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1. 曾一起走过的曾经，曾一起许下的约定，分开之后，就要安静。

1. The memories of times we've walked together, the promises we've made, after parting, we should be quiet.

2. 你只管负责精彩 ，上帝自有安排

2. You just take care of the精彩, God has his own arrangements.

3. 姐姐的爱从来只给值得的人，其他人请你们滚到一边别碍眼。

3. My sister's love is always given to those who deserve it; the rest of you, please step aside and don't get in the way.

4. 上帝上帝、希望俺以后的同桌即是校草，又是学霸。

4. God, God, I hope that my future classmate will be both the school's most handsome guy and a top scholar.

5. 麦兜暗恋的是谁？答案：机器猫。因为《麦兜响（想）叮当》

5. Who does Makco secretly like? Answer: The Catbus. Because of "Makco's Ding Dong Dream."

6. 不要轻易原谅伤害你的人。插刀的是别人，拔刀的是你自己。

6. Do not easily forgive those who have hurt you. The one who stabs is someone else, but the one who pulls out the knife is yourself.

7. 聪明是智慧者的天敌，傻瓜用嘴讲话，聪明的人用脑袋讲话，智慧的人用心讲话。

7. Wisdom is the archenemy of the clever, the fool speaks with his mouth, the clever speak with their heads, and the wise speak with their hearts.

8. 镀锌的棺材当然比较耐用，但木制棺材有益于健康。

8. Zinc-coated coffins are indeed more durable, but wooden coffins are beneficial to health.

9. 诗放在心里，奶油抹在嘴上。

9. Poem in the heart, cream on the lips.

10. 女：我想找个男朋友。男：我帮你，“我们宿舍有个还不错”。女：我跟他在一起你不心疼吗？。男：想多了吧？放心我跟他没什么的。

10. Woman: I want to find a boyfriend. Man: I'll help you, "there's someone pretty good in our dormitory." Woman: Do you feel sad if I get together with him? Man: Too much thinking, don't worry, I have nothing to do with him.

11. 出尔反尔是我的作风，众叛亲离是我的现状，长命百岁是我的结果。

11. Changing my mind is my style, being deserted by both friends and relatives is my current situation, and living to be a hundred is my outcome.

12. 最悲催的事情就是，闺蜜喜欢你男友，你男友的哥们喜欢你！

12. The most tragic thing is that your best friend likes your boyfriend, and your boyfriend's friends like you!

13. 一猴子吃花生前都要先塞进屁股再拿出来吃。对此管理员解释道：曾有人喂它桃子，结果桃核拉不出来，猴子吓怕了，现在一定要量好再吃。

13. Before a monkey eats peanuts, it has to stuff them into its buttocks and then take them out to eat. The administrator explained: Someone once fed it peaches, but the peach pit couldn't be pulled out, frightening the monkey. Now it has to measure the amount before eating.

14. 学会了高傲，学会了不低头。天生骄傲，不喜退让。

14. Learned to be proud, learned not to bow one's head. Born with pride, not fond of yielding.

15. 男人的胸怀是委屈撑大的，多一点委屈，少一些脾气你会更快乐。

15. A man's bosom swells with grievances. The more grievances you endure, the less temper you have, and the happier you will be.

16. 闹钟响了，闹醒了我沉重滴驱壳，缺闹不醒我沉睡滴心。

16. The alarm clock rang, waking my heavy, sleepy body, but it couldn't wake my slumbering heart.

17. 让一个女生疯掉只需两步：第一步，给她拍照；第二步，不让她看照片。

17. It takes only two steps to drive a girl crazy: the first step is to take her picture; the second step is to not let her see the picture.

18. 嘻嘻和哈哈是一对好朋友，非常要好的朋友。 有一天，哈哈死了。嘻嘻很难过，他走到哈哈的坟前说："哈哈，你死了。

18. XiXi and HaHa were a pair of good friends, very close friends. One day, HaHa died. XiXi was very sad, and he went to HaHa's grave and said, "HaHa, you are dead."

19. 你看，总有那么多的事情让你伤感：阴晴圆缺，悲欢离合，阳痿早泄…

19. You see, there are always so many things that make you feel sad: the rise and fall of the moon, joy and sorrow, separation and reunion, impotence and premature ejaculation...

20. 如果你现在不喜欢我，那就赶紧学着喜欢我。

20. If you don't like me now, then hurry up and learn to like me.

21. 我假装不爱你与你假装还爱我一样，都是一种心酸的臭不要脸

21. Pretending not to love you is as heartbreaking and shameless as you pretending to still love me.

22. 你有什么资格在我的世界里疯狂？

22. What qualifications do you have to be crazy in my world?

23. 我的未来就是个梦，更遗憾的是，这会儿还失眠。

23. My future is just a dream, and the more regrettable part is that I'm experiencing insomnia right now.

24. 不会拍人马屁，认风景。

24. Not good at flattering people, but appreciate the scenery.

25. 深深地伤害了最爱我的那个人，那一刻，我听到他心碎的声音，直到转身离去，我才发现，原来那声心碎，其实，也是我自己的……

25. I deeply wounded the one who loves me the most. At that moment, I heard the sound of his heart shattering, and it wasn't until I turned to leave that I realized that the sound of his heart shattering was actually my own as well...

26. 你的脖子真可爱，上面有个猪头。

26. Your neck is so cute, with a pig head on it.

27. 平时骂你就算了，非要等我打你，才知道我文武双全。

27. It's okay for you to curse me all the time, but you had to wait until I hit you to know that I am skilled in both literature and martial arts.

28. 希望自己成熟稳重，在一次抢救中活下来。越活越好。

28. Hope to become mature and stable, and survive in a rescue operation. The better I live, the better.

29. 从前有一个小黄瓜 她觉得自己脸上的粉刺太多了就把自己切片敷脸了

29. Once upon a time, there was a little cucumber. She felt that there were too many pimples on her face, so she sliced herself and applied it to her face.

30. 洒脱一点，酷一点，不辜负自己的野心。

30. Be more relaxed, cooler, and don't辜负 (fail to live up to) your ambition.

31. 金刚是脑袋被门夹了的笨蛋；你见过椰子树长香蕉么？

31. The Jinguang is a fool whose head was squashed by a door; have you ever seen a coconut tree grow bananas?

32. 我想我应该去减肥了，上次献血的时候，居然流出了一百毫升的猪油。

32. I think I should lose weight. When I last donated blood, I actually released a hundred milliliters of lard.

33. 我们已经不是小孩子了不是一根棒棒糖就能哄的 至少要根

33. We are no longer children; a lollipop won't do it. At least we need something...

34. 宝贝儿，你骚就骚出档次，贱就贱出创意。您成天在有女友的爷们前搔首弄姿的，不叫性感。

34. Darling, be slutty with class and cheap with creativity. Constantly fluttering and flouncing in front of men who already have girlfriends doesn't count as性感 (sexiness).

35. 又酷又霸气的经典搞笑语录大全

35. A collection of classic funny quotes that are both cool and domineering.

36. 鱼和熊掌不可兼得，只有穷和单可以，丑和丑都可以。

36. Fish and bear's paws cannot be had at the same time; only poverty and solitude can be achieved, and so can ugliness and ugliness.

37. 慈善必须以商业的计划执行，以商业的形式执行，慈善才能走得久走得长。

37. Charity must be executed with the plans of commerce and in the form of business in order for it to go far and last long.

38. 话说沙尘暴吹到台湾。许多老人走上街头，张开双手，45度仰望天空，泪流满面，深呼吸，激动地说道：60年了，60年了，终于闻到家乡的泥土味了。

38. It is said that the sandstorm swept over Taiwan. Many elderly people walked out onto the streets, opened their hands, looked up at the sky at a 45-degree angle, tears streaming down their faces, took deep breaths, and said with emotion: "Sixty years, sixty years, finally, I smell the soil of my hometown."

39. 从现在开始，除了你自己，不要请任何人。

39. From now on, do not ask anyone else except yourself.

40. 18岁了，祝我生日嗨皮，今后不能做违法乱纪的事情了。

40. I'm 18 now, wish me a happy birthday, and from now on, I can't do illegal things anymore.

41. 别担心。我给你找借口。

41. Don't worry. I'll find an excuse for you.

42. 感谢时间，成长不期而遇。

42. Thank you, time, for the unexpected encounter with growth.

43. 曾经有一个加衣的机会摆在我面前我没有去珍惜，直到感冒了才后悔莫及，如果上天再给我一个重新来过的机会，我会毫不犹豫地加上我所有的衣服。

43. There was once an opportunity to dress warmly in front of me, which I did not cherish. It was only until I caught a cold that I regretted it deeply. If heaven were to give me another chance to start over, I would not hesitate to put on all my clothes.

44. 眼里满是阳光，笑的都是敞开的。

44. The eyes are filled with sunlight, and the smiles are all open and welcoming.

45. 波大精深，言简意赅的概括了作为一个优秀女人和一个优秀男人的必备要素！

45. Broad and profound, it succinctly summarizes the essential elements required to be an outstanding woman and an outstanding man!

46. 你有你的社会， 我有我的团队

46. You have your society, I have my team.

47. 留下的是风景，留下的是生活。

47. What remains are the landscapes, what remains is life.

48. 为了好看的衣服，值得的人，要努力。

48. For beautiful clothes, worthy people should strive.

49. 免费是世界上最昂贵的东西。所以尽量不要免费。等你有了钱以后再考虑免费。

49. Free is the most expensive thing in the world. So try to avoid free as much as possible. Think about free only after you have money.

50. 我有棱角有脾气有毒有扎人的刺，别因为好奇而靠近我。

50. I have edges, tempers, poison, and thorny spikes. Don't come near me out of curiosity.

51. 太空行走这么危险的事情都很安全，喝奶这么安全的事却很危险！

51. Such dangerous things as spacewalks are safe, but something as safe as drinking milk is dangerous!

52. 温柔是必要的，但绝对不是为了妥协。

52. Gentleness is necessary, but it is never about compromise.

53. 每个班都有那么一伙人，试卷发回来后看见小伙伴的分数就哈哈大笑，但是他们的关系总是最铁的。

53. In every class, there's a group of people who laugh heartily upon seeing their classmates' scores on the returned exams, but their relationships are always the strongest.

54. 三男子去女方提亲，家长：说说各自情况。A：我有1000万；B：我有一栋豪宅，价值2000万；女方家长很满意，就问C，你家有什么？C答：我什么都没有，只有一个孩子。现在孩子在你女儿的肚子里。AB无语，走了。这个案例告诉了我们一个浅显的道理，核心竞争力不是钱和房子，是在关键的岗位上，要有自己的人

54. Three men went to the bride's family to propose marriage. The parents said, "Tell us about yourselves." A: I have 10 million; B: I have a mansion worth 20 million. The bride's parents were very satisfied and asked C, "What do you have in your family?" C replied: "I have nothing except for a child. The child is now in your daughter's womb." A and B were speechless and left. This case tells us a simple truth: the core competitiveness is not money and houses, but having your own people in key positions.

55. 诚信绝对不是一种销售，更不是一种高深空洞的理念，它是实实在在的言出必行、点点滴滴的细节。

55. Integrity is absolutely not a form of sales, nor is it a profound and hollow concept; it is a matter of walking the talk, down to every single detail.

56. 喜欢归喜欢，但永远不一定要你。

56. You can like it all you want, but it doesn't always have to be you.

57. 无人站你前面为你挡枪口， 就自己做英雄

57. No one stands in front of you to take the bullet, so you make yourself a hero.

58. 我不够好，让身边的人一次又一次的走，以后也不会了。

58. I'm not good enough, causing those around me to leave one after another, and it won't be any different in the future.

59. 我爱你时，你说什么就是什么。 我不爱你时，你说你是什么。

59. When I love you, whatever you say is true. When I don't love you, you can be whatever you say.

60. 老娘一定要在你家户口本上出现、不是做你老婆就当你后妈。

60. I must appear on your household registration book, whether as your wife or as your stepmother.

61. 老娘一向视帅哥与金钱如粪土，而他们也一直是这样看我的。

61. I have always regarded handsome men and money as dirt, and they have always seen me the same way.

62. 你很幸运能和别人不一样，不要改变你的特别。

62. You are fortunate to be different from others; don't change your uniqueness.

63. 如果你从来就没爱过我，那要么你滚，要么我滚。

63. If you have never loved me at all, then either you leave or I leave.