1. 请勿把垃圾扔入抽屉。

1. Do not throw trash into the drawer.

2. 我们有同事外地出差，经销商请吃饭。席间要欲小便，经销商说对面就有洗手间，你去的话如果给门口说，我们是对面吃饭的就可以免费。我们同事为了节约两毛钱，箭步直走，理直气壮地对管厕所的说：“我是来吃饭的！”

2. We have a colleague who is on a business trip out of town, and the dealer invited him for a meal. During the meal, he felt the need to urinate. The dealer said there was a restroom across the street, and if he told the person at the door that they were dining across the street, he could use it for free. Our colleague, in order to save two cents, walked swiftly and confidently towards the restroom, saying to the attendant, "I'm here to eat!"

3. kfc苏丹红事件过后，我去kfc ,服务员问，您要点什么？ 我想都没想：一对苏丹红 服务员马上一副被噎住的表情

3. After the KFC Sudan Red incident, when I went to KFC, the waiter asked, "What would you like?" Without thinking, I replied: "A pair of Sudan Red." The waiter immediately had a look of being choked.

4. 英语老师教语法，下课前问大家：“我都讲完了，大家还有明白的么？”我们齐声答：“没有了！”

4. The English teacher taught grammar and asked the class before the end of the lesson, "I've finished explaining everything, does anyone still understand?" We all replied in unison, "No one!"

5. 留下你的微笑，带走你的垃圾。

5. Leave a smile, take away your trash.

6. 刚上课10多分钟，我同桌就举手说：老师我想上厕所。

6. After just over ten minutes into the class, my classmate raised his hand and said, "Teacher, I need to use the bathroom."

7. 把你高贵的品德留下，把垃圾带走，共建宁静和谐的教室。

7. Leave behind your noble character and take away the garbage, together we build a tranquil and harmonious classroom.

8. 大学师姐，上教育心理学迟到走进教室斜瞄了黑板一眼老教授生气中，就叫师姐回答黑板的问题师姐支吾半天说了:"<性感与性理论>，这也太难讲了啦"全班人仰马翻(注教授原题:<论理性与感性>

8. The senior sister from the university was late for the educational psychology class and casually glanced at the blackboard as she entered the classroom. The old professor was angry and called on the senior sister to answer the question on the blackboard. The senior sister hesitated for a while and said, "Sex and sexual theory, that's too difficult to explain." The whole class was in an uproar (Note: the original question by the professor was "On Rationality and Sensitivity").

9. 大学时候，听见一个女生点菜：师傅，炒一盘酸辣土豆丝，不要放土豆！

9. During university, I heard a girl ordering food: "Master, cook a plate of spicy and sour potato shreds, but don't put any potatoes in it!"

10. 江山如此多娇，引无数英雄射大雕。。。。。。

10. The land is so beautiful, attracting countless heroes to shoot at the great eagle......

11. 同学的毕业作品是用大红布做成凤凰状缝在黑色的袍状服装上

11. The graduation project of the classmate was made of red cloth in the shape of a phoenix, stitched onto a black robe-like garment.

12. 有次大热天的打麻将，突然停电了，只好买了蜡烛继续战斗过了半个小时，实在热得受不了了，一人说：“还是开电风扇吧，热死了。”另一人接口：“不能开，开了会把蜡烛吹灭的。”

12. On one hot summer day, we were playing Mahjong when suddenly the power went out. We had to buy candles to continue the game for another half hour. It got too hot to bear, and one person said, "Let's turn on the fan, it's too hot." The other replied, "We can't do that, it will blow out the candles."

13. 人人讲卫生 个个爱清洁

13. Everyone talks about hygiene; everyone loves cleanliness.

14. 保持高尚的人格，从细节做起：请把垃圾带走!

14. Maintain a noble character, starting from the details: Please take the trash away!

15. 学校是我家 清洁靠大家

15. The school is our home; cleanliness depends on everyone.

16. 请保持室内外环境整洁

16. Please keep the indoor and outdoor environments clean and tidy.

17. 我本来是要说2000年的，结果一激动说：“两千年前。。。”

17. I was originally going to say "the year 2000," but got excited and ended up saying, "2,000 years ago..."

18. 物理课上老师讲到放射性元素，说：放射性元素很危险，你们人类一定要远离它！！

18. During the physics class, the teacher talked about radioactive elements and said: Radioactive elements are very dangerous! You humans must keep away from them!!

19. 本人姓朱，管理单位机房。有次有人打我手机：“鸡科长，你在猪房吗？”当时狂骂那家伙一顿

19. My surname is Zhu, and I manage the computer room of the organization. Once, someone called my mobile phone and asked, "Director Ji, are you in the pig house?" At that moment, I cursed him a storm.

20. 爱护花草树木

20. Take care of flowers, grass, and trees.

21. 室内空气好，全都靠大家教室是我家，清洁靠大家。

21. The indoor air is good, all thanks to everyone. The classroom is our home, and cleanliness depends on all of us.

22. 蛾子如果到了青蛙和蟾蜍那里，不就成了点心了吗．．．

22. If moths reached the frogs and toads, wouldn't they become a snack...

23. 不准打架骂人斗欧

23. No fighting, no cursing, no fistfights.

24. 因为还是小孩子，而且是第一次打工所以很紧张

24. Because he is still a child and it's his first time working, he is very nervous.

25. 印象里小学时的班长极其严肃，一次自习课，教室里人声鼎沸，班长维护了几次秩序之后终于忍无可忍，站起来一拍桌子怒吼道:谁再吵，把他嘴打断!!!……全班肃静

25. In memory, the class monitor in elementary school was extremely serious. Once during a self-study class, the classroom was noisy with chatter. After maintaining order several times, the monitor finally couldn't bear it any longer, stood up, slammed the table, and shouted: If anyone talks again, I'll break his mouth!!! ... The whole class fell silent.

26. 爸妈吵架，我爸气的说了句：”我给你滚出去！”

26. When my parents argued, my dad, in anger, said, "I want you to get out of here!"

27. 我一很要好的男同学摔坐在地上，我为了表示关心问了一句:"你的屁股摔疼了吧!"结果不小心说成了"你的屁股摔死了吧"汗~~~该兄站起来拍拍屁股，放了个屁，说"没死，还喘气呢!"我直接晕了

27. One of my close male classmates fell down and sat on the ground. To express my concern, I asked, "Are you hurt on your buttocks?" But I accidentally said, "Did your buttocks die?" Oh dear~~~ The brother got up, patted his buttocks, let out a fart, and said, "It's not dead; it's still breathing!" I was directly stunned.

28. 逛街中，突然朋友惊呼：“哇！‘处女书店’！”我大惊，抬头一看，一块匾额，上书四个大字

28. While window-shopping, my friend suddenly exclaimed, "Wow! 'Virgin Bookstore'!" I was startled, looked up, and saw a signboard with four large characters.

29. 爱护花木 美化校园

29. Care for the flowers and trees, beautify the campus.

30. 刚交房的时候，来往的人多，每次保安会盘问。

30. When the housing was newly handed over, there were many people coming and going, and the security guards would question them each time.

31. 我们的总经理姓周，一次他打电话来，我正开车，一紧张张口就说："周总理……"

31. Our general manager's surname is Zhou. Once he called, I was driving, and I got so nervous that I blurted out, "Premier Zhou..."

32. 我们老师很厉害，有一天他这么说："把作业拿出来，我们对一下答案，对的打叉，然后在上面写上正确答案………"

32. Our teacher is really impressive. One day, he said, "Take out your homework, let's check the answers together. Mark a cross for the correct ones, and then write down the correct answers on top of them..."

33. 顺手捡起是的一片纸，纯洁的是自己的精神。

33. Picking up a piece of paper at hand, purity is found in one's own spirit.

34. 请讲礼貌用语

34. Please use polite language.

35. 请勿乱倒垃圾污水

35. Do not dump garbage and wastewater carelessly.

36. x保持教室清洁，靠你靠他靠大家!

36. Keep the classroom clean, it depends on you, on him, on everyone!

37. 好好学习，天天向上

37. Study hard and make progress every day.

38. 结果说成：“经理，你们这里需不需要打手？”

38. The result was phrased as: "Manager, do you need muscle here?"

39. 心灵美 语言美 行为美 环境美

39. Beauty of the soul, beauty of language, beauty of behavior, beauty of the environment.

40. 一次，我们报社摄影记者采访某女明星归来，在会上谈他和这明星如何如何熟。老总看着桌上的一大堆照片开了句玩笑：我看你都成他御用摄影师了。可老总的南方普通话不明不白，把“御”念成了“日”的音。从此，这个可怜的摄影记者就被我们称为“日用摄影师”，他加班时，当然就成了“夜用”。

40. One time, after our newspaper's photo journalist had returned from an interview with a female movie star, he talked at a meeting about how well he knew the star. The company president, looking at the pile of photos on the table, made a joke: "I see you've become her personal photographer." However, the president's southern Mandarin was unclear, and he pronounced the character "御" as the sound of "日" (sun). From then on, this poor photo journalist was called "日用 photographer" by us, and of course, when he worked overtime, he became "夜用" (night use).

41. 我们的高中办主任又一次怒斥我们上课不好好听讲的时候说到：“你们以后再这样，就别怪我翻脸不是人了！”

41. Our high school principal again scolded us for not paying attention in class and said, "If you do that again, don't blame me for turning into a monster!"

42. 保持教室卫生， 人人讲究卫生，个个爱清洁。你们听说保护教室卫生幽默标语有哪些吗?那么小编为大家整理了保护教室卫生幽默标语，欢迎阅览!

42. Maintain the cleanliness of the classroom, everyone should be hygienic, and each one should love cleanliness. Have you heard any humorous slogans about protecting the cleanliness of the classroom? Then, the editor has compiled a list of humorous slogans for protecting the classroom cleanliness, welcome to read!

43. 举起两根手指，对同学们说：“同学们，学好数学关键就是三个字！！’多做练习！！’”

43. Raise two fingers and say to the classmates, "Classmates, the key to mastering mathematics is just three words!!! 'Do more practice!!!'"

44. 50条全新口误现已降临地球！——暴笑口误2007酷热版 （ZT）

44. 50 brand new slips of the tongue have now descended upon Earth! —— Hilarious Misstatements 2007 Hot Version (Translated)

45. 去**院看《加勒比海盗3》，**开场前有《变形金刚》的预告片，看见狂派首领时候怎么也想不起来“威震天”了，也想不起来他的团队叫“霸天虎”，因为太激动了，结果就惊呼了一小下“真帅，是南霸天！”

45. I went to the cinema to watch "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides", and before the movie started, there was a trailer for "Transformers". When I saw the Decepticon leader, I couldn't remember "Megatron" at all, nor could I recall that his team was called "Decepticons", because I was so excited. As a result, I exclaimed in surprise, "He's so cool, it's the Southoverlord!"

46. 更瀑布汗的是，主考官竟然噢了一声，说：“孔子的学生吧。”

46. Even more surprising was that the examiner actually made an "oh" sound and said, "A student of Confucius, I suppose."

47. 我有个朋友刚看过《射雕英雄传》，对“打狗棍法”非常感兴趣，经常跟别人开玩笑。

47. I have a friend who just watched "The Condor Heroes" and is very interested in the "Dog-Slaying Staff Technique," often making jokes with others.

48. 大学的时候，我们问一个哥们曼联的战况如何，他激动的说：“曼联输了，贝克汉姆领到两张黄盘下场了！”

48. In college, we asked a friend about the Manchester United match, and he excitedly said, "Manchester United lost, and Beckham was sent off with two yellow cards!"

49. 其中一个人估计是被兄弟出卖了，郁闷的不行闷头喝了不少啤酒，然后脸通红的站起来大吼一声

49. One person was believed to have been betrayed by a brother, feeling extremely upset, he drank a lot of beer in a daze, then stood up with a flushed face and shouted loudly.

50. 一男生（杨白劳）：扯了二斤红头绳，给我喜儿扎起来……

50. A boy (Yang Bailao): Tied two pounds of red hair ribbons to make a hairpin for Ji'er...