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面书号 2025-01-17 05:48 8
在悠悠岁月的长河中,有一种文化,它如同璀璨的星辰,照亮了无数人的心灵。这便是“愚人节整人案”(愚人节的段子)。在这篇短文中,我们将一同揭开这神秘面纱的一角,探寻其中蕴含的欢笑与智慧。
In the long river of time, there is a culture that shines like brilliant stars, illuminating the hearts of countless people. This is the "April Fool's Day Prank" (April Fool's Day jokes). In this short article, we will together unveil a corner of this mysterious veil, exploring the laughter and wisdom it contains.
1. 你很美,你很美,鹦鹉鼻子罗圈腿,性格有点像张飞,胡子眉毛如流水,最怕见你张张嘴,龅牙出世人吓飞,见到你就往后退,口中喊着遇到鬼。
1. You are so beautiful, so beautiful, with a parrot-like nose and bow legs, a personality similar to Zhang Fei, a beard and eyebrows like flowing water. The most dreaded sight is your opening your mouth, with your protruding teeth startling people, causing them to retreat and shout that they've encountered a ghost upon seeing you.
2. 假如女人是本书,很多女人只有页:一页画着车子,一页画着房子,一页画着票子。
2. If women were books, many women would only have pages: one page with a car, one page with a house, and one page with money.
3. 通知:愚人节到了。你4月1日收到的短信都是假的,意思相反。请注意。好像怪物都是用手机看短信的!愚人节快乐!
3. Notice: April Fool's Day is here. The text messages you received on April 1st are all fake, with the opposite meaning. Please be aware. It seems like monsters are checking text messages on their phones! Happy April Fool's Day!
4. 你没睡好,()_()眼睛肿肿的,只想~~打瞌睡,送你[_]o一杯咖啡,让你@[emailprotected]提提神,努力$_$挣钱,^_^请我吃饭!
4. You haven't had a good night's sleep, your eyes are puffy, and you just want to doze off. Here's a [coffee] to help you wake up and get some energy, keep working hard to make money, and then treat me to a meal! ^_^
5. 你天生脑袋带漩,脸黑五指不见,两片菜叶掩面,江湖飞壁走檐,闹得鸡飞狗唤,美女见了傻眼。自认丐帮老大,实住精神病院。如若不服此言,愚人节再见!
5. You were born with a whirlwind in your head, your face so dark that your fingers can't be seen, two pieces of lettuce covering your face. You fly over walls and rooftops in the江湖, causing chaos that sends chickens flying and dogs barking, leaving beautiful women staring blankly. You claim to be the leader of the Beggar's Sect, but in reality, you live in a psychiatric hospital. If you don't believe me, we'll meet again on April Fool's Day!
6. “小伙子华侨城创意园怎么走“又一次被人叫住问路,换做是以前,定会指一条相反的方向告诉他,然后沾沾自喜的感觉自己整蛊到人了,但是现在我没有,也许已经过了幼稚的年纪。我耐心的告诉他:”前面过两个红绿灯,第二个十字路口左转,再走50米会看到一个步行街,那条街上人多你问问他们怎么走”
6. "How do I get to the Nanshan Creative Park for Young People?" The question was asked again, and if it were in the past, I would have pointed in the opposite direction and felt pleased with myself for pulling a prank. But now, I don't have that feeling, perhaps because I've passed the age of immaturity. I patiently told him: "Go past two traffic lights, turn left at the second intersection, walk for another 50 meters, and you'll see a pedestrian street. There are a lot of people on that street, so you can ask them how to get there."
7. 愚人节,愚弄你,我“愚”心何忍不愚弄你,我“愚”郁寡欢!为了“愚”你同乐,我“愚”驾亲征,多年交情,才“愚”重心长劝你:愚人节快乐!
7. On April Fool's Day, I trick you, how can I bear not to trick you, for I am too "foolish" to not do so, and I am too "foolish" to not be cheerful! In order to share the "foolish" joy with you, I "foolishly" take the lead in this campaign. With years of friendship, I "foolishly" have deep concern for you and sincerely advise you: Have a happy April Fool's Day!
8. "公车中,一位站着的孕妇对她身旁坐着的男子说:你不知道我怀孕了吗?只见男子很紧张地说:孩子不是我的!"
8. "In the government car, a pregnant woman standing next to her said to the man sitting beside her: 'Don't you know I'm pregnant?' The man looked very nervous and replied: 'The child is not mine!'"
9. 亲爱的用户:您好,由于日本核电站爆炸辐射一直蔓延,今日您的手机可能没有信号或者无法接通,届时请将手机往地上摔即可恢复正常。愚人节快乐。
9. Dear User: Hello, due to the radiation from the Japanese nuclear power plant explosion spreading, your phone may not have signal or be unreachable today. In that case, please摔 your phone to the ground and it should resume normal function. Happy April Fool's Day.
10. 愚人节到心花放,骗人理由很正当。高手之间过过招,低手被愚很正常。花样百出不同样,愚人被愚笑声扬。智商不论高与低,被愚下场都一样。祝你愚人节快乐!
10. On April Fool's Day, hearts bloom with joy, and the reasons for fooling others are quite legitimate. Among the experts, a battle of wits takes place, and it's quite normal for the less skilled to be fooled. With a hundred different tricks, the fool becomes the butt of laughter. Whether one's IQ is high or low, the outcome of being fooled is the same. Happy April Fool's Day to you!
11. 风撩起你的长发,你显得更潇洒!浪花拍打你的脚丫,你显得更无暇!你迎着东方的朝霞,就像一朵海浪花!
11. The wind stirs your long hair, making you look even more stylish! The waves lap at your feet, making you appear even more flawless! You face the morning glow of the east, like a spray of sea waves!
12. 微愚,略愚,稍愚,较愚,很愚,特愚,暴愚,雷愚,愚无敌。月日快到了,你的愚人指数正直线上升,已接近极限标准。愚人节,你愚,你快乐!
12. A little foolish, somewhat foolish, slightly foolish, rather foolish, very foolish, extremely foolish, brutally foolish, thunderously foolish, unfathomably foolish. The time of the Moon and the Day is approaching, and your foolishness index is rising straight up, almost reaching the standard limit. On April Fool's Day, you fool, you are happy!
13. 如果你很忙,我愿做只陀螺,围着你转;如果你很快乐,我愿做颗开心果,随你唠嗑;如果你很有钱嘿嘿,把手举起来,打劫!
13. If you're busy, I'd like to be a top that spins around you; if you're happy, I'd like to be a happy nut that chatters with you; if you're rich, hehe, raise your hand, let's rob you!
14. 顾客:“我要投诉,自打我用了从你们这里买的生发水后,我的头发怎么全脱掉了?”售货员:“先生。要想长出新头发,就必须先给它腾地方。”
14. Customer: "I want to make a complaint. Since I started using the hair regrowth product I bought from you, all my hair has fallen out." Salesperson: "Sir, in order for new hair to grow, you must first make room for it."
15. 为什么离开你让我久久难以忘怀为什么你会如此令我牵肠挂肚?为什么你总是出现在我梦中?我深思熟虑了很久,终于明白:因为你还欠我一顿饭?
15. Why does leaving you make me so hard to forget? Why do you make me so attached and worried? Why do you always appear in my dreams? I have pondered deeply for a long time and finally understand: because you still owe me a meal?
16. 在你的眉宇间我看到沧桑,在你的眼中我看到自信,在你的额头我看到岁月,在你的唇齿间我看到韭菜,快去刷牙!
16. In your brow, I see the wear of time; in your eyes, I see confidence; on your forehead, I see the passing of years; between your lips and teeth, I see chives. Hurry up and brush your teeth!
17. 偶尔要回头看看,否则永远都在追寻,而不知道自己失去了什么。
17. Sometimes it is necessary to look back, otherwise you will always be chasing after something without realizing what you have lost.
18. 这条短信贼好,收到的无烦恼,阅读的痛苦少,转发的薪水高,群发的捡钞票。内容是:愚人节里开玩笑,把握尺度很重要。真诚相待开心就好!
18. This short message is fantastic! Receiving it brings no烦恼, reading it causes little pain, forwarding it earns a high salary, and mass-forwarding it is like picking up money. The content is: On April Fool's Day, playing jokes is important to keep the scale in check. Treat each other sincerely and be happy!
19. 你站在人群中,柔风吹起的长发,像世界上最美的旋律,久久回荡在我心中,让我想说:你的假发要掉了愚人节快乐!
19. Amid the crowd, your long hair, blown by the gentle breeze, resonates in my heart like the most beautiful melody in the world, lingering for a long time. It makes me want to say: Your wig is about to fall off! Happy April Fool's Day!
20. 你长得真不够巧,鼻子好像老油条;眼睛好像红辣椒;眉毛好像两把刀;走起路来两边倒;像只螃蟹还喝高。
20. You're not very dexterous-looking; your nose seems like it's always greasy; your eyes look like red chili peppers; your eyebrows look like two knives; you sway from side to side when you walk; you're like a crab and you drink heavily.
21. 总有一件事,一辈子不会忘记,却一辈子不再提起;总有一段情,一生时不时想起,却一直铭记在遥远的脑海里。总有一个人,一世常常记起,却永远生活在孤寂的心底。噢,亲爱的,你是谁,俺咋一时想不起来了。
21. There is always something that you will never forget in your lifetime but never mention again; there is always a feeling that occasionally crosses your mind throughout your life, but is always cherished in the distant corners of your memory. There is always someone who you often think of throughout your life, yet forever lives in the solitude of your heart. Oh, my dear, who are you, for I can't recall you suddenly.
22. 娱乐有理,整人无罪。愚人节将至,为掀起整人新高潮,特邀你出席年度整人大典,角逐“整蛊教主”,胜出者将获金猪头一个,预祝你旗开得胜!
22. It's reasonable to entertain, but it's innocent to prank. As愚人节 (April Fool's Day) is approaching, we are particularly inviting you to attend the annual prank festival to compete for the title of "Master of Pranks." The winner will receive a golden pig's head as a prize. Wishing you a victorious start!
23. 你爱好清洁每天拖地,你身材妙曼亭亭玉立,你性格羞赧默默无语,你世外仙姝独行特立,你任劳任怨毫无娇气,你会传为佳话,可爱的拖把!
23. You enjoy cleanliness, mopping the floor every day, your figure is slender and graceful, your personality shy and silent, you are an ethereal maiden who stands alone and is distinct, you endure hardship and never show any petulance, and you will be hailed as a legend, dear mop!
24. 孩子。改天你家电脑中病毒了。就说明你长大了。
24. Child. One day when your computer gets a virus at home, it means you've grown up.
25. 听众朋友,欢迎您收听天气预报,自4月1号起,我市将出现雷雨天气,届时会出现较多雷电现象,在此我们提醒您,出门时请把手机放在头上,并将手机充电器置于身后,用于避雷!切忌!
25. Dear listeners, welcome to the weather forecast. Starting from April 1st, our city will experience thunderstorm weather, with an increased occurrence of lightning phenomena. Here, we remind you to keep your mobile phone on top of your head when you go out, and place your mobile phone charger behind you, for lightning protection! Be cautious!
26. 上司:就是经常开空头支票忽悠你的人;对手:就是经常因为你不开心而开心的人;朋友:就是经常三更半夜毫无理由骚扰你的人;我:对不起,骚扰你了。
26. Boss: The one who often gives you empty promises and deceives you; Rival: The person who often feels happy because you are not happy; Friend: The one who often disturb you at midnight for no reason; Me: Sorry, I disturbed you.
27. 有没有人曾告诉你:你长的很有一套浓眉大眼像朱时茂,鼻梁高挺像健仓高,嘴角一撇比那星仔超。愚你一把,涮你一票:愚人节快乐!
27. Has anyone ever told you: You have a very distinctive look with thick eyebrows and big eyes like Zhu Shimao, a high and straight nose bridge like Jian Cang, and a smirk that surpasses that of Star Kid. I'll fool you a bit, take a vote from you: Happy April Fool's Day!
28. 同学聚会说要打麻将,我不会,于是学霸同学跟我说了一个牛逼的公式:nAAA+mABC+DD就胡了,mn可以等于0,一分钟就学会了麻将。
28. At the classmates' reunion, they said they would play Mahjong, but I didn't know how. Then, the ace student told me an amazing formula: nAAA + mABC + DD and you will get a "hu" (a winning hand in Mahjong). mn can be equal to 0, and you can learn Mahjong in one minute.
29. 草原上有匹神马,可惜没有名字,一天上帝路过,神马上前求上帝给起个名字,上帝说:你是万里挑一的神马,就叫万一吧
29. There was a divine horse in the grasslands, unfortunately it had no name. One day, God passed by, and the divine horse approached God, asking Him to give it a name. God said: "You are a divine horse chosen from ten thousand, so let's call you 'Wanyi'."
30. 昨天,我和朋友打了个赌。我说:世界上没有比猪更蠢的了。结果我输了,这都是你的错。请请我吃饭!!抚平我失落的心。
30. Yesterday, I made a bet with a friend. I said: There is nothing dumber than a pig in the world. It turned out that I lost, and it's all your fault. Please treat me to a meal!! Heal my heart of sadness.
31. 愚人节三从四德:从离得最近的下手,从关系最亲的下手,从脾气最好的下手;同学可以骗得,同事可以整得,密友可以逗得,恋人可以戏得。
31. April Fool's Day "Three obediences and four virtues": Start with the one closest to you, the one with the closest relationship, and the one with the best temper; you can trick classmates, fool colleagues, amuse close friends, and play around with lovers.
32. 抛砖引玉变财人;欲火中烧是*人;欲速不达变狂人;金玉其外败絮其中,是废人;最后你穿潜水服沙滩练潜水,变成十足的愚人。愚人节“愚”你同乐!
32. He who throws a brick to attract jade becomes a treasure getter; he who is burning with desire is a man; he who desires to achieve quickly becomes a fool; he who is outwardly dressed in gold and jade but inwardly filled with rags is a废物; finally, you put on a diving suit and practice diving on the beach, becoming a complete fool.愚人节快乐,愚人节与您共享欢乐!
33. 宇哥,在这个所有中国人都可以犯傻的大日子里,我祝你永远傻瓜永远不要改变主意,因为傻瓜尽情享受吧。傻瓜曼干坤,傻瓜开心,傻瓜增添快乐。。。。。哦,跑题了,愚人节快乐!
33. Yu Ge, on this day when everyone in China can act foolish, I wish you to be a fool forever and never change your mind, because as a fool, enjoy to the fullest. Fool Man Gangkun, a fool is happy, a fool adds joy to life....... Oh, off-topic, Happy April Fool's Day!
34. 拔苗助长是荒诞,掩耳盗铃是蛮干。草船借箭是妙算,破釜沉舟是决战。风花雪月是浪漫,舍生取义是奉献。你若继续往下看,你就是个笨蛋!愚人节快乐!
34. Rushing the crops is absurd, and covering one's ears to steal a bell is sheer foolishness. Borrowing arrows with a bamboo boat is a cunning plan, and burning boats and sinking bridges is a decisive battle. Wind, flowers, snow, and moon are romantic, and sacrificing one's life for righteousness is dedication. If you continue to read down, you're a fool! Happy April Fool's Day!
35. 丑小鸭虽然在乡下,却有着远大的志向,一直在默默努力。终于到了这一天,他收拾好行囊向鸭妈妈辞行说:“妈妈,再见,我要上京赶烤去了。”发个冷笑话,让你凉快凉快,哈哈!
35. The Ugly Duckling, though in the countryside, had great ambitions and worked diligently in silence. Finally, the day came when he packed his belongings and bid farewell to Duck Mother, saying, "Mom, goodbye, I'm going to the capital to take the roast!" Here's a cold joke to cool you down,哈哈!
36. 18。通知:明天上午有领导视查工作,各位同事请按要求统一着装。男士:西装领带短裤拖鞋;女士:泳装西裤皮鞋!
36. 18. Notice: There will be a leadership inspection of work tomorrow morning. Please wear uniforms as required, colleagues. Men: suit, tie, shorts, slippers; Women: swimsuit, trousers, leather shoes!
37. 手机新用途:适用人群为年轻女性,用法:手机调至振动,轮流放入左右上衣口袋,拨打数遍。十日见效 ,丰乳没商量!
37. New use for mobile phones: Suitable for young women. Usage: Set the mobile phone to vibrate, take turns placing it in the left and right pockets of the tops, and call multiple times. Expect to see results in ten days – breast enhancement guaranteed!
38. 烦躁时,你对我免打扰;思念时,你亲我的耳梢;无助时,你对我声声问好;快乐时,你伴我手舞足蹈;没有你,我不知如何是好!愚人节说声谢谢你:手机。
38. When I'm restless, you leave me undisturbed; when I miss you, you kiss the tip of my ear; when I'm helpless, you greet me with kind words; when I'm happy, you dance with me with joy; without you, I don't know what to do! On April Fool's Day, I want to say thank you: my phone.
39. 今天我把手机掏,发条信息给草包,草包看完咧嘴笑,知道自己节日到,这条短信我买单,然后请我吃大餐,识相快把我呼叫,别急,立刻就到!
39. Today, I pull out my phone, send a message to the dummy, and the dummy smiles after reading it, knowing that the festival has arrived. I'll pay for this text message, and then he invites me to a big meal. If you're sensible, call me quickly, don't worry, I'll be there in a jiffy!
40. 金灿灿的,是阳光;红彤彤的,是灯笼;香喷喷的,是米饭;热腾腾的,是火锅;火辣辣的,是烈酒;麻酥酥的,是你……又触电了吧,早就你别看短信的!
40. Golden and bright is the sunshine; red and warm are the lanterns; fragrant are the rice; steaming hot is the hotpot; fiery hot is the strong liquor; numbingly pleasant is you... You've been zapped again, I've warned you not to read the text messages!
41. 今天搞活开放,规则甩到一旁。君子可以上梁,红杏可以出墙。“老二”心头嘹亮,“小三”入室登堂。兑现所有梦想,朋友骗你没商量。愚人节快乐!
41. Today, we are lively and open, tossing the rules aside. A gentleman can rise to the top, and a red peach can climb over the wall. The "second" is cheerful in his heart, and the "third" enters the house and ascends the hall. Fulfill all your dreams, and friends will cheat you without a moment's hesitation. Happy April Fool's Day!
42. 有一天领侄子去上街碰见前女友。前女友结婚后,领着她老公,想羞辱我一番。于是说:“结婚没啊!”我正在想怎么回答她。突然侄子说:“爸爸我们去吃冰淇淋吧!”之后又对我前女友说:“妈妈,你怎么这么长时间不来看我啊!”之后前女友老公凌乱了。
42. One day, while taking my nephew out for a stroll, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. After getting married, she brought her husband along and seemed to want to humiliate me. She said, "Are you still single?" I was thinking of how to answer her when suddenly my nephew said, "Dad, let's go eat some ice cream!" Then he turned to my ex-girlfriend and said, "Mom, why haven't you come to visit me for so long?" After that, her husband was completely thrown off.
43. 尊敬的用户,为使您在4月1日愚人节这天保持清醒不受欺骗,特提供智慧宝典速成,只要您连续读“我是二百五”十遍即可学会。祝愚人节快乐!
43. Esteemed user, in order to keep you alert and not deceived on April 1st, the Day of Fools, we offer a quick guide to wisdom. Just read "I am a fool" ten times consecutively, and you will learn it. Happy April Fool's Day!
44. 曾经的你,衣着华丽,总是梦想着满汉全席。于是我夏天就想泡你,你说太热了。冬天想泡你,你说太冷了。春秋天想泡你,你说不冷不热的还想泡我。我就纳了闷了,你不就是一包泡面吗,怎么就那么多的事!
44. Once upon a time, you dressed in splendor, always dreaming of a feast with both Manchu and Han cuisine. So I wanted to spend time with you in summer, but you said it was too hot. In winter, I wanted to spend time with you, but you said it was too cold. In spring and autumn, I wanted to spend time with you, but you said it was neither too hot nor too cold, but still wanted to spend time with me. Then I was baffled, isn't it just a package of instant noodles, why are there so many things about it!
45. 在外面摆摊算卦,刚要给一美女算卦,突然下雨了。她一看下雨了,起身就走。我连忙问她:“心诚则灵,这么一点点小雨,就打败你了吗?”她边走边说:“反正你算的也不准,灵不了!”我有些激动:“还没算呢,你怎么就知道不准!”“呵呵,你要是准,你能不带伞出门吗?挨淋了吧!”
45. I was setting up to give a fortune-telling reading to a beautiful woman outside when it suddenly started to rain. She saw the rain and got up to leave. I hurriedly asked her, "If you are sincere, it will work, but can a little bit of rain defeat you?" As she walked away, she replied, "Anyway, your fortune-telling isn't accurate, it won't work!" I got a bit excited and said, "We haven't even started yet, how can you be so sure it's not accurate!" "Haha, if you were accurate, could you have gone out without an umbrella? You got wet, right!"
46. 粉红花骨朵,白白小熊衫,蹦蹦跳跳小碎步,甜甜蜜蜜浅笑颜。最可爱的造型,最活泼的行径,过最欢快的愚人节!朋友,节日快乐!
46. Pink blossom buds, a white little bear sweater, hopping and skipping with small steps, a sweet and charming smile. The cutest look, the most lively demeanor, celebrating the happiest April Fool's Day! Friend, happy holiday!
47. 现在有不少非主流女生喜欢在聊天时把“我”写成这个“莪”,其实,这是在暗示着什么……
47. Now, there are many non-mainstream girls who like to write "I" as this "莪" when chatting. In fact, this is a hint at something...
48. 孔子曰:中午不睡,下午崩溃。孟子曰:孔子说的对!
48. Confucius said: "If you don't take a nap at noon, you'll collapse in the afternoon." Mencius said: "Confucius is right!"
49. 茫茫人海中,为你怦然心动,你好似不在意的表情,却让我隐隐作痛,你的漠然让我不敢表白心迹,可我不能自拔,现在我要你明白……你踩着我脚啦!
49. Amidst the vast sea of people, I am moved by you, your seemingly indifferent expression, yet it causes me a faint ache. Your indifference makes me dare not confess my feelings, but I cannot pull myself away. Now, I want you to understand... You've stepped on my foot!
50. 猜一个生活中常见的短语:一个傻瓜往往不知道智者提出的一个问题的答案。(很难猜,你知不知道?)
50. Guess a commonly used phrase in everyday life: A fool often doesn't know the answer to a question posed by a wise person. (It's hard to guess, do you know it?)
51. 不知道说什么不合适,因为涉及到不可说的隐私;我不知道该不该联系你,但这对你太重要了。经过激烈的思想斗争,我终于鼓起勇气说:愚人节快乐!
51. I don't know what's inappropriate to say, as it involves unspeakable privacy; I'm not sure if I should contact you, but this is too important to you. After a fierce battle with my thoughts, I finally gathered the courage to say: Happy April Fool's Day!
52. 上帝说满足我一个愿望,我说要世界和平,他说太难换一个吧,我拿出你的照片说要这个人变得漂亮点,他沉思了一下说:拿地球仪我再看看。愚人节快乐!
52. God said, "Grant me one wish," and I said, "I want world peace." He replied, "That's too difficult, let's try another one." I took out your photo and said, "Make this person look prettier." He thought for a moment and said, "Let me see it with a globe." Happy April Fool's Day!
53. 我明白,发给你的每条短信都让你刻骨铭心!我了解,写给你的每个字都让你废寝忘食!但我想知道,欠我的那顿饭,你啥时候请?
53. I understand that every single text message I send to you is engraved in your heart! I know that every word I write to you makes you forget to eat and sleep! But I want to know, when are you going to treat me to that meal you owe me?
54. 请用三个字形容你现在的情绪:烦着呢、吃点嘛、想骂人、困死了、很充实、有点闷、很清闲、活太累、想旅游、很无奈、很开心、还活着、青春期、更年期、生病了、压力大、很纠结、没人陪、很寂寞、堕落了。如果你没得选择,那么说明,你想我了。
54. Describe your current mood in three words: bothered, hungry, want to curse, exhausted, very fulfilling, a bit bored, very idle, too tired, want to travel, so无奈, very happy, still alive, adolescence, menopause, sick, stressed, so confused, no one to accompany, very lonely, fallen. If you have no choice, then it means, you miss me.
55. 自那次邂逅,我的只眼睛再没离开你,生有幸成为你红颜,今想你次,相思泪成河,漂着零落的记忆和雀跃的心,说话,今天是愚人节。
55. Since that encounter, my only eye has never left you. It's a great fortune to become your beauty. Today, I think of you once more, and my yearning tears have become a river, floating with scattered memories and a joyful heart. Speaking of which, today is April Fool's Day.
56. 一对年轻情侣每天都要通过电话传情。有一天,男友感冒,嗓子哑了。女孩子不知道这样,打个电话过来,说:“亲爱的,我很想你!”然后,男孩子嘶哑地对她说:“亲爱的,我也很想你!”女孩子心里一愣,然后说:“不好意思,伯父,我找您儿子。”
56. A young couple had to express their feelings through phone calls every day. One day, the boyfriend caught a cold and his throat was hoarse. The girl didn't know about this, so she called and said, "Dear, I miss you so much!" Then, the boy, in a hoarse voice, replied, "Dear, I miss you too!" The girl was taken aback and then said, "Sorry, uncle, I'm looking for your son."
57. 昨天看电视说“吸烟导致猝死”吓的我心里哆嗦!我一咬牙一跺脚下定决心!“以后不看电视了。”
57. Yesterday, watching TV, I was scared by the phrase "Smoking leads to sudden death" and trembled in fear! I bit my teeth and stamped my feet, determined, "I won't watch TV anymore."
58. 喂,当你看到短信后,赶紧带上一百万,一个人到后山上,不许打电话报警,要不然我们撕票,记得不许报警啊,记得不许生气啊,哈哈,朋友,逗你玩呢?愚人节快乐!
58. Hey, after you see this text message, quickly bring one million yuan and go alone to the back mountain. Don't call the police, or else we'll pull the trigger. Remember not to call the police, and remember not to get angry, ha ha, my friend, just playing around with you? Happy April Fool's Day!
59. 大学宿舍里,一个人在声嘶力竭地唱着摇滚:我要改变,我要改变,我要改变看书书虫抬头惊讶地问:厕所不是空的吗?
59. In the university dormitory, someone is singing rock music at the top of their lungs: "I want to change, I want to change, I want to change!" A bookworm looks up in surprise and asks: "Aren't the toilets empty?"
60. 你比我高,你的皮肤比我好,你的眼睛比我大,比我漂亮,你的身材比我苗条,但是你知道,没有我,你怎么会在这里?信不信由你,我可以拆了你的房子。!
60. You are taller than me, your skin is better than mine, your eyes are bigger and prettier than mine, and your figure is slimmer than mine, but you know, without me, how would you be here? Believe it or not, I could tear your house down!
61. 一同学有300斤。一日体检,医生看了他的体形,说:“不用称了,自己写吧。”那哥们拿着笔犹豫半天,觉得写150kg不好看,写了个015吨。
61. A classmate weighs 300 jin (a traditional Chinese unit of weight). One day during a physical examination, the doctor looked at his physique and said, "No need to weigh, just write it down yourself." The guy hesitated for a while with the pen in hand, feeling that writing "150 kg" didn't look good, so he wrote "015 tons" instead.
62. 八戒化斋一直未归。这天,一个酷似八戒的人从远处走来,悟空说可能是妖精,唐僧说:发条短信试试,回的就是八戒,不回就是妖精!
62. Bajie has not returned from his begging for alms. On this day, a person who closely resembles Bajie walked from a distance. Sun Wukong said it might be a monster, but Tang Sanzang suggested: "Send a text message to test it out. If he responds, it's Bajie; if not, it's a monster!"
63. 我以45度角仰望你,望着你那高大挺拔的身材,威严不动的站姿,一副泰山崩于前而不乱的模样。我想说的是,你怎么能这么淡定呢?电线杆!
63. I gaze up at you at a 45-degree angle, admiring your tall and upright figure, your dignified, unyielding posture, a demeanor that remains unruffled even in the face of a mountain collapsing. What I want to say is, how can you be so calm? Electric pole!
64. 我用了个小技巧,就使我**中奖机率增加了一倍!就是买两张**!
64. I used a little trick that doubled my chances of winning! It's just buying two tickets!
65. 哥们,最近忙啥呢?好怀念和你在一起胡吹乱侃随意聊天无拘无束无忧无虑的逍遥日子。呵呵,那天--就是你最卖萌的那天我看见你了,你坐在太阳底下,好不自在。我问你在干嘛,你神秘一笑:“小声点,等我晒黑了就没人说我是白痴了!”
65. Hey, buddy, what have you been up to lately? I really miss those carefree days when we would chat, blow bubbles, and talk freely without any constraints or worries. Haha, that day -- the day when you were being the cutest -- I saw you. You were sitting under the sun, looking quite uncomfortable. I asked you what you were doing, and you smiled mysteriously, "Keep it down, I'll be nobody's fool once I get a tan!"