1. 世上最重要的事，不在于我们在何处，而在于我们朝着什么方向走。

1. The most important thing in the world is not where we are, but in which direction we are heading.

2. 按照爱因斯坦的相对论，周末时光飞逝，周一到周五度日如年

2. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, time flies during the weekend, and from Monday to Friday, each day drags on like an eternity.

3. 人生就像一场漫长的旅途，既短暂，又漫长，很显然，一个人的旅程会很孤单，一个人的风景也很单调。寂寞的路上，总需要有同行的人。能够遇见就是缘分。

3. Life is like a long journey, both brief and lengthy. It is obvious that one's journey can be lonely, and the scenery one encounters can also be monotonous. On the path of solitude, there is always a need for companions. To meet someone is a matter of destiny.

4. 人生的道路上，你没有耐心去等待成功，那么你只有用一生去面对失败。

4. On the path of life, if you do not have the patience to wait for success, then you will have to face failure throughout your life.

5. 没有人因水的平淡而厌倦饮水，所以也不要因生活的平淡而摒弃生活。

5. No one grows tired of drinking water because of its plainness, so do not discard life because of its simplicity.

6. 老男人没有事业选择出家老女人；失去幸福希望改嫁。

6. Old men choose to become monks without a career, while old women, having lost hope of happiness, remarry.

7. 愁海无边，笑便是岸。人生辛苦，笑便是甜。事业艰难，笑便是帆。学海无涯，笑便是船。

7. The sea of sorrow is boundless, and laughter is the shore. Life is hard, and laughter is sweet. Career challenges, laughter is the sail. The ocean of learning is endless, and laughter is the boat.

8. 有些事，我们明知道是错的，也要去坚持，因为不甘心；有些人，我们明知道是爱的，也要去放弃，因为没结局；有时候，我们明知道没路了，却还在前行，因为习惯了。

8. There are some things that we know are wrong, but we still insist on them because we are not willing to give up; there are some people that we know we love, but we still have to let them go because there is no ending; sometimes, we know there is no way forward, yet we still continue to move forward because we are accustomed to it.

9. 吃葡萄不吐葡萄皮，你可能会拉肚子！不吃葡萄到吐葡萄皮，你是魔术师！

9. If you eat grapes without spitting out the skins, you might get diarrhea! If you don't eat grapes until you spit out the skins, you're a magician!

10. 学会适应，让你的环境变得明亮；学会调节，让你的心情不再忧伤；学会宽容，让你的生活没有麻烦；学会奉献，让你的生活充满阳光。

10. Learn to adapt and make your environment bright; learn to adjust and let your mood no longer be sad; learn to be宽容 and let your life be free of troubles; learn to be dedicated and let your life be filled with sunshine.

11. 人的一生就是习惯去习惯那些不习惯的习惯。

11. A person's life is about getting used to getting used to habits that are not accustomed to.

12. 有时候你需要退开一点，放空一下。然后提醒自己，我是谁，要去哪里。

12. Sometimes you need to step back a bit, clear your mind. Then remind yourself, who am I, where do I want to go.

13. 痛苦的秘密在于有闲工夫，为自己是否幸福而烦恼。

13. The secret of pain lies in having spare time to worry about whether one is happy.

14. 骗子是这个世界上对你最真心的人，不过他是为了骗你。

14. The swindler is the most sincere person to you in this world, but he is doing so to deceive you.

15. 生活，是一本书，每一页都是一个新的故事。回首，是温习往日的甘苦，激发明日的斗志，不是为了守定一份成功，得意洋洋唱老调；也不是囿于一份失败，忧心忡忡马不前。

15. Life is a book, each page a new story. Looking back is to review the sweetness and bitterness of the past, to ignite the spirit for tomorrow, not to cling to a certain success and proudly sing the old tune; nor to be confined by a certain failure, worrying and hesitating to move forward.

16. 小时候，你们有没有玩过一个纸折东南西北的游戏。

16. When you were little, did you ever play a paper-folding game of East, South, West, North?

17. 时钟可以随时停止，时间却永远在走。

17. The clock can stop at any time, but time always moves on.

18. 良好的师德风范必须“心中有学生”“有学生立场”。

18. Good teacher ethics must have "students in mind" and take "the students' standpoint."

19. 我本人是一个很节约的人，我拉屎从来不用纸，吃饭从来不用筷子，而且没有洗过手！

19. I myself am a very thrifty person. I never use toilet paper, never use chopsticks to eat, and have never washed my hands!

20. 每当我找到成功的钥匙，就有人把锁给换了。

20. Every time I find the key to success, someone else has changed the lock.

21. 有人问我凤姐和如花掉进水里，我有砖头会砸谁。我回答：谁救人，就砸谁！

21. Someone asked me, "If Feng Jie and Ru Hua fall into the water and I have a brick, who would I砸 (throw the brick at)?" I replied: "I would砸 (throw the brick at) whoever saves them!"

22. 我女友不当尼姑的原因是她四级没过，庵里不收。

22. The reason why my girlfriend doesn't become a nun is that she failed her college entrance examination, and the nunnery doesn't accept her.

23. 你的脸蛋，就像一枚剥了壳的鸡蛋。你是说白皙紧致吗？不，我说的是气味······

23. Your face, like a peeled egg. Do you mean fair and taut? No, what I mean is the scent······

24. 多讲点笑话，以幽默的态度处事，这样子日子会好过一点。

24. Tell more jokes and deal with things in a humorous manner; in this way, life will be a bit more bearable.

25. 考试：开卷和闭卷的不同就在于，一个在上面抄，一个在下面抄。

25. Examination: The difference between open-book and closed-book exams is that one is copying from above, and the other is copying from below.

26. 生活就像拙劣的音乐----时而不靠谱，时而不着调

26. Life is like clumsy music -- sometimes out of tune, sometimes out of key.

27. 当我们身边出现第一个再次讲起笑话的人，那一刻，这个城市就将慢慢地再度站起。

27. When the first person around us starts telling jokes again, that moment, this city will slowly begin to stand up once more.

28. 向上爬时，对遇到的人好点，因为掉下来时，你还会遇到他们。

28. Be nice to the people you meet while climbing up, because you will meet them again when you fall down.

29. 当时间和耐心都已变成奢侈，我们只能靠星座了解彼此

29. When time and patience have become a luxury, we can only get to know each other through the zodiac signs.

30. 所有人都说我不需要减肥了丶为什么我还是想瘦一点。

30. Everyone says I don't need to lose weight anymore, but why do I still want to be a bit thinner?

31. 我做过很多愚蠢的事情，但是我毫不在乎，我的朋友把它叫做自信。

31. I have done many foolish things, but I don't care at all; my friends call it confidence.

32. 喜欢一个人，就是在一起很开心；爱一个人，就是即使不开心，也想在一起。

32. Liking someone is about enjoying time together; loving someone is about wanting to be together even when not happy.

33. 如果我的玩笑刺疼了你，很对不起，我以为我们很熟。

33. If my joke hurt you, I'm very sorry, I thought we were close.

34. 长的漂亮就是烦，我要是男生早就娶自己了。

34. Being pretty is such a hassle; if I were a guy, I would have married myself a long time ago.

35. 不要活在过去的阴影里，把每天当作人生的新一天，生活才会多彩多姿。

35. Do not live in the shadow of the past; treat every day as a new day in life, and life will be colorful and diverse.

36. 女人的胸小不叫平胸，那叫华丽的平行线，你懂不懂。

36. A small bust on a woman is not called flat chest; it's called elegant parallel lines, do you understand?

37. 花儿是春天的诺言，潮汛是大海的诺言，远方是道路的诺言。世界因为信守诺言，肃穆而深情。

37. Flowers are the promise of spring, tides are the promise of the sea, and the distant lands are the promise of the path. The world is solemn and profound because it keeps its promises.

38. 真心的对别人产生点兴趣，是推销员最重要的品格。

38. Showing sincere interest in others is the most important character trait for a salesman.

39. 智慧的代价是矛盾。这是人生对人生观开的玩笑。

39. The price of wisdom is contradiction. This is a joke that life plays on the view of life.