在构建内心安全感的过程中，掌握这三种关键能力，如同为心灵筑起坚实的堡垒。本文将深入探讨这三种能力，助您在纷繁复杂的世界中，找到内心的宁静与坚定。

In the process of building inner security, mastering these three key abilities is like building a solid fortress for the soul. This article will delve into these three abilities, helping you find inner peace and steadfastness in a complex and chaotic world.

1. “惟有当你认清世间一切事物都是无常的事实，你才明白，安全感从来无法外求，也从来不在这世界以外，它是你内心世界的平安。”

1. "Only when you recognize the fact that all things in the world are impermanent, do you understand that security can never be sought externally, nor does it exist beyond this world; it is the peace of your inner world."

2. 并且对结果的预期是差不多就可以，能做到6分就及格，能做到7、8分就是良好，能做到9分就是优秀，对于大部分的事情而言，做到6分就可以，没必要花费过多的时间和精力在一些小事上。通过生活里所遇到的问题，来练习自己面对和解决问题的能力和信心，以此来提升自信心和安全感。

2. Moreover, the expectation for the results is more about adequacy rather than perfection; achieving a 6 out of 10 is considered passing, 7 or 8 is good, and 9 is excellent. For most things, a 6 out of 10 is sufficient, and it is not necessary to spend excessive time and energy on trivial matters. Use the problems encountered in life to practice your ability and confidence in facing and solving problems, thereby enhancing your self-confidence and sense of security.

3. 我们曾如此渴望和别人分享喜悦和痛苦，找到一个人和自己共情，一起打发寂寞无聊的时光。后来发现，你欢欣鼓舞的喜悦，在别人眼里，不过是自鸣得意的炫耀。你惊心动魄的伤痛，在别人眼里，不过是随手拂过的尘埃。

3. We once yearned so much to share our joys and sorrows with others, to find someone who could empathize with us, and to spend the lonely and boring moments together. Later, we discovered that the joy you are so elated about seems to others nothing but a self-satisfied show-off. The pain that shakes you to the core seems to others nothing but a trivial dust that can be brushed aside.

4. 知乎上有个提问：如何才能拥有踏实的安全感？

4. There is a question on Zhihu (a Chinese Q&A website): How can one achieve a sense of security that is grounded and solid?

5. 生命是一条孤独的河流，只有自己才是人生的摆渡人。拥有这三种能力，才能拥有真正的安全感。

5. Life is a solitary river, and only one's self is the ferryman of one's life. Only by possessing these three abilities can one truly possess a sense of security.

6. 舒婷在《致橡树》中说：

6. Shu Ting says in "To the Oak Tree":

7. 自信心和安全感的不足会反映在生活的方方面面，比如遇到一件事情，自卑者就会想要快速、优质的完成，以此来证明自己是优秀、成功的，慢一点、做的一般，都会感到自卑和焦虑。而实际上，做任何事情都需要时间和过程，比如跑100米，一般人八九十步可以轻松的跑完，而自卑者会要求自己在1秒之内用一步跑完，这是不可能实现的自我期待和要求，带来的只能是无能感和挫败。而且做任何事情，都不可能百分之百的完美，一般人都是差不多就可以，而对于自卑者做不到完美就等于失败。

7. A lack of self-confidence and security can manifest itself in all aspects of life. For example, when faced with a task, a person with low self-esteem would want to complete it quickly and well in order to prove their own excellence and success. If they are slower or do it just adequately, they would feel insecure and anxious. In reality, doing anything requires time and a process. For instance, most people can run 100 meters in about 80 to 90 steps. However, someone with low self-esteem might demand that they complete the distance in just one step within one second, which is an impossible self-imposed expectation and requirement, leading only to feelings of incompetence and defeat. Moreover, it is impossible to achieve perfection in anything; most people are satisfied with "good enough." For someone with low self-esteem, failing to be perfect is tantamount to failure.

8. 这是一个娑婆世界，娑婆就是无常，就是遗憾，就是各种各样的不确定。每个人都想获得安全感，能够踏实、稳定、从容的生活。但真正的安全感，不是别人给予的，而是自己修来的。

8. This is a Saha World, where Saha means impermanence, regret, and all sorts of uncertainties. Everyone wants to gain a sense of security, to live a solid, stable, and composed life. But true security is not given by others, but is cultivated by oneself.

9. 你有你的铜枝铁干，像刀，像剑，也像戟。我有我的红硕的花朵，像漫天的彩霞，像热情的火焰，像生生不息的希望。

9. You have your copper branches and iron stems, like a knife, like a sword, and also like a halberd. I have my red and lush flowers, like the colorful clouds in the sky, like passionate flames, and like the ever-lasting hope.

10. 宠辱不惊，闲看庭前花开花落；去留无意，漫随天边云卷云舒。”

10. Unperturbed by praise and blame, leisurely watch the flowers bloom and wither in the courtyard; without intention of staying or leaving, aimlessly follow the clouds as they rise and disperse in the distance.

11. 靠山山倒，靠水水流，靠人人跑，只有靠自己努力赚钱，才能有足够的资源和实力支撑自己想要的生活。否则一个多么爱你的人，也可能因为条件和环境的改变而抛弃你。

11. When you rely on a mountain, the mountain may collapse; when you rely on water, the water may flow away; when you rely on others, they may run away. Only by relying on your own efforts to make money can you have enough resources and strength to support the life you desire. Otherwise, even the person who loves you the most may abandon you due to changes in conditions and environments.

12. 所以，提升自信心和安全感的方法就是：遇到任何事情，都要给自己足够的时间、经过一个过程去完成它。首先就是要慢下来，理清事情的来龙去脉，制定解决方案，然后逐步解决。

12. Therefore, the method to enhance self-confidence and a sense of security is to give yourself ample time and go through a process to complete any task. The first step is to slow down, clarify the context and background of the matter, formulate a solution, and then gradually solve the problem.

13. 世人慌慌张张，不过图碎银几两。偏偏这碎银几两，能解世间万种惆怅。

13. People are in a hurry, all for a few coppers. But it is precisely these few coppers that can alleviate all the worries and sorrows in the world.

14. “我们分担寒潮、风雷、霹雳；我们共享雾霾、流岚、虹霓，仿佛永远分离，却又终身相依。”

14. "We share the cold waves, thunderstorms, and lightning; we experience the smog, misty veils, and rainbow halos. It seems as if we are forever apart, yet we are eternally intertwined."

15. 后来才发现，安全感很多时候都是自己给的。

15. Later on, it was discovered that security often comes from oneself.

16. 成年人的世界里，底气和尊严都是钱给的。如果口袋里没有钱，你拿什么赡养父母，关心伴侣，抚养孩子？你又怎么去经营人情世故，打点人情往来？又如何面对人世间的风险和意外？

16. In the world of adults, both confidence and dignity come from money. If you don't have any money in your pocket, what can you use to support your parents, care for your partner, and raise your children? How can you navigate social relationships and manage interpersonal interactions? And how can you face the risks and unexpected events of life?

17. 金钱虽然不会说话，但它不会背叛你，你拥有多少，他就会给你带来多少价值。好好赚钱，才是我们行走于世最大的安全感。

17. Money may not speak, but it will not betray you; it will bring you as much value as you possess. Making a good living is the greatest sense of security we can have in our journey through life.

18. 人虽然渺小，人生虽然短暂，但人有主观能动性，可以修身，可以自我完善，可以改变自己。

18. Although humans are small and life is short, humans have the subjective initiative to cultivate themselves, to perfect themselves, and to change themselves.

19. 有的朋友可能会问，总是担心做的慢了做不好怎么办？莫名的焦虑，其实本来就是要做不好的，或者说没必要做的太好，再或者说允许做的不够好，人生本就是如此，差不多就可以。

19. Some friends might ask, what should I do if I'm always worried about not doing things slowly enough or not well enough? There's an inexplicable anxiety, but it's actually the case that I'm not supposed to do it well, or perhaps it's not necessary to do it too well, or maybe it's permissible to not do it well enough. Life is like that; it's enough to be just about right.

20. 不怕风雨兼程，努力改变自己，你终将拥有想要的美好和浪漫。

20. Fear not the journey through rain and wind, strive to change yourself, and you will eventually possess the beauty and romance you desire.

21. 安全感的形成可以追溯到生命最早期的前三年，也就是3岁以前，和父母的养育风格有很大关系。这三年对于安全感的建立至关重要，如果小时候没有建立起扎实的安全感，长大以后再来修复就要花更多的时间和精力，非常地不容易。

21. The formation of a sense of security can be traced back to the first three years of life, before the age of 3, and is greatly related to the parenting style of the parents. These three years are crucial for the establishment of security, and if a solid sense of security is not established in childhood, it will be much more difficult and require more time and effort to repair it when one grows up.

22. 世界上所有的喜剧，可能和金钱没有关系，但世界上所有的悲剧，都和金钱脱不了关系。

22. All comedies in the world might have nothing to do with money, but all tragedies in the world are inextricably linked to money.

23. 高赞回答是这样说的：

23. The high-praise response said:

24. 我们曾经很想给自己找一座靠山，后来发现，山上不是荆棘遍地，便是悬崖峭壁，只有自己才是可以依靠的那座山。不要指望别人提携和帮助自己，人生本就是一个悲喜自渡的过程。撸起袖子加油干，咬紧牙关往前走，改变自己窘迫的现状，邂逅更加美好的生活。

24. We once yearned to find a mountain to rely on, but later found that the mountain was either covered with thorns or had steep cliffs, and only ourselves were the mountain we could depend on. Don't expect others to support and help you, as life itself is a process of self-help through both joy and sorrow. Roll up your sleeves and work hard, bite the bullet and move forward, change your current plight, and encounter a more beautiful life.

25. 一个人最幸福的状态，不是依靠在别人的肩膀上，而是自己就可以站的很稳，即便一个人也能自得其乐。

25. The most fortunate state for a person is not to rely on someone else's shoulder, but to stand firmly on one's own, and even find joy in solitude.

26. 最后就会形成类似的信念：不管我遇到任何事情，我都不用焦虑、恐惧、抑郁，我可以先慢下来，看清事情的来龙去脉，并且相信经过一定的时间、通过一个过程，我一定能够比较好的解决它，理清思路后逐步的解决问题，并且我不需要把问题解决的太过于完美，差不多就可以。有助于解决问题的方法还有：延迟解决、寻求合作、不解决。

26. Ultimately, a similar belief is formed: regardless of what I encounter, I do not need to worry, fear, or be depressed. I can first slow down, understand the context of the matter, and believe that after a certain period of time and through a process, I will definitely be able to solve it better. After clarifying my thoughts, I can gradually solve the problem, and I do not need to solve the problem too perfectly; just about right is fine. Methods that are helpful in solving problems include: delaying the solution, seeking cooperation, and not solving it at all.

27. 一般焦虑、恐惧、失眠、疑病、强迫、抑郁的朋友，自信心和安全感都比较低，就是比较自卑，这一类朋友在进入亲密关系（爱情、友情、亲情）后，通常都会变的患得患失、疑神疑鬼，为了自我保护通常都会拒绝与人建立亲密关系，即使建立了也无法维持下去。这是受到了过去成长经历的影响，具体形成原因就不在这里赘述了，今天重点讨论如何提升自信心和安全感。

27. Friends who generally experience anxiety, fear, insomnia, hypochondria, obsession, and depression tend to have low self-confidence and a sense of security, feeling quite self-deprecating. After entering into close relationships (such as love, friendship, or family ties), this type of friend usually becomes overly concerned with losing the relationship, suspicious of others, and often refuses to establish close relationships for self-protection. Even if they do form such relationships, they are unable to sustain them. This is influenced by past experiences of growth, and the specific reasons for this will not be elaborated upon here. Today, we will focus on discussing how to enhance self-confidence and a sense of security.

28. “年轻的时候觉得，可以有个稳定的肩膀靠一靠。

28. "In my youth, I thought there would be a stable shoulder to lean on."

29. 与其指望别人，不如依靠自己。与其得到别人虚情假意的慰藉，不如拥有独处的能力，自己治愈自己，自己救赎自己，自己成全自己。

29. It's better to rely on oneself than to depend on others. It's better to have the ability to be alone and heal oneself, redeem oneself, and fulfill oneself, than to receive false comfort from others.

30. 张小娴说：

30. Zhang Xiaoxian says: