1. 老虎皮、象皮、狮子皮哪一个最不好 答:象皮因为橡皮擦(差)

1. Which one is the worst among tiger skin, elephant skin, and lion skin? Answer: Elephant skin because of the rubber eraser (bad).

2. 设备真可贵，公德不可退，坐式马桶位，上蹲危坠坠，蹲体真污秽，别人很惧畏。

2. The equipment is truly valuable, public morals cannot be diminished. The sitting toilet seat, when used, is dangerous and risky. The squatting body is truly filthy, and others are very fearful of it.

3. 一个盲人乞丐戴着墨镜在街上行乞 一个醉汉走过来,觉得他可怜,就扔了一百元给他 走了一段路,醉汉一回头,看见盲人正分辨那张百元大抄的真假 醉汉过来一把夺回钱道:你TMD不想活了,竟敢骗老子 盲人乞丐一脸委屈说:大哥,我替朋友在这看下他是瞎子,去上厕所了,其实我是哑巴 "哦,这样阿"于是醉汉扔下钱,又摇摇晃晃地走了

3. A blind beggar wearing sunglasses is begging on the street. A drunkard comes along, feeling sorry for him, and throws a hundred yuan at him. After walking a little distance, the drunkard looks back and sees the blind beggar examining the authenticity of the hundred yuan note. The drunkard rushes over and snatches the money back, saying: "You bastard, do you want to live? You dare to cheat me!" The blind beggar, looking very upset, says: "Brother, I'm here to watch over my friend who is blind and went to the bathroom. In fact, I'm mute." "Oh, is that so," the drunkard replied, and then dropped the money and staggered away again.

4. 卫生间卫生标语

4. Bathroom Hygiene Slogan

5. 爱护公物，文明如厕。

5. Take care of public property; behave civilly in the restroom.

6. 1请您”方便”后必须要：洗刷刷洗刷刷，洗刷刷洗刷刷～

6. 1 After you are "convenient," you must: Wash, wash, wash; wash, wash, wash～

7. 甲:那个人在干什么 乙:他在发抖 甲:他为什么要发抖呢 乙:他冷呀 甲:噢,原来发抖就不会冷拉

7. A: What's that person doing? B: He's shaking. A: Why is he shaking? B: He's cold. A: Oh, I see, shaking keeps you warm, then.

8. 俩屎壳螂讨论** 甲说:我要中了大奖就把方圆50里的厕所都买下来,每天吃个够 乙说:你丫太俗了!我要是中了大奖就包一活人,每天吃新鲜的

8. Two dung beetles were discussing. A said: If I win the grand prize, I will buy all the toilets within a radius of 50 miles, and eat to my heart's content every day. B said: You're too vulgar! If I win the grand prize, I will hire a live person, and eat fresh every day.

9. 见了你，我才知道恐龙其实是可以再次出现的。

9. Meeting you, I realized that dinosaurs can actually appear again.

10. 25厕所经常保清新，洗手擦拭莫甩水，地板乾净不会毁。

10. The toilet is kept fresh and clean, wash and wipe without splashing water, the floor stays clean and won't be damaged.

11. 20如果你不给别人方便，你将不能“方便”。

11. 20 If you do not make it convenient for others, you will not be able to enjoy "convenience" yourself.

12. 我给您方便，您还我清洁。

12. I make it convenient for you, and you return me cleanliness.

13. 厕所卫生要注意，干净清洁要保持。

13. Pay attention to toilet hygiene, and keep it clean and tidy.

14. 厕所经常保清新，洗手擦拭莫甩水，地板干净不会毁。

14. The toilet is kept fresh and clean at all times, washing and wiping hands without splashing water, the floor stays clean and won't be damaged.

15. 能交一堆没谱的朋友，本身就得是一没界的奇才。

15. To be able to gather a group of unpredictable friends, one must be a boundary-bending genius themselves.

16. 看过“公司卫生间搞笑标语”

16. Seen "Funny Slogans in the Company Bathroom"

17. 变态要趁早，来得太晚的话，快乐也不那么痛快

17. Early treatment is key for abnormality; if it comes too late, the joy won't be as pleasant.

18. 厕所一冲刷，好运自然来。

18. Flush the toilet, and good luck will naturally come.

19. 34您瞅准了，按那里冲．一般人我不告诉他。

19. 34 You've got it right, aim for that spot. I don't tell this to just anyone.

20. 表扬一个人，最好用公文；批评一个人，尽量用电话。

20. The best way to praise someone is through official documents; try to use a phone call to criticize someone.

21. 厕所经常保清新，洗手擦拭莫甩水，地板乾净不会毁。

21. The toilet is kept fresh and clean at all times, wash your hands and wipe without splashing water, the floor will remain clean and not be damaged.

22. 情不在切，贴心就成;纸不在多，够用就行。

22. It's not about how close it is, as long as it's heartfelt; it's not about how many papers there are, as long as it's enough for use.

23. 如何让饮料变大杯 念大悲咒 二简短的冷笑话

23. How to make a drink larger - Chant the Great Compassion Mantra, two brief cold jokes.

24. 冰箱里有两根香肠,过了很久 一跟香肠抖了一下,哇!好冷啊 另一根香肠十分惊奇地说,咦你是香肠怎么会说话

24. There were two sausages in the refrigerator, and after a long time, one of the sausages trembled. Wow! It's so cold! The other sausage said in great surprise, "Hey, you're a sausage, how can you talk?"

25. 请疼惜打扫人的辛苦，请尊重後用者的权益，使用时请靠近小便池，您的爱心我们感激您。

25. Please cherish the hard work of the cleaners, respect the rights of the subsequent users, and get close to the toilet when using it. Your kindness is appreciated.

26. 两个大学生的谈话 A:你是新疆的 B:YES A:哇好远啊 A:新疆解放没 B:没,我们上课的时候都带着枪 A:你原来会说汉语 B:恩,来的时候在火车上刚学的 A:你们还吃生肉么 B:我们老大发明了燧木取火,我们吃烧烤 A:下次我去拉萨旅游,就住你家了啊 B:没问题,不过我家离拉萨稍有点远 A:你们怎么来上学 B:骑驴到北京后坐飞机 A:那一定很久才到吧 B:习惯了,提前半年出发就行 A:怎么不骑马呢 B:在新疆，骑马的都是穷人干的事情,像我们考出来的都是骑骆驼和驴的然后新疆没有高考,考试都是比赛射箭,一公里以外摆个牌子,写上"清华"旁边放一个"北大"然后一个人有三次机会,我第一次射清华,第二射北大,都失败了最后为了保险,射了最近的一块牌子,就是这个学校 A:你们那用人民币吗 B:不用,考上大学以前,我都没听过这回事 A:那你们不买东西吗 B:我们看中别人什么背着羊就去了,羊当钱使 A:快过年了,新疆让放鞭炮吗 B:谁还放鞭炮啊我们都扔手榴弹埋地雷玩!动静大喜庆

26. Conversation between two university students A: You're from Xinjiang, right? B: YES. A: Wow, that's so far away! A: Were you carrying guns when you went to class in Xinjiang? B: Yes, we did. A: You used to speak Chinese, right? B: Yeah, I just learned it on the train when I came here. A: Do you still eat raw meat? B: Our leader invented flint to start fires, so we eat grilled meat. A: Next time I go on a trip to Lhasa, I'll stay at your house, okay? B: No problem, but my house is a bit far from Lhasa. A: How do you come to school? B: We ride donkeys to Beijing and then take a plane. A: That must take a long time, right? B: Got used to it, just start half a year in advance. A: Why not ride a horse? B: In Xinjiang, riding horses is something poor people do. Those of us who passed the exam ride camels and donkeys. And there's no college entrance examination in Xinjiang. The exams are archery competitions. A sign with "Tsinghua" is placed a kilometer away, and a sign with "Peking University" is placed nearby. Each person gets three chances. I shot at Tsinghua first, then at Peking University, and both failed. In the end, for safety, I shot at the nearest sign, which is this school. A: Do you use the Renminbi there? B: No, I hadn't even heard of it before I got into college. A: Then don't you buy things? B: When we see something we like, we just go with the sheep, and the sheep is used as money. A: It's almost New Year's. Is it okay to set off fireworks in Xinjiang? B: Who sets off fireworks anymore? We just throw hand grenades and bury landmines for fun! It's loud and festive.

27. 问:3个头一只脚是什么动物 答:3个头一只脚的怪物

27. Question: What kind of animal has three heads and one foot? Answer: A monster with three heads and one foot.

28. 某人刚被女友抛弃 碰巧撞见前女友和新欢调情 越看越气,想羞辱下他们 于是很礼貌的打了招呼 并鄙视地对女友新欢说:呦,我用过的旧货你也不嫌弃 正当他为自己创意得意的时候 前女友却笑道:外面一寸是旧的,里面全是崭新的

28. Someone had just been dumped by his girlfriend and accidentally stumbled upon his ex-girlfriend with her new boyfriend, making out. The more he watched, the angrier he got, and he wanted to humiliate them. So he politely greeted them and disdainfully said to his girlfriend's new boyfriend, "Hey, you don't even mind that this is something I've used before." As he was feeling proud of his original idea, his ex-girlfriend laughed and said, "The outside is old, but the inside is all new."

29. 注意个人卫生如厕后请洗手。

29. Pay attention to personal hygiene and wash your hands after using the toilet.

30. 维护环境，人人有责。?>

30. Protecting the environment is the responsibility of everyone.

31. 想学习我，找点儿精髓，别让我一眼看穿了你。

31. If you want to learn from me, find some essence and don't let me see through you at a glance.

32. 从前，有一个捉迷藏公司，他们老板到现在还没找到

32. Long ago, there was a hide and seek company, and their boss has still not found them.

33. 北极熊和企鹅一起玩 企鹅把身上的毛都地拔了下来拔完后 对北极熊说:好冷哦 北极熊听了也把自己身上的毛都拔了下来 转头对企鹅说:果然很冷

33. The polar bear and the penguin are playing together. The penguin pulls all the fur off its body and, after doing so, says to the polar bear: "It's so cold." Upon hearing this, the polar bear also pulls all the fur off its body and turns to the penguin and says: "Indeed, it's very cold."

34. 从前有个人钓鱼,钓到了只鱿鱼 鱿鱼求他:你放了我吧，别把我烤来吃啊 那个人说:好的,那么我来考问你几个问题吧 鱿鱼很开心说:你考吧你考吧 然后这人就把鱿鱼给烤了

34. Once there was a person fishing and he caught a squid. The squid pleaded with him: "Please, let me go. Don't cook and eat me." The person replied: "Alright, then I'll ask you a few questions." The squid happily said: "Ask away, ask away." And then that person roasted the squid.

35. 一个香肠被关在冰箱里 感觉很冷,然后看了看身边的另一根 说:看你都冻成这样了,全身都是冰 那根说:对不起,我是冰棒

35. A sausage was locked in the refrigerator feeling very cold, and then it looked at the other one next to it and said, "Look at you, you're all frozen, you're covered in ice." The other one said, "Sorry, I'm an ice pop."

36. 一天,小美和她男友开车出去兜风 车快没油了,就去加油 突然一阵风把她男友的帽子刮跑了 小美的男友对她说:我去捡帽子,你帮我加油 男友刚跑开不远,就听到小美在他后面大喊:加油!加油

36. One day, Xiao Mei and her boyfriend went for a drive. The car was running low on fuel, so they stopped to refuel. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew away her boyfriend's hat. Xiao Mei's boyfriend said to her, "I'll go pick up the hat, you help me with the gas." As soon as he ran a short distance away, he heard Xiao Mei shout behind him, "Fill it up! Fill it up!"

37. 向前一步靠，滴水不外落。

37. Take a step forward, not a drop falls outside.

38. 14小坐片刻，很是舒心愉快；随手冲洗，很是文明礼貌。

38. 14 Take a short break and it is very comfortable and pleasant; rinse with ease, showing great civility and politeness.

39. 38请您”方便”后必须要：洗刷刷洗刷刷，洗刷刷洗刷刷～

39. After you are "convenient," you must: Wash, rinse, wash, rinse, wash, rinse～

40. 确切的说，我除了相信上帝之外，一点也不迷信！

40. To be precise, I am not at all superstitious except for my belief in God!

41. 前来百步紧，出后一身松。

41. The journey of a hundred steps is tight, but once out, one feels completely relaxed.

42. 大环境，小环境，干净才有好心情。

42. The great environment, the small environment, cleanliness brings good mood.

43. 老师:怎么减少白色污染 同学:把饭盒做成蓝色的

43. Teacher: How to reduce white pollution? Student: Make the lunchboxes blue.

44. 随手冲一冲，干净又轻松。

44. Give it a quick rinse, and it's clean and easy.

45. 贴近文明，靠近方便。

45. Close to civilization, close to convenience.

46. 有一对玉米相爱了于是它们决定结婚 结婚那天,玉米找不到他的妻子了 这个玉米就问身旁的爆米花:你看到我们家玉米了吗 爆米花:亲爱的,人家穿婚纱了嘛

46. A pair of corns fell in love and decided to get married. On the day of their wedding, the corn couldn't find his wife. This corn asked the popcorn next to him: Have you seen our corn? Popcorn: Darling, she's wearing a wedding dress, you know.

47. 水是生命之源，请节约每一滴水。

47. Water is the source of life, please save every drop of water.

48. 若您如厕功告成，顺手冲水了无痕。

48. If you have finished using the toilet, simply flush and there's no trace left.

49. 主持人问:猫是否会爬树 老鹰抢答:会 主持人:举例说明 老鹰含泪:那年,我睡熟了,猫爬上了树后来就有了猫头鹰

49. The host asked: "Can cats climb trees?" The eagle answered quickly: "Yes." The host said: "Please give an example." The eagle, with tears in his eyes: "That year, I was asleep, and the cat climbed the tree, and that's how the owl was born."

50. 你想念的人已不在服务区，请稍候再想。雷人语录

50. The person you miss is out of service area, please wait and think again. A bizarre saying.

51. 布和纸怕什么 布怕一万,纸怕万

51. What do cloth and paper fear? Cloth fears ten thousand, paper fears one.

52. 有两个人掉到陷阱里了 死的人叫死人,活人叫什么 答:叫救命

52. There are two people who have fallen into a trap. The one who died is called "the dead person," so what do you call the one who is alive? Answer: You call him "help me."

53. 细微之处见公德，举手之间显文明。

53. Public morality is evident in the smallest details, and civilization is shown in a lift of the hand.

54. 冲一冲，路迢迢水漫漫，给别人些方便，你为何不干？

54. Take a quick rinse, the road is long and the water is endless. Why not make it easier for others?

55. 猎人骑马带猎狗去打猎 在林子里溜了一天都没猎物 天黑了,他不甘心还是不停骑马在林子里转 马忽然说:你都不让我休息,想累死我啊 猎人听到吓了一跳,立刻从马背上滚下来 拉着猎狗就逃跑跑到一课大树下喘气时 狗拍拍胸口对他说:吓死我了,马居然会说话 猎人当场被吓死了 C!rcus 正版抄袭答案者肛裂死全家 楼主不够我还是有的加Q我传给你

55. The hunter rides a horse with his hounds to hunt. He wandered in the forest all day without catching any prey. As it got dark, he was unwilling to give up and kept riding around the forest. Suddenly, the horse said, "You won't let me rest, do you want to kill me with exhaustion?" The hunter was startled and immediately rolled off the horse, dragging the hound and running away. When he reached under a large tree to catch his breath, the dog patted his chest and said to him, "I was so scared, the horse can actually talk!" The hunter was frightened to death on the spot. C!rcus, those who plagiarize the original answers will die with anal fissures in their family. If the OP is not enough, I still have more to add. Add Q me and I will send it to you.

56. 一女遇劫匪颤抖曰:俺是X学校的,刚毕业,工作都没找到,真的没有钱 劫匪听后竟然痛哭流涕 "妹子,俺也是X学校的,你拿好学生证,前面抢劫的还是X学校的,你放心,俺绝不抢自己人!"

56. A girl was robbed and trembled, saying: "I'm from School X, just graduated, haven't found a job yet, and I really don't have any money." Upon hearing this, the robber actually cried with tears in his eyes, "Sister, I'm also from School X. Take good care of your student ID. The one who robbed you in front is also from School X. Don't worry, I will never rob my own people!"

57. 走遍天下，冲倒不平。

57. Walk through the world, uprooting injustice.

58. 你做的事，由水(谁)负责。

58. The thing you did is the responsibility of the water (who).

59. 一天,有只公鹿越跑越快,结果它变成高速公鹿了

59. One day, a male deer ran faster and faster, and eventually, it turned into a high-speed deer.

60. 你的爱就像自动售货机，只要有钱是谁都可以。

60. Your love is like a vending machine, anyone can get it as long as they have money.

61. 你不想接我电话就直说，别老是让人家移动帮你向我说对不起。

61. If you don't want to answer my calls, just say so directly, don't keep making others move to say sorry for you.

62. 来也匆匆，去请冲冲。

62. In coming, we rush; in going, we should also be hasty.

63. 小明理了头发,第二天到学校,同学们看到他的新发型 笑道:小明,你的头型好像个风筝哦 小明觉得很委屈,就跑到外面哭哭着哭着,他就飞起来了

63. Xiao Ming got a haircut, and the next day when he went to school, his classmates laughed and said, "Xiao Ming, your hairstyle looks like a kite." Xiao Ming felt very upset and ran outside, crying and crying, and then he flew up.

64. MM找大学迷路了 遇见一位文质彬彬的教授 MM:请问,我怎样才能到xx大学去 教授:只有努力读书才可以

64. MM got lost looking for the university and met a professor who was refined and courteous. MM: Excuse me, how can I get to XX University? Professor: Only by studying hard can you.

65. **:现在生意不好做呀 老大:为什么 **:禽流感

65. **Now it's not easy to do business.** Leader: Why? **Bird flu**

66. 小小一张纸细菌传千里。

66. A tiny piece of paper can spread bacteria a thousand miles.

67. 局长与科长共乘电梯 局长放一屁后对科长说:你放屁了 科长说:不是我放的 不久科长被免职 局长的理由是:屁大的事你都担待不起,要你何用

67. The director and the chief officer ride the elevator together. After the director passes gas, he tells the chief officer, "You passed gas." The chief officer replies, "It wasn't me." Soon after, the chief officer is dismissed. The director's reason is: "If you can't bear such a trivial matter, what use are you to me?"

68. 这里是厕所，环境靠大伙。左右两边站，对准再开火(男生厕所)。

68. This is the bathroom, the environment depends on everyone. Stand to the left and right, aim and then fire (male bathroom).

69. 文明手底下方便你我他。

69. It is convenient for all of us under civilization.

70. 请停留一分钟莫忘及时冲水。

70. Please stay for a minute and remember to flush in time.

71. 细微之处见公德举手之间显文明。

71. The essence of public morality is seen in the smallest details, and civilization is demonstrated in a single gesture.