他，在岁月的洗礼中，渐失了那份张扬的笑颜，不再轻易公开展露。

He, having undergone the test of time, has gradually lost that exuberant smile, no longer easily displaying it publicly.

1. 如果你一直都控制不好自己的话，你都要先为难下自己！

1. If you've always struggled to control yourself, you need to put yourself through some difficulties first!

2. 对于这样一段看不到未来的感情，我个人建议没有必要再继续下去。他可以重新去找一个不公开爱情的女朋友，你也可以找一个愿意把你向朋友圈子公开的男朋友。你们两个人各有各的幸福，可是你们的幸福并不相干。

2. For such a relationship with no future in sight, I personally suggest there is no need to continue it any further. He can find another girlfriend who does not publicize her love, and you can find a boyfriend who is willing to introduce you to his social circle. Both of you have your own happiness, but your happiness is not connected to each other.

3. 不论你多爱他，学会拒绝，你要挂了，要适时的拒绝下！

3. No matter how much you love him, learn to say no. If you're about to collapse, it's time to reject [it] appropriately!

4. ❺你转身时裙摆扬起的弧度，比他指尖的温度更锋利——偶尔展示社交圈中的鲜活身影，才是刺破他安全感的最佳匕首。

4. The arc of your skirt as you turn is sharper than the temperature of his fingertips — occasionally showing a vibrant presence in social circles is the best dagger to pierce his sense of security.

5. 我认为你不该继续和他在一起，因为他从未想要给你幸福。

6. 在男女确定恋爱关系之后，两个人或许并不会刻意的向身边所有人宣告自己脱单的消息，可是却绝不会隐瞒自己已经有对象的事实。如果你的另一半选择了隐瞒，那只能说明他想要的另一半不是你。

5. I believe you shouldn't continue being with him, as he has never wanted to give you happiness. 6. After men and women confirm their romantic relationship, the two may not deliberately announce to everyone around them that they are in a relationship, but they will never hide the fact that they are already in a relationship. If your partner chooses to hide it, it only means that the person they want is not you.

7. 也许男人比女人更自律，作为男人的社会责任感和自觉性让他们不会轻易哭泣。甚至分手对他们来说都是痛苦和伤害。有的男人和女人一样深情，突然面临分手。他们的第一反应其实是找个没人的地方，好好哭一场。或者叫几个哥们喝个烂醉不归；但是哭过吵过之后，大部分男人都会收起分手后受伤的感情，重新回到《铁人》中去，因为他们知道，不管怎样，生活还是要继续的。既然无法挽回，不如放生，好好活着。

7. Perhaps men are more self-disciplined than women, and their sense of social responsibility and self-awareness as men prevent them from easily shedding tears. Even a breakup is painful and hurtful to them. Some men, just like women, can be deeply affectionate and suddenly face a breakup. Their first instinct is actually to find a place where no one is around, to have a good cry. Or to gather a few friends to get drunk and not return; but after crying and arguing, most men will put away the hurt feelings from the breakup and return to their "Iron Man" lives, because they know that no matter what, life must go on. Since it cannot be reversed, it's better to let it go and live well.

8. 也许你不愿放弃是觉得离开这个人就找不到好男人了，但是如果你优秀了，优秀的人自然会被你吸引过来，而且你更有选择权。

8. Perhaps you are reluctant to give up because you think that if you leave this person, you won't be able to find a good man. However, if you become outstanding, outstanding people will naturally be attracted to you, and you will have more choices.

9. 这是分手反弹的明显迹象。在浅层意识中，由于自我保护机制的作用，一个人把自己的“想他”转化为“只想做朋友”的共同想法，但实际上，在潜意识中，有超过一半的人可能希望与她重新开始关系，更多地了解她的消息，这才是渴望再次亲近她的真实体现。

9. This is a clear sign of the rebound after a breakup. In the subconscious, due to the action of self-protection mechanisms, a person turns their "missing him" into a common thought of "only wanting to be friends," but actually, in the subconscious, more than half of people may hope to restart a relationship with her, to learn more about her news, which is the true manifestation of the desire to get close to her again.

10. 很多男人失恋后都会这样。突然从两个人互相照顾的共生状态变成一个人消磨一整天，心理上会有些不习惯。我希望有一个女生陪我，最好是和她一样的秉性或者特质，比如温柔可爱。只有和这样的女孩在一起，我才能找到我熟悉的安全感。

10. Many men will experience this after a breakup. Suddenly, transitioning from a symbiotic state of mutual care between two people to spending the entire day alone, there will be some psychological unease. I hope to have a girl by my side, preferably one with a similar character or traits, like gentleness and cuteness. Only with such a girl can I find the familiar sense of security I am looking for.

11. 2我想再联系他，但我只是想做朋友，却又出于自尊摇摆不定，不知道该怎么办。

11.2 I want to get in touch with him again, but I just want to be friends. However, I am wavering between my pride and not knowing what to do.

12. 第三，暧昧的这段时间，你是变美了还是变丑了，是变好了还是变差了？如果跟他相处让你疲惫不堪，令你愁容满面、不再美丽，那就离开吧。不如用那些时间和精力好好爱自己，好好提升自己。

12. Thirdly, during this ambiguous period, have you become more beautiful or uglier, better or worse? If being with him makes you exhausted and causes you to have a frowning face and lose your beauty, then it's time to leave. It's better to use that time and energy to love yourself well and to improve yourself.

13. ❿最深的失去感，是你仍旧站在他触手可及的范围里，却让他恍然惊觉，这道影子早已不需要他的光来确认存在。

13. The deepest sense of loss is when you still stand within reach of him, yet he suddenly realizes that this shadow no longer needs his light to confirm its existence.

14. 男人追求女人的时候，对她百般好，事事为她着想，但是两个人在一起之后，女人会感受到男人的改变。他再也不想知道你在做什么了，所以如果一个女人没有把握走进一个男人的心里，那就离得越远越好。毕竟在爱情的世界里，每个人都有自尊。如果女人一直被动接受，你最好离开他。这不是你想要的幸福。

14. When a man is pursuing a woman, he treats her with all sorts of kindness and always thinks about her. However, after they are together, the woman will sense the man's change. He no longer wants to know what you are doing, so if a woman is not sure of entering a man's heart, it is better to keep a distance. After all, in the world of love, everyone has self-respect. If a woman continues to be passively accepted, it's best to leave him. This is not the happiness you want.

15. 即使你很想和他说话，有自己的生活圈子，你忙呢，你是不会得到幸福的，很想见他，你有很多事，为了你们的爱情，在他没打算挂掉之前，告诉他，都不要主动联系他！

15. Even if you are eager to talk to him, have your own social circle, you are busy, you will not find happiness. You are eager to see him, you have many things to do, for the sake of your love, tell him before he has no intention of hanging up, and do not initiate contact with him!

16. 在我有限的几次恋爱经历当中，每次确定恋爱关系之后，我都会请身边朋友吃饭，将他们介绍给我的新任女朋友认识。我也会要求和女朋友的朋友们一起吃饭，我希望我们恋爱的消息能够被身边人知道，也希望我们能够获得身边所有人的祝福。

16. In my limited number of romantic experiences, after confirming a romantic relationship each time, I would invite my friends to dinner and introduce them to my new girlfriend. I would also request to dine with my girlfriend's friends. I hope that the news of our romance can be known to those around us, and I also hope to receive the blessings of everyone around us.

17. 暧昧让人受尽委屈，为何还要坚持下去？换做是我，我会选择离开。

17. Ambiguity causes endless suffering, why should one persist in it? If it were me, I would choose to leave.

18. ❼像调试琴弦般掌控亲密度，太紧会断裂，太松则失声。让他始终在‘即将握紧’与‘可能消散’的临界点徘徊。

18. Like tuning strings, control the intimacy so that it doesn't snap if too tight or fall silent if too loose. Keep him teetering on the edge between 'about to tighten' and 'likely to dissipate'.

19. 看到过这么一段话：当我们把自身变得更优秀时，那些困扰你的问题自然而然就解决了。所以不要把情绪集中在那些无用又暂时无法解决的事情上，把心思集中在如何把自己变得优秀的角度上，把眼光放大一点，你强大了，一切自然会改变。

19. I've seen this phrase before: When we become better ourselves, those困扰ing issues naturally get resolved. So don't focus your emotions on those useless and temporarily unsolvable things. Focus on how to become excellent, broaden your perspective, and when you become stronger, everything will naturally change.

20. 第一，他知道你喜欢他吗？知道你喜欢，还只搞暧昧，说明他不爱你。也许他有更爱的人，也许他更爱他自己，总之，你不是他想爱的人。

20. First, does he know that you like him? If he knows you like him but still only engages in flirtation, it means he doesn't love you. Perhaps he has someone he loves more, or maybe he loves himself more. In any case, you are not the one he wants to love.

21. 两个人吵架的时候，男方会说一些气话，比如让女方现在消失或者滚出去。这个时候，女方不应该和他争论。她失踪了有什么大不了的？男方事后肯定会后悔的。这个时候男方会主动联系你，所以女方不要在他叫你消失后还笑着联系他。只要他不联系你，就不要联系她。让他尝尝失去你的滋味。在以后的生活中，至少会是主导，而不是。

21. When two people are arguing, the man might say some hurtful things, like telling the woman to disappear now or to leave. At this time, the woman should not argue with him. What's the big deal if she goes missing? The man will definitely regret it later. At this time, the man will proactively contact you, so the woman should not contact him with a smile after he tells her to disappear. As long as he doesn't contact you, don't contact him. Let him taste the bitterness of losing you. In the future life, at least you will be the one in control, not him.

22. 1我想找一个没有人的地方，痛痛快快地哭一场，收回眼泪，继续我的新生活。

22. 1 I want to find a place where no one is around, cry my heart out, wipe away the tears, and continue with my new life.

23. 如果你的男朋友都没想过在自己的朋友圈子里公开这段感情，那只能说明他从没有想过让你融入到他的生活里。一段这样的感情，你又怎么能看到未来呢？

23. If your boyfriend has never thought of making his relationship public among his own circle of friends, it only means that he has never intended to integrate you into his life. With such a relationship, how can you see a future?

24. ❸当他习惯了你如氧气般的存在，就试着让空气变得稀薄——真正的‘失去感’从不是恫吓，而是抽离后的窒息体验。

24. ⑧Once he has become accustomed to your presence being as essential as oxygen, try to make the air thin — the true feeling of loss is never a threat, but rather the suffocating experience after withdrawal.

25. ❹别做他保险柜里的藏品，要成为橱窗外惊鸿一瞥的流光。越是隐秘的关系，越要让他恐惧你随时会融进人群成为陌路。

25. ❹ Don't be the treasure in his safe; be the fleeting glimpse of light outside the display window. The more secretive the relationship, the more he should fear that you might merge into the crowd and become a stranger at any moment.

26. 我觉得这是一个正经谈恋爱的态度，如果再确定一段恋爱关系之后，对方都没有想过把朋友介绍给你，那说明他本身就对你不是很满意，两个人之间的感情并不纯粹，你或许不过是他在某个阶段的过渡品。

26. I think this is a serious attitude towards dating. If after confirming a romantic relationship, the other person has never thought of introducing you to their friends, it indicates that they are not very satisfied with you themselves. The feelings between the two of you are not pure, and you might just be a transitional item for them in some stage.

27. 一段真正的感情，虽然没有必要向全天下宣告，可是也从来都不需要隐瞒谁。当一段感情处于不想被公开的阶段，那只能说明两个人之间的感情不对。

27. A genuine affection, although it is not necessary to announce it to the whole world, does not need to be concealed from anyone either. If a relationship is at a stage where it does not wish to be made public, it can only mean that the feelings between the two people are not right.

28. ❻真正的‘失去’从不说再见，而是在某个寻常午后，他忽然发现你的笑容里不再有为他保留的特写镜头。

28. ③ The real 'loss' never says goodbye; instead, on some ordinary afternoon, he suddenly finds that your smile no longer has a close-up shot reserved for him.

29. 这无疑暴露了他的真实内心。可能会对前女友有一些抱怨。这种情况下，基本没有变心。但是其中有提到前女友的好，也暴露了他分手的遗憾。

29. This undoubtedly reveals his true inner feelings. He might have some complaints about his ex-girlfriend. In this case, there is basically no infidelity. However, he also mentioned the good aspects of his ex-girlfriend and revealed his regrets about the breakup.

30. 在一段感情生活当中，两个人想要走得更远，势必需要给予彼此更多承诺，而生活中给予对方承诺，最好的方式就是让对方融入到自己的生活里。

30. In the course of a romantic life, if two people want to go further together, they inevitably need to make more commitments to each other. The best way to make commitments in life is to let the other person integrate into your own life.

31. ❾不必做他故事里永恒的配角，偶尔让‘已读不回’成为你无声的台词——最高明的剧本，永远在留白处藏着惊雷。

31. Don't be the eternal sidekick in his story; occasionally let 'Read but no reply' be your silent subtitle—the most skillful script always hides thunderstorms in the spaces left blank.

32. 不要让他觉得你的生活只有他，说一会学会矜持

32. Don't make him feel that your life revolves around him, and learn to be reserved after a while.

33. 分手是很多人都做过的事。分手练习可以给两个人冷静思考的时间，但有的人分手后就彻底分手了。分手一段时间，男生还是不联系你。可能男生是铁了心要和你分手。

33. Breaking up is something many people have done. Break-up practice can give both parties time to think calmly, but some people break up completely after that. If you break up for a while and the boy still doesn't contact you, it may be that the boy is determined to break up with you.

34. ❷不必在寂静的深夜反复追问答案，偶尔消失的对话框和戛然而止的分享欲，才是让他恐慌的未读信号。

34. ❷ There is no need to repeatedly question the answer in the quiet of the night. The occasional disappearing chat boxes and the abrupt end of the desire to share are the unread signals that cause him to panic.

35. 你觉得爱情不远不近，是因为他对你呼之即来挥之即去吧。他可能只是想从你这里获取某些东西，也许是金钱、也许是照顾、也许是打发时间。如果有更令他喜欢的人或事情出现，你会立刻被放鸽子。

35. You feel that love is neither near nor far from you because he comes to you and leaves you at will. He may just want to get something from you, perhaps money, perhaps care, or perhaps just to kill time. If something or someone else becomes more appealing to him, you will be ditched immediately.

36. ❶两边的界限感，是暗夜玫瑰的刺——你的每一次克制疏离，都在提醒他这株花并非触手可及。

36. ❶ The sense of boundaries on both sides is the thorns of the dark rose—the fact that you always maintain a sense of distance reminds him that this flower is not within reach.

37. 1你们之间每次吵架后，男生都不会停止联系你超过三天。这次你们吵得很凶，但是还是没有联系上你。当你主动联系他的时候，突然发现他已经把你完全拉黑了，你联系不上他了。那足以证明你们两个的关系现在已经彻底结束了，他也想彻底忘记你。

37. 1 After every argument between you two, the boy never stops contacting you for more than three days. This time, you had a fierce argument, but you still couldn't reach out to him. When you initiated contact with him, you suddenly found out that he had completely blocked you, and you couldn't reach him anymore. That is enough to prove that your relationship has now come to a complete end, and he wants to completely forget about you.

38. 2男生多久不联系就是你们关系的终点。其实跟你们两个生前的感情有很大关系。如果你们两个刚在一起，对彼此的性格不太了解，你们两个超过一周不联系，就足以证明你们的关系已经走到尽头了。如果你们两个在一起久了，我相信你们更了解对方。这时候如果你说对方已经在一起半个多月了。

38. 2 boys not contacting each other for how long is the end of your relationship. In fact, it has a lot to do with the emotions you two had before. If you two just started dating and aren't very familiar with each other's personalities, if you haven't been in contact for more than a week, that's enough to prove that your relationship has reached its end. If you two have been together for a while, I believe you understand each other better. At this point, if you say that the other person has been in a relationship for over half a month...

39. 如果一个男人不主动联系你，你为什么要联系他？一般男人玩游戏是不会在意女人感受的。女人给男人打电话或者发短信，他总是拒绝接听或者不予理睬。这个时候，女人不应该把热脸贴在冷屁股上，因为他根本不在乎你。所以，女人要学会不联系他。有一天，你不再主动给他打电话，他会很难受，这样他自然会主动联系你，更加关心你。如果真的在一起，就是平等的。

39. If a man doesn't reach out to you first, why should you contact him? Generally, men who play games are not concerned about a woman's feelings. When a woman calls a man or sends him a text message, he often refuses to answer or ignores it. At this time, the woman should not put her warm face against a cold bottom, as he is not interested in you at all. Therefore, women should learn not to contact him. One day, if you stop calling him proactively, it will be difficult for him, and he will naturally reach out to you and show more concern for you. If you are truly together, it should be equal.

40. 有时候男人就是这样。他们在一起的时候，不一定会对你表现出太多的关心，但是一旦他们断开一段时间，当你不再主动给他打电话或者回复他的信息，那么男人就会感到害怕。如果他真的喜欢你，在和你分手的这段时间里，他可能会偏执的认为你会和他分手。其实这种贪便宜的心理，每个恋爱中的人都有。越是热情积极的人，越不被珍惜。相反，当你冷落他的时候，他会突然后悔。

40. Sometimes men are like that. When they are together, they may not necessarily show you too much concern, but once they are apart for a while, if you stop calling him or replying to his messages, then men may feel scared. If he really likes you, during this period when you are separated, he may become obsessed with the thought that you might break up with him. In fact, this kind of cheap greed is something everyone in a relationship has. The more enthusiastic and active a person is, the less they are cherished. Conversely, when you ignore him, he may suddenly regret it.

41. 第二，如果他是喜欢你的，只是傻傻地不懂怎么去爱，你选择离开一下也未尝不可。有一种影视剧里常见的恋爱技巧，叫做欲擒故纵。离开一段时间，一个月、三个月、半年，让他试试没有你的滋味。

41. Secondly, if he likes you but is too naive to understand how to love, it's not a bad idea to take a break. There is a common love technique in TV and films called "luring by letting go." Take a break for a while, a month, three months, or half a year, and let him experience the taste of not having you.

42. 在不联系对方，不接他们电话的日子里，男人的心情其实是愤怒和焦虑的。他生气的点在于你对他的冷漠，而他焦虑的点在于他害怕你不再爱他，他已经转移到别人的怀抱了。其实男人也很吃醋，很容易患得患失。当他的情感开关打开时，男性的嫉妒和焦虑可能比女性更剧烈。

42. On the days when he doesn't contact you or answer their calls, a man's feelings are actually anger and anxiety. He is angry because of your indifference towards him, and he is anxious because he fears that you no longer love him, and that he has already been replaced by someone else. In fact, men are also very envious and prone to be anxious about losing something. When his emotional switch is turned on, a man's jealousy and anxiety may be more intense than that of a woman.

43. 如果他爱你，分离只会激发他更深的爱意，他会越来越放不下你，去找你表露心迹；如果他对你的离开无动于衷，或只是勉勉强强挽留，那你离开便是对了，因为他并不在乎你。

43. If he loves you, separation will only ignite his deeper love, and he will grow more and more unable to let you go, seeking you out to express his feelings; if he is indifferent to your departure or only reluctantly tries to keep you, then your leaving is the right decision, because he doesn't care about you.

44. 当两个原本相爱的人分手了，当对方对你还有感觉，还念念不忘你的时候，分手对他来说简直就是折磨和煎熬。失去你消息的那几天，他也会紧张，担心。他怕你已经把他甩在身后，彻底放下和他的感情。这样一来，他可能就真的和你没有任何关系了。

44. When two lovers who were once in love break up, when the other person still has feelings for you and is unable to forget you, the breakup is an absolute torment and煎熬 for him. During those days when he lost your news, he would also be anxious and worried. He fears that you have left him behind, completely letting go of his feelings for you. In this way, he might really have no connection with you anymore.

45. ❽当禁忌成为习惯的温床，就故意打翻这杯鸩酒。他会在满地狼藉中突然明白：有些依赖，戒断反应比拥有时更蚀骨。

45. When taboos become a breeding ground for habits, deliberately pour out this cup of poison. He will suddenly realize amidst the chaos: some dependencies, the withdrawal symptoms are more painful than having them.

46. 可想而知，分手后最开始的时候，他可能会觉得肆意和幸福，从此想要一个人主宰自己的生活，甚至对未来充满了各种美好的憧憬。但没过多久，我就渐渐厌倦了一个人的生活，开始在记忆中渐渐重温和她一起度过的温馨时光。虽然有过痛苦，有过欢乐，有过微笑，有过泪水，但我都大度地理解了对方，我的心和生活也和对方一样充实而充实我开始怀疑自己当初有意无意分手的决定。

46. It is understandable that at the very beginning after the breakup, he might feel carefree and happy, desiring to take control of his own life alone, and filled with various beautiful dreams for the future. But not long after, I began to tire of being alone, and started to slowly relive the warm moments we spent together in memory. Although there were moments of pain, joy, smiles, and tears, I generously understood the other person, and my heart and life were as full and fulfilling as theirs. I began to doubt the decision I made to end the relationship, whether it was intentional or not.

47. 每个人对感情的看法并不相同，可我并不认为有人会觉得爱情需要以一种偷偷摸摸的方式进行。成年人世界里的爱情，总需要一种方式让彼此宣示所有权。

47. Everyone has a different view on love, but I don't think anyone would believe that love needs to be conducted in a secretive manner. In the adult world, love always requires a way for both parties to claim ownership.