“最终，还是活成了自己讨厌的样子（最终，还是活成了自己讨厌的样子英文）——这是一个关于自我认知与成长的篇章。”

"Finally, I've ended up being the person I dislike—the story of self-awareness and growth."

1. 从小到大，身边人的做法，常常会让我觉得难以接受，我努力的告诉自己，我不要像他们一样，成为他们那样让人讨厌的人，但我发现有些事可以改变，可有些事却如出一辙，改变不了，即使我知道自己就像曾经讨厌的人一样做着同样的事，也许这就是现实的无奈吧！

1. From a young age, the actions of those around me often felt unacceptable to me. I try to tell myself that I don't want to be like them, to become the kind of person that people dislike. However, I've found that some things can be changed, but others are identical and unchangeable. Even though I know that I am doing the same things as the people I once disliked, perhaps this is the helplessness of reality!

2. 人活在世上真的很不容易，你要经历无数的喜怒哀乐和变化无常。随着年岁日长，年少时曾经的纯真率直会被生活打磨得无影无踪。你慢慢地学会了圆滑世故和曲意逢迎，你渐渐意识到实话实说不仅会让自己尴尬，也会让别人难堪。你还知道了，你所谓的一片好心别人并不一定认可，你以为的事情别人会有其它的想法。

2. It's really not easy to live in this world. You have to experience countless joys and sorrows, as well as the ever-changing nature of life. As you grow older, the innocence and straightforwardness of your youth will be ground away by life. You slowly learn to be smooth and accommodating, and you gradually realize that being honest can not only make yourself embarrassed but also make others uncomfortable. You also learn that the so-called good intentions you have may not be recognized by others, and that what you think others may have different ideas about.

3. 生活成了我之前最讨厌的样子，没有惊喜，没有希望。

3. Life has become the way I used to hate the most, without surprises, without hope.

4. 我开始对这份工作着迷，并以我最讨厌的方式生活。可怕却又不快乐的彼此，那种被掌控的感觉让人上瘾。

4. I became obsessed with this job and lived in the most讨厌 way. The terrifying yet unhappy coexistence, the feeling of being controlled was addictive.

5. 为什么我们要活出自己最讨厌的样子？我以为我长大后会成为黄蓉，但我活成了李莫愁。

5. Why do we have to live out the worst traits we dislike about ourselves? I thought I would grow up to be like Huang Rong, but instead, I've become like Li Mochou.

6. 爱回忆过去的人现在可能不开心，这一年成了我最讨厌的那种人。

6. People who love to recall the past may not be happy now, as this year has turned me into the kind of person I dislike the most.

7. 最后我们都变成了曾经最讨厌的样子。

7. In the end, we all turned into the very people we once disliked the most.

8. 我变成了我最讨厌的样子。当我还是个孩子的时候，我想我长大后要成为令狐冲。我现在怎样才能成为岳不群？

8. I have become the very person I detest the most. When I was a child, I thought I would grow up to be like Liu Hui Chu. Now, how can I become like Yue Buqun?

9. 本浑身是血，却成了他最讨厌的样子，既可笑又可悲。回头看，没有回头路。这个时候，我们只能尽力去改变自己的错误，改变自己讨厌的自己。

9. Covered in blood, he had become the very image he detested, both comical and pitiful. Looking back, there is no turning back. At this moment, we can only try our best to correct our mistakes and change the part of ourselves we dislike.

10. 有一个说法特别触动我：“你认为变成你讨厌的那个人是一件坏事，其实是因为年轻的你对未来的恐惧。”我也承认，是的，我害怕，我恐惧，我不知道未来的我会变成样子，会不会真的变成我讨厌的人的样子。虽然不知道以后会变成什么样子，但是回首短短的19年的人生经历，我依然讨厌着我从前讨厌的人。比如说，我小时候讨厌在公众场合吸烟的人，我现在依然讨厌。所以其实一些明确的价值判断的，明确的是非观的东西，我认为是不会因为你是否给自己找借口而变化的。所以罗振宇老师所说的：“成长就是主观世界与客观世界之间的那条沟，你摔倒了，那叫挫折，你爬起来了那叫成长。”但是主观世界不仅仅是你对善恶美丑是非荣辱的知道，而是一种认识、判断，如果那个是正确的，那是任环境如何变化都不会改变的（我希望自己不会改变）。如果那些我曾经认为是错的东西，未来有一天我去做了，那么可能我就不满意自己了，也就是说，变成这样的自己曾经讨厌的人，就是一件坏事。

10. There is a saying that particularly touched me: "You think becoming the person you dislike is a bad thing, but actually, it's because the young you are afraid of the future." I also admit, yes, I am afraid, I am fearful, I don't know what the future me will look like, and whether I will truly become the person I dislike. Although I don't know what I will become in the future, looking back at the short 19 years of my life experience, I still dislike the people I disliked before. For example, when I was little, I disliked people who smoked in public places, and I still dislike them now. So, in fact, some clear value judgments and clear concepts of right and wrong, I believe, will not change because of whether you make excuses for yourself. So, as Teacher Luo Zhenyu said, "Growth is the gap between the subjective world and the objective world. If you fall, that's called a setback; if you get up, that's called growth." However, the subjective world is not just knowing good and evil, beauty and ugliness, right and wrong, honor and disgrace. It is a kind of understanding and judgment. If that is correct, it will not change regardless of how the environment changes (I hope I won't change). If there are things I once thought were wrong, and one day in the future I do them, then I may not be satisfied with myself, which means, becoming such a person who used to be disliked by me is a bad thing.

11. 一直以为自己可以做一个很酷的人，没想到却活成了自己最讨厌的样子。

11. I always thought I could be a cool person, but I never expected to end up being the very person I detest.

12. 但我觉得再怎么讨厌，有些不能忍受的地方自己还是会规避的，会自发性地去避免，而且不论怎么变化，你还是你，成长的本质不是向好的，成长的本质，是变得复杂！

12. But I feel that no matter how much I dislike something, there are still some things that I can't tolerate and will naturally avoid them. No matter how much things change, you are still you. The essence of growth is not to become better, but to become more complex!

13. 也许我们更害怕的是，和曾经最讨厌的东西相比，我们根本找不到自己。

13. Perhaps what we fear more is that, compared to what we used to hate the most, we can't find ourselves at all.

14. 曾经看过一个提问：什么时候你觉得父母已经老了？是看到父母两鬓斑白的时候，是在买东西时询问你意见的时候，还是家里有什么事都和你商量的时候……谁都说不出答案，但好像就是这个时候。

14. I once saw a question asked: When do you feel that your parents have grown old? Is it when you see their hair turning gray, when they ask for your opinion while shopping, or when they discuss everything at home with you... No one can give a definite answer, but it seems like it's at this moment.

15. 小时候总是盼望着长大，看着自己的衣服渐渐变小，读的年级越来越高，学会的本领也越来越多，心里有说不出的高兴，长大的感觉真好。长大了可以自己赚钱，买自己喜欢的东西，再也不用攒好久的零花钱去买一本喜欢的漫画，可以吃任何自己想吃的东西。但是当你走出校门，参加工作的时候才渐渐发现，小时候真好。小时候可以无忧无虑，衣来伸手，饭来张口，不用为了柴米油盐而发愁，不用为了棘手的工作而有压力，更不用为了讨好谁而改变自己。

15. When I was a child, I always looked forward to growing up. Watching my clothes get smaller, advancing to higher grades, and learning more skills gave me an indescribable joy; it felt so good to grow up. Once grown up, I could earn my own money, buy what I liked, and no longer needed to save up for a long time to buy a favorite comic book. I could eat anything I wanted. However, it was only when I left school and started working that I gradually realized how good it was to be a child. As a child, I could live carefree, with clothes handed to me and meals served to me, without worrying about the daily necessities like coal, rice, oil, and salt, without the pressure of dealing with difficult work, and certainly without having to change myself to please others.

16. 太多人最后变成自己最讨厌的样子。看起来他们很忙，其实里面空虚的生活早就没有惊喜和期待了。

16. Too many people end up becoming the very person they detest. They may seem busy on the outside, but inside, the hollow life they lead has long lost any sense of surprise and anticipation.

17. 首先应该谈的是，什么叫做活成了自己讨厌的人。在我看来，不是你活成了别人，而是说，那些你曾经很讨厌的东西，你曾经信誓旦旦地说“我以后一定不会变成这样的人”，但是当你进入了另一个人生阶段中，你发现，那些东西可以被接收了，也许不经意间，在别人看来你就是那个曾经你讨厌的人。

17. The first thing that should be discussed is what it means to have become the person you dislike. In my opinion, it's not that you have become someone else, but rather that those things you once disliked, things you used to solemnly declare, "I will never become such a person," but as you enter another phase of life, you find that these things are now acceptable to you. Perhaps without realizing it, in others' eyes, you have become the person you once disliked.

18. 从一开始讨厌其他人的样子，到自己慢慢变成其中一员，不知道是喜是悲，因为书本上教的有的时候并不能让我们在复杂的社会中生存，然后当自己经历过他们所经历的一切，和他有同样的选择后，最终也就变成了我们讨厌的人。

18. From the beginning, I disliked the appearance of others, and gradually became one of them myself. I'm not sure whether to be happy or sad, because what we learn from books doesn't always help us survive in the complex society. Then, after experiencing everything they have gone through and making the same choices as them, we ultimately become the very people we disliked.

19. 不要抱怨，停止抱怨。清除你自己！试着放下，而不是原谅，真的容易多了。最后，我变成了我最讨厌的样子。

19. Don't complain, stop complaining. Clean yourself up! Try to let go instead of forgive, it's really much easier. In the end, I turned into the worst person I disliked.

20. 人际关系是个很复杂的问题，真诚待人并不见得一定会收获友情。人与人之间有太多的利益纠葛，有时候你都不知道怎么得罪了某个人。于是你变得越来越小心，说话时也越来越讲究，拐个弯，造个词，或者干脆撒个谎。而这些，曾经都是你极度厌恶的。

20. Interpersonal relationships are a very complex issue, and being sincere does not necessarily guarantee friendship. There are too many entanglements of interests between people, and sometimes you don't even know how you have offended someone. So you become increasingly cautious, and your speech becomes more careful, you twist your words, coin new terms, or even resort to lying. And these were once things you strongly disliked.

21. 看到一篇文章，说是奇葩说有一期的辩题是“我们最后都会变成自己讨厌的人，是不是一件坏事？”马东说不是，“活字是三点水旁的，只要你还活着，你就还会变化；就会变成讨厌的的人。”罗振宇也说不是，“成长，无事生非。”“成长，就是你的主观世界遇到客观世界之间的那条沟，你掉进去了叫挫折，爬出来了，叫成长”。

21. I read an article that said in one episode of "The Odd Ones," the debate topic was "Whether it's a bad thing that we will all turn into the people we dislike in the end?" Ma Dong said it's not, "The character 'huózì' has the three-water radical, as long as you are still alive, you will still change; and you will become someone you dislike." Luo Zhenyu also said it's not, "Growth, creating trouble out of nothing." "Growth is the gap between your subjective world and the objective world. If you fall into it, it's called a setback; if you climb out of it, it's called growth."

22. 经历了最艰难的时候，忘记了当初的梦想，渐渐变成了最讨厌的自己。

22. Having gone through the toughest times, I forgot the dreams I once had and gradually became the most disliked version of myself.

23. 到了这个年纪，我终于变成了我最讨厌的样子。

23. At this age, I have finally become the person I hate the most.

24. 我认为不是的。至少，对于自己来说，这不是一件坏事。

24. I don't think so. At least, for myself, it's not a bad thing.

25. 我不喜欢争吵，喜欢坐下来，慢慢谈，和平解决问题，可有的时候你自己一个人这样想，其他人不会，总是会有人可以挑起你的脾气，让你开始激动，激动的同时潜意识还总是告诫自己冷静冷静，来回徘徊，真的挺难受的！熟悉我的人说我的脾气变了许多，殊不知当下我自己一个人的时候是怎么过来的！

25. I don't like arguments; I prefer to sit down and talk slowly, to peacefully resolve issues. But sometimes, even when you yourself think this way, others don't, and there will always be someone who can provoke your temper, making you start to get excited. While excited, your subconscious mind always reminds you to stay calm, and you are caught in a dilemma. It really is quite uncomfortable! People who know me well say that my temper has changed a lot, but they don't know how I get through when I'm all alone!

26. 我终于成了我最讨厌的人，但我还是要坚强。

26. I have finally become the person I hate the most, but I still have to be strong.

27. 时间真的很逗！不知不觉，时光飞逝，时代变迁，我变成了曾经最讨厌的人！

27. Time is really amusing! Unconsciously, time flies by, and the times change, and I have become the very person I once disliked the most!

28. 还有一种讨厌的可能是，我曾经认为自己接受不了的事情，所以我讨厌它，但是我现在接受了，那我是不是就变成我讨厌的人呢，这是不是一件坏事呢？在这个角度来讲，我认为不是的。就像很多人所说的“长大了，你会更加认识自己，会更加包容别人”“我们想生活妥协是为了我们能得到我们想要的东西”“小时候的讨厌不是长大以后讨厌的标准”，也许这就是就是长大了，宽容、理解、妥协在我看来，这都是长大的近义词。成长的本质是改变，原来你狂热的，现在你不喜欢了，原来你所讨厌的，现在你可以接受了。我曾经接受不了我变得平凡，现在我接受了，也许有人说“你被生活的苟且浇灭了你梦想的火花，你只是在为你的无力感找一个心安理得的借口！只有坚持自我的人才会变得与众不同！”但是人总是要生活下去的啊。我还年轻，我也有梦想，我有想要颠覆的东西，我知道这个目标很难，我也不想沦为平庸，但是我希望无论最后我有没有实现现在的雄心壮志，我都能无怨无悔的说：“我改变了，但这不是一件坏事，我很满意此时此刻的我自己。”

28. There is another讨厌 possibility that I used to think I couldn't handle, so I disliked it, but now I have accepted it. Does that make me into the person I dislike, is that a bad thing? From this perspective, I don't think so. As many people say, "As you grow up, you will get to know yourself better and be more tolerant of others," "We compromise with life to get what we want," "The dislikes in childhood are not the standard for dislikes in adulthood." Perhaps this is what growing up means, tolerance, understanding, and compromise, all of which I consider synonyms for growing up. The essence of growth is change. What you were passionate about before, you may not like now; what you disliked before, you may be able to accept now. I used to be unable to accept my own ordinariness, but now I have accepted it. Some people might say, "Your dreams' spark has been extinguished by the trivialities of life, and you are just finding a convenient excuse for your powerlessness! Only those who persist in themselves become different!" But people always have to go on living, don't they? I'm still young, I also have dreams, and I have things I want to subvert. I know that this goal is difficult, and I don't want to be ordinary. However, I hope that whether I achieve my current ambitions or not, I can say without any regret: "I have changed, and this is not a bad thing; I am very satisfied with myself at this moment."

29. 人生最可怕的事，是你变成了你最讨厌的人。

29. The scariest thing in life is that you become the person you hate the most.

30. 活着成了我最讨厌的样子。这么久了，不知道为什么！这颗懦弱的心。

30. Living has become the worst version of myself that I detest. For so long, I don't know why! This weak heart.

31. 人终究会活成自己讨厌的样子。感觉我也在一步步地滑落，不知道哪天我会不会也变成一个阿腴奉承，不分是非，谎话乱飞的人。

31. People will eventually become the person they dislike. I feel like I am slipping step by step, and I don't know if I will also become someone who flatters others, ignores right from wrong, and lies recklessly some day.

32. 失去了初心的人，最后变成了自己最讨厌的样子，还以教育后人为荣。

32. People who have lost their original intention eventually become the kind of person they dislike the most, and even take pride in educating future generations in this way.

33. 我们都会说不真诚的话，做不喜欢的事，用尽力气，最后活出自己最讨厌的样子，还要对每个人微笑。

33. We all say insincere words, do things we don't like, exert ourselves to the fullest, and end up living out the most disliked version of ourselves, all the while smiling at everyone.

34. 大多数人活成了自己最讨厌的样子。但我不一样，努力做最好最好的自己。

34. Most people end up being the kind of person they hate the most. But I am different; I strive to be the best version of myself.

35. 小时候的我们总是对喜欢的人笑脸相迎，长大后的我们总是对不喜欢的人溜须拍马；小时候的我们总是好好学习就可以得到自己想要的玩具，长大后我们的努力可能在别人看来一文不值；小时候的我们在大街上笑着闹着和朋友玩不愿回家，长大后的我们和朋友出去除了吃饭逛街不知道干啥。这就是我们小时候盼望的长大吗？

35. When we were little, we always greeted our favorites with a smile; as we grew up, we often flatter those we don't like. When we were little, if we studied hard, we could get the toys we wanted; as adults, our efforts may seem worthless to others. When we were little, we played and laughed on the streets with friends, reluctant to go home; as adults, when we go out with friends, aside from eating and shopping, we often don't know what to do. Is this what we were looking forward to when we wished to grow up?

36. 我终于变成了曾经讨厌的样子，对自己许下的承诺一个个被打破。

36. Finally, I have become the person I once disliked, and the promises I made to myself have been broken one by one.

37. 你是否和我小时候一样，讨厌虚伪？讨厌自私？讨厌没有上进心？讨厌当面一套 背后一套？长大后，生活把我们逼成了小时候讨厌的人。

37. Are you like I was when I was little, disgusted with hypocrisy? Disgusted with selfishness? Disgusted with a lack of ambition? Disgusted with being one way in public and another behind closed doors? As we grow older, life forces us to become the very people we disliked when we were young.