1. 包大人，为什么你额头上有个月亮？因为白天不懂爷的黑。

1. Mr. Bao, why do you have a moon on your forehead? Because the day doesn't understand the darkness of the master.

2. 幸好追你的时候你重，跑不动。

2. Fortunately, when I was chasing you, you were heavy and couldn't run fast.

3. 有些事情无须争辩，表面服从，偷偷反抗。

3. Some things do not require argument; they are openly submitted to while secretly resisting.

4. 所谓放假，家里遭嫌，出门没钱，每天特闲。

4. So-called holidays, the family is disliked, no money to go out, and especially idle every day.

5. 只想做个小恶魔，天不怕地不怕，只想被你降服。

5. Just want to be a little devil, fearless of heaven and earth, just want to be subdued by you.

6. 我深信，会有一个男人是为受我的折磨而来到这世上的。

6. I firmly believe that there is a man who has come into this world to endure my tortures.

7. 手机摔了这么多次都没事，后来想想还是我的身高救了它。

7. The phone survived so many falls, and later I thought it was my height that saved it.

8. 你可以偷我的句子，也可以偷我的表情，但你要是偷我的心我就要叫老公了。

8. You can steal my sentences, you can steal my expressions, but if you steal my heart, I'll have to call you husband.

9. 邻居是个多变的人，他又改wifi密码了。

9. The neighbor is a changeable person; he has changed the Wi-Fi password again.

10. 自恋不是罪，迷恋哥的请后面排队。

10. Narcissism is not a sin, those who are obsessed with him please line up at the back.

11. 不是读书没用，而是你读书没用，主要是你没用。

11. It's not that reading is useless; it's just that you haven't used your reading effectively, mainly because you haven't been useful yourself.

12. 宁愿胖得精致，也不愿瘦得雷同。

12. Prefer to be chubby with elegance, rather than slim and look the same.

13. 道理我都懂，可是听到别人喊美女的时候还是忍不住要回头。

13. I understand the logic, but when I hear someone call someone a beauty, I can't help but turn back.

14. 我很清楚你要弱智起来，一发不可收拾，但我还真想见识见识。

14. I am well aware that you are about to become mentally retarded and lose control, but I still want to see it with my own eyes.

15. 只是因为在人群中多看了你一眼，我便瞎了眼。

15. It's just that I gave you a second look in the crowd, and I went blind.

16. 不管我们的距离有多遥远，关怀你的心是永远不变的。

16. No matter how far apart we are, the care for you remains ever unchanging.

17. 陈奕迅只教了我十年怎么唱，却没教我十年怎么走。

17. Eason Chan taught me how to sing for only ten years, but he never taught me how to walk for ten years.

18. 我有辣条和酒，就问你跟不跟我走。

18. I have spicy sticks and wine, so I'm asking you if you want to follow me.

19. 你上辈子一定是碳酸饮料吧，所以我一看见你就开心的冒泡。

19. You must have been a carbonated drink in your previous life, because as soon as I see you, I burst with joy.

20. 我今天心情不好，只想说四句话，包括前面的两句，我的话说完了。

20. I'm not in a good mood today, and I just want to say four sentences, including the two before this one, that's all I have to say.

21. 每一个牛逼的人生，都有一段2B的青春。

21. Every awesome life has a period of 2B youth. ("2B" here is a play on words, combining the Chinese character for "two" (二) with the English word "bizarre" to imply a youthful period that is somewhat bizarre or outlandish.)

22. 情人节表白，人家不听。愚人节表白，人家不信。清明节表白，人家不应。

22. On Valentine's Day, when you confess your love, people don't listen. On April Fool's Day, when you confess your love, people don't believe it. On Qingming Festival, when you confess your love, people don't respond.

23. 放假了，买个地球仪吧，世界那么大，你不但可以看看，还可以转转。

23. It's time for a holiday, why not buy a globe? The world is so vast, and not only can you take a look, but you can also turn it around.

24. 收银员说：没零钱了，找你两个塑料袋吧。

24. The cashier said: I don't have any change, so I'll give you two plastic bags instead.

25. 老娘变天鹅的时候，你还是颗蛋呢。

25. When the old woman turned into a swan, you were just an egg.

26. 知道你过的不好，我就安心了。?>

26. Knowing that you're not doing well, I feel at ease.

27. 病毒爱上了我家的电脑，我只能成全他们。

27. The virus fell in love with my computer, and I could only grant them their wish.

28. 只因为在人群中多看了你几眼，从此便瞎了眼。

28. It's just that I cast a few more glances at you in the crowd, and from then on, I've gone blind.

29. 每一个说了晚安去睡的人，往往半小时以后还在得瑟。

29. Anyone who says goodnight and goes to bed usually is still acting up half an hour later.

30. 天冷了，有对象的搂对象，没对象的咱添衣裳。

30. It's getting cold, those with partners should hold their partners close, and those without should add more clothes.

31. 解释就是掩饰，掩饰就是不老实，不老实就是欠收拾！

31. Explanation is a form of cover-up, cover-up is not being honest, and not being honest is in need of a good scolding!

32. 我真的不愿意用脚趾头鄙视你。但是，是你逼我这么做的！

32. I really don't want to look down on you with my toes. But, it's you who forced me to do so!

33. 为什么大家都在过情人节，而我家在过劳动节呢。

33. Why are everyone celebrating Valentine's Day while my family is celebrating Labor Day?

34. 当你身上的装饰物的价值超过了你内在的价值，你就时尚了。

34. When the value of the ornaments on you exceeds your inner value, you become fashionable.

35. 你有什么不开心的事？说出来让大家开心一下。

35. What are you not happy about? Speak up and let's make everyone else happy.

36. 一天有这么多时间，能不能空出一秒来想我一下。

36. With so much time in a day, can't you spare a second to think of me?

37. 对不起，由于服务器的原因，您刚才发的信息丢失，请重发一面。

37. Sorry, due to server issues, the message you sent just now has been lost. Please resend it.

38. 装什么城里人，现在地球都叫村。

38. What a city dweller act, now the whole Earth is called a village.

39. 我心中一直有个疑惑，5年了，整整5年了，灰太狼都是吃什么活下来的？

39. I've always had a doubt in my heart, for five years now, a whole five years, what does the Big Bad Wolf eat to survive?

40. 有钱的人怕别人知道他有钱，没钱的人怕别人知道他没钱。

40. The rich are afraid that others know they are rich, and the poor are afraid that others know they are poor.

41. 成长就是，从前你难过的时候，油盐不进，茶饭不思，现在能一边流泪一边去厨房给自己下碗面，还不忘加俩荷包蛋。

41. Growth is about, from before when you were sad and could not take in food or drink, now you can cook yourself a bowl of noodles while crying, and even remember to add two eggs.

42. 泼出去的水，老子连盆子都不要了。

42. If I throw water away, I wouldn't even want the basin.

43. 以你的理解能力，我解释了你也不见得懂，所以，你继续渺茫吧。

43. With your understanding ability, even I explain it, you might not understand it either, so, continue to be obscure.

44. 没吃饱只有一个烦恼，吃饱了就有无数个烦恼。

44. There is only one worry when you haven't eaten enough, but there are countless worries when you have had enough.

45. 自从见到你妹，你这兄弟我交定了。

45. Since I met your sister, I'm determined to be your brother.