1. 命运负责洗牌，但是玩牌的是我们自己。

1. Fate is responsible for shuffling the cards, but it is us who play the game.

2. 3工作的最高境界就是看着别人上班，领着别人的工资。

2. The highest level of work is to watch others work and receive others' salaries.

3. 我小学十年，中学十二年，我被评为全校最熟悉的面孔，新老师来了都跟我打听学校内幕……

3. I attended elementary school for ten years and junior high school for twelve years. I was recognized as the most familiar face across the entire school, and new teachers would always inquire about the school's inside information from me...

4. 62有一个很古老的 传说 --能在XX校园里看到美女的人会长生不老

4. There is a very old legend -- anyone who sees a beautiful woman on XX campus will live forever.

5. 作为一个怪兽，我的愿望是至少消灭一个奥特曼。

5. As a monster, my wish is to at least defeat one Ultraman.

6. 5没有你的生活如同行尸走肉般，一根烟，一杯酒，就这么无所谓下去。

6.5 Life without you is like a zombie, just smoking a cigarette, sipping a drink, going on without a care.

7. 48怀才就像怀孕，时间久了才能让人看出来。

7. Possessing talent is like being pregnant; it takes time before people can tell.

8. 我们的目标：向钱看，向厚赚。

8. Our goal: Focus on wealth, aim for substantial profits.

9. 27中国人谁跑的最快是曹操(非刘翔)。因为说曹操曹操到

9. Among the 27 Chinese people, Cao Cao is the one who ran the fastest (not Liu Xiang). Because when you mention Cao Cao, he appears.

10. 何必在雨下等一个只会给别人撑伞的人。

10. Why wait in the rain for someone who is only good at holding an umbrella for others.

11. 假如你是一棵仙人掌，我也愿意忍受所有的疼痛来抱着你。

11. If I were a cactus, I would be willing to endure all the pain just to hold you.

12. 不能因为咱俩有过节，你就把我当节过。

12. Don't treat me as a festival just because we've had a falling out.

13. 低调！才是最牛B的炫耀。

13. Low-key! That's the most awesome way to show off.

14. 16上帝说,要有光,我说我反对,从此世界上有了黑暗

14. 16 God said, "Let there be light," but I said, "I oppose it," and from then on, darkness was upon the earth.

15. 没人的照片是风景，有人的照片是回忆。

15. A photo without people is a landscape, a photo with people is a memory.

16. 1我可能缺席了你的过去，但我希望你不要缺席我的未来。

16. 1 I may have been absent from your past, but I hope you do not miss my future.

17. 老婆是大树，千万要抱住；情人是小鸟，千万别喂饱；老婆是个宝，她吵你别吵；情人是小草，谁拔跟谁跑，都说红颜好，不吵也不跑，就是不好找。

17. A wife is a big tree, you must hold on to her; a mistress is a little bird, never overfeed her; a wife is a treasure, if she scolds you, don't scold back; a mistress is a small grass, if someone pulls her, she runs away with that person. Everyone says that a beautiful woman is good, not arguing and not running away, but it's hard to find.

18. 你的眼眸，是我永远企及不到的彼岸。你的灵魂，是我永远触摸不到的玉兰。

18. Your eyes, the distant shore I can never reach. Your soul, the osmanthus I can never touch.

19. 24走自己的路，让别人打车去吧(走别人的路,让别人走投无路)

19. Walk your own path, let others take a taxi (walk on others' path, let others be at a dead end).

20. 真的猛士，敢于直面自己未化妆的脸。

20. The truly brave person dares to face their unmade-up face.

21. 8孩子跟你姓，我妈会 游泳

21. If 8 children take your surname, my mother will swim.

22. 很多女孩都是得了韩红的病，但是没有韩红的命。

22. Many girls have韩红的病 (Kang Hong's disease), but not韩红的命 (Kang Hong's destiny).

23. 多年后 你是喝我的喜酒 还是和我喝交杯酒

23. Years later, will you be drinking at my wedding banquet or sharing a cup of wine with me?

24. 其实，我很累了，我习惯假装坚强，习惯了一个人面对所有，我不知道自己到底想怎么样。

24. Actually, I'm really tired. I'm used to pretending to be strong and I'm accustomed to facing everything alone. I'm not sure what I really want.

25. 69睡眠是一门艺术--谁也不能阻挡我追求艺术的脚步。

25. 69 Sleep is an art -- no one can hinder my pursuit of the art.

26. 61买了电脑不上宽带，就好比酒肉都准备好了却在吃饭前当了和尚。

26. Buying a computer without getting broadband is like preparing wine and meat only to become a monk before the meal.

27. 能被抢走的爱人，那不叫爱人。

27. A lover who can be taken away is not a true lover.

28. 我就算是一只癞蛤蟆，我也决不娶母癞蛤蟆。

28. Even if I were a toad, I would never marry a female toad.

29. 50你以为我会眼睁睁地看着你去送死我会闭上眼睛的。

29. 50 You thought I would just stand by and watch you go to your death? I would close my eyes.

30. 不成熟男人的标志是可以为了理想壮烈的牺牲，成熟男人的标志的可以为了理想卑贱的活着。

30. The sign of an immature man is the willingness to make a heroic sacrifice for ideals, while the sign of a mature man is the ability to live in a humble manner for the sake of ideals.

31. 很黑的深夜，我突然想要学习，可是当我找到蜡烛的时候，天已经亮了

31. In the very dark of the night, I suddenly wanted to study, but by the time I found the candle, it was already light.

32. 网上碰上一群流氓并不可怕，可怕的是碰上了一堆流氓软件。?>

32. It's not可怕 to encounter a group of rascals online, but what's可怕的 is running into a bunch of malicious software.

33. 人到不了的地方，心可以！

33. Where the body can't reach, the heart can!

34. 作为失败的典型，你实在是太成功了。

34. As a typical example of failure, you've been too successful.

35. 他们说我是BT，让我去做CT，结果我是ET。

35. They said I was a BT, and told me to get a CT scan, but it turned out I was an ET.

36. 别和我谈理想，戒了！

36. Don't talk to me about ideals, I'm over it!

37. 46夏天就是不好，穷的时候我连西北风都没得喝

37. 46 Summer is just not good; when I was poor, I didn't even have a northwestern breeze to drink.

38. 如果你不是真的想离开一个人，那就最好不要随便跟他说分手。当你后悔分手，想去挽留的时候，他也许不会让你回去！

38. If you're not really ready to leave someone, it's better not to casually tell them you want to break up. When you regret the breakup and want to make up, he might not let you return!

39. 别将过去抱的太紧，因为那样你就腾不出手来拥抱现在了。

39. Don't hold onto the past too tightly, because then you won't have a hand free to embrace the present.

40. 现在：一流学生就业，二流学生出国，三流学生考研顾客不是上帝，顾客只是上当。过去：一流学生出国，二流学生考研，三流学生就业。

40. Presently: Top students find employment, second-rate students go abroad, and third-rate students prepare for postgraduate entrance exams. Customers are not gods; they are merely being conned. In the past: Top students went abroad, second-rate students prepared for postgraduate entrance exams, and third-rate students found employment.

41. 男人赚钱后想和老婆离婚，男人赚不到钱老婆想和他离婚。

41. A man wants to divorce his wife after making money, while a woman wants to divorce her husband when he can't make money.

42. 有事做的时候我们把忙碌当作累，没事做的时候我们却把放松当作无聊。

42. When we have something to do, we consider busyness as tiring, but when we have nothing to do, we regard relaxation as boring.

43. 19我的大名叫上帝，小名叫耶稣，英文名God，法号是如来

43. My full name is God, my pet name is Jesus, my English name is God, and my title is Lai Ri (the name of the Buddha).

44. 很高兴，又凑够块，终于又能上网了！

44. Very happy, we've finally gathered enough pieces again and can go online now!

45. 31春天来了,一群大雁正向北飞,一会儿排成B字型,一会儿排成T字型

45. In March, the spring has arrived, and a group of geese are flying north. Sometimes they form into a B shape, and sometimes into a T shape.

46. 终于明白，当你做对的时候，没人会记得；当你做错的时候，连呼吸都是错的。

46. Finally realized, when you do the right thing, no one will remember; when you do wrong, even breathing is wrong.

47. 凡是在食堂自习室教学楼前当众疯狂接吻的都是开不起房的！

47. Anyone caught making a public spectacle of themselves with passionate kissing in front of the cafeteria, study room, or teaching building is someone who can't afford a hotel room!

48. 2工作，退一步海阔天空，爱情，退一步人去楼空。

48. 2 Work, take a step back and the sea becomes vast; love, take a step back and the person is gone and the building is empty.

49. 4我以后生个儿子名字要叫好帅，那别人看到我就会说好帅的爸爸。

49. I will name my son "Hao Shuai" (meaning "very handsome") in the future, so when others see me, they will say, "What a handsome dad."

50. 我爱你的时候，你打我骂我，我都忍了，我不爱你了，你再碰我试试。

50. When I loved you, I endured your hitting and scolding me. But now that I don't love you anymore, try touching me again and see!

51. 哪来那么多凑巧，都是人为的刚好。

51. There's no such thing as coincidence; it's all just coincidentally intentional.

52. 时间太瘦，指缝太宽。

52. Time is too slender, the gaps between my fingers too wide.

53. 给点阳光我就腐烂。

53. Give me a little sunshine and I'll rot.

54. 儿子不听话可以适当的打打，要不就显不出老子的威严，**问题就是如此。

54. If the son is disobedient, it's appropriate to give him a good beating; otherwise, the father's authority won't be evident. That's the problem.

55. 58我要是做了人事部经理，第一件事就是提拔自己做老总。

55. 58 If I were to become the manager of the Personnel Department, the first thing I would do would be to promote myself to the position of the general manager.

56. 7不是除了你，我就没人要了。只是除了你，我谁都不想要。

56. It's not that I don't have anyone else if I don't have you. It's just that, apart from you, I don't want anyone else.

57. 我是你转身就忘的路人甲，凭什么陪你蹉跎年华到天涯？

57. I'm just a passerby you'll forget as soon as you turn your back, so what right do I have to waste my youth with you until the ends of the earth?