在探寻成长的奥秘中，我们总会与三种人建立起良好的关系。这三种人，犹如灯塔，照亮我们前行的道路，助力我们在人生的航程中加速成长。本文将揭开这三种神秘人物的面纱，探寻他们如何与我们携手共进，共创美好未来。

In the quest to uncover the mysteries of growth, we always establish good relationships with three types of people. These three people, like lighthouses, illuminate our path forward and help us accelerate our growth on the journey of life. This article will unveil the veils of these three mysterious individuals, exploring how they join hands with us to create a beautiful future together.

1. 增强抵抗力：开心的人更有韧性，更能够抵抗生活中的挫折和困难。他们能够从失败中更快地恢复，从挫折中更快地站起来。

1. Enhanced Resilience: Happy people are more resilient and better able to withstand setbacks and difficulties in life. They are able to recover from failures more quickly and bounce back from setbacks more rapidly.

2. 提升工作效率：开心的人更有动力，更专注，因此工作效率更高。他们能够更好地应对工作中的挑战，从而获得更好的工作成绩。

2. Improve work efficiency: Happy people are more motivated and focused, which leads to higher work efficiency. They are better able to handle challenges at work, thereby achieving better work performance.

3. 第三种，虚假的“良好关系”，我们身边有一些每天给我们打鸡血的人，他们每次会约我们一起看**逛街吃饭，看似我们关系形影不离，但是放纵久了我们也会觉得这种生活没劲。

3. The third type is the false "good relationship." Some people around us give us a morale boost every day, inviting us to go shopping and eat out together. It seems that our relationship is inseparable, but after a long period of indulgence, we may also find this kind of life boring.

4. 圈子不同，不要强融。认知不同，咫尺天涯。有些人，虽然出类拔萃，不同凡响，但为此可以和你合得来。

4. Different circles, don't force yourself to fit in. Different cognitive levels can make you feel like you're worlds apart. Some people, although outstanding and extraordinary, may not necessarily get along well with you for that reason.

5. 增强人际关系：开心的人更容易建立和维持良好的人际关系。因为他们积极、乐观的态度，使得人们更愿意与他们相处，从而形成良性循环，进一步增加他们的社交活动，提高生活质量。

5. Enhancing interpersonal relationships: Happy people are more likely to establish and maintain good interpersonal relationships. Their positive and optimistic attitude makes people more willing to interact with them, thus creating a virtuous cycle. This further increases their social activities and improves their quality of life.

6. 与乐观的人共事，我们能受到积极情绪的感染，超越现实的泥泞和坎坷，活出自己的精彩。

6. Working with optimistic people, we can be infected by positive emotions, rise above the mire and坎坷 of reality, and live out our own brilliance.

7. 苏东坡恍然大悟，从此放下人事和名利的牵绊，专注自己，看淡一切，把自己的小日子经营得有声有色。

7. Su Dongpo suddenly realized it, and from then on, he let go of the entanglements of human affairs and fame and fortune, focused on himself, took everything lightly, and made his own little life colorful and vibrant.

8. TO DO List

8. To Do List

9. 苏东坡因为乌台诗案被贬黄州，人生陷入困境。这时，他的好朋友、一代高僧佛印总是开导他，鼓励他，以乐观的心态感染他，让他走出了内心痛苦的阴霾。

9. Su Dongpo was demoted to Huangzhou due to the Wutai Poetry Incident, and his life fell into困境. At this time, his good friend, the great monk Foyin, always comforted and encouraged him, infecting him with an optimistic attitude, helping him to overcome the dark clouds of inner pain.

10. 3第四种关系在职场中的运用，公司领导层和下属之间要建立第四种人际关系，在公司要更多的鼓励员工、给他们赋能相信他们一定有所作为，也相信他们能处理好自己手头的工作、看到他们的闪光点并不断放大给到他们积极正向的反馈，对于团队成员之间要强调“不开枪、不防御”公司氛围，也就是对事不对人。员工之间、员工和领导之间要学会倾听对方的意见。

10.4 The application of the fourth type of relationship in the workplace: Company leadership and subordinates should establish the fourth type of interpersonal relationship. In the company, it is more important to encourage employees, empower them, and believe that they can achieve great things. Also, believe that they can handle their work well, see their shining points, and continuously amplify them by giving them positive and constructive feedback. For team members, it is emphasized to foster an "unarmed, non-defensive" company atmosphere, which means dealing with issues without personal attacks. Employees should learn to listen to each other's opinions, as well as between employees and leaders.

11. 第四种人际关系，你们之间互相关心、有话直说，能给你提出建设性意见，你经常能从她身上学到很多新知识，开阔眼界，她也能在你处于舒适区的时候拉你一把，孔子称这种关系为友直、友量、友多闻。这才是我们所追求的良好人际关系。

11. The fourth type of interpersonal relationship is one where you care for each other, speak your mind openly, and can offer constructive suggestions. You often learn a lot of new knowledge from her, broaden your horizons, and she can also pull you out of your comfort zone when you are in it. Confucius refers to this type of relationship as "a friend who speaks his mind openly," "a friend who is generous," and "a friend who is knowledgeable." This is the kind of good interpersonal relationship that we strive for.

12. 哈佛大学研究发现，一个人的成就，一般是他最常接触的六个人的平均值。

12. A Harvard University study found that a person's achievements are generally the average of the six people they interact with most often.

13. 学会甄选朋友，远离消耗自己的人，亲近滋养自己的人，我们就能赋能自己，越变越好。

13. Learn to choose friends wisely, stay away from those who drain you, and be close to those who nourish you. In this way, we can empower ourselves and become better and better.

14. 身边人的情绪波动，心态心境，会直接影响到我们的内心感受。

14. The emotional fluctuations and mental states of the people around us directly affect our inner feelings.

15. 再看看一些专科学校，大部分学生每天打游戏、刷肥皂剧、谈恋爱、唱K，几乎不把学习当回事，当然毕业后用人单位也不会把他们当回事。

15. Take a look at some specialized colleges, where most students spend their days playing video games, watching melodramas, dating, and singing in KTVs, barely concerning themselves with studying. Of course, employers will not take them seriously after graduation either.

16. 鸟随鸾凤飞腾远，人伴良贤品自高。

16. Birds follow the phoenix to soar far, and people, accompanied by virtuous and wise companions, naturally elevate their character.

17. 杜甫曾写诗纪念他们的友谊：“醉眠秋共被，携手日同行。更想幽期处，还寻北郭生。”

17. Du Fu once wrote a poem in remembrance of their friendship: "Drunk together, we sleep under the autumn quilt, holding hands, we walk together in the day. Even more, I think of our secret rendezvous, and still seek the North City's child."

18. 人活着，就图一个高兴。和乐观的人共事，让自己开开心心的，才是一个人最大的价值。

18. As long as people are alive, they seek happiness. To work with optimistic people and make oneself happy is the greatest value of a person.

19. 圈子决定命运，朋友影响人生。

19. Circles determine destiny, and friends influence life.

20. 和优秀的人同行，耳濡目染之下，你也会得到高尚品质和卓越思维的陶冶，渐渐拥有优秀的习惯。

20. By accompanying outstanding individuals, through constant exposure, you will also be nurtured with noble qualities and exceptional thinking, and gradually develop excellent habits.

21. 他们一起游山玩水，吟诗纵酒，骑马打猎，相处非常惬意。

21. They enjoyed themselves together, traveling through mountains and rivers, reciting poems and drinking, riding horses to hunt, and spent time together in great comfort.

22. 和舒服的人相处，我们才能无拘无束，潇潇洒洒过好当下的生活。

22. We can only live a carefree and elegant life in the present when we are with comfortable people.

23. 你和什么样的人同行，就会得到什么样的感染，最后成为什么样的人。

23. The company you keep will infect you with the same character, and in the end, you will become that person.

24. 成长最快的方式，是和这三种人相处。

24. The fastest way to grow is to be with these three kinds of people.

25. 天宝年间，李白、杜甫和高适在河南相遇。他们年龄不同，性格迥异，但一见如故，一拍即合，对彼此有着深深的好感。

25. During the Tianbao era, Li Bai, Du Fu, and Gao Shi met in Henan. Although they were of different ages and had distinct personalities, they became good friends at first sight and got along harmoniously, harboring deep fondness for each other.

26. 曾经火遍网络的名校食堂自习图，让人震撼。清华、北大、浙大等985名校的晚间食堂，饭桌前坐满密密麻麻上自习的人。他们专心致志，鸦雀无声，在知识的海洋里遨游。

26. The famous school cafeteria self-study photos that once went viral on the internet are awe-inspiring. The evening canteens of prestigious universities such as Tsinghua, Peking, and Zhejiang, which are part of the 985 elite universities, are filled with students studying diligently at the dining tables. They are fully focused, with not a sound to be heard, as they navigate the vast ocean of knowledge.

27. 自信：自信是一个女人展现最好状态的重要因素。当一个女人拥有自信，她会更加勇敢地追求自己的梦想和目标，不畏困难和挑战。自信的女人通常能够积极应对生活中的各种问题，并且能够坚持自己的价值观和信仰。她们散发出一种内在的力量和魅力，让人感到钦佩和吸引。

27. Confidence: Confidence is an important factor for a woman to showcase her best self. When a woman possesses confidence, she will be more courageous in pursuing her dreams and goals, unafraid of difficulties and challenges. Confident women are usually able to positively tackle various issues in life and can uphold their values and beliefs. They exude an inner strength and charm that is awe-inspiring and attractive.

28. 1熟练掌握第四种人际关系的核心：爱、自由、独立，在对待朋友、亲人甚至以后的孩子都要给到他们足够的爱、独立和自由，把自己的价值观内化给他们，就不需要担心他们的成长。

28. 1 Proficiently master the core of the fourth interpersonal relationship: love, freedom, and independence. When dealing with friends, relatives, and even their future children, provide them with enough love, independence, and freedom. Internalize your own values into them, and there is no need to worry about their growth.

29. 人是社会化的产物，我们每个人都渴望在群体中建立第四种人际关系，那就要求我们在生活中多运用利他思维，学会倾听、共情和积极正面的反馈，这样才能和他人建立第四种人际关系。

29. Humans are products of socialization, and each of us yearns to establish the fourth type of interpersonal relationship within a group. This requires us to apply altruistic thinking more in our lives, learn to listen, empathize, and provide positive feedback, so that we can establish the fourth type of interpersonal relationship with others.

30. 一日，两人在寺庙中看见观音菩萨手持念珠。苏东坡问，观音手持念珠，是做什么呢？佛印答：她在念佛啊。苏东坡说，她自己就是佛，为何还要念佛。佛印说，她在求佛，求人难，求人不如求己。

30. One day, the two saw the Goddess of Mercy holding prayer beads in a temple. Su Dongpo asked, "What is the Goddess of Mercy doing by holding prayer beads?" Fo Yin replied, "She is reciting Buddha's name." Su Dongpo said, "She is herself a Buddha, why does she still need to recite Buddha's name?" Fo Yin said, "She is seeking the Buddha's blessings. It's difficult to seek others, so it's better to seek oneself."

31. 相反，你身边人被怨气、戾气、悲气缭绕，怨声载道，牢骚满腹，那你也会受到影响，掉入“情绪黑洞”之中。

31. On the contrary, if the people around you are surrounded by resentment, anger, and melancholy, with complaints filling the air and grievances brimming, you will also be affected, and may fall into the "emotional black hole."

32. 独立：独立是一个女人活得最好的另一种状态。当一个女人能够独立思考、独立行动，并且不依赖于他人，她会更加自由地追求自己的理想和幸福。独立的女人通常能够自主地做出决策，并且为自己的生活负责。她们拥有自己的事业、兴趣爱好和个人空间，展现出一种坚强和自主的姿态。

32. Independence: Independence is another state in which a woman can live her best life. When a woman can think independently, act independently, and not depend on others, she will be able to pursue her ideals and happiness more freely. Independent women are usually able to make decisions autonomously and take responsibility for their own lives. They have their own careers, hobbies, and personal space, displaying a strong and self-reliant demeanor.

33. 2百变三角形原理，即施暴者、受害者和拯救者，我发现我自己这三种角色都扮演过，就拿我家人来说，我在弟弟和伴侣之间总是扮演拯救者，帮助他们解决矛盾，导致他们经常沟通障碍，对我形成依赖，我自己也累经常夹在中间。我和妈妈之间我经常扮演受害者，我爸经常过来拯救我们的关系，导致我和我妈经常需要他来协助，好在现在我学习了，慢慢看清这些角色，放手了，他们每次求救我的时候我总是顾左右而言它，对自己说这是他们的事情，我不掺和。

33. The principle of the 200-sided triangle, that is, the abuser, the victim, and the savior, I found that I have played all three roles myself. Taking my family as an example, I always play the role of the savior between my brother and my partner, helping them resolve their conflicts, which often leads to communication barriers, making them dependent on me, and also causing me to be exhausted, always caught in the middle. Between me and my mother, I often play the role of the victim, and my father often comes to save our relationship, leading to my mother and I frequently needing his assistance. Fortunately, now that I have learned and gradually realized these roles, I have let go. Every time they come to me for help, I always evade the issue, telling myself that it's their business and I shouldn't get involved.

34. 不是每一条鱼都生活在同一片海里，不是每一个人都和你在同一个层次。

34. Not every fish lives in the same sea, and not everyone is on the same level as you.

35. 3对于父母之间、亲人和伴侣之间朋友和朋友之间，我不要制造一个百变三角形，更多的让他们自行解决问题，独挡一面，因为任何人之间关系的建立都是从摩擦开始再到第四种人际关系的。

35. 3 For parents, relatives, partners, friends, and among friends, I do not want to create a versatile triangle. More importantly, let them solve their own problems independently and face challenges on their own. Because the establishment of any relationship between people always starts with friction and evolves into the fourth type of interpersonal relationship.

36. 互联网的快速发展放大了我们每个人的能力，越来越多的网红、大咖浮出水面被我们看到，他们看似是个人在不断提升自己给自己加压，最后感觉把自己压的喘不过气来，实际上每一个好的大V 、网红、成功人士他背后都是有搭档的，比如巴菲特和查理芒格，乔布斯和他的搭档，比尔盖茨和他的搭档等，所以好的人际关系是能助力我们成长迭代自己的。

36. The rapid development of the internet has amplified each of our abilities, and we are seeing more and more internet celebrities and big names emerge. They seem to be individuals constantly pushing themselves and increasing their pressure, eventually feeling like they are being suffocated. In reality, every successful big V, internet celebrity, or successful person has a partner behind them, such as Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger, Steve Jobs and his partner, and Bill Gates and his partner, etc. Therefore, good interpersonal relationships can help us grow and iterate ourselves.

37. 俗话说：近朱者赤，近墨者黑。

37. As the saying goes: "Those who associate with the red will become red, and those who associate with the black will become black."

38. 1一个人获取幸福的三种方式，首先是大脑皮质醇会分泌一种让我们开心快乐的物质，叫多巴胺比如我们刚谈恋爱的时候会觉得特别幸福。第二就是思维认知，这是从精神层面去感知幸福，比如我们的不向外求，或者努力提升自己的能力，做一个有价值的人这些都能让我们觉得幸福。第三点就是良好的人际关系，人是社会的产物，所以需要通过他人的认可、沟通、倾听、共情来感受幸福。

38. 1 There are three ways to achieve happiness: Firstly, the cortex of the brain secretes a substance called dopamine, which makes us happy and joyful. For example, when we are in love, we feel particularly happy. Secondly, it is cognitive thinking, which perceives happiness at a spiritual level. For example, our not seeking happiness from others, or striving to improve our abilities to become a valuable person, all of these can make us feel happy. Thirdly, it is good interpersonal relationships. Since humans are products of society, we need to experience happiness through others' recognition, communication, listening, and empathy.

39. 一个女人活得最好的三种状态：自信、独立、幸福。

39. The three best states for a woman to live in: confidence, independence, and happiness.

40. 2以后我要做一个利他、正能量的人，多给到朋友、亲人建设性的意见和正向反馈，而不是一味的以爱的名义控制和打击他们，要与他们建立第四种人际关系。

40. 2 From now on, I want to be a selfless and positive person, giving more constructive advice and positive feedback to my friends and family, rather than controlling and undermining them in the name of love. I want to establish the fourth type of interpersonal relationship with them.

41. 与优秀的人同行，才能成为更好的自己。

41. To walk with the excellent, one can become a better version of oneself.

42. 意思是，喝醉后可以同盖被子睡觉,白天就结伴携手一起游玩。想到我们还有个隐逸的期约，便一同去寻访城北郭先生。

42. It means that after getting drunk, one can sleep under the same blanket, and during the day, they can go out and play together. Thinking of our secret appointment for seclusion, we went together to visit Mr. Guo in the northern suburbs of the city.

43. 第二种，坏的连接，比如我和伴侣之间之前就属于这种，他总是不断的打击指责批评我，经常对我说一些负能量的话语，我在他面前非常小心翼翼很压抑。（刚和他说了，他意识到问题要改了）

43. The second type is a bad connection, like the one between my partner and me used to be. He always kept on with打击 (to attack) and指责 (to accuse) and批评 (to criticize) me, often saying negative things to me. In his presence, I was very careful and felt oppressed. (I just told him, and he realized the problem and wants to make a change.)

44. 1市面上很多鸡汤文章都强调先爱好自己，再爱别人。爱是一个动词，它是一种能力，我们既然能爱好自己那也就能爱好别人，很多时候我们打着爱自己的名义去放纵自己、满足自己的私欲，这不是爱自己的方式。

44. 1 Many chicken soup articles on the market emphasize the idea of loving oneself first, and then loving others. Love is a verb, it is a skill, and since we are capable of loving ourselves, we are also capable of loving others. Often, we use the excuse of loving ourselves to indulge in our own desires and satisfy our own greed, which is not the way to truly love ourselves.

45. 与舒服的人相处，养生养心，幸福感会增强。

45. Being with comfortable people promotes both physical and mental health, thereby enhancing one's sense of well-being.