Certainly, please provide the text you would like translated into English.

1. 如果没有梦想，和咸鱼有什么区别？

1. If there are no dreams, what's the difference between you and a pickled fish?

2. 你真幽默。我没有到处宣传你脸上有屎。

2. You are so humorous. I didn't go around advertising that you have feces on your face.

3. 接下来玉树临风比潘安，还有周，梨花压海棠的小妓女。

3. Next, there's the young beauty Yu Shu, who is as graceful as Pan An, along with Zhou, and the young prostitute with her fair skin that seems to press down on the peony blossoms.

4. 菩提：是啊，你昏倒的时候叫了晶晶这个名字叫了九十八次。

4. Bodhi: Yes, when you fainted, you called the name Jingjing ninety-eight times.

5. 腰间挎着一只死老鼠，假装在打猎。

5. Carrying a dead mouse around his waist, pretending to be hunting.

6. 就算是一张卫生纸，一条内裤都有自己的用处。

6. Even a roll of toilet paper and a pair of underwear have their own uses.

7. 人家郎才女貌，天生一对，轮到你这妖怪来反对

7. They are a perfect match, with the man handsome and the woman beautiful, naturally suited to each other. What right do you, as a monster, have to object?

8. 神仙也好，妖怪也罢。我的剑只有我和我的心上人才能拔出，就算他是妖怪，我也会毫不犹豫一世跟着他，如果不能跟自己喜欢的人在一起，就算让我当玉皇大帝我也不不干，只羡鸳鸯不羡仙，消失就消失!

8. Whether they are immortals or monsters, my sword can only be pulled out by me and my beloved. Even if he is a monster, I would follow him for a lifetime without hesitation. If I can't be with the person I love, I would not even want to be the Jade Emperor; I would rather羡慕 those鸳鸯 than羡慕 immortals. If I have to disappear, then so be it!

9. 你可以说我是跑龙套的，但你不能说我是臭跑龙套是啊！

9. You can say I'm a walk-on, but you can't say I'm a stinking walk-on, yes!

10. 戴上紧箍我就无法爱你，放下紧箍我就无法救你。

10. If I put on the tight箍, I cannot love you; if I take off the tight箍, I cannot save you.

11. 紫霞仙子：我知道有一天他会在一个万众瞩目的情况下出现，身披金甲圣衣，脚踏七色的云彩来娶我。

11. Zixia Immortal: I know that one day he will appear in a situation that is the focus of everyone's attention, clad in a golden armor and stepping on a seven-colored cloud, to marry me.

12. 贫僧是少林寺方丈，法名梦遗。阿弥陀佛，我随风而来又随风而去。...

12. The humble monk is the abbot of the Shaolin Temple, known by the Dharma name Meng Yi. Ah, Buddha, I come with the wind and I go with the wind...

13. 我说的是我孩子的事情。国家这种小事我改天再说！

13. I am talking about my child's matter. I will talk about this trivial matter of the country some other day!

14. 你为什么把我当成猪？你一见到我就让我睡觉。

14. Why do you treat me like a pig? As soon as you see me, you make me sleep.

15. 大哥你别闹了，看看你那么干净，进去化个装再来吧。你看看我，烂命一条，满手烂疮，你怎么惨得过我啊。

15. Big brother, stop making a ruckus. Look at how clean you are; put on some makeup and come in later. Look at me, just a poor soul with all these sores on my hands. How can you be worse off than me?

16. 你赶快回火星，地球很危险！

16. Hurry up and return to Mars, Earth is dangerous!

17. 菩提：还有一个名字叫紫霞的你叫了七百八十四次!

17. Bodhi: You have called the name "Purple Mist" seven hundred and eighty-four times!

18. 你说真的吗？！我说的不能破！还不错！我是美貌与智慧并重的唐伯虎，是英雄和侠义的化身！

18. Are you serious?! What I said cannot be broken! Not bad! I am Tang Bohu, who values both beauty and wisdom, the embodiment of heroism and chivalry!

19. 现在我郑重宣布，这座山上所有的东西都是我的，包括你。

19. Now I solemnly declare that everything on this mountain is mine, including you.

20. 以后你就是我的人了，和我的驴一样，给你盖个章。

20. From now on, you're mine, like my donkey. Let me stamp you.

21. 能不能专业一点！

21. Can't you be more professional!

22. 所以说做妖就像做人一样,要有仁慈的心,有了仁慈的心,就不再是妖,是人妖

22. So, to be a demon is like being a human: one must have a compassionate heart. With a compassionate heart, one is no longer a demon but a demon-human.

23. 上天既然安排他能拔出我的紫青宝剑，他一定是个不平凡的人，错不了!我知道有一天他会在一个万众瞩目的情况下出现，身披金甲圣衣，脚踏七色云彩来娶我!

23. Since heaven arranged for him to draw out my Purple and Blue Treasure Sword, he must be an extraordinary person, there's no doubt about it! I know that one day he will appear in a situation that is the focus of the whole world, dressed in a golden armor and walking on seven-colored clouds to marry me!

24. 大家不要紧张，我本身呢，是一个汽车维修员。这个扳子呢，是我用来上螺丝用的，很合理吧。正如我刚才所说，我身为一个汽车维修员，有个锤子在身边，也很合逻辑。

24. Don't worry everyone, I myself am a car mechanic. This wrench here is what I use to tighten screws, isn't that reasonable? As I mentioned just now, as a car mechanic, having a hammer on hand also makes sense.

25. 老婆，牛王默，别吵了，出来见上帝吧！

25. Honey, Niu Wang Mo, stop making a fuss, come out and meet God!

26. 哇，耶，耶~ ~好！实话告诉你，我叫玉树，潘安，周，梨花压海棠的妓女！

26. Wow, Hallelujah, Hallelujah!~ ~ Great! To tell you the truth, my name is Yushu, Pan'an, Zhou, and the prostitute who crushes peaches under the pear blossoms!

27. 这么年轻就达到了人生的最高境界，然后除了结束自己的生命，我别无选择！

27. Having reached the peak of life at such a young age, then, there is nothing left for me but to end my own life!

28. 我的意中人是个盖世英雄，有一天他会踩着七色云彩来接我，我猜中了前头可我猜不着这结局。

28. My destined love is a world-renowned hero, and one day he will come to pick me up riding on a seven-colored cloud. I guessed the beginning, but I couldn't guess this ending.

29. 喜欢一个人需要理由吗？需要吗？你不需要吗？需要吗？

29. Do you need a reason to like someone? Do you need one? Don't you need one? Do you need one?

30. 我一秒钟玩几十万个。我会和你一起踢足球吗？

30. I play for tens of thousands of seconds. Would you like to play soccer with me?

31. 你那忧郁的眼神，唏嘘的胡渣子，神呼奇迹的刀法，还有那杯晶莹透亮的马蒂尼，都掩饰不住你的出众。

31. Your melancholic gaze, the sorrowful stubble, the miraculous swordsmanship, and that crystal-clear, radiant martini—all cannot conceal your exceptional nature.

32. 聊得很投缘。让我们支付医药费。

32. We hit it off really well. Let's pay for the medical expenses.

33. 当帅哥很痛苦，你们这些奇形怪状的人不会懂的。

33. When the handsome guy is in pain, you people with odd shapes won't understand.

34. 别以为你长得帅我就不打你。

34. Don't think that just because you're handsome I won't hit you.

35. 那又怎样？是杂碎面。几块屎算什么？二十三美元五十美分。

35. So what? It's chow mein. What's a few pieces of shit? Twenty-three dollars and fifty cents.

36. 这种长相，是不是叫神雕侠侣杨过，小龙女？

36. Isn't this look reminiscent of the character Yang Guo from the novel "The Return of the Condor Heroes," along with Xiao Long Nu?

37. 我没力气打人，还说是* * *？

37. I don't have the strength to hit people, yet I'm accused of ***?

38. 鸡也爱国！

38. Chickens also love their country!

39. 大哥，你只是个强盗，不要学别人！

39. Older brother, you're just a robber, don't imitate others!

40. 说实话，我觉得你从头到脚都不是乞丐！

40. To be honest, I think you're not a beggar from head to toe!

41. 不开心，哪怕活一辈子都没用，开心，哪怕只能活几天！

41. Being unhappy is useless even if you live a lifetime, but being happy is worth it even if you can only live for a few days!

42. 你知道我一直在骗你吗？只是撒谎，就像飞蛾扑火一样，明知道会受伤，还是会扑到火上飞蛾太笨了！

42. Did you know that I have been lying to you all along? It's just like a moth flying into a flame, knowing it will get hurt, but still flying towards the fire. Moths are too foolish!

43. “别怪师傅嘀咕;戴上金箍儿，别怕死别颤抖;背黑锅我来，送死你去，拼全力为众生!牺牲也值得。”

43. "Don't blame the master for his grumbling; wear the golden箍, don't fear death or tremble; I'll take the blame, and you go to your death, fighting with all your might for all sentient beings! Sacrifice is worth it."

44. 做妖就像做人一样，要有仁慈的心，有了仁慈的心，就不再是妖，是人妖。

44. To be a demon is like being a human: one must have a kind heart. With a kind heart, one is no longer a demon but a human-demon.

45. 根本没有食神，或者说每个人都是食神。

45. There is no such thing as a food god, or rather, everyone is a food god.

46. 一万年太长了。爱我，现在。

46. Ten thousand years is too long. Love me, now.

47. 不是我喜欢打架，而是很多人喜欢被我打！

47. It's not that I like to fight, but rather that many people like to be beaten by me!

48. 人是人他妈生的，妖是妖他妈生的，只要你有一颗善良的心就不再是妖，是人妖。

48. People are born from their mothers, monsters are born from their mothers. As long as you have a kind heart, you are no longer a monster, but a human monster.

49. 可惜快乐永远都是短暂的,换来的只是无穷无尽的痛苦和长叹。

49. Unfortunately, happiness is always fleeting, bringing only endless suffering and sighs.

50. 可我怎会爱上一个我讨厌的人呢请你给我一个理由好不好拜托!

50. But how could I fall in love with someone I dislike? Please give me a reason, okay? Please, I beg you!