1. 从来没人能带着幽默感离开这个地方。

1. No one has ever been able to leave this place with a sense of humor.

2. 请保证你会对我好点，这样我就能善待他人。

2. Please ensure that you will treat me better, so that I can be kind to others.

3. 当你遇到困难的时候，只有两个选择：要么哭，要么笑。笑声，可是天然的麻醉剂；哭泣，则痛彻心扉。在乎越多越容易受伤。?>

3. When you encounter difficulties, there are only two choices: either to cry or to laugh. Laughter is a natural anesthetic; crying, however, can be piercingly painful. The more you care, the easier you are to get hurt.?>

4. 生活就好比是一部无尽的灾难片，幸福就好像其中插播的商业广告一样短暂，然而现在已经到了最后的广告插播时间。

4. Life is like an endless disaster movie, where happiness is as fleeting as the commercial breaks in the middle. However, we are now at the final commercial break time.

5. 如果我告诉你我们能把你治好，听起来怎么样？

5. How does it sound if I tell you that we can cure you?

6. 如果作为超级英雄就等于放过危险的疯子，那或许我并不应该成为超级英雄，又不是每个人都跟你一样高尚得跟个圣父似的。

6. If being a superhero means letting loose dangerous lunatics, maybe I shouldn't be a superhero after all. Not everyone is as noble as you, acting like a saint.

7. 结论别下的那么早，性感小辣椒。

7. Don't jump to conclusions so early, spicy little pepper.

8. 死侍的开头桥上的打斗场景，那个大桥的名字是Peter大桥（蜘蛛侠就叫Peter）；死侍在和女朋友谈恋爱时他女朋友发现了一个死侍收藏的玩偶，是金刚狼前传里的死侍（调侃金刚狼前传把死侍拍毁了）；死侍在接受改造时说不要给他绿色的紧身服（死侍的演员演过DC的绿灯侠，然而却是个烂片）；弗兰西斯在被死侍喋喋不休的嘴炮说烦了以后说要把死侍嘴封起来，死侍说：相信我，你不会想那么做的。（想想金刚狼前传里死侍被封嘴后发生了什么吧）；死侍在最后救女朋友的时候遇见了他的好基友鲍勒（一个九头蛇的小杂兵）；最后死侍救出女朋友和她接吻时，他女朋友把死侍面具摘下来后，死侍还把小罗伯特·唐尼（钢铁侠的演员）的照片钉在脸上。中间还有的彩蛋我忘了，你可以去死侍吧里好像有**彩蛋盘点。纯手打求采纳

8. The opening fight scene on the bridge in Deadpool, where the bridge is named Peter Bridge (as Spider-Man's name is Peter); while Deadpool is dating his girlfriend, she discovers a doll from Deadpool in the X-Men Origins: Wolverine that Deadpool had collected, a playful dig at the movie that "ruined" Deadpool; during the transformation, Deadpool said he didn't want the green spandex suit (the actor who played Deadpool also played the Green Lantern for DC, but it was a flop); after being bothered by Deadpool's endless chatter, Francis says she wants to have Deadpool's mouth sealed shut, to which Deadpool replies: Believe me, you wouldn't want to do that (just think about what happened to Deadpool when his mouth was sealed in the X-Men Origins: Wolverine); during the climax when he saves his girlfriend, Deadpool encounters his good friend Boll (a low-level Hydra operative); at the end when Deadpool saves his girlfriend and they kiss, after she removes his mask, Deadpool still has a photo of Robert Downey Jr. (the actor who plays Iron Man) nailed to his face. There were some easter eggs in the middle that I forgot, you can check out the Deadpool Bar for a list of easter eggs. This is all typed manually, please accept it.

9. 虽然你不能用钱来买爱情，但还是可以租个三分钟的。

9. Although you can't buy love with money, you can still rent it for three minutes.

10. 噢别走，你就这么把我和没那么生气的罗西奥唐纳扔在一起吗？

Oh, don't go! Are you just going to leave me and an angry Rosario Donner together like this?

11. 在一切结束之后，我们遗憾的不是我们做过了什么，而是我们还有什么没去做。

11. After everything is over, what we regret is not what we have done, but what we have not yet done.

12. 干他娘的，你看着真***让人难受。

12. Dammit, you really are a pain in the ass to look at.

13. 并不需要成为超级英雄才能追到妹子，对的人会让你成为超级英雄。

13. You don't need to be a superhero to win a girl's heart. The right person will make you into a superhero.

14. 我打女的算性别歧视吗？还是不打才算？我被搞糊涂了。

14. Is hitting women considered gender discrimination, or is it only discrimination if I don't hit them? I'm confused.

15. 等一下！你们也许不知道为啥哥穿一身红色杀马特，这样坏人就看不出我流血了。这边这位小哥理解对了，他穿了屎黄色裤子。

15. Wait a minute! You might not know why I'm wearing a red "shamot" outfit. This way, the bad guys can't tell I'm bleeding. That young man over there got it right; he's wearing pants in a shit yellow color.

16. 你是个战士。我们可以给你大多人梦寐以求的能力，让你成为超级英雄。

16. You are a warrior. We can give you the powers most people dream of, turning you into a superhero.

17. 我爱你，韦德威尔逊，我们能挺过。

17. I love you, Wade Wilson, we can get through this.

18. 但千万别让我穿绿色制服，或者加特技duang！

18. But please don't make me wear a green uniform, or do a stunt "duang"!

19. 你左腿是圣诞节，右腿是感恩节，我能在节日中间拜访你吗？

19. Your left leg is Christmas and your right leg is Thanksgiving, may I visit you in between the holidays?

20. 这能激发信心，对吧？对吧？好吧，没有。

20. Does this inspire confidence, right? Right? Well, no.

21. 当生活极其不如意时，你可以回想某个重大的、糟糕的决定，那个一路把你带到谷底的决定。

21. When life is extremely unhappy, you can recall a significant, bad decision that led you to the bottom.

22. 你说得对。癌细胞不过扩散在我的肝肺前列腺和大脑，没这些杂碎我也能活。

22. You're right. The cancer cells have spread to my liver, lungs, prostate, and brain, but I could still live without these messes.