，肆意欺凌，成为人人都可以蹂躏的软柿子。

43. Excessive kindness, gentleness, honesty, and straightforwardness not only fail to earn others' goodwill and respect, but also make one susceptible to being manipulated and bullied at will, becoming a soft target that anyone can trample upon.

44. 真正城府沉的人，是善于控制情绪，知道在什么样的场合使用什么样的表情和情绪的人，甚至他们会为了取得别人的信任，而故意暴露自己的心理弱点。

44. A truly cunning and reserved person is someone who is skilled at controlling their emotions, knows how to use different expressions and emotions in different situations, and may even intentionally expose their psychological weaknesses to gain others' trust.

45. 人们在这两种情境中，均可以选择细心地观察周遭的危险讯号。譬如，在第二个处境中，可以留心恐怖分子有什么武器。他们也可以尽量分散注意力，不去注意一些会令自己紧张的危险信号。当然，在见牙医的处境中，主动地监察危险信号只会令自己更紧张，肌肉收得更紧，痛苦愈多。但在被胁持的处境中，留心危险信号可以提高逃生的机会。接受测试的人当中，有些人较能辨析两种情境的不同，在见牙医的处境中选择分散注意力，在被胁持的处境中选择观察环境。有些人的辨析能力则明显较低，在不同的情境中也选择观察环境。

45. In both situations, people can choose to carefully observe the surrounding danger signals. For example, in the second situation, one can be attentive to what weapons the terrorists might have. They can also try to distract their attention from certain danger signals that might make them feel tense. Of course, in the dentist's situation, actively monitoring danger signals will only make one more tense, causing the muscles to tense up more, and increasing the pain. However, in the hostage situation, being aware of danger signals can increase the chances of escape. Among the people who took the test, some were better at distinguishing between the two situations, choosing to distract their attention in the dentist's situation and observing the environment in the hostage situation. Others had a significantly lower ability to discern, choosing to observe the environment in both situations.

46. 五要推动解决方案并追踪结果：进行之前先给予'成功'的定义，在过程中不断检视决策的推行情况，并树立各阶段里程碑，确保行动达成目标。

46. 5. To promote solutions and track results: Define 'success' before initiating the process, continuously monitor the implementation of decisions, establish milestones at each stage, and ensure that actions achieve the goals.

47. 有些人认为人际交往能力是与生俱来的特质或属性。譬如，一个社交能力高的人天生较外向、善于交际。所谓"江山易改，本性难移"，要改变人际交往能力实比移山更为艰难。多数的心理学家并不赞同这种看法。反之，他们认为只要能辨认出可以预测人际交往能力的因素，便可以设计一些课程来培训这种能力。

47. Some people believe that interpersonal communication skills are innate traits or attributes. For instance, a person with high social skills is naturally more outgoing and adept at interacting with others. As the saying goes, "Mountains can be moved, but one's nature cannot be changed," it is actually more difficult to change interpersonal communication skills than to move a mountain. Most psychologists do not agree with this view. On the contrary, they believe that if one can identify factors that can predict interpersonal communication skills, it is possible to design courses to train this ability.

48. 古希腊卓越的雄辩家德摩斯梯尼，年轻时有口吃毛病。为了纠正口吃，清晰地发音，他把小石子含在嘴里朗诵，迎着大风讲话。他还经常朗诵诗歌、神话、悲喜剧，经过苦练，他终于成为一位闻名于世的雄辩家。

48. The outstanding Greek orator Demosthenes had a stammer in his youth. To correct his stammer and articulate more clearly, he would recite while holding small pebbles in his mouth and speak into strong winds. He also frequently recited poetry, myths, and tragedies. Through rigorous practice, he finally became a renowned orator in the world.

49. 我们的研究也显示：辨析能力愈高的人，社交能力也愈高。他们在与父母、师长、朋友和不喜欢的人交往时，较能完成交往目标，并较能改进双方的交情。 亦有证据显示，辨析能力高的人，他们会遇上较多愉快的交生经验，而他们也较少出现抑郁的情绪。需要强调的是，"因时制宜"并非指盲目跟随形势变化而改变自己的行为，亦不是指盲目顺应对方的旨意。

49. Our research also shows that individuals with higher discernment skills tend to have higher social skills. They are more likely to achieve their communication goals and improve their relationships with parents, teachers, friends, and even those they do not like. There is also evidence to suggest that people with high discernment skills encounter more pleasant social experiences and are less prone to depression. It is important to emphasize that "making appropriate changes according to the situation" does not mean blindly following the changes in the situation to alter one's own behavior, nor does it mean blindly complying with the other person's wishes.

50. 我们的研究指出，一个人对性格和道德的看法是一个十分重要的因素。有些人觉得性格和道德是不可改变的个人素质，相信每个人也有固定不变的道德水平和性格。因此，在与人交往时，他们的注意力便集中于从别人的言行举止，来推断对方具备哪种性格。也有些人相信性格和道德都是变数，认为一个人的道德和性格是可以改变的。因此，这些人在社交场合中，并不急于判断别人的性格和道德水平。反之，他们会较留心于一些可变的因素和行为的关系。譬如，他们会较留心环境因素的改变如何影响一个人的心理状态，而心理状态的改变，又如何影响一个人的行为。

50. Our research indicates that a person's views on character and morality are a very important factor. Some people believe that character and morality are unchangeable personal qualities, and they believe that each person has a fixed and unchanging level of morality and character. Therefore, when interacting with others, their attention is focused on deducing what kind of character the other person possesses from their words and actions. There are also some people who believe that both character and morality are variables, and they think that a person's morality and character can be changed. Therefore, these individuals are not in a hurry to judge others' character and moral level in social situations. On the contrary, they pay more attention to the relationships between variable factors and behaviors. For example, they pay more attention to how changes in the environment affect a person's mental state, and how changes in mental state, in turn, affect a person's behavior.

51. 人际融合能力 表明了一个人是否能够体验到人的可信以及可爱，它和人的个性（如内外向等）有极大的关系，但又不完全由它决定，更多的是一种心理上的意味。

51. Interpersonal integration ability indicates whether a person can experience the credibility and loveliness of others. It has a great relationship with a person's personality (such as extroversion and introversion, etc.), but it is not entirely determined by it. It is more of a psychological meaning.

52. 在近日各高校举行的校园招聘会上，一些企业负责人表示，员工的交际与沟通能力越来越成为企业在市场竞争中获胜的主要动力，因而用人单位在招聘时更看重求职者的"情商"。面对用人单位开出的招聘条件，越来越多的大学生感受到了人际交往能力的重要性。

52. At recent campus recruitment fairs held by various universities, some corporate leaders have expressed that the interpersonal and communication skills of employees are increasingly becoming the main driving force for enterprises to win in market competition. Therefore, employers place more emphasis on the "emotional intelligence" of job seekers during recruitment. In the face of the recruitment conditions offered by employers, an increasing number of college students are realizing the importance of interpersonal communication skills.

53. 举止大方、坦然自若，使别人感到轻松、自在，激发交往动机。

53. Conduct oneself with elegance and composure, making others feel at ease and comfortable, and stimulating the motivation for interaction.

54. 在安静的环境中，无人打扰，没人分散精力和注意力，我们可以把所有的时间精力，都放在自己喜欢的事情上。沉淀自己，深耕自己，提升自己，成就自己。

54. In a quiet environment, undisturbed by anyone, without any distractions, we can devote all our time and energy to the things we like. Immerse ourselves, delve deeply into ourselves, enhance ourselves, and achieve ourselves.

55. 善良有边界，不要对欺负你的人，不知感恩的人心怀善意，大胆翻脸，才是对自己最好的保护。

55. Kindness has its boundaries; don't harbor good will towards those who bully you or those ungrateful people. It takes courage to turn against them, and it's the best protection for yourself.

56. 不要怕翻脸，别人敢欺负你，你说明他已经不在乎你们之间的感情。你再怎么珍惜，都是一厢情愿，自取其辱。

### Translation: 56. Don't be afraid of facing the truth. If someone dares to mistreat you, it means he no longer cares about the feelings between you two. No matter how much you cherish it, it's all one-sided, and you're only making a fool of yourself.

57. 真正的城府，不是隐藏情绪的面瘫脸，也不是看着很厉害的高深莫测脸。事实上，这些人很容易暴露，因为隐藏表情容易让周围的人产生警觉，傻子都知道，一个总是隐藏自己内心的人不能深交。

57. True sophistication is not a face without expression that hides emotions, nor is it a face that appears formidable and enigmatic. In fact, these people are easy to expose because hiding one's expressions tends to raise suspicion among those around them. It's common sense that someone who always hides their inner feelings is not someone you can have a deep friendship with.

58. 掌握说话的分寸，谨言慎行，才能处理好人际关系。

58. To master the measure of speech and act with caution, one can only handle interpersonal relationships well.

59. 既然主动地作性格判断和道德评价对社交能力的发展有碍，而尝试了解虽人的内心感受对社交能力有利，那么如何可以降低前一种倾向而加强后一种倾向呢？

59. Since actively making character judgments and moral evaluations hinders the development of social skills, and trying to understand people's inner feelings is beneficial for social skills, how can we reduce the former tendency and strengthen the latter one?

60. 融合于社会，首先需要调整自己的观念，勇敢地面对世界、接纳世界。当然接纳世界并不是要你消极等待和向困难屈服，更不是要你没有任何原则地去苟同消极落后的东西，甚至同流合污。而是要你用积极主动的态度去接纳现实，并有勇气和决心去消除生活中的消极现象，弘扬主旋律，尽一份当代大学生应尽的责任。

60. To integrate into society, the first thing to do is to adjust one's own观念, to courageously face the world and embrace it. Of course, embracing the world does not mean passively waiting and surrendering to difficulties, nor does it mean to agree with negative and backward things without any principles, or even to go along with them. Instead, it requires you to embrace reality with an active and proactive attitude, and to have the courage and determination to eliminate negative phenomena in life, promote the main melody, and fulfill the responsibilities that contemporary college students should shoulder.

61. 为了了解中国在校大学生的交往能力,我们做了一次问卷调查，其内容见附录。

61. In order to understand the communication skills of college students in China, we conducted a survey, the content of which is detailed in the appendix.

62. 你很怕见牙医，但现在却要到牙医那里修补牙齿。

62. You are very scared of going to the dentist, but now you have to go to the dentist to have your teeth fixed.

63. 在一项研究中，我们采用了一些虚构的处境，然后问受测者在这些处境中会有什么反应。其中两个处境是：

63. In a study, we adopted some fictional situations and then asked the participants what their reactions would be in these situations. Two of the situations are:

64. 对于和长辈相处的时候，要注意说话的用语，必要的时候使用尊称，比如：您。在和长辈在一起的时候，要懂得礼让长辈，长辈不动筷的时候不能先动筷，长辈说话的时候应该认真听着，在讨论的时候不能高声说话，更不能说脏话。

64. When interacting with elders, one should pay attention to the choice of words and use respectful titles when necessary, such as "You." When in the company of elders, it is important to show respect and deference. Do not start eating before the elders, and listen attentively when they are speaking. Do not speak loudly during discussions and especially avoid using profanity.

65. 信用的原则：交往离不开信用。信用指一个人诚实、不欺、信守诺言。古人"有一言既出、驷马难追"的格言。现在有以诚实为本的原则，不要轻易许诺，一旦许诺、要设法实现，以免失信于人。朋友之间，言必信、行必果、不卑不亢、端庄而不过于矜持，谦虚而不矫饰诈伪，不俯仰讨好位尊者，不藐视位卑者显示自己的自信心，取得别人的信赖。

65. Principles of Credit: Communication cannot be separated from credit. Credit refers to a person's honesty, sincerity, and keeping promises. There is an ancient saying: "Once a word is spoken, even a team of horses cannot catch up." Now, there is a principle based on honesty, which is not to make promises lightly, but to try to fulfill them once made, in order to avoid breaking promises. Among friends, one must keep promises, act with determination, maintain modesty without arrogance, be dignified but not overly reserved, be humble without pretense or deception, not flatter those in high positions, nor look down upon those in lower positions, to show confidence in oneself and gain the trust of others.

66. 口若悬河的本领从哪里来呢？是天生的吗？有的人从小就注意培养，所以表达能力会显得比人强。但大多数人的口才，都是在成人后自觉地苦练得来的。

66. Where does the ability to speak fluently come from? Is it innate? Some people have been cultivating it since they were young, so their expressive abilities appear to be stronger than others. However, for most people, their eloquence is achieved through conscious and hard practice after they become adults.

67. 你被一群持械的恐怖分子胁持在一所公共大楼内。

67. You are being held hostage by a group of armed terrorists inside a public building.

68. 统计结果:其中有155%的总分低于70分,有326%的总分在70－90分之间,有413%的总分在91－120分之间,还有106%的总分大于120分

68. Statistical results: Among them, 155% of the total scores are below 70, 326% of the total scores are between 70-90, 413% of the total scores are between 91-120, and 106% of the total scores are greater than 120.

69. 我们要与人为善，积极进取，但同时，又要头脑清醒，洞见世事人心，把握好为人处世的分寸感和边界感。

69. We should do good to others, be proactive, but at the same time, we must keep our wits about us, have insight into the world and people's hearts, and grasp the sense of proportion and boundaries in dealing with people and situations.

70. 中国在校大学生的人际交往能力属于中等偏下水平,同时可以看出一般人在新环境中比较拘束,适应较慢在异性和非同龄人面前会有所紧张,不够大胆,不主动交往,甚至有少数同学有自闭心理人际交往能力和方法的欠缺是影响大学生人际交往的原因之一。不少大学生缺乏交往的经验，尤其是成功的经验。他们想关心人，但不知从何做起，想赞美人，可怎么也开不了口或词不达意，交友的愿望强烈，然而总感到没有机会。交往中想表现自己却不能如愿，内心想表示温柔，言语却是硬邦邦的，这些情况阻碍了他们和他人交往的顺利进行。但绝大多数人都知道社交能力的重要性,想有所提高

70. The interpersonal communication skills of college students in China are at a moderately low level. It can also be seen that most people are more constrained in new environments, adapt more slowly, and become tense in the presence of the opposite sex or people of different ages. They are not bold enough, do not initiate interactions, and even some students have自闭心理 (autistic psychology), where a lack of interpersonal communication skills and methods is one of the reasons affecting the interpersonal communication of college students. Many college students lack experience in communication, especially successful experiences. They want to care for others but don't know where to start, they want to praise others but can't seem to open their mouth or express their feelings appropriately. Their desire to make friends is strong, yet they always feel that they lack opportunities. They want to show themselves in communication but cannot achieve their wishes, they want to express gentleness but their words are stiff, and these situations hinder their smooth interaction with others. However, the majority of people recognize the importance of social skills and want to improve them.

71. 有些人很会伪装自己的心理，但实际上呢，仍然逃不过“装”的范畴，只要是伪装的，就总有被发现的一天，这种人说不上城府深。

71. Some people are very good at masking their psychological state, but in reality, they still can't escape the category of "acting." As long as it's a facade, there will always be a day when it's uncovered. Such people cannot be said to have a deep heart.

72. 一要适时。说在该说时，止在该止处，这才叫适时。可有的人在社交场上该说时不说，他们见面时不及时问候；分手时不及时告别；失礼时不及时道歉；对请教不及时解答；对求助不及时答复……反之，有的人该止时不止。他们在热闹喜庆的气氛中唠唠叨叨诉说自己的不幸；在别人悲伤忧愁时嘻嘻哈哈开玩笑；在主人心绪不安时仍滔滔不绝发表宏论；在长辈家里乐不可支地详谈"马路新闻"。请设想一下，假如你在社交中遇见了上面这种人，你会对他产生什么样的印象呢？

72. The first principle is to be timely. To speak when it is appropriate and to stop when it is necessary is what being timely means. However, there are some people who, in social situations, fail to speak when they should, such as not greeting promptly when they meet, not saying goodbye promptly when they part, not apologizing promptly when they are impolite, not answering promptly when they are asked for help, and not replying promptly when they are requested for assistance... Conversely, there are also people who do not stop when they should. They keep talking about their misfortunes in the midst of festive and joyful atmospheres; they make jokes and laugh in others' times of sadness and sorrow; they continue to speak grandly even when the host is in a state of unease; and they excitedly discuss "street news" in their elders' homes. Imagine, if you encountered such people in social interactions, what kind of impression would you have of them?

73. 解决问题的能力 当前独生子女的一大弱点是依赖性强，独立性解决问题能力差，再加上应试教育的弊端，因而严重影响了学生的交往能力。

73. Problem-solving Ability: One major weakness of the current only-child generation is their strong dependence and poor ability to independently solve problems. Added to this is the disadvantage of the exam-oriented education system, which seriously affects the students' social interaction skills.

74. 贾教授认为，多年来，学生长期在高考指挥棒下，过分注重追求成绩而忽视了人际交往能力等其他素质的培养。进入高校后，学校也很少有专门的系统课程培训。所以导致很多大学生智商很高，情商却很低，往往处理不好如何与其他人相处、沟通、交流。而这些正是时下企业招聘时最为看重的能力素质，因此，给大学生补上这节课已经刻不容缓。

74. Professor Jia believes that for many years, students have been excessively focused on achieving good grades under the direction of the college entrance examination, neglecting the cultivation of other qualities such as interpersonal communication skills. After entering universities, there are also few specialized systematic courses for training. This has led to many college students having high IQs but low EQs, often struggling with how to get along, communicate, and interact with others. These are exactly the abilities and qualities that companies place the most emphasis on during recruitment. Therefore, it is urgent to provide this course to college students.

75. 人际交往能力与社交经验的关系如此密切，如果可以提高自己的人际交往能力，人们的日常社交生活也会得到改善。人们不单可以减少与别人发生冲突，亦可以令自己和别人有更愉快的交往经验。

更多的 75. The relationship between interpersonal communication skills and social experience is so close that if one can improve their interpersonal communication skills, people's daily social life will also be improved. Not only can people reduce conflicts with others, but they can also have more pleasant communication experiences with others.

76. 希望同学们积极参加演讲、对话和辩论活动。珍惜在大庭广众面前发表见解的锻炼机会，临场经验多了，口才也自然会好起来。另外，同学们在课堂讨论或分组讨论的活动中，应踊跃发言，不要放弃锻炼的机会，只要持之以恒，刻苦训练，你的口头表达能力一定会增强的。口头表达能力强，走上社会也是一种竞争力。当然，你也要清醒地认识到，口头表达能力强，还要有广博的知识做后盾，多学习各类知识。

76. I hope that all the students actively participate in speech, dialogue, and debate activities. Treasure the opportunity to express your opinions in public, as with more on-the-spot experience, your eloquence will naturally improve. Moreover, when engaged in classroom discussions or group discussions, students should be eager to speak up and not give up the chance to exercise themselves. As long as you persevere and train hard, your ability to express yourself orally will definitely improve. A strong ability in oral expression is also a form of competitiveness when entering society. Of course, you should also clearly realize that a strong ability in oral expression requires a broad knowledge base as a support, so you should learn various types of knowledge.

77. 由此可见，对性格道德的看法，不单与社交能力有关，它也关系到社会上族群能否得到公平平等的待遇。

77. Therefore, the view of character and morality is not only related to social skills, but it also concerns whether different ethnic groups in society can receive fair and equal treatment.

78. 生命中所有的灿烂，终要寂寞偿还。如果一个人耐不住寂寞，受不了冷清，总是在人堆里消耗自己，那么他必然无所作为。而如果在独处时懒惰浮躁，不务正业，不思进取，也将枉费生命，蹉跎一生。

78. All the brilliance in life must eventually be repaid with loneliness. If a person cannot bear the loneliness, cannot stand the solitude, and is always consuming themselves among a crowd, then they are bound to achieve nothing. And if, when alone, they are lazy and restless, not focusing on their work, not striving for progress, they will also waste their life, squandering their years.

79. 凶杀案"，主犯马加爵，由于与同学产生了一些小矛盾，而走上杀人的道路。这件事不得不引起我们的思考。为此，我们在生活﹑学习﹑工作中，要正视和解决不愿交往﹑不懂交往﹑不善交往的问题，塑造自身形象，以积极的态度和行为对待人际交往，建立和谐的人际关系。

79. "Murder case," the main culprit being Ma Jiague, who resorted to murder due to some minor conflicts with his classmates. This incident cannot fail to prompt our reflection. Therefore, in our daily life, studies, and work, we must confront and resolve issues such as reluctance to communicate, lack of understanding in communication, and poor communication skills. We should shape our own image, treat interpersonal relationships with a positive attitude and behavior, and establish harmonious interpersonal relationships.

80. 处于青年期的大学生，思想活跃、感情丰富，人际交往的需要极为强烈，人人都渴望真诚友爱，大家都力图通过人际交往获得友谊，满足自己物质和精神上的需要。但面对新的环境、新的对象和紧张的学习生活，使得一部分学生由此而导致了心理矛盾的加剧。此时，积极的人际交往，良好的人际关系，可以使人精神愉快，情绪饱满，充满信心，保持乐观的人生态度。一般说来，具有良好人际关系的学生，大都能保持开朗的性格，热情乐观的品质，从而正确认识、对待各种现实问题，化解学习、生活中的各种矛盾，形成积极向上的优秀品质，迅速适应大学生活。相反，如果缺乏积极的人际交往，不能正确地对待自己和别人，心胸狭隘，目光短浅，则容易形成精神上、心理上的巨大压力，难以化解心理矛盾。严重的还可能导致病态心理，如果得不到及时的疏导，可能形成恶性循环而严重影响身心健康。

80. University students in their youth are characterized by active thinking, rich emotions, and a strong need for interpersonal interaction. Everyone aspires for sincere love and friendship, striving to obtain friendship through social interactions to satisfy their physical and spiritual needs. However, facing new environments, new subjects, and the intense academic life, some students may experience an exacerbation of psychological contradictions. At this time, positive interpersonal interactions and good relationships can make people happy, full of energy, confident, and maintain an optimistic attitude towards life. Generally speaking, students with good interpersonal relationships are more likely to maintain an open character and enthusiastic, optimistic qualities, thus correctly understanding and dealing with various real-life issues, resolving contradictions in study and life, and forming positive and outstanding qualities that adapt quickly to university life. Conversely, if a lack of positive interpersonal interactions and the inability to treat oneself and others correctly lead to narrowmindedness and short-sightedness, it can easily result in great mental and psychological pressure, making it difficult to resolve psychological contradictions. In severe cases, it may even lead to pathological psychology. If not addressed in a timely manner, it may create a vicious cycle, significantly affecting physical and mental health.

81. 二要分析问题：可以利用管理学的技巧辅助，如鱼骨图等。或是与部属举行讨论会议，将问题产生的原因分类，并且列出解决的优先顺序。

81. Secondly, analyze the problem: Management techniques can be utilized to assist, such as fishbone diagrams, etc. Alternatively, hold discussion meetings with subordinates to classify the causes of the problem and list the priorities for resolution.

82. 人际交往的核心部分，一是合作，二是沟通。培养交往能力首先要有积极的心态，理解他人，关心他人，日常交往活动中，要主动与他人交往，不要消极回避，要敢于接触，尤其是要敢于面对与自己不同的人，而且还要不怕出身、相貌、经历，不要因来自边远的地区、相貌不好看或者经历不如别人而封闭自己，其次要从小做起，注意社交礼仪，积少成多；再次要善于去做，大胆走出校门，消除恐惧，加强交往方面的知识积累，在实际的交往生活中去体会，把握人际交往中的各种方法和技巧。另外，要认识到在与别人的交往中，打动人的是真诚，以诚交友，以诚办事，真诚才能换来与别人的合作和沟通，真诚永远是人类最珍贵的感情之一。

82. The core components of interpersonal interaction are cooperation and communication. To cultivate communication skills, one must first have a positive attitude, understand others, care for others, and in daily interactions, actively engage with others rather than avoiding them passively. One should dare to get in touch, especially with people who are different from oneself. Additionally, one should not be afraid of one's background, appearance, or experiences; do not isolate oneself because of coming from a remote area, having an unattractive appearance, or not having as much experience as others. Secondly, one should start from a young age, pay attention to social etiquette, and accumulate a little at a time. Thirdly, one should be good at acting, dare to step out of the school gate, overcome fear, and strengthen knowledge accumulation in terms of communication. Experience and grasp various methods and skills in real-life interactions. Furthermore, one should recognize that in interactions with others, sincerity is what touches people. To make friends and handle affairs with sincerity, as sincerity can only bring cooperation and communication with others, and sincerity will always be one of the most precious human emotions.

83. 社交中受人欢迎、具有魅力的人，一定是掌握社交口才技巧的人。社交口才的基本技巧表现在适时、适量、适度三个方面。

83. A person who is popular and charming in social interactions must be skilled in social oratory techniques. The basic skills of social oratory are manifested in three aspects: timeliness, appropriateness, and moderation.

84. 在一项研究中，我们问受测者一些很简单的问题。譬如，"甲旅行时给同事买了些纪念品，那很可能是因为--"。或"乙将一盒橙汁倒在同学的图画上，那很可能是因为--"。那些相信性格是不可改变的人，较多提出"甲是一个善良的人，而乙则是一个无赖"等解释。反之，相信性格是可以改变的人，较多提出"甲想取悦他的同事，而乙则嫉妒他的同学"等解释。

84. In a study, we asked the participants some very simple questions. For example, "If person A buys souvenirs for their colleagues while traveling, it's likely because--" or "If person B spills a box of orange juice on a classmate's drawing, it's likely because--". Those who believe that personality is unchangeable tend to offer explanations like "Person A is a kind person, while person B is a scoundrel." Conversely, those who believe that personality can be changed tend to offer explanations like "Person A wants to please their colleagues, while person B is envious of their classmates."