孩子对父母爱的认知：尽管你尽心尽力，他们未必感受到同样的爱意。

Understanding of children's love for their parents: Even though you try your best, they may not feel the same love in return.

1. 要处理好孩子们之前的嫉妒心理，就要 先了解孩子产生嫉妒的原因 ：

1. To deal with the envious feelings among children, it is first necessary to understand the reasons why children develop jealousy:

2. 根据心理投射的原理，当心里有爱的时候，会更容易地感受到来自别人的爱的行为、言语、表情等等。所以，通常你会很容易地感受到你喜欢的人对你的好感。同样，你也很容易地感受到你恨的人对你的敌意。

2. According to the principle of psychological projection, when one has love in their heart, they are more likely to perceive loving behaviors, words, expressions, and more from others. Therefore, you usually find it easy to sense the affection of the person you like towards you. Similarly, you are also likely to feel the hostility of the person you dislike towards you.

3. 父母帮助孩子建立自信，让其知道自己的优点。孩子事情做得好时要鼓励，当孩子为自己感到骄傲时，就自然而然地树立起自信，而这种自信就能帮助孩子克服嫉妒心理。

3. Parents help children build self-confidence, making them aware of their strengths. Encourage children when they do well in their tasks, and as the children feel proud of themselves, confidence naturally emerges. This kind of confidence can help children overcome the feeling of jealousy.

4. 明星蔡少芬，她的原生家庭很不幸，自小父母离异，她和大哥跟着母亲，自小缺乏父爱，母亲很少照顾兄妹生活日常，还嗜赌如命，欠下巨额赌债。

4. Celebrity Zhao Sau-fan, her original family was unfortunately, her parents divorced when she was young, and she and her elder brother lived with their mother. Since childhood, she lacked paternal love, and her mother rarely took care of the daily lives of the siblings, being also a gambling addict, who owed huge gambling debts.

5. 在长时期缺少爱的成长环境中，会增加其叛逆，厌倦，愤怒，怀疑，破坏等一些负面情绪，因为不被爱待，所以总是感到没有存在感和价值感，但其内心的渴望被爱的事实是不可否认的，只是被时间所压制住了。换言之，如果在某一刻，身边出现了一个会关心他，尊重他并愿意信任和保护他的人，此时他内心中暗藏的爱就会成倍的展现出来。

5. In a long-term environment lacking love, it can increase negative emotions such as rebellion, boredom, anger, suspicion, and destruction. Because they are not loved, they always feel a lack of a sense of existence and value. However, the fact that they have an inner desire to be loved is undeniable, but it is suppressed by time. In other words, if at a moment, someone appears who is willing to care for them, respect them, and be willing to trust and protect them, then the hidden love within them will be shown in an amplified way.

6. 兄弟姐妹间存在强烈的嫉妒心不仅会影响他们的关系，对于孩子的人格成长也可能会造成伤害，所以父母们不能忽视孩子的嫉妒心理，要学会降低孩子心中的嫉妒感。

6. Strong jealousy among siblings not only affects their relationship but may also cause harm to their personality development. Therefore, parents cannot ignore their children's jealousy and should learn to reduce the jealousy felt by their children.

7. 我们一定听说过很多，从早年经历艰难的，却心有大爱的人，如韩红等；

7. We must have heard a lot about many people, like Han Hong, who experienced hardships in their early years but have a big heart.

8. 她15岁被迫出道挣钱，17岁参加选秀，后拍戏，给富商刘銮雄当小三，拼命赚钱只为给母亲偿还高额8000万以上的赌债。

8. She was forced to debut and earn money at the age of 15, participated in a reality show at 17, and later acted. She served as a mistress to the wealthy businessman Liu Luen-hung, working tirelessly to earn money in order to repay her mother's massive gambling debt of over 80 million yuan.

9. 感到嫉妒的孩子总是希望自己得到和他人同样的待遇，假如此时家长能够诱导孩子控制好自己的情绪，不但能够缓解嫉妒的心理，还有助于建立孩子的自信心和自尊心。假如孩子觉得球队一个队友比自己上场的时间长，我们可以问他，如果你加强练习的话，情况会不会有所改变呢？这时，孩子会发现，虽然自己控制不了教练的选择，却可以控制自己的选择——通过联系提高自己的球技，上场的机会自然就多了。或者，当孩子对别人父母对子女所倾注的重视感到嫉妒的时候，我们应该采取行动消除孩子的误会。5岁的美美因为妈妈错过了自己在学校演出中的表演而非常不满，“别人的妈妈都来了！”于是，妈妈就让美美在家里面给自己开了一个专场晚会。这样一来，美美明白了妈妈其实很关注自己，便不再失望或者妒嫉别的同学了。

9. Children who feel jealous always wish to be treated equally as others. If parents can guide their children to control their emotions at this time, not only can it alleviate the feeling of jealousy, but it also helps to build the child's self-confidence and self-esteem. For example, if a child feels that a teammate on the team plays more than him, we can ask him, "What if you practice harder, will the situation change?" At this point, the child will realize that although he cannot control the coach's choice, he can control his own choice—by improving his skills through practice, he will naturally get more opportunities to play. Or, when a child feels jealous of the attention others' parents pay to their children, we should take action to eliminate the child's misunderstanding. For example, a 5-year-old girl named Meimei was very dissatisfied because her mother missed her performance at school, saying, "Other mothers were there!" So, the mother organized a special performance night for Meimei at home. In this way, Meimei understood that her mother actually cared about her, and she no longer felt disappointed or jealous of her classmates.

10. 老家的一个奶奶上周去世了，关系不算太远，于是我也匆匆赶回去了！

10. One of the grandmothers from my hometown passed away last week. Our relationship wasn't too close, so I rushed back as well!

11. 父爱这字眼是多么的平凡，但这种爱是多么的不平凡。

11. The word "fatherly love" is so ordinary, but this kind of love is so extraordinary.

12. 第一种，抗拒今后人生上任何人的爱，因为从小有了根深蒂固的想法，觉得爱这种奢侈的东西不是属于他〈她〉的，就会本能的排斥别人接触，别人对他〈她〉有稍微关爱的趋势。

12. The first type is to resist anyone's love in the future, because of a deeply rooted idea since childhood that love, this luxurious thing, does not belong to them (him/her). They will instinctively reject others' contact and have a tendency to push away any slight display of affection from others towards them (him/her).

13. 溺爱容易让孩子总以自我中心，希望每时每刻都受到成人的关注，得到成人的赞美和表扬。当别的孩子夺走了这种关注赞扬时，就容易产生嫉妒心理，把别的孩子当成“敌人”，并想尽一切办法获得关注，得到赞扬。

13. Overindulgence tends to make children self-centered, hoping to receive adult attention and praise at all times. When this attention and praise are taken away by other children, it easily leads to feelings of jealousy, perceiving other children as "enemies," and trying every means to gain attention and praise.

14. 我五岁时，上了幼儿园的小班。你牵着我去学校，路上你说“要乖乖的听话，和小朋友们团结友爱。”我报答你，常常受老师表扬，说我很听话。

14. When I was five years old, I attended the kindergarten's small class. You took me to school, and on the way, you said, "Be good, listen to instructions, and be friendly with the other kids." I repaid you by often receiving praise from the teacher, who said I was very听话 (obedient).

15. 可是你的爱却依然不会苍老，你的爱就像一道五彩光晕，罩在我的身边。默默的给我力量，给我温暖。

15. But your love will never age, your love is like a rainbow aura, enveloping me. Gently give me strength, give me warmth.

16. 这一点跟第三点很像，可能小时候被家暴过，或者目睹过家暴，内心有很多的不安全感，这一点在女性当中体现的比较多，所以通过自己打对方的行为来试探对方是否爱自己。如果对方没有还手，那么内心就可以证明对方是爱自己的。但是这种不安全感时常会在内心里面产生，他可能会去翻另一半的手机，经常胡思乱想。

16. This point is very similar to the third one. It is possible that they were subjected to domestic violence when they were young, or witnessed it, and have many insecurities deep inside. This is more evident among women, so they may resort to hitting their partner to test if the other person loves them. If the other person does not fight back, they can internally prove that the other person loves them. However, this insecurity often arises in their minds, and they may snoop through their partner's phone, constantly overthinking.

17. 儿子六岁的时候，右眼已经泛白了，很是难看。他问父亲：“为什么我的一只眼睛是白颜色的？”

17. When the son was six years old, his right eye had turned white, looking quite unattractive. He asked his father, "Why is one of my eyes white?"

18. 他还是拒绝了。厂方为了避免后顾之忧，让他写了保证书，内容大意是如果眼睛瞎了，和厂方没任何关系，他真的写了。许多人都认为他疯了，他却不作任何解释。

18. He still refused. To avoid any future worries, the factory asked him to write a guarantee letter, which roughly stated that if his eyes went blind, it had nothing to do with the factory, and he actually wrote it. Many people thought he was crazy, but he made no explanation.

19. 三， 孩子情绪调节能力尚未发展成熟，不能有效控制自己的情绪。

19. Three, children's ability to regulate their emotions has not yet developed into maturity, and they cannot effectively control their own emotions.

20. 三岁之后就可以教宝宝开始识字啦，我闺女就是这个时候开始认字的，用了 很多方法培养她的兴趣，最有效的还是用Apipi，你百度搜索猫小帅学汉字挺不错的，我闺女用了1年多了，特别喜欢，现在还经常给我讲故事，棒棒哒。

20. After the age of three, you can start teaching your baby to recognize characters. My daughter started recognizing characters at this time. I used many methods to cultivate her interest, and the most effective one was using Apipi. You can search for "Mao Xiaoshuai learns Chinese characters" on Baidu, which is quite good. My daughter has been using it for over a year and really likes it. Now she often tells me stories, which is fantastic.

21. 可好景不长，最后汪恩甲也因现实原因，将萧红抛弃了。尽管当时萧红还怀着孩子，可汪恩甲也没选择留下。

21. Unfortunately, the good times did not last long, and in the end, Wang Enjia abandoned Xiao Hong due to realistic reasons. Despite Xiao Hong being pregnant at the time, Wang Enjia did not choose to stay.

22. 人家自始至终非常平静，大家惊愕在原地！

22. The person remained extremely calm throughout, leaving everyone in shock standing still!

23. 就中国父母而言，可以说，中国父母是最不善于表达爱的。无论是夫妻间的爱，还是父母和子女间的爱，中国父母，通常是羞于直接表达的。

23. For Chinese parents, it can be said that they are the least skilled at expressing love. Whether it's the love between husband and wife or between parents and children, Chinese parents are usually too shy to express their love directly.

24. 产生自闭性格。由于家庭的破碎，孩子会因为家长的疏远对周围的人和事都充满戒备，不愿向其他人敞开自己的心扉，便进行了自我封闭。

24. Develops an autistic personality. Due to the breakdown of the family, children may be overly cautious about people and things around them because of the parents' aloofness, unwilling to open their hearts to others, and thus engage in self-isolation.

25. 这个奶奶年轻的时候勤劳能干，尤其是对自己的孙子孙女，心疼的不要不要的，我清楚的记得有一次他的孙子见别人吃糖也想要，那时候的村里还买不到，七月的夏天，还是中午，他奶奶硬是顶着大太阳亲自骑着自行车跑到十几里以外的镇上给孩子买，等他奶奶回来的时候，脸上的汗都往下淌，衣服也全是湿的！但看到孙子开心的样子，奶奶也高兴的笑了！

25. This grandmother was hardworking and capable in her youth, especially to her grandchildren, who she cherished deeply. I clearly remember one time when her grandson saw someone eating candy and wanted some too. At that time, candies couldn't be bought in the village. It was July, a hot summer day, and it was noon. Despite the scorching sun, she stubbornly rode her bicycle all the way to the town, which was over ten miles away, to buy the candy for her child. When she returned, her face was drenched in sweat, and her clothes were completely wet! However, seeing her grandson's joyful expression, the grandmother smiled happily too!

26. 如果一个从小很缺爱的人，大多会发展成为两种人。

26. If someone is severely lacking in love from a young age, they are mostly likely to develop into two types of people.

27. 第二，孩子感受到父母以外的他人的爱和关怀，所以孩子有了爱的感觉！

27. Secondly, the child feels love and care from others besides their parents, so the child has a sense of love!

28. 唉，唏嘘一声！

28. Alas, a sigh of woe!

29. 也正是她这种拼劲和善于抓住人生的每一次机遇，让遇到了她人生中的贵人—老蒙。通过自身的不断努力，加上高人指点，她成为企业高管，经济独立，不依赖任何人。

29. It is precisely her tenacity and her ability to seize every opportunity in life that led her to meet her life's benefactor, Old Meng. Through her own continuous efforts, combined with guidance from a wise person, she has become a senior executive in a company, financially independent, and does not depend on anyone.

30. 因为从小就没有得到父母的爱，也没得到家庭的温暖，所以当她长大以后，只要觉得别人对她好一点，她就会作践自己。

30. Because she never received love from her parents and never experienced the warmth of a family, as she grew up, she would belittle herself whenever she felt that others treated her a little better.

31. 从小缺乏爱，是否就后天没有希望了哪？当然不是。

31. Is it true that if someone lacks love from a young age, they have no hope for the future? Of course not.

32. 父亲的爱，是怎样的？是含蓄的而温暖的，是费心为子女的，是特别的，是真诚的。

32. What is the love of a father like? It is reserved yet warm, thoughtful for his children, special, and sincere.

33. 第三个男人，萧军。他们的相遇是萧红一生中最美好的时刻。萧红以为找到了爱情的归宿，全身心地投入其中

33. The third man is Xiao Jun. Their encounter was the most beautiful moment in Xiao Hong's life. Xiao Hong thought she had found her place in love and wholeheartedly immersed herself in it.

34. 儿子上学、 旅游 、出国，母亲卖房赞助，而女儿只能做家务、自己挣钱上学。房子卖了还得和父母挤在一个房间里。

34. The son goes to school, travels, and studies abroad, and the mother sells the house to sponsor him, while the daughter can only do housework and earn her own money to attend school. After selling the house, she still has to share a room with her parents.

35. 时间似流水，一眨眼，我已经十四岁了，已步入了中学的校门。再看您——头上已爬上了许多银丝。

35. Time flows like water, and in a blink of an eye, I am already fourteen years old and have stepped into the door of middle school. Looking at you, there are already many silver threads on your head.

36. 从小缺爱，这个不是我们能够掌控的东西，因为给你爱的人是你的父母、是你的亲人、甚至你的朋友，他们是否给予你爱，这是我们不能掌控的。虽然我们的成长经历可能会很坎坷，从小的生活条件或许也会并不怎么理想，但是长大之后我们可以掌控更多的是我们的自身，从小缺爱，说起来可能更像是一种先天不足的感觉，但是我们可以通过后天的努力来去弥补，如果你觉得从小到大别人给不了你想要的爱，那是否可以从这一刻起，你把这个赋予爱的权利交还给自己。你可以对自己好一点，想买的东西就努力买，想要追求的人就努力的去追求，别人给不给我们爱是我们无法控制的东西，但我们可以自爱，虽然说从小到大你可能得不到你想要的爱，但是现在你已经长大了，你可以爱自己，和爱自己也是爱别人的前提。

36. Growing up without love is something we cannot control, because the people who are supposed to love you are your parents, your relatives, or even your friends, and whether they provide you with love is something we cannot control. Although our growth experiences may be fraught with difficulties, and the living conditions from a young age might not have been ideal, we can take more control over ourselves as adults. Growing up without love may feel more like a congenital deficiency, but we can make up for it through our efforts. If you feel that others have not been able to give you the love you wanted since childhood, perhaps from this moment on, you can return the right to love to yourself. You can treat yourself better, work hard for what you want to buy, and pursue the person you want to pursue. Whether others give us love is something we cannot control, but we can love ourselves. Although you may not have received the love you wanted from others since childhood, now that you have grown up, you can love yourself, and loving yourself is also the premise of loving others.

37. 父爱不像母爱那样的温柔，那样的温暖，那样的舒服，但父爱有它独特的色彩。它深沉，它含蓄，对儿女默默奉献着；它踏实，它真实，它一直这样付出着。

37. Fatherly love is not as gentle, as warm, or as comfortable as maternal love, but it has its unique hues. It is profound, reserved, and quietly devoted to its children; it is solid, authentic, and it has always been giving in this way.

38. 我想说，一个刚出生、什么也干不了的婴儿，没有成人的照顾连活下来都很难，这个成人不是父母也有其他人，每个婴儿都因为有爱才能活下来，包括活下来说自己缺爱！

38. I want to say that a newborn baby, who can do nothing, would find it extremely difficult to survive without the care of an adult, and this adult doesn't have to be the parents; it could be someone else. Every baby survives because of love, including those who survive and claim to lack love!

39. 同时这种情况在婚姻当中也会出现，婚姻当中有一方过多的向对方示好。其实就是缺爱的一种表现，因为需要通过不断的向对方示好，来测试对方是否爱自己。因为从小到大体验到的不被爱的感觉实在太多了，内心有很多的不安全感，所以要不停的重复试探来满足内心安全感的缺失。

39. This situation also occurs in marriage, where one party excessively shows favor to the other. It is actually a manifestation of a lack of love, as they need to constantly show favor to test if the other person loves them. Because from childhood to adulthood, they have experienced too much of the feeling of not being loved, and they have a lot of insecurity within their hearts. Therefore, they need to repeatedly test and challenge to satisfy the lack of inner security.

40. 不管我们曾被这个世界怎样对待过，我们都有发展自己爱的能力的选择权，关键是你要知道自己要什么？爱与被爱都需要智慧，既不过度讨好，也不一味索取，即拥有爱的能力。

40. No matter how this world has treated us, we all have the choice to develop our own ability to love. The key is to know what you want? Both loving and being loved require wisdom; it's not about over-pleasing nor about taking without giving, which is the ability to love.

41. 我一岁时，你抱着我，讲故事给我听。我报答你，在睡梦中开心地笑了。

41. When I was one year old, you held me in your arms and told me stories. In return, I rewarded you by smiling happily in my sleep.

42. 我四岁时，很怕吃药。那次，因为不吃药，你打了我，手印印在了我屁股上，我哭得好伤心。你心疼了，买了一个变形金刚送给我。我报答你，开心的笑了，却好久都不和你说话。

42. When I was four years old, I was very afraid of taking medicine. That time, because I wouldn't take the medicine, you hit me, and the handprint was left on my buttocks, and I cried so bitterly. You felt sorry for me, and bought a Transformer to give me. In return, I smiled happily, but I didn't talk to you for a long time.

43. 当你在这么问的时候，说明你可能当下遇遇到了这样的事，或者你的行为，你自己已经觉察到了。不过，从我专业的角度来说，我给你的回答是未必，为什么会说是未必呢？因为你用了“丧失”这一个词，其实不是你没有爱的能力，而是因为你没有学会怎么爱别人。因为一个人爱别人的方式，最早的时候是从父母那里学到的。而我们当下的亲密关系，可能是在重复小时候和父母的关系。

43. When you ask such questions, it indicates that you might be experiencing something like this at the moment, or you have already become aware of your own actions. However, from a professional perspective, my answer to you is that it may not be the case. Why do I say "may not be"? Because you used the word "loss," which actually doesn't mean you lack the ability to love; instead, it's that you haven't learned how to love others. The way one loves others is initially learned from their parents. And our current intimate relationships may be a repetition of the relationship with our parents in our childhood.

44. 诗兰说 原生家庭是我们无法选择的，父母也是我们不能挑选的，或许我们始终都没有办法原谅原生家庭带给我们的伤害，但沉浸在过去的积怨中并不能改变什么。

44. Shi Lan says, "Our original family is something we cannot choose, and our parents are people we cannot pick. Perhaps we will never be able to forgive the injuries our original family brings us, but dwelling on past grievances will not change anything. "

45. 每个孩子的性格特点不同，不同年龄段的孩子的需求也不同，对待孩子有时并不需要完全的平等。父母要学会降低孩子的嫉妒感，让孩子在父母的关爱下 健康 成长。

45. Each child has different personality traits, and the needs of children in different age groups are also different. Sometimes, treating children does not require complete equality. Parents need to learn to reduce their children's jealousy and allow them to grow up healthily under their parents' care.