在纷繁复杂的世界中，情绪如同波涛汹涌的江河，时而平静，时而汹涌。如何优雅地掌控情绪，实现自我善待的秘笈，便是本篇篇章要探寻的奥秘。

In a world filled with complexity and chaos, emotions are like turbulent rivers with waves, sometimes calm and sometimes fierce. The secret to elegantly mastering emotions and achieving self-kindness is the mystery that this article aims to uncover.

1. 爱那个爱你的人。如果只是你爱他，或者只是他爱你。趁早分开。女子不需要他人来假装疼爱，你也不需要假装疼爱某人。

1. Love the person who loves you. If it's only you who love him, or only he who loves you, it's best to separate early. A woman doesn't need someone to pretend to care for her, and you also don't need to pretend to care for someone else.

2. 事情看透，你就明白该如何进行；人情看透，你就明白该如何相处；事情看破，你就不想做事了；人情看破，你就不想做人了。所以，只要用点心，其余只是接受。要做到不去在意他人的言语很困难吧？嘴巴是别人的，人生是自己的。

2. Once you see through things, you will understand how to proceed; once you see through human nature, you will know how to get along with others; once you see through things, you won't want to do anything; once you see through human nature, you won't want to be a person. Therefore, as long as you put a bit of effort into it, the rest is just about accepting. Is it difficult to not care about others' words? The mouth is theirs, but life is yours.

3. 晚上早点回家，自己没有车，超过十点要打的士，或者让人来接。

3. Go home early in the evening. As I don't have a car, I need to take a taxi after 10 pm or have someone pick me up.

4. 12善待自己是一种自我释放自我调节自我塑造之行为方式，也是一种积极健康之生活态度。

4. Treating oneself kindly is a way of self-release, self-regulation, and self-shaping, and it is also a positive and healthy attitude towards life.

5. l）将不良情绪的能量发泄出去。比如当你发怒时，不如赶快跑到其它地方，或是用拳头锤击墙壁，或是找个体力活干一千，或是跑一圈，这样就能把因盛怒激发出来的能量释放出来，从而使心情平静下来，或者在你过度痛苦时，不妨大哭一场。笑，也是释放积聚能量，调整机体平衡的一种方式。

5. l) Release the energy of negative emotions. For example, when you are angry, it's better to run to another place quickly, or punch the wall with your fists, or do some physical labor, or run around a lap. This way, you can release the energy that was triggered by intense anger, which will help calm your mood down. Or, when you are extremely sad, it might be a good idea to have a good cry. Laughter is also a way to release accumulated energy and adjust the body's balance.

6. 14生命可贵，青春难再，成长不易，请善待你自己，善待每一天，让生命之树缀满香甜之果实，让成长之路上开满艳丽之鲜花！

6. Life is precious, youth is fleeting, and growth is not easy. Please be kind to yourself, cherish every day, and let the tree of life be adorned with sweet fruits, and let the path of growth be filled with beautiful flowers!

7. 19人生重要的不是你从哪里来，而是你到哪里去。当你在埋头工作的时侯,一定要抬头看看你去的方向。方向不对，努力白费!

7. The important thing in life is not where you come from, but where you are going. When you are busy working, always take a moment to look up and see the direction you are heading. If the direction is wrong, all your efforts will be in vain!

8. 34如果有人利用你的柔软攻击你，利用你的善良欺负你，利用你的宽容践踏你，请不要哭泣。你的柔软善良宽容是你值得拥有更好生活的资本，也是你立于这世界真实的支撑。人活着不是为了证明苦难，而是亲历过黑暗才配拥有光明。不要为不值得的人浪费你宝贵的泪水，要为爱你的人保留你最好的微笑。

8. 34 If someone attacks you by exploiting your gentleness, bullies you with your kindness, and tramples on you with your tolerance, please do not cry. Your gentleness, kindness, and tolerance are the capital that entitles you to a better life and the real support that allows you to stand in this world. People live not to prove suffering, but to be qualified to have brightness after experiencing darkness. Do not waste your precious tears on people who are not worthy of it; instead, reserve your best smile for those who love you.

9. 学会善待自己，需要我们平淡地看待虚浮的名利，理智的去掉莫名的烦恼，巧妙的解除心灵的羁绊。

9. To learn to be kind to ourselves, we need to view the fleeting fame and fortune calmly, rationally eliminate the unknown troubles, and cleverly release the mental shackles.

10. 不要为了任何人任何事折磨自己。比如不吃饭哭泣自闭抑郁，这些都是傻瓜才做的事。当然，偶尔傻一下有必要，人生不必时时聪明。

10. Do not torment yourself for anyone or anything. For example, not eating, crying, becoming reclusive, and depressed are things that only foolish people would do. Of course, it's necessary to be foolish once in a while, but life doesn't have to be smart all the time.

11. 意识控制 当愤愤不已的情绪即将爆发时，要用意识控制自己，提醒自己应当保持理性，还可进行自我暗示：“别发火，发火会伤身体”，有涵养的人一般能做到控制。

11. Conscious Control: When angry emotions are about to erupt, one should use conscious control over oneself, reminding oneself to maintain rationality. It is also advisable to engage in self-hypnosis: "Don't get angry, getting angry will harm your body." Cultured individuals generally manage to control themselves.

12. 学会平衡，讨人喜欢：好女人会平衡各种人际关系。不一味追求不切实际的东西,不说三道四制造矛盾，量力而行，量体裁衣，知足者常乐。

12. Learn to balance and be pleasing: A good woman knows how to balance various interpersonal relationships. She does not blindly pursue the unattainable, does not speak ill of others to create conflicts, acts within her means, tailors her actions to fit the situation, and finds joy in contentment.

13. 反应得体 当遇不平之事时，任何正常人都会怒火中烧，但是无论遇到什么事，都应该心平气和，冷静地、不抱成见地让对方明白他的言行之所借，而不应该迅速地做出不恰当的回击。从而剥夺了对方承认错误的机会。

13. React Appropriately: When encountering unfair situations, any normal person would be filled with anger. However, no matter what happens, one should remain calm and composed, cool-headed, and unbiased, making the other person understand the reason behind their words and actions, rather than quickly responding inappropriately, which would deprive the other person of the opportunity to admit their mistakes.

14. 偶尔做美女私房菜给他或者老友吃。但不要天天做，你生来不是为了某个人天天下厨房。

14. Occasionally prepare some private gourmet dishes for him or your old friends to enjoy. But don't do it every day; you weren't born to cook in the kitchen for someone every day.

15. 无论你多么不幸，多么痛苦，多么失落，如果负能量满满，骂骂咧咧，怨气深重，只会让人避而远之。

15. No matter how unfortunate, how painful, or how lost you may be, if you are filled with negative energy, complaining, and harboring deep resentment, it will only make people want to stay away from you.

16. 不要和男人动手。第一，你动不过他；第二，和你动手的男人一定是个疯子。所以，不如不动。

16. Don't resort to physical violence with men. First, you won't be able to match him; second, a man who resorts to violence with you is definitely a疯子(crazy person). So, it's better not to engage in violence.

17. 26许多人想行云流水过此一生，却总是风波四起，劲浪不止。平和之人，纵是经历沧海桑田也会安然无恙。敏感之人，遭遇一点风声也会千疮百孔。命运给每个人同等的安排，而选择如何经营自己的生活、酿造自己的情感，则在于自己的心性。

17. 26 Many people wish to live their lives as smoothly as flowing water, but they are often beset by storms and relentless strong waves. Peaceful individuals, even after experiencing the vicissitudes of life, remain unscathed. Sensitive people, upon encountering a mere breeze, can be torn to shreds. Fate has the same arrangement for everyone, but the choice of how to manage one's life and brew one's emotions lies in one's own character.

18. 30曾经拥有的，不要忘记;已经得到的，更要珍惜;属于自己的，不要放弃;已经失去的，留着回忆;想要得到的，必须努力;但最重要的，是好好爱惜自己!

18. Never forget what you once had; cherish what you have already gained; hold on to what belongs to you; keep the memories of what you have lost; work hard to attain what you desire; but most importantly, take good care of yourself!

19. 升华术 即把受挫折的不良情绪引向崇高的境界。如著名文豪歌德在失恋后，把失恋的情绪能量升华到文学写作中，写出了名篇《少年维特之烦恼》。

19. Sublimation technique refers to channeling the negative emotions of frustration into a noble realm. For instance, the famous literary genius Goethe, after his failed love, transformed the emotional energy of his heartbreak into literary writing, and composed the famous work "The Sorrows of Young Werther."

20. 你觉得生活千难万苦，别人认为你太过矫情。你怒火冲天恨意满满，别人觉得你小肚鸡肠不能容物。你所有的消极情绪，完全没有人喜欢，包括你最亲的人。

20. You feel that life is full of hardships, while others think you are too sensitive. You are full of anger and resentment, but others perceive you as petty and unable to tolerate things. All of your negative emotions are disliked by absolutely everyone, including your closest loved ones.

21. 做不到的事情不要说，说了就努力做到。 （

21. Don't say things you can't do; if you say them, strive to do them.

22. 每一个人都拥有生命，但并非每个人都懂得生命，乃至于珍惜生命。不了解生命的人，生命对他来说，是一种惩罚。人生感悟

22. Everyone has life, but not everyone understands life, let alone cherish it. To those who do not understand life, it is a punishment. Life's insights

23. 28对自己好点就是要趁青春还在，好好享受美好时光;对自己好点的就是吃好睡好，天天开心不让悲伤难过压心;对自己好点就是你爱的人爱不爱你，你都要学会自爱，不管爱你的人是否真心，你要好好珍惜自己!

23. Treating yourself well means enjoying the good times while youth is still with you; treating yourself well is about eating well, sleeping well, and being happy every day, not allowing sadness and sorrow to weigh on your heart; treating yourself well is about whether the person you love loves you back, you should still learn to love yourself; no matter how sincerely the person who loves you, you should cherish yourself well!

24. 贾平凹说：“人既然如蚂蚁一样来到世上，忽生忽死，忽聚忽散，短短数十年里，该自在就自在吧，该潇洒就潇洒吧，各自完满自己的一段生命，这就是生存的全部意义。”

24. Jia Pingwa said, "Since people come into the world like ants, sometimes alive, sometimes dead, sometimes gathered, sometimes scattered, in the short span of just a few decades, why not live carefree and carefree as one should, and be casual as one should? To complete a segment of one's own life perfectly, this is the full meaning of existence."

25. 学会承受痛苦。有些话，适合烂在心里，有些痛苦，适合无声无息的忘记。当经历过，你成长了，自己知道就好。很多改变，不需要你自己说，别人会看得到。

25. Learn to endure pain. Some things are meant to be kept deep within your heart, and some pain is best forgotten silently. Once you've experienced it, you grow, and that's enough for you to know. Many changes don't require you to speak them; others will see them.

26. 27该得到的，要付出努力抓到手，不该得到的，想也不要去想。做这样一个淡淡的女子，有自己的喜好，有自己的原则，有自己的信仰，不急功近利，不浮夸轻薄，做到宠辱不惊，也会大笑，也会打闹，心，却静如水。淡定安逸，学会懂得，从而学会慈悲。

26. 27 Strive to grasp what you deserve with effort, and don't even think about what you shouldn't have. Be a faint-hearted woman with her own likes, principles, and beliefs, not in a hurry for immediate gains, not pretentious or trivial, able to remain undisturbed by fame and honor, as well as laughter and playfulness, yet with a heart as still as water. Composed and relaxed, learn to understand, and thus learn compassion.

27. 助人术 学雷锋做善事，既可以给他人带来快乐，也可使自己心安理得，心境坦然，具有较好的安全感。

27. The Art of Helping Others: By following Lei Feng's example and doing good deeds, one can bring joy to others while also feeling at ease and content with one's own conscience, cultivating a peaceful mind and a sense of security.

28. 允许偶尔看肥皂剧，但不可成为依赖。允许偶尔披头散发，但要注重场合。允许偶尔骂脏话，但只限在老友面前或者独自一人时，记得说过后要忘掉那种畅快感。

28. Allow occasional viewing of soap operas, but do not become dependent on them. Allow occasional disheveled appearances, but pay attention to the context. Allow occasional use of profanity, but only in front of close friends or when alone, and remember to forget the pleasurable sensation after using them.

29. 作家林语堂评价他：是一个无可救药的乐天派。

29. The writer Lin Yutang evaluated him as: a hopelessly optimistic person.

30. 如果决定离开一个人，行动要快一点，快刀斩乱麻；如果决定爱上一个人，时间拉长一点，看清楚是否适合你。

30. If you decide to leave someone, act quickly and cut the chase; if you decide to fall in love with someone, take some time to see whether it is suitable for you.

31. 请人引导法。有时候，不良情绪光靠自己独自调节还不够，还需借助于别人的疏导。心理学研究认为，人的心理处于压抑的时候，应当允许有节制的发泄，把闷在心里的一些苦恼倾倒出来。因此，当青年人有了苦闷的时候，可以主动找亲人、朋友诉说内心的忧愁，以摆脱不良情绪的控制。

31. The method of seeking guidance. Sometimes, relying solely on one's own efforts to regulate negative emotions is not enough; one also needs the guidance of others. Psychological research suggests that when a person's psychology is suppressed, it is permissible to have controlled venting, and to pour out some of the distress that is pent up in the heart. Therefore, when young people are troubled, they can actively seek out their relatives and friends to express their inner worries, in order to break free from the control of negative emotions.

32. 疯狂的事情经历一次就好，比如翻越千山万水的去看望一个人。

32. It's enough to experience something crazy once, like crossing mountains and rivers to visit someone.

33. 你不要一直不满人家，你应该一直检讨自己才对。不满人家，是苦了你自己。

33. You should not always be dissatisfied with others; you should constantly reflect on yourself instead. Being dissatisfied with others only causes yourself suffering.

34. 要别人善待自己，自己首先要善待别人，善待别人就是善待自己。

34. If you want others to treat you kindly, you must first treat others kindly. Being kind to others is being kind to yourself.

35. 如果一个男人对你说他喜欢你，相信他。如果他说不再爱你，也相信他。任何时候，要告诉自己，一个不爱你的人离开，是幸运。

35. If a man tells you he likes you, believe him. If he says he no longer loves you, believe him too. At any time, remind yourself that it is lucky for someone who doesn't love you to leave.

36. 这个世界上谁比谁明白的道理少呢。愈发觉得，所谓懂事，不是你手里的人生哲理集有多厚，而是你的情绪和行为控制能力有多强。情绪稳定简直是太牛逼的事儿了，别拼谁更懂，拼谁更能停，谁更能等。

36. Who in this world understands less than whom? I am increasingly aware that so-called understanding is not about how thick the collection of life philosophies in your hands is, but rather about how strong your ability to control your emotions and behavior is. Emotional stability is simply a tremendous feat, not a competition of who understands more, but who can stop better, who can wait better.

37. 记住你喜欢的人的生日，包括你的家人，当然，还有自己。

37. Remember the birthdays of the people you like, including your family, of course, and yourself.

38. 事情不顺的时候，歇口气，重新寻找突破口，就结束也要干净利落。

38. When things aren't going well, take a break, look for a new breakthrough, and end it cleanly and neatly, even if it has to end.

39. 着手一个计划，先将权责界定清楚，而且分配得当。 （

39. Initiate a plan by first clearly defining the rights and responsibilities, and allocating them appropriately.

40. 如果很不幸遇上了一个以上床为目的，对你始乱终弃的男人，请先微笑，然后鄙视他：你是我这辈子遇见的最龌龊最无能的男人。然后用最美的方式头也不要回的离开。

40. If you're unfortunately faced with a man who seeks only to bed you and then discards you, first smile, then look down upon him: You are the most dirty and incompetent man I have ever met in my life. And then leave in the most elegant way, without even turning your head.

41. 天真纯洁很好。但是不分场合的天真就会成为白痴行为。

41. Innocence and purity are good. However, innocence without discrimination of circumstances can become foolish behavior.

42. 整体氛围低落时，你要乐观、阳光。 （

42. When the overall atmosphere is low, you should be optimistic and sunny.

43. 虚的口号或标语不要常挂嘴上。 （

43. Do not often mouth empty slogans or catchphrases.

44. 制怒术 做情绪的主人，当喜则喜，当悲则悲。在遇到发怒的事情时，一思发怒有无道理，二思发怒后有何后果，三思有其它方式替代吗？这样就可以变得冷静而情绪稳定。

44. The Art of Controlling Anger: Be the master of your emotions, be joyful when there is joy, and be sorrowful when there is sorrow. When encountering things that provoke anger, consider first whether it is reasonable to be angry, secondly, think about the consequences of being angry, and thirdly, consider whether there are other ways to deal with it. This way, you can become calm and emotionally stable.

45. 我们日常生活中的情绪起伏，都会不可避免地影响周围的人；喜怒无常，也注定会破坏别人对自己的信任。所以，懂得做人，有时候比懂得做事更重要。即使你不懂怎么为人处世，至少也要学会控制情绪，而不要让情绪控制自己。

45. The ups and downs of emotions in our daily lives inevitably affect those around us; mood swings are also destined to destroy others' trust in us. Therefore, understanding how to be a person is sometimes more important than understanding how to do things. Even if you don't know how to deal with people, at least you should learn to control your emotions and not let your emotions control you.

46. 我想，不看轻自己，好好地把握自己，也许才是善待自己的真正内涵吧！

46. I think that not belittling oneself and truly grasping oneself might be the true essence of treating oneself well!

47. 宽容大度 对人不斤斤计较，不要打击报复，当你学会宽容时，爱发脾气的毛病也就自行消失了。

47. Generosity and tolerance: Be not overly meticulous in dealing with others, do not seek revenge, and once you learn to be tolerant, the habit of losing your temper will naturally fade away.

48. 如果哪个男人说了让你难堪的话，原谅他。一个被原谅的男人最后会后悔失去一个像你这么宽容的女朋友。

48. If any man says something embarrassing to you, forgive him. A man who is forgiven will eventually regret losing a girlfriend as宽容 as you.

49. 16心血来潮时，可以帮他洗衣服，买袜子，但是不要自作多情帮他买内裤。他爱穿什么就让他穿什么。

49. When you feel like it, you can help him wash his clothes and buy socks, but don't overstep your bounds by buying him underwear. Let him wear whatever he likes.

50. 39那一瞬间，你终于发现，那曾深爱过的人，早在告别的那天，已消失在这个世界。心中的爱和思念，都只是属于自己曾经拥有过的纪念。我想，有些事情是可以遗忘的，有些事情是可以纪念的，有些事情能够心甘情愿，有些事情一直无能为力。如果爱你是我的劫难，我却开始向往飞蛾，扑向烈焰。

50. At that moment, you finally realize that the person you once deeply loved had already disappeared from this world on the day of farewell. The love and longing in your heart are merely the memorials of what you once possessed. I think that some things can be forgotten, some things can be commemorated, some things can be done with a willing heart, and some things are always beyond your power. If loving you is my ordeal, I begin to yearn for a moth, flying towards the flames.

51. 没有丑女人，只有懒女人。不愿意用时间来装扮自己的女人，请不要对其他的美丽女人心生嫉妒不满。

51. There are no ugly women, only lazy ones. Women who are unwilling to spend time on their appearance should not feel jealous or resentful towards other beautiful women.

52. 有自己的人生观和价值观。出现问题可以忍让并寻求解决，但是触及原则，要保持自己原则。丧失原则会让你失去生活的目的。

52. Have your own set of life views and values. When problems arise, you can be accommodating and seek solutions, but when it comes to principles, you must uphold your own. Losing your principles will cause you to lose the purpose of your life.

53. 语言调节法 语言是一个人情绪体验强有力的表现工具。通过语言可以引起或抑制 情绪反应，即使不出声的内部语言也能起到调节作用。林则徐在墙上挂有"制怒"二字的条 幅，这是用语言来控制调节情绪的好办法。

53. Language Regulation Method Language is a powerful tool for expressing a person's emotional experiences. Through language, emotional reactions can be induced or suppressed, even if it's the silent internal language, it can still play a regulatory role. Lin Zexu had a scroll with the words "Control Anger" hanging on the wall, which is a good way to use language to control and regulate emotions.

54. 有一个最少两年内需要达成的目标。有目标的人生不会太无聊。

54. There is a goal that needs to be achieved within the next two years. A life with goals will not be too boring.

55. 任何时候，一个人都不应该做自己情绪的奴隶，不应该使一切行动都受制于自己的情绪，而应该反过来控制情绪。无论境况多么糟糕，你应该努力去支配你的环境，把自己从黑暗中拯救出来。

55. At any time, a person should not be a slave to their emotions, nor should they allow all their actions to be governed by their emotions; instead, they should control their emotions. Regardless of how dire the situation may be, you should strive to dominate your environment and rescue yourself from the darkness.

56. 认错从上级开始，表功从下级启动 （

56. Acknowledge mistakes starting from the superiors, and show achievements starting from the subordinates.

57. 29没有丑女人，只有懒女人。不愿意用时间来装扮自己的女人，请不要对其他的美丽女人心生嫉妒不满。

57. There are no ugly women, only lazy ones. Women who are unwilling to spend time on themselves should not feel jealousy and dissatisfaction towards other beautiful women.