1. 听君一席话，省我十本书

1. A single conversation with you is worth ten books.

2. 听说你傍大款了，认二郎神当主人了。

2. I heard you're dating a big shot, and you consider the Second Son of God as your master.

3. 小X，***喊你回家**啦！

3. Xiao X, ***they are calling you back home**!

4. 你说，我青春期起痘痘，你更年期羡慕是吗。

4. You say I got acne during my adolescence, do you envy me during your menopausal years?

5. 我可不敢挑战你那三岁小孩的思维。

5. I dare not challenge the thinking of your three-year-old child.

6. 你再假装清高也掩饰不了你的**，你那股**劲可是传遍了大街小巷了。

6. No matter how high and mighty you pretend to be, you can't hide your **[original character]**, that kind of **[characteristic]** of yours has spread all over the streets and alleys.

7. 你长的这么丑，往战场上一放人死了一大半。

7. You're so ugly that if you were placed on the battlefield, half the people would die.

8. 天没降大任于我，照样苦我心志，劳我筋骨。

8. Though heaven has not bestowed upon me great responsibilities, it still tests my resolve and exhausts my strength.

9. 看你长的就一脸P眼开花的贱样，看你几眼我觉得我都变得猥琐了。

9. Just by looking at you, with that smug, lecherous expression, I feel like I've become creepy just by looking at you for a few seconds.

10. 抽烟的男人有味道，还是喝酒的男人有味道？--不洗澡的有。

10. Is it the man who smokes who has an odor, or the man who drinks? -- There are those who don't bathe.

11. 我又不是人民币，怎么能让人人都喜欢我。

11. I'm not the Chinese yuan, how can I be liked by everyone.

12. 不要担心你会受伤，因为你长得太安全了，就连色狼看见你都会被吓跑。

12. Don't worry about getting hurt, because you look so safe that even a pervert would be scared away when they see you.

13. 买个保险真好，走路都不用看啥红绿灯了。

13. It's really great to buy insurance, now I don't even have to look at the traffic lights when walking.

14. 你光着身子追我两公里我回一次头都算我是流氓！

14. If you chase me for two kilometers and I turn my head back once, that counts as me being a流氓!

15. 你一死，猪肉就将出现短暂的降价。

15. Upon your death, pork prices will experience a brief decrease.

16. 老鼠从不浪费晚上的时间，而我们人类却浪费了每天的三分之一

16. Rats never waste their time at night, but we humans waste a third of each day.

17. 其实你算什么呢，不过是一条乱吠的狗罢了。

17. In fact, what are you but a barking dog?

18. 我出一毛买你，请给我找分，谢谢。

18. I'm willing to pay a cent for you, please give me a coin, thank you.

19. 幼稚园程度的高中生，先天蒙古症的青蛙头。

19. A high school student with the level of a kindergarten, a frog-headed person with congenital Mongolianism.

20. 如果说你的闺蜜能当男朋友使，祝福你你已经成功踏入玻璃行业。

20. If your bestie can act as a boyfriend, congrats, you've already successfully stepped into the glass industry.

21. 你总是问我：国家怎么不拿你的脸去做防弹衣？国家有了你，还需要我么？

21. You always ask me: Why doesn't the country use your face to make bulletproof vests? If the country has you, does it still need me?

22. 你TM自己看看你自己，长得跟TM远古时代穿越过来的似的，穿的跟TM刚从二战打完战回来的似的，个儿跟特么飞机降落把你压了似的，头型跟特么平底锅烙的似的。

22. Look at yourself, you look like someone who just traveled through time from ancient times, dressed as if you just came back from World War II, as tall as if a plane just landed on you, and your hairstyle is like something cooked on a flat pan.

23. 你的身材苗条如怀孕的母牛。你的大脑比我家的猪聪明半倍。皮肤是你最好的保护伞，躺在煤炭里要找半年。

23. You are as slim as a pregnant cow. Your brain is twice as clever as my family's pigs. Your skin is your best umbrella, and you'd have to search in the coal for half a year to find it.

24. 你劈劈大胯练练双杠，不吃不喝也能尿炕，你跳河污染水资源，安乐死浪费时间，吃安眠药浪费国家的钱财，煤气中毒浪费煤气。

24. You劈劈啪啪地锻炼大胯，练双杠，即使不吃不喝也能尿床，你跳河污染水资源，安乐死浪费了时间，服用安眠药浪费了国家的钱财，煤气中毒浪费了煤气。

25. 你出生时就丑的躲起来了，连你父母都不敢见你，你还怕有人举报你？

25. You were ugly from the moment you were born, and you hid away even when your parents were too afraid to see you. Are you still afraid someone will report you?

26. 你是那行做多了见到谁都是抢你生意的假想敌是吧？

26. Are you in an industry where you've done so much that everyone you meet is a hypothetical rival trying to steal your business, right?

27. 少在我面前拽的跟二五八万似的，摆好POSE，在装1

27. Don't act like you're so important in front of me, strike a pose and act like you're putting on a show.

28. 等我有钱了，我就带我你去最好的神经病院。

28. When I have money, I will take you to the best psychiatric hospital.

29. 你是没长脑袋，还是脑袋上长霉了。

29. Are you brainless, or is there mold on your head?

30. ***学人家做**，还到处说被人家三千包的。

30. ***Copying others**, and then boasting about being paid 30,000 yuan by someone else.

31. 你脸上的痘真多，拖拉机开上去都会翻车！

31. There are so many pimples on your face that a tractor driving over it would overturn!

32. 你以为你装可爱就回归童年了？

32. Do you think you can act cute and go back to your childhood?

33. 你饶了我吧！还我一个干净美好和谐的世界吧！不要再污染环境，影响市容了。

33. Please spare me! Give me back a clean, beautiful, and harmonious world! Stop polluting the environment and affecting the city's appearance.

34. 护舒宝真好，看您那脸多粉嫩啊，水分真多，滑溜滑溜的。

34. Tampax is really great, look at how rosy your face is, so much moisture, smooth and slippery.

35. 说你傻你就傻，拿着背心当裤衩，说你得儿你就得儿，拿着裤衩当背心！！哈哈绝对是傻吊一个！

35. If you say you're dumb, then you're dumb, wearing a vest as shorts! If you say you're a 'děr' (a term of endearment), then you act like one, wearing shorts as a vest! Haha, definitely a dumbass!

36. 睡眠是一门艺术--谁也无法阻挡我追求艺术的脚步。

36. Sleep is an art -- no one can hinder my pursuit of artistic endeavors.

37. 像你这么贱的人还要脸干嘛，不如把脸丢进臭水沟里面去。

37. You are such a despicable person, what's the point of having a face? Might as well throw your face into the臭水沟(stinky water channel).

38. 你别以为你不吃屎就不臭了，你那臭是天生的。

38. Don't think that because you don't eat shit you won't stink; your stench is innate.

39. 这两片嘴唇，切切倒有一大碟子。

39. These two lips are actually as big as a plate.

40. 您这么中性的……要不你去泰国变个性？

40. You're so neutral... why don't you go to Thailand and change your personality?

41. 你这个非洲人搞上黑猪的后裔，阴阳失调的黑猩猩。

41. You African person, offspring of a black pig, an imbalanced chimpanzee.