1. 本人不但有车，还是自行的。

1. Not only do I have a car, but I also ride it myself.

2. 孺子牛出自《左传·哀公六年》中记载的一个典故，原意是表示父母对子女的过分疼爱。后来现代伟大文学家鲁迅《自嘲》中的横眉冷对千夫指，俯首甘为孺子牛名句使孺子牛的精神得到升华，人们用孺子牛来比喻心甘情愿为人民大众服务，无私奉献的人。

2. The metaphor of the "young bull" originates from a classic anecdote recorded in the "Zuo Zhuan" (a part of the "Spring and Autumn Annals") from the year 6 of Duke Ai. The original meaning was to express excessive parental love for their children. Later, the great modern Chinese writer Lu Xun used the phrase "with a cold brow, I endure the fingers of a thousand critics, bowing my head, willing to be a young bull" in his poem "Self-derision," which elevated the spirit of the young bull. People now use the metaphor of the young bull to refer to those who are willing to serve the masses heartily and make selfless contributions.

3. 幸运者做猪不幸者做人，我是个幸运的不幸者，起码我睡的像猪。

3. The fortunate ones are pigs, and the unfortunate ones are humans; I am an unfortunate fortunate one, at least I sleep like a pig.

4. 执子之手，方知子丑，泪流满面，子不走我走。

4. Holding your hand, I realize you are ugly; tears stream down my face, and if you don't leave, I will.

5. 当生活心怀歹毒地将一切都搞成了黑色幽默，我顺水推舟把自己变成了一个受过高等教育的流氓。

5. As life maliciously turned everything into black humor, I went along with the flow and turned myself into a well-educated rascal.

6. 幽默是一种优美的、健康的品质。愿你让自己幽默起来。——前苏联 列宁

6. Humor is a beautiful and healthy quality. May you find humor in yourself. — Vladimir Lenin, former Soviet Union

7. 我以为我很颓废，今天我才知道，原来我早报废了。

7. I thought I was decadent, but today I've realized that I was already obsolete long ago.

8. 猫儿，你别太猖狂，有一天，鱼儿可能会把你摁到水里！

8. Cat, don't be too cheeky; one day, the fish might push you into the water!

9. 在别人需要帮助的时候伸出一只手，在别人得意忘形的时候伸出一只脚。

9. Extend a hand when others need help, and extend a foot when others are overconfident.

10. 你以为我会眼睁睁地看着你去送死？我会闭上眼睛的。《像小强一样活着》

10. Do you think I would just watch you walk into danger? I would close my eyes. "Living Like a Super Strong"

11. 解名著：三国‘志’三国演义水浒‘传’英雄末路阅西游取经‘穷’途梦红楼美人迟暮

11. Classic works: "Romance of the Three Kingdoms," "Water Margin," "The Heroes' End," "Journey to the West," "The Poor Road," and "Dream of the Red Chamber" where beauty fades with time.

12. 我明白，我现在留的泪，都是当初选专业时脑袋里进的水。《爱情公寓4》

12. I understand that the tears I'm shedding now are all the water that entered my head when I chose my major. "Love Apartment 4"

13. 最近一切都好，就心情不好，为什么心情不好，因为以为一切都好！

13. Everything has been good recently, but I'm feeling down. The reason I'm feeling down is because I thought everything was going well!

14. 幽默：可以说是能给人以微妙感的调剂生活的佐料。由于某种轻巧的幽默，就可 以使当时的气氛为之改观，使陷于僵局的悬案豁然解决。——日 大平正芳

14. Humor: It can be said to be an ingredient that can subtly adjust life, giving people a sense of delicacy. Due to some light-hearted humor, the atmosphere at the time can be transformed, and a deadlock can be suddenly resolved. — Asahi, Masahiko Hatake

15. 英雄不问出路，流氓不看岁数！

15. A hero does not inquire about his path, a rascal does not look at age!

16. 幸福是什么？幸福就是你吃鱼，我吃肉，看着别人啃骨头。

16. What is happiness? Happiness is when you eat fish, I eat meat, and we watch others gnaw on bones.

17. 不主动，美女就会让别的男人爬到她身上。不拒绝，就会有丑女爬到你身上。不承诺，就没哪个女人愿意让你爬在她身上。其实干工作也一样：不主动，好位置就会让别人弄走。不拒绝，什么瘪事都安排给你，还经常受批。不承诺，没有哪个领导相信你，因为领导感觉不到你的决心。李敖

17. If you don't take the initiative, beautiful women will let other men climb onto them. If you don't refuse, ugly women will climb onto you. If you don't make promises, no woman will be willing to let you climb onto them. In fact, it's the same with work: If you don't take the initiative, good positions will be taken by others. If you don't refuse, you'll be assigned to all kinds of trivial matters and often criticized. If you don't make promises, no leader will believe in you because leaders can't feel your determination. — Li Ao

18. 一天早上你醒来的时候发现有只小鸟撞死在你的床头，这说明什么？这说明上帝在玩愤怒的小鸟。不不，因为你是猪头啊！《爱情公寓4》

18. One morning when you wake up, you find a little bird has collided with your bedside table. What does this mean? It means God is playing Angry Birds. No, no, because you are a pighead! "Love Apartment 4"

19. 对我来说钻石只是一块含有9998%的碳而已，不过我蛮喜欢碳了。

19. To me, a diamond is just a piece of carbon containing 99.98%, but I quite like carbon.

20. 误解名著：刘关张桃园三结义起身陪唐僧西游去路上结识贾宝玉五大郎成好兄弟

20. Misunderstanding Classic Works: Liu, Guan, and Zhang form a sworn brothership in the桃园 and embark on a journey with Tangseng to the West. Along the way, they meet Jia Baoyu and become good brothers with the fifth son.

21. 名句作为警示自己的句子，希望以上《幽默名言名句》内容对您有所帮助，如果还想获取更多名句内容可以点击 名言名句 专题。

21. Famous sentences as cautionary phrases for oneself, I hope the content of the above "Humorous Famous Sayings and Quotations" can be helpful to you. If you want to get more famous sentences, you can click on the "Famous Sayings and Quotations" special topic.

22. 英雄难过美人关，我不是英雄，美人让我过了关。

22. Even heroes have a hard time passing the beauty's threshold, but I am not a hero, and the beauty allowed me to pass through the threshold.

23. 所谓M-ZONE人是指被M个人一起揍的人。

23. The so-called M-ZONE people refer to those who have been beaten up by M individuals together.

24. 有些话欺瞒不了别人也要骗自己，会不会，如果还想放过自己就别太聪明，对不对。

24. There are some things that cannot deceive others, but still, they can deceive oneself. Isn't it true that if one still wants to spare oneself, one should not be too clever?

25. 抽一支香烟减寿5秒，笑一笑则长寿10秒，所以每次抽烟我就要笑一笑，为生命赚回5秒钟。

25. Smoking a cigarette reduces lifespan by 5 seconds, while a smile adds 10 seconds to it, so every time I smoke, I will smile to make up for the 5 seconds lost in life.

26. 长得很科幻，也有些抽象。

26. Looks very futuristic and somewhat abstract.

27. 我深信，会有一个男人是为受我的折磨而来到这世上的。

27. I firmly believe that there is a man who came into this world to suffer for my sake.

28. 天上乌云黑压压小时候天真的以为是上帝欠了撒旦钱没还今儿跑他家来泼油漆！

28. When I was little and saw the dark, ominous clouds in the sky, I naively thought it was because God owed the Devil money and hadn't paid it back, so he went to his house today to pour paint all over!

29. 幽默是人的本性，它或许可以改变一时的气氛，却改变不了一生的痛苦。 ——郭辰

29. Humor is the nature of humans; it may change the atmosphere for a moment, but it cannot change the pain of a lifetime. ——Guo Chen

30. 将来我死了。把QQ捐给希望工程。让孩子们一上来就能用带太阳的QQ。?>

30. In the future, when I die, donate my QQ account to the Hope Project. Let the children use QQ with the sun right from the start.?>

31. 喜欢一个人是一回事想拥有又是另一回事就像他喜欢下雨天而没有去淋雨的想法！

31. Liking someone is one thing, wanting to possess them is another; it's like someone likes rainy days but doesn't actually want to get wet!

32. 说金钱是罪恶，都在捞；说美女是祸水，都想要；说高处不胜寒，都在爬；说烟酒伤身体，都不戒；说天堂最美好，都不去！

32. They say money is evil, yet they all strive for it; they say beautiful women are a祸源, yet everyone desires them; they say it's too cold at high places, yet they all keep climbing; they say smoking and drinking harm the body, yet no one gives them up; they say heaven is the most beautiful, yet no one goes there!

33. 有些人发高烧过后成了超人而有些则成了植物人。

33. Some people become superhumans after having a high fever, while others become vegetative.

34. 全世界反对我都会选择跟你在一起，不离不弃。

34. Regardless of opposition from all over the world, I would choose to be with you, never leaving or forsaking you.

35. 能用钱解决的问题都不是问题，可问题是我是穷人。

35. Any problem that can be solved with money isn't a problem, but the problem is that I am poor.

36. 当你变老了，你的身材越来越短，而你的故事却越来越长。——罗伯特·基廷

36. As you grow older, your body may become shorter, but your stories become longer. - Robert Kitting

37. 老男人没有事业选择出家老女人；失去幸福希望改嫁。

37. The old man chose to become a monk instead of pursuing a career; the old woman changed her marriage out of a loss of hope for happiness.

38. 幽默是表明工人对自己事业具有信心并且表明自己占着优势的标志。 ——恩格斯

38. Humor is a sign that the worker has confidence in their cause and shows that they are in the advantageous position. — Engels

39. 再牛b的肖邦，也弹不出老子的悲伤！

39. Even the most amazing Chopin couldn't play out my sorrow!

40. 俯首甘为孺子牛的含义是心甘情愿的为人民服务，愿为人民肝脑涂地。表现出鲁迅先生对党对人民的忠心。

40. The meaning of the phrase "甘为孺子牛" is to serve the people wholeheartedly and be willing to sacrifice oneself for the people. It reflects Mr. Lu Xun's loyalty to the party and the people.

41. 当我们身边出现第一个再次讲起笑话的人，那一刻，这个城市就将慢慢地再度站起。——朱利亚尼

41. When the first person around us starts telling jokes again, that moment, this city will slowly start to stand up again. - Giuliani

42. 没钱的那个礼拜我熬过了那个礼拜兄弟们都佩服的叫我：熬拜！

42. I made it through that week without any money, and the brothers all admired me and called me: "Survivor!"

43. 幽默是具有智慧、教育和道德上优越的表现。——德 恩格斯

43. Humor is an expression of superiority in wisdom, education, and morality. — Karl Marx, Friedrich Engels

44. 我是变态人里最正常的，是正常人里最变态的。

44. I am the most normal among the perverts and the most perverted among the normals.

45. 有空学风水去，死后占个好墓也算弥补了生前买不起好房的遗憾。

45. Take the time to learn about feng shui; at least after death, occupying a good grave will compensate for the regret of not being able to afford a nice house in life.

46. 心事不能随便说，就像现在我想你了，但我不告诉别人。

46. One cannot just talk about one's secrets, like how I miss you now, but I don't tell anyone else.

47. 走牛B的路，让傻B去说吧！

47. Walk your own path, let the idiots talk!

48. 我是白领：今天领了薪水，交了房租水电，买了油米泡面，摸了口袋，感叹一声，这个月工资又白领了…

48. I'm a white-collar worker: Today, I received my salary, paid the rent and utilities, bought oil, rice, and instant noodles, felt my pockets, and sighed, "My salary has been white-collared again this month..."

49. 人生四大悲：久旱逢**，一滴；他乡遇故知，债主；洞房花烛夜，隔壁；金榜提名时，做梦。

49. The four great sorrows in life: Meeting a raindrop after a long drought; Running into a creditor in a foreign land; The night of the wedding chamber, next door; Being named on the golden list, dreaming.

50. 武夫卖性命，拚死争防地。文人卖议论，毁孔誉夏翌。土豪卖人民，剥膏媚贪吏。我家无长物，惟卖旧文字。

50. Warriors sell their lives, fighting to the death for defense lands. Literati sell their opinions, denouncing Confucius and praising Xia Yi. Aristocrats sell the people, stripping away the grease to flatter greedy officials. My home has no excess, only selling old writings.

51. 我并不是每天下班的时候都数星星，有时也能看日出。

51. I'm not counting stars every day when I get off work; sometimes I can also see the sunrise.

52. 都说我长得寒碜，不过我妈挺稀罕我，我妈说小时候带我去公园，老多人围着问我妈：大姐，你这猴哪买的？现在我都长开了！

52. People always say I look ugly, but my mom is quite fond of me. My mom says when I was little, she took me to the park, and a lot of people would gather around and ask my mom: 'Sister, where did you buy this monkey?' Now I've grown up beautifully!

53. 一个人的时候很简单想着另一个人的时候很孤单

53. It's simple when one is alone, but lonely when thinking of another person.

54. 没结婚前，我好像一只自由的小鸟。而现在则是一只被栓了链子的狗！

54. Before getting married, I felt like a free bird. Now, I'm more like a dog chained up!

55. 人生简单的说是一个目的地到另一个目的地，最后到墓地的过程。

55. Simply put, life is a journey from one destination to another, and finally to the cemetery.

56. 男怕入错行，女怕嫁错郎，这句话地前半句影响了我的事业，后半句影响了我的爱情。羽洛先生《李作乐日记》

56. A man fears choosing the wrong profession, a woman fears marrying the wrong man; the first half of this saying has affected my career, while the second half has affected my love life. From Mr. Yu Luo's "Diary of Li Zuole"

57. 们会说：我想得到这种奖金，要比我做这桩事情来得顺当，因为我立刻可以说出自己的想法，而且不用耍什么诡计。 ——黑格尔

57. They would say: I would like to receive this prize more readily than to do this thing, because I can immediately express my own ideas and do not have to resort to any cunning. — Hegel

58. 唯女人与英语难过也，唯老婆与工作难找也！

58. Only women and English are hard to pass, only a wife and a job are hard to find!

59. 有些人死了很有价值，有些人死了他的画很有价值！

59. Some people die with great value, while some people die and their paintings are highly valued!

60. "再累再苦就当自己是二百五,再难再险就当自己是二皮脸。《北大差生》"

60. "No matter how tired or bitter, treat yourself as a fool; no matter how difficult or dangerous, act like a two-faced person. 'Peking University's Underachiever'"

61. 挂了科比就不能挂柯南了，我们都希望挂科比不挂柯南呢《爱情公寓4》

61. If Kobe is taken down, we can't take down Conan. We all hope that Kobe will be taken down but not Conan. (From "Love Apartment 4")

62. ● 幽默当然用笑来发泄，但是笑未必就表示着幽默。——中国钱钟书

62. ● Humor certainly uses laughter as an outlet, but laughter does not necessarily indicate humor. - Qian Zhongshu of China

63. 如果说我这个脸算混血儿的话，最多是越南帮柬埔寨的混血儿。

63. If I can be considered a mestizo, at most I am a mestizo of Vietnamese helping Cambodians.

64. 其实，我们不是不喜欢上学，只是不喜欢上课。如果没有老师，学校会是世界上最美好的地方。《我们都是坏孩子》

64. In fact, it's not that we don't like going to school, we just don't like attending classes. If there were no teachers, school would be the most wonderful place in the world. — "We Are All Bad Kids"

65. ● 幽默的人生观是真实的、宽容的、同情的人生观。——中国林语堂

65. ● A humorous outlook on life is a genuine, tolerant, and sympathetic one. — Lin Yutang, China

66. 关关雎鸠，在河之洲，窈窕淑女，whatsyourQQ《爱情公寓4》

66. The male and female mandarins, on the isle of the river, a graceful and elegant maiden, what's your QQ? ("Love Apartment 4")

67. 是金子总要发光的，但当满地都是金子的时候，我自己也不知道自己是哪颗了。

67. Gold will always shine, but when there is gold everywhere, I myself don't know which piece of gold I am.

68. 不想就不要去在意，得到就会失去有人走也会有人来。

68. If you don't want it, don't worry about it; if you get it, you'll lose it. Some people will leave, and some will come.

69. 面对我前面的人群，我得穿过而且潇洒，我知道你在旁边上看着，挺假……

69. Facing the crowd in front of me, I have to go through and be stylish, I know you're watching from the side, it's quite fake...

70. 如果有一天我变成流氓，请告诉别人，我纯真过……

70. If one day I become a hooligan, please tell others that I was ever innocent...

71. 赚别人的钱，让贫穷见鬼去吧。

71. Make money from others, let poverty go to hell.

72. 我最近连台风都羡慕，他们的走向不是都已经定好了吗。仁荷《匹诺曹》

72. Lately, I even envy the typhoons, their paths aren't all set in stone, are they? Renhe's "Pinocchio."

73. 感谢我的双眼，再小，再眯，我也能看见，日出，日落，花开，花谢。

73. Gratitude to my eyes, however small or squinted, for I can still see the sunrise, sunset, flowers blooming, and withering.

74. 我当年也是个痴情的种子，结果下了场雨……淹死了。

74. I used to be a foolishly romantic person, but then it rained... and I drowned.

75. 原来，心头的怅惘与失望，竟是比受伤更甚的毒药。

75. Originally, the melancholy and disappointment in the heart were even more poisonous than the injury itself.

76. 小时候，我是个天才，经过二十多年的教育后，终于成功的被培育成庸才！

76. When I was young, I was a genius. After more than twenty years of education, I was finally successfully cultivated into an ordinary person!

77. 使你发笑的人，滑稽。使你想了一想笑的人，幽默。——George Bunus

77. The person who makes you laugh is comical. The person who makes you think and then laugh is humorous. — George Bunus