1. 今天心情不好。我只有四句话想说。包括这句和前面的两句。我的话说完了。

1. I'm not feeling well today. I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the two before it. That's all I have to say.

2. 老娘一向视帅哥与金钱如粪土，而他们也一直是这样看我的。

2. I have always regarded handsome men and money as dirt, and they have always seen me in the same light.

3. 你让我滚，我滚了。你让我回来，对不起，滚远了。

3. You told me to go away, so I went. When you asked me to come back, sorry, I've rolled too far away.

4. 为何现在的女人上面穿羽绒下面穿丝袜：因为鲜奶要保温、火腿要冷藏。

4. Why do women now wear down jackets on top and stockings on the bottom: because milk needs to be kept warm and ham needs to be kept chilled.

5. 一觉醒来我以为我长高了，原来是被子盖横了。

5. When I woke up, I thought I had grown taller, but it turned out that the blanket was covering me diagonally.

6. 就算我是一只癞蛤蟆，我也坚决不娶母癞蛤蟆。

6. Even if I were a toad, I would resolutely not marry a female toad.

7. 只有比别人更早、更勤奋地努力，才能尝到成功的滋味。

7. Only by working harder and starting earlier than others can one taste the sweetness of success.

8. 愿你的下一场爱情，是棋逢对手，是势均力敌，是长久永固，是白首不相离。

8. May your next love be a match made in chess, where both sides are evenly matched, enduring and steadfast, and where they never part even in old age.

9. 我身边的朋友们啊，你们快点出名吧，这样我的回忆录就可以畅销了。

9. Oh, my friends around me, please become famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well.

10. 女孩按相貌可以分为三种：一种来自天上，一种来自民间，一种来自阴间。

10. Girls can be divided into three categories based on their appearance: one comes from heaven, one comes from the folk, and one comes from the underworld.

11. 不要把银行卡密码改成男朋友生日，总换总换很麻烦的！

11. Don't change your bank card password to your boyfriend's birthday, it's a hassle to keep changing it all the time!

12. 即使你已名花有主、我也要移花接木。

12. Even though you are already spoken for, I will still transplant the flowers and graft them.

13. 在哪里摔倒，就在哪里倒下，再站起来。

13. Fall where you fall, and stand up again.

14. 如果我做了皇帝，就封你当太子！

14. If I were to become the emperor, I would make you the Crown Prince!

15. 全身粉末性骨折？，那你就是个人渣啊。

15. A body full of powder-like fractures? You're a scoundrel.

16. 如果有缘，错过了还会重来；如果无缘，相遇了也会离开。

16. If there is a connection, even if it's missed, it will come again; if there is no connection, even if they meet, they will also part ways.

17. 曾经的海枯石烂，抵不过好聚好散。

17. What was once an eternal love, is not as strong as a good reunion and a good parting.

18. 朋友圈里发留言，说我失恋了，有人安慰有人同情，还有起腻的。

18. I posted a message on my friend circle, saying I was heartbroken, and some people comforted me, some同情 me, and some were sick of it.

19. 自从买了保险，过马路都不用看红绿灯了。

19. Since buying the insurance, I don't even need to look at the traffic lights when crossing the street.

20. 人最大的对手，往往不是别人，而是自己的懒惰。别指望撞大运，运气不可能永远在你身上，任何时候都要靠本事吃饭。你必须拼尽全力，才有资格说自己的运气不好。

20. The biggest opponent of a person is often not others, but their own laziness. Don't expect to hit the jackpot; luck is not always on your side, and you should rely on your skills to make a living at any time. You must give it your all before you have the资格 to complain about your bad luck.

21. 这个世界上除了我，没有其它神。

21. There is no other god in this world except for me.

22. 没有背景，所以只能看到她的背影。

22. There is no background, so only her back can be seen.

23. 打工者做工，小老板做事，中老板做市，大老板做势――你是哪一种？

23. Workers work, small bosses do things, middle bosses do markets, and big bosses do trends -- which one are you?

24. 青春就像卫生纸，看着挺多得，用着用着就不够了。

24. Youth is like toilet paper; it seems abundant at first glance, but it's gone before you know it.

25. 我去刺杀搜狗，搜狗大哭问我为什么，我奸笑道：到阴间你问百度就知道了。

25. I went to assassinate Soogou, and Soogou cried out to ask me why. I said with a lecherous smile: You'll know the reason when you go to the underworld and ask Baidu.

26. 只要心还愿意攀登，就没有到不了的高度。

26. As long as the heart is willing to climb, there is no height that cannot be reached.

27. 我在女友手机里的名字是他，分手后，我就变成了它。

27. My name in my girlfriend's phone was him, and after the breakup, I turned into it.

28. 忍为高，所以要忍让、忍耐、隐忍。

28. Patience is of the highest order, thus it is necessary to practice tolerance, endurance, and forbearance.

29. 小时候，家里穷。买不起自行车，所以每天打车去学校。?>

29. When I was young, my family was poor. We couldn't afford a bicycle, so I had to take a taxi to school every day.

30. 当初的誓言，是谁，失了言；还是谁，食了言；而我却，当了真，湿了眼。

30. Who broke the initial vow, who failed to keep it; or who swallowed their words; yet I, I took it seriously, and my eyes became wet.

31. 好女人是一所学校，好男人毕业了可留校任教。

31. A good woman is a school, where a good man can stay on to teach after graduation.

32. 要想恋爱走到底，可别烧香给自己！

32. Don't burn incense for yourself if you want your love to last!

33. 没有不变的承诺，只有说不完的谎言。

33. There are no unchanging commitments, only endless lies.

34. 我不是笨。只是我想不到！

34. I'm not stupid. I just can't think of it!

35. 不要同一个傻瓜争辩，否则别人会搞不清到底谁是傻瓜。

35. Do not argue with an idiot, or others might not be able to tell who the idiot is.

36. 你每天让人蹬一回，你自行车啊。

36. You let someone ride your bike every day, don't you?

37. 用微笑宣泄悲伤，用沉默装点痛苦，哪怕是假装，也要假装成快乐的那一个，人生的路你不坚强，没人替你勇敢！

37. Release sorrow with a smile, adorn pain with silence, even if it's feigned, but at least pretend to be the happy one. In life, if you are not strong, no one will stand in for you to be brave!

38. 敢情你入了丐帮了！打扮得很讲究啊！

38. So you've joined the乞儿帮？ You're dressed quite elaborately!

39. 许多人爬到了梯子的顶端，却发现梯子架错了墙。

39. Many people climbed to the top of the ladder only to find out that the ladder was leaning against the wrong wall.

40. 树不要皮，必死无疑；人不要脸，天下无敌。

40. Trees without bark are sure to die; people without face are invincible in the world.

41. 站在山顶和站在山脚下的两人，虽然地位不同，但在对方眼里，同样的渺小。

41. The two people standing at the top of the mountain and at the foot of the mountain, though in different positions, are equally insignificant in each other's eyes.

42. 幸运之神的降临，往往只是因为你多看了一眼，多想了一下，多走了一步。

42. The arrival of the goddess of luck often comes down to just one more glance, one more thought, one more step.

43. 连广告也信，读书读傻了吧？

43. Even believe in advertisements? You must be brainwashed by reading too much?

44. 过着八戒的生活，却想要悟空的身材。

44. Leading a pig's life but wanting the physique of a Monkey King.

45. 寝室摆地摊，再也不用怕城管了。

45. Set up a street stall in the dormitory, and no longer have to worry about the city management.

46. 我长得漂亮，一群男生前呼后拥，我特别有面子。

46. I am beautiful, with a group of boys trailing behind me, which makes me feel especially proud.

47. 伸手紧紧抓住那感动，发现里面，不仅仅是感动，还有深诚真挚的爱和真实。

47. Reach out and tightly grasp that touch of emotion, and you'll find that within it, there is not only emotion, but also deep, sincere love and authenticity.