“闲得慌？那就来场云端狗大赛吧，狗狗们可不像你这么闲！”

"Feeling bored? Then join us for a Cloud Dog Contest, the dogs aren't as idle as you are!"

1. ❽别人：内卷；我：内躺，卷不动就平铺。

1. Others: Involution; Me: Involution躺，if you can't keep up, just lie flat.

2. ❿别人：努力奋斗；我：努力说服自己明天再努力。

2. Others: Strive hard; Me: Strive hard to convince myself to work harder tomorrow.

3. ❺别人焦虑未来，我焦虑中午吃啥，这才是真正的哲学问题。

3. While others worry about the future, I worry about what to eat for lunch; that's the real philosophical question.

4. ❷别人：搞钱、健身、自我提升；我：研究怎么躺着玩手机更舒服。

4. Others: Making money, exercising, self-improvement; Me: Researching how to make lying and playing with my phone more comfortable.

5. ❾我的时间管理：上午‘等下午’，下午‘等晚上’，晚上‘等明天’。

5. My time management: in the morning, "waiting for the afternoon"; in the afternoon, "waiting for the evening"; at night, "waiting for tomorrow."

6. ❻我的自律：说好再玩5分钟手机，结果玩了5小时。

6. My self-discipline: I promised to play with my phone for only 5 minutes, but ended up playing for 5 hours.

7. ❶每天起床第一件事，思考今天该怎么浪费。

7. ❶ The first thing to do when you wake up every day is to think about how to waste the day.

8. ❼世界上最遥远的距离，是床和厕所的距离。

8. The farthest distance in the world is the distance between the bed and the toilet.

9. ❹人生理想：做一条咸鱼，连翻身都懒得翻。

9. Life Ideal: To be a salty fish, too lazy to even turn over.

10. ❸我的运动量：手指刷短视频，眼皮眨巴眨巴。

10. (8) My level of exercise: fingers swiping through short videos, eyelids blinking away.