在职场这个大舞台上，每个人都是一位独特的演员。有时，我们需要穿上严肃的职业装，扮演着严谨的“角色”；而有时，又得脱下外壳，化身成一位幽默的喜剧人。这就是“职场搞笑段子大全”，在这里，我们将一起探索那些在忙碌的工作中，轻松一笑的瞬间。

In the big stage of the workplace, everyone is an unique actor. Sometimes, we need to put on serious professional attire and play the role of a strict "character"; and sometimes, we have to take off our shell and transform into a humorous comedian. This is the "Comedy Sketches Collection of the Workplace", where we will explore those moments of laughter in the midst of busy work together.

1. 我:嗯，他让我离开一个女人。

1. Me: Um, he asked me to leave a woman.

2. 没有，我只看到两个破轮胎。。女秘回答道。

2. No, I only saw two flat tires... the female secretary replied.

3. 高峰时间有如此多的人。今天，人们挤在公交车上上班。一个男人站在我身后，右手拿着扁担，左手拿着煎饼。我的女儿，煎饼一直在烧我的屁股。我再也受不了了。我不能藏起来。我一心要报仇后来，我默默放屁。后来看到那个男的吃的特别好吃，我就好受了

3. There are so many people during rush hour. Today, people are crammed into buses to go to work. A man stands behind me, holding a hoe in his right hand and a pancake in his left. My daughter, the pancake has been burning my buttocks. I can't take it anymore. I can't hide. I am determined to get revenge. Later, I silently farted. Later, I saw that the man was eating the pancake so deliciously, and I felt better.

4. 第二天老婆拿着单子去干洗店拿衣服，还特意提醒:是三颗星最上档次的裙子。

4. The next day, the wife went to the dry cleaning shop to pick up the clothes, and she specially reminded: it's a three-star, top-grade dress.

5. 同事:你要气死你女朋友了！

5. Colleague: You're going to make your girlfriend so angry!

6. 这说明我的衣服档次高，提醒工人要小心，不要损坏。丈夫说。

6. This shows that my clothes are of high quality; it reminds the workers to be careful and not to damage them. The husband said.

7. 一天，老王怒气冲冲地去找洗衣店老板。见到他后，他生气地说:来看看你的杰作吧！

7. One day, Old Wang went to the laundry shop boss in a rage. After seeing him, he said angrily, "Come and take a look at your masterpiece!"

8. 恭维是开给别人的空白支票，但对奉承者本人来说，却是实实在在的存款证明。

8. Compliments are blank checks issued to others, but for the flatterer themselves, they are tangible proof of actual deposits.

9. 另一个同事听到回答:是不是因为你还没付款，所以她不给你发货

9. Another colleague heard the answer: "Is it because you haven't paid yet that she won't ship the goods to you?"

10. 同事:你说什么？

10. Colleague: What did you say?

11. 服务员很快找到衣服，递给她，笑着说:我们在标签上贴三颗星，提醒工人衣服脏了，要洗几次

11. The waiter quickly found the clothes, handed them to her, and smiled: We put three stars on the label to remind the workers that the clothes are dirty and need to be washed several times.

12. 某公司附近有个精神病。如果有人从他身边经过，就会追着他问:不是吗？不是吗？是...有一天，公司的一个员工上班要迟到了，到了公司正好遇到那个神经病朝他走过来，怕他纠缠，说:

12. There's a mental patient near a certain company. If someone passes by him, he will chase after them and ask: "Isn't it so? Isn't it so? It's..." One day, an employee of the company was late for work and met that mental patient walking towards him. Afraid of being bothered, he said:

13. 礼貌对与错我们自己人准备好的程式化安全套，表面上是礼貌，实际上是拒人于千里之外。

13. Politeness, on the surface, is a form of prepared ritual we use to ensure safety, but in reality, it keeps people at a distance.

14. 我:我不走。

14. Me: I am not leaving.

15. 说完，他把一根粗绳子扔在桌子上。老板看了看说:先生，这根粗绳很好。

15. After saying that, he threw a thick rope onto the table. The boss looked at it and said: "Sir, this thick rope is very good."

16. 一天，一位穿着迷你裙的德·摩登小姐走进一家洗衣店，店里年轻的老板盯着她看。

16. One day, Miss De Moden, dressed in a mini-skirt, walked into a laundry shop, where the young owner stared at her.

17. 今天一个男同事和一个女同事在办公室吵架，两人互相吵了起来。

17. Today, a male colleague and a female colleague had a fight in the office, and they argued with each other.

18. 丈夫自豪地对妻子说:今天去干洗店洗衣服，服务员在衣服的标签上贴了三颗星！

18. The husband proudly told his wife: "Today, when I went to the laundry shop to wash clothes, the service staff put three stars on the label of the clothes!"

19. 会写不如跑腿，能干不如吹，会说不如发，守本分不如张扬，听话不如守纪律，灵活不如坚持原则。

19. It's better to run around than to write, to吹 than to be able, to say than to communicate, to be modest than to boast, to be obedient than to follow discipline, and to be flexible than to adhere to principles.

20. 门:仅查找门子，才会有出路。

20. Door: Only by seeking the door, there will be a way out.

21. 我:没有，我婆婆还没发货呢！

21. Me: No, my mother-in-law hasn't shipped it yet!

22. 以前清高的人视金钱如粪土。今天崇高没钱的人被视为粪土。

22. In the past, people of high moral standing regarded money as dirt. Today, those who are highly esteemed but lack money are seen as dirt.

23. 是的，是的，是的，我是...精神病回复SB

Yes, yes, yes, I am... a psychiatric reply to an SB.

24. 同事说:背着老婆跑800米，妈的，老婆有血有肉，老婆一肚子气。

24. A colleague said: "Running 800 meters with my wife on my back, damn it, my wife is made of flesh and blood, and she's full of anger."

25. 这时，小姐得意地向年轻的老板挥了挥手，说年轻人，做好你的工作！

25. At this moment, the miss proudly waved at the young boss, saying, "Young man, do your job well!"

26. 能够得到领导的私用，往往被认为是最大的重用，这也是为什么那么多人争着给领导当枪使，甘愿做领导的工具。

26. Being able to obtain the private use of a leader is often considered the greatest favor, which is why so many people compete to act as a pawn for the leader, willing to be a tool for the leader.

27. 年轻的老板一脸严肃地说:小姐，你的这条裙子在我们店里没有缩水。

27. The young boss said solemnly: "Madam, your dress did not shrink in our store."

28. 我很好奇:真的吗？赌什么？

28. I'm curious: really? Betting on what?

29. 在一次宴会上，一个老板的前门拉链被拉开了，他却不知道。他的女秘书发现有客人在场不方便直接说，提醒老板说老板，你的车库门开着。老板不解哦，你看见我的宝马了吗？

29. At a banquet, the front zipper of a boss's coat was pulled open, but he didn't notice. His female secretary, finding it awkward to say directly in the presence of guests, reminded the boss, "Boss, your garage door is open." The boss was puzzled, "Did you see my BMW?"

30. 我老婆不解:那是什么意思？

30. My wife was puzzled: What does that mean?

31. 我:你想让我把我妈气死吗，妈的！

31. Me: Do you want to make my mom so angry that she dies, damn it!

32. 女方无法和男方争辩，就拿起香水喷在男方身上。

32. Unable to argue with the male party, the female party picks up the perfume and sprays it on the male party.

33. 老王吼道:我送去洗的是床单。

33. Old Wang roared, "I sent the bedsheet to be washed."

34. 感激之情其实用爱没多大关系。更多的时候，是一种利益交换的支出。

34. Gratitude is actually not very related to love. More often than not, it is an expenditure in exchange for benefits.

35. 说到:该死的，我不能和你争论，让你的妻子让你走！

35. Said: Dammit, I can't argue with you, let your wife send you away!

36. 权力是一种很好的化妆品，生活的面貌随着权力的起伏而发生巨大的变化。

36. Power is a great cosmetic, and the face of life undergoes tremendous changes with the rise and fall of power.

37. 一个女同事问我！你谈到你的女朋友了吗？

37. A female colleague asked me, "Have you mentioned your girlfriend?"

38. 面具是非常暴露的脸，脸是非常隐蔽的面具。

38. Masks are the most exposed face, and the face is the most concealed mask.

39. 那个白痴同事在工作中垂头丧气。我关切地问:你怎么了？

39. That idiot colleague was looking down in the dumps at work. I asked with concern, "What's wrong with you?"

40. 同事感叹道:别说了。昨天和人打赌，输了一个中国人。

40. A colleague exclaimed: Don't say any more. I lost a bet with someone yesterday and lost a Chinese person.

41. 同事:和女朋友吵架了？

41. Colleague: Had a fight with your girlfriend?

42. 当有人大谈你的时候。原则上怎么办，他其实是在暗示你原则下怎么办。

42. When someone talks a lot about you, in principle, what they are really doing is hinting at what you should do according to principle.