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揭秘:令人捧腹的高级幽默,笑翻天!

面书号 2025-01-16 15:32 8


在幽深的岁月长河中,一幅“高级幽默死人脸图”悄然流传。这不仅仅是一张普通的图片,它背后蕴含着无尽的智慧与趣味,让人在会心一笑中领略生命的真谛。

In the deep and long river of time, a "superiorly humorous deadpan face" image has quietly spread. This is not just an ordinary picture; it contains endless wisdom and humor, allowing people to understand the essence of life with a smile that speaks volumes.

1. 6都说要等瓜熟蒂落,我真的渴望能够早一点卸货!真的受不了这炎热的夏天!太热了!

1. Everyone keeps saying to wait for the "melon to mature and the vine to drop," but I really can't wait to have the baby sooner! I can't stand this hot summer! It's too hot!

2. 5如果我死了,请在每年这个时候给我烧一台空调

2.5 If I were to die, please burn an air conditioner for me every year at this time.

3. 23春日的思念,夏日的爱恋,秋日的祝福,冬日的祝愿。今生的遇见,幸福每一天;今生的相恋,爱你到永远;今生的誓言不改变,愿我们的感情永流传。

3. The yearning of spring, the love of summer, the blessings of autumn, and the wishes of winter. Meeting in this life, happiness every day; loving you forever in this life; the promise of this life remains unchanged, may our feelings last forever.

4. 32一个小确幸:天气好热,今日喝了一丢丢冰可乐,好幸福。

4. A Little Joy: It's so hot today, and I had a sip of ice-cold cola, feeling really happy.

5. 31什么?今天不是最热?我都快热化了好吗!

5. 31 What? Isn't today the hottest day? I'm almost melting, okay!

6. 当电风扇变成了电吹风,我觉得人生都失去了意义

6. When the electric fan turned into an electric hair dryer, I felt that life lost its meaning.

7. 37什么?今天不是最热?我都快热化了好吗!

7. What? Isn't today the hottest? I'm almost melting, okay!

8. 11将快乐打包装进你的行囊,让你时时充分享受;将幸福锁定写入你的心灵,让你分分感悟美好;将祝愿折叠塞入你的手中,让你时时掌握命运的光彩;朋友,祝你的人生光环四射,精彩无限! 天气转变,注意身体!

8.11 Pack joy into your luggage, so that you can fully enjoy it at all times; lock happiness into your heart, so that you can savor the beauty in every moment; fold blessings and stuff them into your hands, so that you can always grasp the brilliance of fate; friend, may your life shine with radiance and be full of wonder! With the change in weather, take care of your health!

9. 想吃个凉菜你都得趁凉吃,要不一会儿就热了!

9. You have to eat the cold dish while it's still cold; otherwise, it will get warm in no time!

10. 20当我将硬币投进愿望池,一个可爱的精灵问我要许什么愿望,我对他说:请帮我好好照顾这个看信息的人,永远别郁闷,要永远开心,幸福!天热,注重身体!

10. 20 When I tossed the coin into the wishing well, a cute fairy asked me what wish to make, and I told her: Please take good care of this person who is reading the information, never be melancholic, and always be happy, blessed! It's hot, take care of your health!

11. 空中没有一片云,没有一点风,头顶上一轮烈日,所有的树木都无精打采地、懒洋洋地站在那里。

11. The sky was cloudless, the air still, a blazing sun hanging overhead, and all the trees stood there listlessly, lazily.

12. 天气热得受不了。在仙人掌的阴影下也有华氏度。

12. The weather is intolerably hot. Even in the shade of a cactus, the temperature is in the 90s Fahrenheit.

13. 火辣辣的太阳虽然还未直照,但路旁的沙土已现出胆怯的光亮。小草也像经受不住太阳的炙烤,慢慢地垂下了叶子。只有池塘里的鱼儿不怕热,在依岸旁树的水中自由自在地游着。

13. The scorching sun has not yet directly shone, but the sand and soil by the roadside have already shown a timid brightness. The little grass also seems to be unable to bear the sun's scorching, and its leaves slowly droop. Only the fish in the pond are not afraid of the heat, swimming freely in the water by the trees along the shore.

14. 7江浙沪的朋友们,个月前你们苦苦要求的集中供暖最终实现了!

14. 7 Friends from Jiangsu, Zhejiang, and Shanghai, your long-sought centralized heating has finally been realized, a month ago!

15. 3夏天的天气是炎热的。太阳尽情的把热洒向大地;风也懒得吹了;如果下起小雨来,小朋友就会在小雨中奔跑,洗一个痛快的凉水澡。

15. In summer, the weather is hot. The sun pours its heat generously onto the earth; the wind grows lazy and stops blowing; if a light rain falls, children will run around in the rain, taking a refreshing bath in cool water.

16. 太热了我都被晒黑了我天天在家不出去变白了液!太好了,我们终于能生一个混血儿了

16. Too hot, I've been sunburned and I've turned black! I stay home every day and don't go out to get white! That's great, we can finally have a biracial child!

17. 5夏天,太阳炙烤着大地,路旁的荒草丛几乎要燃烧起来,空气中弥漫的热浪,让人喘不过气来。没有一丝风,河岸边的柳树垂下了头,路旁的美人蕉几乎都要枯萎了,唯独那可爱的三色花,挺立着自己细细的腰枝,开着鲜艳的花朵,真是早开的红梅一枝独秀呀!

17.5 In the summer, the sun scorching the earth, the roadside wild grass was almost ready to catch fire, and the hot waves in the air were suffocating. There was not a single breeze, and the willows by the riverbank hung their heads. The canna by the road was almost withering away, but the lovely tricolor flowers stood up with their slender stems, blooming in bright colors, truly like an early-blooming plum blossom shining alone!

18. 57夏季防中暑,饮食有六多:多吃粥食欲渐长,多喝汤补充水分,多喝温茶降体温,多吃青菜不油腻,多吃瓜果可止渴,多吃苦瓜立清热愿你身体健康!

18. In summer, to prevent heatstroke, there are six tips for diet: eat more congee to increase appetite, drink more soup to replenish fluids, drink more warm tea to lower body temperature, eat more green vegetables to avoid greasiness, eat more melons and fruits to quench thirst, and eat more bitter melon to cool the body. Wishing you good health!

19. 这个天气约你出去吃饭的,一定是生死之交,谈的肯定都是终身大事!

19. The one who invites you out for dinner in this weather must be a lifelong friend, and they are definitely discussing life-and-death matters!

20. 42七月盛夏,夏婆婆又开始炫耀她的手下 太阳公公的厉害。太阳公公接到夏婆婆的命令,以最高的温度炙烤着大地,天热得发了狂,地烤得发烫、直冒烟,像着了火似的,马上要和巧克力一样融化掉。公路上的人寥寥无几,只有汽车在来回穿梭奔跑着。瓦蓝瓦蓝的天空没有一丝云彩,一些似云非云、似雾非雾的灰气,低低地浮在空中,使人觉得憋气不舒服。外面的花草树木被热得打不起精神来,耷拉着脑袋。

20. In the height of July summer, Grandmother Summer began to boast about the power of her servant, the Sun God. The Sun God, upon receiving Grandmother Summer's command, baked the earth with the highest temperature, the heat was frenzied, the ground was hot, smoking, as if on fire, about to melt away like chocolate. On the highway, there were very few people, only cars zooming back and forth. The azure sky was cloudless, with some gray mists that were neither clouds nor fog, floating low in the air, making people feel suffocated and uncomfortable. The outside plants and trees were so overheated that they couldn't gather any spirit, hanging their heads listlessly.

21. 妈妈说:我叛逆期怎么整她,她更年期就怎么整我。

21. Mom said: How I treated her during my rebellious period is how she treated me during her menopausal years.

22. 课间休息,闲来无事,就和同桌女生讨论起以后结婚的事情。出于好心,我就提醒她:“以后结婚的时候伴娘一定要找1个比自己丑的,不然会被强了风头!”只见同桌妹纸点点头,极认真的在教室环视一星期后说道:“我可以找你,那你找谁呢……”

22. During the break between classes, with nothing to do, I started discussing future marriage plans with the girl sitting next to me. Out of kindness, I reminded her, "When you get married in the future, make sure to choose a bridesmaid who is not as beautiful as you, otherwise you'll be overshadowed by the spotlight!" The girl sitting next to me nodded, looking around the classroom with great seriousness for a week and said, "I can choose you, but who will you choose?"

23. 太阳像个老大老大的火球,光线灼人,公路被烈日烤得发烫,脚踏下去一步一串白烟。

23. The sun appeared as a massive fireball, its rays scorching, the highway baked by the fierce sun into a searing heat, with each step of the foot leaving a trail of white smoke.

24. 56夏天来得那么的急,没几天人们便深刻的体会到什么叫酷热难耐了。大街上的柏油路在太阳的炙烤下变的软软的仿佛踩在橡皮泥上;街边的梧桐树像一把巨大的遮阳伞,给伞(心情很烦的说说大全)的市民带来一丝可怜的阴凉时,自己也泛着耀眼的绿光;整个城市如同一个巨大的蒸锅,城市里的人们便在蒸锅里哗啦啦的淌着汗,觉得自己随时就要熟了。

24. In the 56th summer, it arrived so abruptly that within a few days, people deeply felt what it meant to be tormented by the intense heat. The asphalt on the streets, under the scorching sun, became soft, as if walking on rubber clay; the poplar trees on the streets served as gigantic sunshades, bringing a bit of pitiful shade to the citizens who were fuming with frustration, while themselves shining with a dazzling green light; the entire city seemed like a huge steamer, and the people in the city were dripping with sweat like a whirl in the steamer, feeling as if they were about to be cooked at any moment.

25. 药药切克闹 我说开学 你说草。

25. Drug drug cheeky laugh, I say school starting, you say grass.

26. 2江浙沪的朋友们,8个月前你们苦苦要求的集中供暖终于实现了!

26. Friends in Jiangsu, Zhejiang, and Shanghai, the centralized heating system you have been desperately requesting for the past 8 months has finally been realized!

27. 17你是金子我是煤,你会发光我会发热。别把我惹火了,小心我把你融化了。

27. You are gold and I am coal, you will shine and I will heat up. Don't anger me, or be careful I might melt you.

28. 盛夏的阳光真像蘸了辣椒水,坦荡荡的街上没有一块阴凉地。

28. The summer sun is so scorching, it feels like it's drenched in chili water. There's not a single shade on the open street.

29. 天气闷热得要命,一丝风也没有,稠乎乎的空气好像凝住了。

29. The weather was unbearably muggy, not a single breeze, the thick air seemed to have solidified.

30. 从前有个小孩在重庆上学,上着上着他就热死了

30. There was once a child studying in Chongqing, and while studying, he got too hot and died.

31. 29天气太热啦,昨天买了筐鸡蛋,到家变小鸡了;买了个凉席,一睡变成电热毯了;汽车不用点火自己发动了。

31. It was too hot yesterday, and the basket of eggs I bought turned into chicks by the time I got home; I bought a cooling mat, and it turned into an electric heating blanket when I slept on it; my car started without me needing to ignite it.

32. 23有两个陌生人来到北京,然后,然后他俩熟了。

32. Two strangers came to Beijing, and then, then they got to know each other well.

33. 都说要等瓜熟蒂落,我真的渴望能够早一点卸货!真的受不了这炎热的夏天!太热了!

33. They all say to wait for the fruit to ripen naturally, but I really long to deliver the baby a bit sooner! I can't take this hot summer anymore! It's too hot!

34. 8到了中午,天更热了,人们都躲在家里不出来,开着电风扇,吹着空调。狗狗们都躲在树荫下避暑,使出了自己的独家绝招 用舌头散热,它们像哮喘病人一样,不停地喘着粗气。家里的自来水都冒着热气、热乎乎的,小鸟不知躲到什么地方去了;草木都垂头丧气,像奄奄等毙;只有那知了,在枝头发出破碎的高叫;真像破锣碎鼓在替烈日呐喊助威!

34. By noon, the heat had intensified, and people stayed indoors, turning on fans and air conditioning. Dogs sought shade under trees to escape the heat, using their unique method of cooling down by licking their tongues, and they panted heavily, much like asthmatic patients. The tap water at home was steaming hot, and the birds had presumably hidden somewhere; the plants and trees drooped dejectedly, as if waiting for their end. Only the cicadas, on the branches, emitted shattered cries; it was as if broken drums and cymbals were cheering for the scorching sun!

35. 天热别忘喝粥,伏天不会难受;绿豆粥除烦止渴,莲子粥怡心清火;赤豆大枣活血补气,香蕉粥清热解毒;粥类不适合过咸,轻松喝过夏天。

35. Don't forget to drink congee when it's hot; you won't feel uncomfortable during the dog days. Mung bean congee relieves烦躁 and quenches thirst, lotus seed congee soothes the mind and clears heat; red bean and jujube congee nourishes the blood and boosts energy, banana congee cools the body and detoxifies; congee is not suitable for being too salty, so enjoy it comfortably through the summer.

36. 夏天到了。有对象的赖着对象。没对象的咱待空调房。

36. Summer is here. Those with partners cling to their partners. Those without partners, we'll be staying in the air-conditioned room.

37. 春天随着落花走了,夏天披着一身的绿叶儿在暖风里蹦跳着走来了

37. Spring followed by the falling blossoms went away, while summer, dressed in a full attire of green leaves, hopped along in the warm breeze.

38. 一妹纸,刚毕业参加工作,一天跟男同事一起吃饭,男同事们问起她的情史。妹纸摇摇头说:“都是极品。”男同事们:怎么了。妹纸:“都太短了”同事们瞬间喷饭妹纸解释道:“尼玛啊,我是说时间太短!”再次喷饭妹纸:我是说谈的时间很短就分了啊!

38. A young woman, fresh out of college and starting her career, was having dinner with male colleagues one day. The male colleagues asked about her dating history. The woman shook her head and said, "All of them were the best." The male colleagues: What's that about? The woman: They were all too short. The colleagues burst into laughter. The woman explained, "Oh my god, I meant the time was too short!" They laughed even harder. The woman: I mean, we started dating and then broke up shortly after!

39. 地上的土块被晒得滚烫滚烫的,几只黑褐色的大肚蟋蟀,安着弹簧似的蹦来蹦去。

39. The soil lumps on the ground were scorching hot, with several black-brown, large-bellied crickets jumping around as if on springs.

40. 闯红灯一般有两种后果,要么比别人快一分钟,要么比别人快一辈子。

40. Running a red light generally has two consequences: either you're a minute faster than others, or you're a lifetime faster.

41. 有人说落后就要挨打。还有人说,射鸟,说明一个人总能找到打你的理由。

41. Some say that if you are behind, you will be beaten. Others say that shooting birds shows that a person can always find an excuse to hit you.

42. 夏天,草木特别茂盛,冬青树的叶子油亮油亮的,老榆树枝繁叶茂,给人们撑起了一片浓浓的绿阴。

42. In summer, the vegetation is particularly lush, with holly leaves shining with oiliness and the old elm trees full of branches and leaves, casting a thick shade over the people.

43. 现在街上的骗子特别多,大家以后出门要小心,今天上街有个人一直说热死了、热死了,我跟了三条街他还没死。

43. There are a lot of swindlers on the streets now. Everyone should be careful when going out in the future. Today, there was a person on the street who kept saying he was dying of heat, dying of heat. I followed him for three streets and he still wasn't dead.

44. 43酷暑年年有,执扇问青天,为何今年夏季,高温到这般?防中暑,多休闲,心依然。人有悲欢离合,天有冷热四季,此事古难全。但愿好朋友,康乐岁月甜!

44. 43 The severe heat is a yearly affair, holding a fan to inquire the sky, why this summer, the temperature has reached such heights? Preventing heatstroke, enjoying more leisure, the heart remains unchanged. People have their sorrows and joys, separations and reunions, and the heavens have their cold and hot seasons, this is something that is difficult to perfect in ancient times. May our good friends have sweet years of health and happiness!

45. 有一个口吃的朋友是一种怎样的体验?大神回答:我们描述他说话的时候用的是2G信号!

45. What is it like to have a friend who stutters? A master replied: We describe him speaking as if using a 2G signal!

46. 12你现在怎么样,我已经成功变成珍珠(蒸猪)了。

46. 12 How are you now? I have successfully transformed into a pearl (steamed pork).

47. 9有一个留学生说:“怎么还不放假呀,西安太热了,我想回非洲”

47.9 A foreign student said, "Why hasn't the holiday started yet? Xi'an is too hot, I want to go back to Africa."

48. 单身的悲剧就是一个人吃酸辣粉不小心弄到眼睛里,不敢走开去洗。他怕服务员关门,只能含着眼泪吃完。

48. The tragedy of being single is that a person accidentally gets spicy and sour powder in their eyes while eating, but they dare not leave to wash it off. They are afraid the restaurant will close, so they have to finish eating with tears in their eyes.

49. [ 他死在我的梦里我的心里我的歌声里 - ]

49. [He died in my dreams, in my heart, in my songs -]

50. 天气热得受不了--在仙人掌的阴影下也有华氏125度。

50. The weather is too hot to bear -- it's 125 degrees Fahrenheit even in the shade of a cactus.

51. 44日子久了,会加重友情的砝码;时间长了,会发酵情谊的美酒;距离远了,会加剧心中的想念;问候到了,会温暖朋友的心房。朋友,无论何时何地,都愿你心情好好,快乐无忧!日子惬意,幸福无恙!天气转变,注意身体!

51. After 44 days, it will weigh heavier on the scales of friendship; as time goes on, it will ferment the wine of affection; with distance, it will intensify the longing in one's heart; with a greeting, it will warm the heart of a friend. Friend, at all times and in all places, I wish you to be in good spirits, carefree and happy! Enjoy the pleasant days, and may happiness be without harm! With the change of weather, take care of your health!

52. 39躺在床上是红烧,加了席子是铁板烧,下床后是清蒸,出门去是烧烤,到游泳馆被水煮,回来路上被生煎,回到家里还要回锅!

52. 39: Lying in bed is braised pork belly, adding a mat is iron plate barbecue; after getting out of bed, it's steamed; going out is grilled; at the swimming pool, it's boiled; on the way back, it's pan-fried; and when you get home, you need to be stir-fried again!

53. 脾气不好,学习不好,身材不好,长相不好,唯一值得骄傲的就是胃口好,消化好,吃的好吃,身材胖。

53. Bad temper, poor academic performance, unattractive physique, unappealing appearance, the only thing to be proud of is a good appetite, good digestion, enjoying delicious food, and a chubby figure.