1. 脸先着地，无力回天。

1. Face down, with no power to turn things around.

2. 铁杵能磨成针，但木杵只能磨成牙签，材料不对，再努力也没用。

2. An iron rod can be ground into a needle, but a wooden rod can only be ground into a toothpick. If the material is not right, no amount of effort will do any good.

3. 如今这社会，女的照相照胸，男的照相照车谁知道胸是不是挤的，车是不是你的。

3. In today's society, women take photos that showcase their chests, and men take photos of cars. Who knows if the chests are pushed up, or if the cars belong to them.

4. 少女诚可贵、少妇价更高、若有富婆在、二者皆可抛。

4. Virgins are precious, young women are even more so, but if there's a rich woman, both can be discarded.

5. 你有没有想过这么多年，你在谁身边笑的最大声活得最自然，那个人就是你真正的朋友。

5. Have you ever thought about who you laughed the loudest with and lived the most naturally all these years? That person is your true friend.

6. 上帝肯定会原谅我的，因为那是他的职业。

6. God will definitely forgive me, because that is his profession.

7. 春色满园关不住，我诱红杏出墙来。

7. The spring beauty cannot be confined within the garden walls, I lure the red apricot blossoms to come over the wall.

8. 在职场中就应该像柯南那样，有一种我走到哪就让别人死到哪的霸气。

8. In the workplace, one should have the formidable aura of Conan, making others feel like they are doomed wherever I go.

9. 跟你很熟吗，没事弹个视频，你当是你家电视啊，一按就出人。

9. Are you very familiar with me, randomly playing a video, you think it's your TV at home, press a button and people come out.

10. 如果你年轻却不激进，那么你就是个没心的人；如果你老了却不保守，那么你就是个没脑的人。

10. If you are young but not radical, then you are a heartless person; if you are old but not conservative, then you are a brainless person.

11. 爱是费尽心力地全身投入，然后再百转千回地抽身而出！

11. Love is fully immersing oneself with all one's effort, and then carefully withdrawing after countless twists and turns!

12. 为了未来好一点，现在苦一点有什么。

12. What's the point of being a bit more difficult now for a better future?

13. 你疼过，便懂得了；你跨越过，便成熟了。你总是要失去了什么，才学会珍惜什么。你总是要碰了壁，才会学会改变什么，放弃什么。

13. You understand after you have felt pain; you mature after you have crossed over. You always have to lose something before you learn to cherish what you have. You always have to hit a wall before you learn to change something, to let go of something.

14. 世界上最长的一段恋爱，就是自恋。

14. The longest love story in the world is narcissism.

15. 要我扫地就绝对不刷碗，要我刷碗就绝对不扫地，两样一起做？你当我是外星人啊！

15. If you ask me to sweep the floor, I will definitely not wash the dishes, and if you ask me to wash the dishes, I will definitely not sweep the floor. Both at the same time? You think I'm an alien, right?

16. 哭给自己听，笑给别人看，这就是所谓的人生。

16. Cry to yourself, smile for others, that is what is called life.

17. 鸵鸟的幸福，只是一堆沙子。

17. The happiness of an ostrich is just a heap of sand.

18. 少喝酒，多吃菜，够不着，站起来，有人劝，就耍赖，天黑以前得回来。

18. Drink less and eat more vegetables. If you can't reach, stand up. If someone persuades you, act stubbornly. You must return before it gets dark.

19. 生命中最难的阶段不是没有人懂你，而是你不懂你自己。

19. The most difficult stage in life is not that no one understands you, but that you do not understand yourself.

20. 不吃饭的女人这世上也许还有好几个，不吃醋的女人却连一个也没有。

20. There may be several women in the world who don't eat, but there isn't a single woman who doesn't feel jealous.

21. 漂亮的女人大多相似，难看的女人却各有不同。

21. Beautiful women are often similar, but ugly women are all different.

22. 没有人在世界上能够弃你，除非你自己自暴自弃。因为我们是属于自己的，并不属于他人。

22. No one in the world can abandon you unless you yourself abandon yourself. Because we belong to ourselves, not to others.

23. 你的一生会遇见很多人，有人爱你，有人忌妒你，有人把你当做宝，有人不把你当回事。你痛了，你累了，你失落了，你错过了，这些统统与人无关，你的未来，统统要你自己负责。

23. Throughout your life, you will meet many people. Some will love you, some will envy you, some will treat you as a treasure, and some will not take you seriously. When you hurt, when you are tired, when you feel lost, when you miss out, all of these have nothing to do with others. Your future, you have to take responsibility for it all by yourself.

24. 谁不是一边受伤，一边学会坚强。

24. Who hasn't learned to be strong while being hurt.

25. 一辈子很长，要和有趣的人在一起才会快乐。

25. Life is long, and happiness can only be found by spending it with interesting people.

26. 我本来想给生活一个吻，而现实却给了我两巴掌，你说作为回报，我能不踹他一脚么？

26. I originally wanted to give life a kiss, but reality gave me two slaps instead. You know, as payback, can I not kick it back?

27. 我明白，我了解，我懂得。你累了，你怕了，你走了。

27. I understand, I know, I comprehend. You are tired, you are scared, you leave.

28. 路见不平一声吼，吼完继续往前走。

28. If you see injustice, shout out loud; after shouting, keep walking forward.

29. 不蒸馒头争口气行吗？

29. Can't we make some dumplings just to show we can?

30. 我小时候得了恐高症，所以到现在我个子也长不高。

30. When I was young, I developed acrophobia, so my height hasn't increased much since then.

31. 爱情不是避难所，想进去避难的话，是会被赶出来的。

31. Love is not a sanctuary; if one wants to seek refuge in it, one will be driven out.

32. 生，容易。活，容易。生活，不容易。

32. Being born is easy. Living is easy. Living a life is not easy.

33. 假如计算机每重启一次，比尔盖茨都可以得到一元钱，那么他可要发了。

33. If every time the computer restarts, Bill Gates can earn one yuan, then he would be very wealthy.

34. 你给我买10条烟总比我去一次夜总会划算吧。

34. Isn't it more economical for you to buy me 10 cigarettes than for me to go to a night club once?

35. 天哪！我的衣服又瘦了。

35. Oh my goodness! My clothes are getting too tight again.

36. 聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。

36. Smart people are all unmarried; married people find it hard to become smart again.

37. 现在的男生都太坏，比女生高，比女生白，比女生漂亮，还和女生抢男朋友，不可原谅！

37. Nowadays, boys are all too bad; they are taller than girls, whiter, and prettier than girls, and even steal girls' boyfriends. This is unforgivable!

38. 如果我死了，我的第一句话是：老子终于不用怕鬼了。

38. If I die, my first words would be: Finally, I don't have to be afraid of ghosts anymore.

39. 别人的钱财乃我的身外之物。

39. The wealth of others is merely my extraneous possession.

40. 你是风儿我是沙，你是牙膏我是刷，你是哈密我是瓜，你不爱我我**。

40. You are the wind and I am the sand, you are the toothpaste and I am the brush, you are Hami and I am the melon, if you don't love me, I... **.

41. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。

41. Even the happiest bachelor will eventually get married, because happiness is not eternal, right?

42. 远看是美景，近看想报警。

42. From a distance, it's a beautiful sight; up close, you'd want to call the police.

43. 还没死，就别把自己当废物。还活着，就好好地过活。

43. If you're still alive, don't consider yourself a waste. If you're living, live well.

44. 不愿做奴隶的人民，愿做人民币的奴隶。

44. A people unwilling to be slaves, yet willing to be slaves to the Renminbi.

45. 我就算是一只癞蛤蟆，我也决不娶母癞蛤蟆。?>

45. Even if I were a toad, I would never marry a female toad.

46. 我妈过生日，送脑白金还不如送两块大梁骨煮煮吃，至少还能当下酒菜。

46. My mother's birthday, giving her Nuo Bing Jin (a traditional Chinese health food) is not as good as giving her two big ribs to cook and eat, at least they can serve as snacks with alcohol.

47. 每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。

47. Everyone should love animals, because they are delicious.

48. 上厕所看报纸等同于大便完了擦**，是一个流程，否则不叫完工。

48. Reading the newspaper while using the toilet is equivalent to wiping after a bowel movement; it's a process, otherwise it's not considered finished.

49. 高职不如高薪，高薪不如高寿，高寿不如高兴。

49. Vocational education is not as good as high salary, high salary is not as good as long life, and long life is not as good as happiness.

50. 我们只看到别人牛逼的时候，却没看到别人在牛逼之前那段苦逼的日子。

50. We only see others at their best, but fail to see the hard times they went through before reaching that level.

51. 很多话说得彻底了伤人，说得不彻底了还是伤人！总有一些人，一些事让我们如此无奈！

51. Many things, when said to the fullest, hurt people; when not said to the fullest, they still hurt! There are always some people and some things that make us feel so helpless!

52. 男人不能惯，越惯越混蛋。女人就得宠，越宠越有种，还是别人的。

52. Men cannot be pampered; the more they are pampered, the worse they become. Women, on the other hand, need to be cherished; the more they are cherished, the more formidable they become, and they belong to someone else.

53. 个头大就一定厉害吗？恐龙不是照样灭绝了！

53. Does being big necessarily mean being powerful? Dinosaurs also went extinct, didn't they!

54. 你可以像猪一样的生活，但你永远都不能像猪那样快乐！

54. You can live like a pig, but you will never be as happy as a pig!

55. 几个人用同样的钥匙，打开同一扇门。几个人用同样的目光，跟空荡的寝室说再见。

55. Several people use the same key to open the same door. Several people use the same gaze to say goodbye to the empty dormitory.

56. 世界上总有一种爱，不为相貌、不为钱财、不为出身、不为将来、不为相守、不为占有，只为爱而存在，单纯而透明。

56. There is always a kind of love in the world that exists not for appearance, not for wealth, not for background, not for the future, not for companionship, not for possession; it exists solely for love, pure and transparent.

57. 我把记忆都留在心里最深处，等待我们的还有更长，更值得挑战的路程！加油吧，长大的同学们，相信我们都是好样的！

57. I have kept all the memories at the deepest part of my heart, and there are longer and more challenging journeys ahead for us! Come on, fellow classmates growing up, believe that we are all great!

58. 为何我的眼中总饱含泪水？因为我装逼装得深沉。

58. Why are my eyes always brimming with tears? Because I act too cool.

59. 你给别人发信息，别人半天才回。你秒回，你傻不傻啊你。

59. You send someone a message and they take half a day to reply. You reply immediately, are you crazy or what?

60. 想污染一个地方有两种方法：垃圾，或是钞票！

60. There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage, or money!