在人际关系的海洋中，有一把无形的尺，它衡量着我们的强弱与恩怨。而这把尺，既非冰冷的金属，也非柔软的丝线，它是——人性的微妙。

In the ocean of human relationships, there is an invisible ruler that measures our strengths and weaknesses, as well as our grievances and kindnesses. And this ruler is neither cold metal nor soft silk; it is the subtlety of human nature.

1. 首先，分享几个常见的关于人脉的理解误区：“名片囤积狂”、“皇冠综合征”、“熟悉的陌生人”。

1. Firstly, let's share several common misunderstandings about networking: "Business Card Hoarder", "Crown Syndrome", and "Familiar Strangers".

2. 最后还可以同通过参加线下活动的方式来加入圈子。参加线下活动时，要有意识、有目标的去社交。如果你只是干坐在那一言不发，就又犯了“皇冠综合征”的错误，别人很难记住你，这就是无效社交。你可以提前给自己设定目标，比如和1/3的陌生人交谈、和超过3人有深切交流、会后和至少一人保持联系等。

2. Lastly, you can also join the circle by participating in offline activities. When attending offline events, be conscious and purposeful in your social interactions. If you just sit there silently without speaking, you are committing the mistake of the "Crown Syndrome," making it difficult for others to remember you, which is ineffective socializing. You can set goals for yourself in advance, such as having conversations with 1/3 of strangers, engaging in deep discussions with more than 3 people, and maintaining contact with at least one person after the event.

3. 最后也是最重要的一点，很容易被忽略：你能为对方提供什么价值。我们在寻求帮助时很容易将自己置于弱者的地位，认为别人帮助弱者是理所应当的。其实不然，任何人都没有义务无条件的帮你，只有在你能够为对方提供价值的基础上，你的请求才更有可能被接受。

3. Lastly and most importantly, something that is often overlooked: What value can you provide to the other party? It's easy for us to put ourselves in the position of a弱者 when seeking help, thinking that it is理所当然 for others to help those in need. However, this is not the case. No one has an obligation to help you unconditionally; rather, your request is more likely to be accepted when you can offer value to the other person.

4. 什么样的人可以帮助我。从这两个角度出发，可以大致对自己需要帮助的人有一个画像，接下来就进入到第二步：搜寻对象。

4. What kind of people can help me. Starting from these two perspectives, you can roughly form a portrait of the people you need help from. Next, we move on to the second step: searching for subjects.

5. 人与人之间的关系，归根结底，就是一场权力的博弈。你所处的位置，你的价值，你能给对方提供的东西，决定了你能在这段关系中拥有多少话语权，决定了对方对你的尊重程度！你越强，别人越重视你的需求，越尊重你的感受，愿能替你考虑的周全；你越弱，别人越忽视你的感受，越不会去尊重你，越会把你的付出当做一文不值。

5. In essence, the relationship between people is a game of power. Your position, your value, and what you can offer to the other person determine how much say you have in this relationship, and how much respect you receive from them! The stronger you are, the more others value your needs, the more they respect your feelings, and are willing to consider your well-being; the weaker you are, the more others ignore your feelings, the less they respect you, and the more they undervalue your contributions.

6. 针对以上三种常见误区，有不同的解决方法。对“名片囤积狂”而言，最重要的是要，明确自己的需求和价值。知道自己到底想要什么，才会有针对性的进行社交，避免无用功。对“皇冠综合征”来说，需要主动宣传自己。可以打造自己的个人品牌，扩大自己的而知名度。对于“熟悉的陌生人”而言，就需要有意识的盘活自己的人脉关系了。当然，每个人的精力都是有限的。根据二八定律，我们需要盘活的对自己真正有用的20%人脉就可以了。

6. For the above three common misconceptions, there are different solutions. For those with a "business card hoarding obsession," the most important thing is to clearly define your needs and value. Knowing exactly what you want will enable you to engage in targeted social activities and avoid wasted efforts. For those suffering from the "crown syndrome," it is necessary to actively promote yourself. You can build your personal brand and expand your public recognition. For those who are "familiar strangers," it is necessary to be conscious of activating their network of contacts. Of course, everyone's energy is limited. According to the 80/20 rule, we only need to activate the 20% of our contacts that are truly useful to us.

7. 什么样的圈子对我有帮助。 比如说你想要做自媒体，那你可能需要提升自己的写作能力、运营能力。这时候可能会有写作圈、运营圈，你就要有意识的去选择当下自己需要的是什么圈子。定义自己人脉网络的标准，确保时间投入是有价值的。

7. What kind of circles are helpful to me. For example, if you want to do self-media, you may need to improve your writing and operational skills. At this time, there may be writing circles and operational circles, and you should be conscious of choosing the kind of circle that suits your current needs. Define the standards for your network of contacts to ensure that the time you invest is valuable.

8. 在人际交往中我们要学会与人和谐相处的技巧，所谓林子大了什么样的人都有，不要用同样的交往方式去和所有人交往，要学会随机应变，只有良好的沟通才能使你与其他人和谐的相处。

8. In interpersonal communication, we need to learn the skills of harmonious coexistence with others. As the saying goes, "The forest is large, and all kinds of people are there." Do not use the same way of communication with everyone. Learn to adapt to different situations, and only good communication can enable you to coexist harmoniously with others.

9. 借助圈子的力量可以拓展我们的人脉，上面也提到这是针对长期目标的方法。如果比手头上有需要急切解决的问题，还按照这样的方式来找可以帮助你的人，效率就太低下了。这个时候我们往往需要熊潜在的人群中找到能够帮助我们的人。同样，也可以分为3步来执行： （

9. Utilizing the power of networks can expand our circle of contacts, as mentioned above, this is a method for long-term goals. If there are urgent issues that need to be resolved at hand, and we still search for people who can help us in this manner, the efficiency would be too low. At this point, we often need to find people who can help us from the bear potential group. Similarly, this can also be executed in 3 steps:

10. 确定人员后，就需要进一步的接触了。这一步往往是很多人失败的关键，初次接触时需要明确三点：了解对方、明确来意、澄清价值。

10. After determining the personnel, further contact is required. This step is often the key to failure for many people. At the first contact, it is necessary to clarify three points: understand the other party, clarify the purpose, and clarify the value.

11. 可以从常用的社交平台，比如：知乎、微博等，通过关键字方式搜索，先大致整理一个可以帮助自己的人的名单，最好对名单进行一次筛选。如果是校友，或在同一个地方工作，那么在询求帮助时，更容易获得对方的好感。

11. You can search on commonly used social platforms, such as Zhihu, Weibo, etc., through keyword searches, first roughly compile a list of people who can help you. It's best to screen the list. If you are alumni or work in the same place, it will be easier to win the other person's favor when seeking help.

12. 人这一生中，善良固然重要，但缺乏相互尊重的善良，只会被人利用、忽视甚至伤害。

12. In this life, kindness is indeed important, but kindness without mutual respect can only be exploited, ignored, or even harmed by others.

13. 本书中就介绍了关于常见的对人脉的理解误区，以及如何有效的提升自己的人脉，让人脉为我所用。

13. This book introduces common misunderstandings about the understanding of personal connections, as well as how to effectively enhance one's personal network to make it work for me.

14. 还有一种误区是 “熟悉的陌生人” ，意思是你刚加了别人微信之后聊过一两次，之后便没有再联系。等着下次遇到问题想要去请教的时候，发现不好意思开口，于是他就成了你通讯录里“最熟悉的陌生人”。

14. There is also a misconception called "familiar stranger," which means that after you have chatted with someone on WeChat a few times, you no longer contact them. When you encounter a problem later and want to seek their advice, you find it embarrassing to approach them, and thus, they become the "most familiar stranger" in your contact list.

15. 你目前的阶段性人生重点是什么？ 每个人职业发展到不同时期会有不同的需求，更比如刚入职的职员的阶段性重点就是自己的事业，如何高效的工作，提升自己的工作能力；而工作了一定年限的高管，他们的需求可能就是如何平衡事业与家庭等。通过这个问题，明确你当下的人生重点是什么，才会有意识的往重点去靠拢；

15. What are your current stage-of-life focal points? At different stages of professional development, people have different needs. For example, for new employees, the stage-specific focus is often on their career, how to work efficiently, and how to enhance their work abilities. For executives with several years of work experience, their needs may be about how to balance their career and family. By asking this question, you can clarify what your current life focus is and then consciously align yourself towards those priorities.

16. 只有自己强大了，别人才不敢欺负你，打压你！强大了自然有人来巴结你！坚决不去讨好人，做老好人！吃亏的是自己！

16. Only when you are strong will others dare not bully or suppress you! Strength naturally attracts people to flatter you! Resolutely do not try to please others, be a pushover! The one who ends up suffering is yourself!

17. 《影响力》一书中提到“互惠原则”，如果对方接受了你的恩惠，对方也不会拒绝你的请求。所以，主动的为对方解决力所能及的问题，可以保持人际关系的活力。

17. The book "Influence" mentions the "Reciprocity Principle," which states that if someone accepts your favor, they are also unlikely to refuse your request. Therefore, taking the initiative to solve problems within your capacity for others can maintain the vitality of interpersonal relationships.

18. 人和人之间，不光得讲感情，还得看实力。你强了，别人才会重视你；你弱了，说再多也没用。努力提升自己，别光想着靠付出换回报，那样太不牢靠了。

18. Between people, it's not just about feelings, but also about strength. If you're strong, others will take you seriously; if you're weak, no amount of talking will do any good. Strive to improve yourself, and don't just think of exchanging rewards for your efforts, because that's not a reliable approach.

19. 强联系是指和你工作、生活都在一起的朋友，通常你们的三观也比较一致。

19. Strong connections refer to friends who are involved in both your work and life, usually with similar worldviews as well.

20. 在一个弱联系的关系网络里，不可能人人都认识。这时候需要一个节点来将大家联系在一起，可能是给社群的发起人，也可能是人脉甚广的人，通过他来带动整个社群的发展。

20. In a network with weak ties, it is impossible for everyone to know each other. At this point, a node is needed to connect everyone together, which could be the founder of the community or someone with a wide network of contacts, who can drive the development of the entire community.

21. 任何一段关系中，在你的付出没有得到足的回报时，你要做的应该是停止付出，及时止埙。

21. In any relationship, when your efforts are not adequately rewarded, what you should do is stop giving, and stop the endeavor in a timely manner.

22. 加入圈子后，如何在圈子里找到自己的角色，为圈子提供自己的价值呢？

22. After joining the circle, how can one find their role within the circle and provide value to it?

23. 在高中的时候我曾在学校报社担任社长一职，刚开始接任的时候我也不是很会处理一些人际方面的事，但是和学姐她们多交流了几次，和社团成员们多相处了几次后，才发现只要你用心与他们沟通，大家真诚对待，尊重彼此就会得到别人的尊重。

23. During my high school years, I held the position of editor-in-chief of the school newspaper. At the beginning of my tenure, I wasn't very skilled at dealing with interpersonal matters. However, after several exchanges with senior sisters and more interactions with club members, I realized that as long as you communicate with them with sincerity and respect each other, you will gain the respect of others.

24. 善良并不意味着无条件地为他人付出，而是要在保护自己的同时，以明智和理性的方式行善。

24. Kindness does not mean unconditionally sacrificing oneself for others, but rather to do good in a wise and rational manner while protecting oneself.

25. 其实，保持人际关系的活力最有效的方式是 持续的产生交互。

25. In fact, the most effective way to maintain the vitality of interpersonal relationships is to continuously generate interaction.

26. 弱联系是指你熟悉的圈子以外认识的人，可能是你朋友的朋友，也或许是你认识没几天的人，通常你们的工作和生活习惯也不同。

26. Weak ties refer to people you know outside of your familiar circles, who could be friends of your friends, or perhaps someone you've known for just a few days. Usually, you have different work and lifestyle habits from them.

27. 在一个圈子里有着不同的角色，明确自己是什么样的角色很重要。一般而言，圈子里成员的角色有四种： 明星、节点、专家、助理。

27. In a circle, there are different roles, and it is important to be clear about what kind of role you are. Generally speaking, the roles of members in the circle can be categorized into four types: Stars, Nodes, Experts, and Assistants.

28. 融洽的人际关系会让我们在一个好的环境中成长，在初中和高中我都有玩的很好的几个姐妹和哥们，我觉得这就是缘分吧，和他们相处就是很真诚很温馨的感觉，无论有什么开心的事或时烦恼的事都可以向他们倾诉，而他们则会在你失意的时候给你安慰和鼓励，在你成功的时候为你开心和祝福，这种友谊会让我觉得人生很有意义。

28. Harmonious interpersonal relationships allow us to grow in a good environment. In junior high and high school, I had several close sisters and brothers with whom I got along well. I think this is destiny, and interacting with them is a feeling of sincerity and warmth. Whether it's something joyful or something troubling, I can pour my heart out to them. And when I'm down, they will comfort and encourage me; when I succeed, they will be happy for me and offer blessings. This kind of friendship makes me feel that life is very meaningful.

29. 以上所讲的拓展人脉的方法都是自己主动去寻找能帮助自己的人，还有一种拓展人脉的方式是让别热你主动来找你，最有效的方式就是打造个人品牌。

29. The methods mentioned above for expanding one's network are all about actively seeking people who can help oneself. There is also another way to expand one's network, which is to let others come to you proactively. The most effective way is to build a personal brand.

30. 以上不管什么方法，首先要做的就是拓展自己的人脉圈子。根据你目的地不同，可将目的分为长期目的和短期目的。长期目的比如说你想要跳槽，从制造业转行到互联网行业，需要将来长期在互联网行业发展。短期目的是你目前可能需要急切解决的问题，比如要找人合作开发一门课程。目的不同，拓展人脉的方法也不同。

30. Regardless of the method, the first thing to do is to expand your network. Depending on your destination, you can divide the goals into long-term goals and short-term goals. For long-term goals, for example, if you want to change jobs and switch from the manufacturing industry to the internet industry, you will need to develop in the internet industry in the long run. Short-term goals are the urgent issues you may need to solve at present, such as finding someone to collaborate on developing a course. Different goals require different methods to expand your network.

31. 在一段关系中，彼此没有平等的付出，便不会被珍惜，单方面的付出并不能换来真正的友情，任何关系需要双方的共同维护，而不是一个人的独角戏。任何健康的关系都应建立在相互的基础上。

31. In a relationship, if there is no equal contribution from both parties, it will not be cherished. Unilateral contribution cannot bring about true friendship. Any relationship requires the joint maintenance of both parties, not a solo performance by one person. Any healthy relationship should be built on a mutual basis.

32. 马克教授通过研究发现，弱联系比强联系更能够给我们带来帮助，给我们带来新的机会。因为处在强联系的圈子里，你们的所见所闻基本都一致，分享的信息也都基本一致。而处在弱联系的人往往和你接触到的信息不一致，他们更有可能更为你带来有价值的信息。

32. Professor Mark's research has found that weak ties are more helpful to us and bring us new opportunities. Because when you are in a circle of strong ties, the things you see and hear are basically consistent, and the information you share is also basically consistent. However, people with weak ties often bring you information that is inconsistent with what you come across, and they are more likely to bring you valuable information.

33. 明星是指在圈子里比较容易说服他人，有一定影响力和人格魅力的人，这类人可能不一定具有专业的知识背景。有时专家的意见可能过于晦涩难懂，这时可以通过明星来转述专家的意见。

33. A celebrity is someone who is relatively easy to persuade others in the circle, has a certain influence and personal charm, and such individuals may not necessarily have a professional knowledge background. Sometimes, the opinions of experts may be too obscure and difficult to understand, and in such cases, celebrities can be used to convey the experts' opinions.

34. 最后一种方式是成为节点，比如介绍你的圈子内不同朋友相互认识，这样你就成为了圈子的节点，也更有影响力。更重要的是，你介绍朋友相互认识，他也会介绍自己的朋友给你认识，无形中又拓展了自己的人脉圈。

34. The last way is to become a node, such as introducing different friends within your circle to each other, making you a node of the circle and giving you more influence. More importantly, when you introduce your friends to each other, they will also introduce their friends to you, which inadvertently expands your own network.

35. “皇冠综合征” 比较信奉“人脉不重要，重要的是你的能力”，认为“是金子总会发光的”、“酒香不怕巷子深”。我们在学校里被教育为人要谦逊低调，所以很少主动宣传自己，等着别人来发现自己。但在如今社会，主动宣传自己才是提升自己影响力和知名度的有效方式，等待别人来发现自己无异于守株待兔。

35. "Crown syndrome" holds the belief that "networks are not important, what matters is your ability," and believes that "as gold, it will always shine" and "the fragrance of wine is not afraid of deep alleys." We are educated in school to be modest and low-key, so we rarely actively promote ourselves, waiting for others to discover us. However, in today's society, actively promoting oneself is an effective way to enhance one's influence and popularity, while waiting for others to discover you is akin to waiting for a rabbit to come to the tree.

36. 心理学上有一个“登门槛效应”，说的是如果你想让别人帮你一个大忙，可以先让他帮自己一个小忙。这可以让对方在心理上觉得“我是个好人”，所以日后再让别人帮忙时也会更容易。

36. In psychology, there is a concept called the "foot-in-the-door effect," which suggests that if you want someone to help you with a big favor, you can first ask them to help you with a small favor. This makes the other person feel psychologically like "I am a good person," so it will be easier for them to help you in the future when you ask for another favor.

37. 个人品牌就是别人一想到某个词汇，第一时间就能想到你。比如提到知识付费，你就会想到罗振宇；说到碳酸饮料，你就会想到可口可乐。

37. Personal brand is when others think of a certain word, they can immediately think of you first. For example, when mentioning knowledge payment, you would think of Luo Zhenyu; when talking about carbonated beverages, you would think of Coca-Cola.

38. 打造个人品牌也一样，也有需要有稳定的输出。如果抱着三天打鱼，两天晒网的心态，那是无法打造自己的个人品牌的。

38. Just like building a personal brand, there is a need for consistent output. If you approach it with the mindset of "fishing for three days and drying the net for two," you will not be able to build your own personal brand.

39. 没有力量的善良，是无效的；没有原则的付出，只会让你失去尊重。你必须学会在关系中保持自我，不盲目妥协，勇敢地表达自己的需求，才能建立真正健康、平等的关系。

39. Goodness without power is ineffective; dedication without principles will only make you lose respect. You must learn to maintain your self in relationships, not to compromise blindly, and courageously express your own needs in order to establish truly healthy and equal relationships.

40. 最后也是最重要的一点，要有持续输出的能力，要能保证有一定频率的输出。品牌这个东西就是需要不断强化的，才能更加深别人的记忆。比如我说“今年过节不收礼”，你肯定会想到脑白金；我说“哪里不会点哪里”，你肯定会想到步步高点读机。这些广告就是靠不断输出，强化了你的记忆。

才能保证有一定频率的 output。 Brands need to be constantly reinforced in order to deepen others' memories. For example, when I say "Don't give gifts during the holiday this year," you will definitely think of Natto Gold; when I say "Click on the part you don't understand," you will definitely think of the步步高 (Bebao) reading machine. These advertisements are based on continuous output, reinforcing your memory.

41. 可最终的结果往往是：他们发现自己越是付出，反而越不被珍视，越是付出，对方越是挑剔，越是付出，对方越变本加厉！

41. The ultimate result is often that the more they give, the less they are valued; the more they give, the more the other party is picky; the more they give, the more the other party becomes worse!

42. 另外，输出时要保证你输出的内容主题要一致。以写作为例，比如你今天写干货文，明天写情感鸡汤文，后天又写励志文，这样的话很难让人对你有很深的印象。保持统一主题的输出才是打造品牌的有效输出。

42. Additionally, when outputting, ensure that the topics of your output are consistent. Taking writing as an example, if you write content articles today, emotional comfort articles tomorrow, and motivational articles the day after, it will be difficult for people to have a deep impression of you. Maintaining a unified theme in your output is the effective way to build a brand.

43. 澄清需求是指在寻求别人帮助之前，首先要弄清楚自己究竟需要什么，问的越深入，越清楚自己的核心需求。有的人喜欢问一些很宏大的问题，比如怎么实现财富自由和人生目标。你换位思考一下，如果别人这么问你，你会怎么回答？是不是觉得他异想天开呢？所以，在寻求帮助前弄清楚自己的核心需求很重要。可以通过以下两个问题来问自己：（

43. Clarifying needs refers to the first step of understanding exactly what you need before seeking help from others. The more deeply you ask, the clearer your core needs become. Some people like to ask very grand questions, such as how to achieve financial freedom and life goals. Put yourself in the other person's shoes for a moment. If someone asked you like that, how would you answer? Do you think they're unrealistic? Therefore, it's important to clarify your core needs before seeking help. You can ask yourself the following two questions:

44. 表明来意就是你的核心需求，你需要对方做什么，语气当然要委婉。

44. Expressing your purpose is your core need, stating what you need the other party to do, of course with a polite tone.

45. 名片囤积狂 就是相信“得人脉者的天下”的群体，整天出席各种社交活动，积攒大佬的名片，加各种微信好友，以为自己这样就能认识很多人。然后呢？当你真正需要帮助的时候，是否有牛人来帮助你？大多数情况是没有的，你只是囤积了一大堆大佬的名片，而真正能帮助自己的却极少。

45. Collectors of business cards are those who believe in the mantra "He who has connections, has the world." They spend their days attending various social events, accumulating VIPs' business cards, adding friends on WeChat, thinking that this way they will get to know many people. But then what? When you truly need help, will the bigwigs come to your aid? Most of the time, they don't. You have just amassed a pile of VIPs' business cards, but the ones who can actually help you are very few.

46. 通过学习了如何构建和谐人际关系之后，我对这方面也了解到了很多，也学习到了很多东西。我觉得在我们当今社会和谐的人际关系是我们人与人在交往过程中必须学会的，可以说，人际关系构成了我们生活的主要内容，我们是在复杂的人际关系中不断成长与发展的，人际关系的成败对我们的影响是非常大的。

46. After learning how to build harmonious interpersonal relationships, I have gained a lot of knowledge and learned a lot about this aspect. I believe that in our contemporary society, harmonious interpersonal relationships are something that we must learn in our interactions with others. It can be said that interpersonal relationships constitute the main content of our lives, and we grow and develop amidst complex interpersonal relationships. The success or failure of interpersonal relationships has a significant impact on us.

47. 接下来就是挑选能够接触目标受众的渠道。以上面例子为例，你可以在微博、、知乎等平台分享自己的经历，或者回答相关问题，逐步在美食领域树立自己的专业水准，慢慢积累自己的影响力。

47. The next step is to select channels that can reach the target audience. Taking the above examples, you can share your experiences on platforms like Weibo, Zhihu, and gradually establish your professional standards in the culinary field by answering related questions, slowly accumulating your influence.

48. 了解对方是说通过前期调研，了解对方的背景资料和最近动态，这样在发送邮件或验证短信时更有针对性。

48. Understanding the other party means gaining an understanding of their background information and recent developments through preliminary research, making the email or verification message more targeted.

49. 定义目的就是澄清自己想要认识什么样的人，以及想从中获得什么价值交换。可以通过问自己两个问题： （

49. Defining the purpose is to clarify the kind of person you want to understand and the value exchange you wish to obtain from it. This can be achieved by asking yourself two questions:

50. 真正决定一段关系走向的，是你是否足够强大，是否拥有能够吸引对方的价值。

50. What truly determines the direction of a relationship is whether you are sufficiently strong and possess the value that can attract the other person.

51. 定位圈子以后，怎么找到可以帮助自己的圈子呢？可以通过 强联系

52. 强联系

53. 还可以参加线上社群来加入圈子。还是以做自媒体为例，如果你想要提升写作能力，那么找到一个好的写作圈可以让你事半功倍。现如今网上各种写作社群很多，找到写作社区不难，难的是要学会分辨社群的优劣。

51. After locating the circle, how can one find circles that can help themselves? One can do so through strong connections. 52. Strong connections. 53. Additionally, one can participate in online communities to join circles. Still taking self-media as an example, if you want to improve your writing skills, finding a good writing circle can make twice the effort with half the work. Nowadays, there are many online writing communities, so it's not difficult to find a writing community. The difficulty lies in learning to distinguish the strengths and weaknesses of communities.

54. 助理是指在圈子里提供服务的人，他们可能没有专业的知识背景，也不容易说服他人，但他们能热心肠的为圈子内的成员服务。比如你参加了写作社群，他们可能会总结写作课程的精华，做成思维导图等，方便大家查阅。

54. An assistant refers to individuals who provide services within a circle. They may not have a professional background or be persuasive, but they are willing to serve the members of the circle with enthusiasm. For example, if you join a writing community, they might summarize the key points of writing courses into mind maps and other materials for easy reference by everyone.

55. 卡耐基说过：“一个人的成功，只有百分之十五是由于他的专业技术，而百分之八十五则要靠人际关系和他的做人处事能力。”和谐的人际关系在我们学习和生活中是很重要的，所以在这个社会群体中我们要善于与他人沟通，在我们的生活和学习中无时无刻不在与他人沟通，而善于沟通的人他的生活圈子就会大一些，交到的朋友也就多一些，这样我们的人生才会因此而变得丰富多彩。

55. Carnegie once said, "Only 15% of one's success is due to their professional skills, while 85% depends on their interpersonal relationships and their ability to deal with people." Harmonious interpersonal relationships are very important in our studies and daily life. Therefore, in this social group, we should be good at communicating with others. In our life and studies, we communicate with others at all times. People who are good at communicating will have a larger social circle and make more friends, making our lives more colorful and rich as a result.

56. 然而，事实往往是残酷的：在这个世界上，强者制定规则，弱者只能被迫跟随。当你处于弱势时，不论你多么努力付出，关系的主导权永远掌握在他人手中，强者即使错的也是对的，弱者即使对的也是错的！

56. However, the truth is often cruel: in this world, the strong make the rules, and the weak can only be forced to follow. When you are in a weak position, no matter how hard you work and put in, the dominant power over the relationship is always in the hands of others. The strong are always right even when they are wrong, and the weak are always wrong even when they are right!

57. 写作思路：做到条理清楚、自然、明白，不杂乱，要倾注自己的思想感情，或探索人生真谛，或谈论思想问题、治学精神，使读者受到启迪和教育。这样的文章有了哲理，给予读者的感受也就更加丰富了。

57. Writing approach: Make sure the content is clear, natural, and lucid, without any confusion. It is essential to infuse your own thoughts and emotions, or delve into the true essence of life, discuss intellectual issues, or talk about the spirit of scholarship, to enlighten and educate the readers. Articles with such characteristics possess philosophical depth and thus offer a richer experience to the readers.

58. 最后需要强调的是，真正有效的社交一定是基于价值交换的，你能够为对方提供什么价值，决定了对方是否愿意花时间成本来与你建立关系。在一场交换当中，首先你得有筹码。其次你的筹码，对方要承认它的价值。每当你想要一样东西时，请你先算算手中的筹码。如果你买不起，你应该选择提升自己的价值，增加筹码，而不是去偷去抢，或者抱怨天道不公。

58. Lastly, it is important to emphasize that truly effective social interaction must be based on value exchange. What value you can offer to the other person determines whether they are willing to invest time and effort in establishing a relationship with you. In an exchange, first, you must have something to offer. Second, the value of your offering must be recognized by the other person. Whenever you desire something, please first calculate the value of what you have in hand. If you cannot afford it, you should choose to enhance your own value, increase your offerings, rather than steal or抢, or complain about the unfairness of the universe.

59. 假设你已经有了一定影响力，人脉圈子也比以往大了很多，那怎么盘活你的人际网络呢？

59. Assuming you already have a certain level of influence and have expanded your network significantly, how can you revitalize your interpersonal network?

60. 根据斯坦福大学教授马克格兰诺维特的研究，我们和别人的关系分为两种： 强联系和弱联系 。

60. According to the research of Professor Mark Granovetter from Stanford University, our relationships with others are divided into two types: strong ties and weak ties.

61. 提起人脉，你最先想到的是什么？是某些鼓吹人脉决定论的人宣扬的的“得人脉者的天下”？还是对人脉嗤之以鼻的人所说的“人脉不重要，重要的是你的能力”？

61. When it comes to networking, what comes to your mind first? Is it the "all-powerful network" advocated by those who propagate the determinism of networking, or the "networking is not important, what matters is your ability" said by those who disdain networking?

62. 对于长期目的来说，可以通过以下三个步骤来拓展人脉。（

62. For long-term purposes, one can expand one's network through the following three steps.

63. 正所谓：“富在深山有远亲，穷在闹市无人问。”你的能力决定了别人对你的态度，不必抱怨人情冷暖和世态炎凉，因为真正的强者并不会在意这些。当你越来越有能力时，自然会有人看得起你，尊重和公平也会随之而来！

63. As the saying goes, "Wealth in the deep mountains has distant relatives, and poverty in the bustling city has no one to ask for help." Your abilities determine others' attitudes towards you. There's no need to complain about the coldness of human nature and the fickleness of the world, because true strength does not care about these things. As you become more capable, people will naturally respect and look up to you, and respect and fairness will follow suit!

64. 莫言说：“告诉你一个残忍的人际关系事实，你和任何人的关系，其实并不取决于你对别人有多好，而是取决于你的强弱，手上筹码的多少！人们普遍对强者比较宽容，而即便弱者没做错什么,也会被苛刻对待。就算你一味忍气吞声，往往也会被看成廉价的讨好。”在人际关系中，真正的权力并不在于你的善良，而在于你的实力。

64. Mo Yan said: "Let me tell you a cruel fact about human relationships: your relationship with anyone is not determined by how good you are to others, but by your strength and the number of chips you have in your hand! People are generally more lenient towards the strong, and even if the weak haven't done anything wrong, they will be treated harshly. Even if you keep silent and endure, you are often seen as a cheap flatterer." In human relationships, true power does not lie in your goodness, but in your strength.

65. 如果是通过知乎或邮箱等私信方式寻求帮助，最好将这是三个方面的内容浓缩至100字以内。而如果是通过微信等加好友的方式，则需要将字数更为精简。

65. If seeking help through private messages on Zhihu or via email, it's best to condense the content into 100 words or less. For methods like adding friends on WeChat, the text should be even more concise.

66. 其实这些都是对人脉的误解，好的人脉可以让我们事半功倍，但前提是你要有足够高的价值，一味地鼓吹和贬低人脉都是片面的。

66. In fact, these are all misunderstandings about connections. Good connections can help us achieve twice the results with half the effort, but the premise is that you must have enough value. Blindly promoting and belittling connections are both one-sided.

67. 首先要明确自己的定位，找到自己的独特标签以及想要吸引的人群。每个人都有自己独特的优势，可能只是你暂时没有发现而已。我们可以通过他人的帮助，比如询问朋友对自己的印象；也可以通过自我优势探寻的方式来确定自己的优势在哪。

67. Firstly, it is important to clarify your own positioning, find your unique tags, and identify the target audience you want to attract. Everyone has their own unique strengths, which may just be temporarily undiscovered by you. We can determine our strengths by seeking help from others, such as asking friends for their impression of us; or by exploring our self-advantages to identify where our strengths lie.

68. 然后看自己能否组合相关资源，形成独特标签。比如你是一个喜欢品尝美食和制作美食的人，正好你喜欢摄影或写字，那么你就可以将这两者组合，分享自己制作美食的过程。然后逐步扩大自己的影响力，打造一个“爱摄影的美食家”的标签。

68. Then consider whether you can combine related resources to form a unique label. For example, if you are someone who enjoys tasting and making delicious food, and also happens to like photography or writing, you can combine these two hobbies to share your process of making food. Then gradually expand your influence and create a label such as "a foodie who loves photography."