当战火肆虐，情侣间的心声如何传颂？一段聊天记录，记录下男孩如何逗女孩开怀的言语，开启了一段战火中的温馨故事……

When the war rages, how do lovers' voices resonate? A chat record captures the words of a boy charming a girl into laughter, thus initiating a warm story amidst the flames of war...

1. 一不小心遇见你，是我组织的;不知不觉喜爱你，不是我成心的;全神贯注爱上你，是我诚心的;一心一意对待你，是我愿意的;可终身有你是我最最想要的!

1. By chance, meeting you is organized by me; without realizing it, loving you is not intentional on my part; focusing all my attention on loving you is sincere from me; treating you with all my heart is what I'm willing to do; but having you for a lifetime is what I most, most want!

2. 老师想让体育委员确认一下全班女生来齐没有，就对他说：你去把全班女生清一下。体委是个小色鬼，忙问：亲哪个老师说：我晓得还要你去!

2. The teacher wanted the sports committee to confirm whether all the girls in the class were present, so he said to him: "Go and check all the girls in the class." The sports committee, being a bit of a flirt, hurriedly asked: "Which teacher?" The teacher replied: "I know, and I still need you to go!"

3. 路上遇到我爸买彩票，问他:爸爸，如果你赢了彩票，你打算做什么？结果我爸看了我一眼:你为什么这么在意？这不关你的事。

3. On my way, I encountered my dad buying lottery tickets and asked him: Dad, if you win the lottery, what do you plan to do? My dad looked at me and said: Why are you so concerned? It's none of your business.

4. 毕业后七年，总算接了个大工程，造一根三十米烟囱，工期两个月，造价三十万，不过要垫资。总算在去年年底搞完了。今天人家去验收，被人骂得要死，还没有钱拿。图纸看反了，人家是要挖一口井！

4. Seven years after graduation, I finally landed a big project, to build a 30-meter chimney. The project was scheduled for two months, with a cost of 300,000 yuan, but required upfront capital. Finally, it was completed by the end of last year. Today, when the inspection took place, I was cursed to death and haven't received any money yet. It turned out that I had interpreted the blueprints backward; they wanted to dig a well instead!

5. 这两天有雾，要骑车上班，就问妈妈:妈妈，我把口罩放哪了？我妈:哈哈！终于意识到自己丑了，还记得藏羞？

5. There has been fog these two days, and since I need to ride my bike to work, I asked my mom: "Mom, where did I put my mask?" My mom: Haha! Finally realized you're ugly, and still remember to hide your shame?

6. 和女朋友一起等车，突然发现我们俩都没有零钱。于是，我给了女朋友五十块钱，让她换。经过等待，终于找回来了。我看到她买了48元的零食，还剩两个，刚好够坐公交车。。。

6. Waiting for the bus with my girlfriend, we suddenly realized neither of us had any change. So, I gave her fifty yuan to exchange for it. After waiting, we finally got it back. I saw that she bought snacks worth 48 yuan, with two left over, just enough for the bus ride...

7. 很多男孩子在恋爱的时候遇到女朋友生气就会变得六神无主，其实这个时候只需要好好的哄一下就可以了。假如你还会一些幽默的笑话那么就更不错了，本次就给大家带来了12个笑话故事哄女朋友开心，幽默段子哄女生开心短笑话，学会了这些笑话再讲给女朋友听那么你的女朋友一定不会生气了。

7. Many boys get flustered when their girlfriends get angry during dating, but in fact, all you need to do at this time is to comfort her well. If you also have some humorous jokes, that's even better. This time, we have brought you 12 humorous story jokes to cheer up your girlfriend, and humorous segments short jokes to make girls happy. If you learn these jokes and then tell them to your girlfriend, she will definitely not be angry.

8. 小美在教练的指导下练习跳水。蔻驰:小美，你该减肥了，知道吗？小美:了解教练，太胖的话水花多，拿不到高分蔻驰:这还不是最重要的，最重要的是你这周已经破了五块跳板了！小美:

8. Xiao Mei is practicing diving under the coach's guidance. Coach Kors: Xiao Mei, you should lose weight, you know that? Xiao Mei: Understood, coach. If I'm too fat, there will be more splashes and I won't get high scores. Coach Kors: This isn't the most important thing. The most important thing is that you've broken through five diving boards this week! Xiao Mei:

9. 洪太郎去了一所动物音乐学校学习器乐。班主任:你想学什么器乐？洪太郎:学架子鼓！班主任:你为什么想要一套架子鼓？洪太郎:因为我觉得那个架子鼓看起来像个锅！

9. Hong Taishao went to an animal music school to study instrumental music. Teacher in charge: What kind of instrument do you want to learn? Hong Taishao: I want to learn the drum set! Teacher in charge: Why do you want a drum set? Hong Taishao: Because I think that drum set looks like a pot!

10. 母亲再一次叫儿子起床:雅克,好孩子,该起床了你听公鸡叫了好几遍了公鸡叫与我有什么关联我又不是母鸡

10. The mother calls her son to wake up again: Jacques, good child, it's time for you to get up. You've heard the rooster crow several times. What does the rooster's crowing have to do with me? I'm not a hen.

11. 护士看到一病人在病房喝酒，就走过去小声地对他说：小心肝!病人微笑着说：小宝贝。

11. The nurse saw a patient drinking alcohol in the ward and went over to him in a low voice and said: Take care of your liver! The patient smiled and replied: My little darling.

12. 忙吗？请解答我的几个疑惑：总是失眠，小时就醒一次；每周都有七天不想上班；一想到骚扰你就眉开眼笑。快点回复啊，这天只吃了三顿饭，正饿着呢！

12. Are you busy? Please answer some of my doubts: I always have trouble sleeping and wake up once in the middle of the night; I don't want to go to work for seven days every week; just thinking about bothering you makes me smile. Please reply quickly! I've only had three meals today and I'm really hungry!

13. 黑猩猩不小心踩到了长臂猿拉的大便，长臂猿温柔细心地帮其擦洗干净后它们相爱了。别人问起他们是怎么走到一起的黑猩猩感慨地说：猿粪!都是猿粪啊!

13. The chimpanzee accidentally stepped on the feces that the gibbon had dropped, and after the gibbon gently and carefully cleaned it off, they fell in love. When others asked how they got together, the chimpanzee sighed and said, "Monkey feces! It's all monkey feces!"

14. 狼崽从出生就吃素。狼爸狼妈绞尽脑汁训练狼崽捕猎。终于有天狼爸狼妈欣慰地看到儿子狂追兔子。狼崽抓住兔子凶相毕露恶狠狠地说：小子!把胡萝卜交出来!

14. The wolf cub was vegetarian from birth. The wolf dad and mom worked tirelessly to train the cub to hunt. Finally, one day, the wolf dad and mom were overjoyed to see their son chasing a rabbit wildly. The wolf cub grabbed the rabbit, showed its fierce side, and said menacingly: Kid! Hand over the carrot!

15. 早上，女儿躺在床上，眼看上学要迟到了。媳妇掀开被子，抬手扇了两巴掌，起身。洗脸时逗女儿:爸爸会给你换个新妈妈吗？女儿:没有！换了后妈我该怎么活？

15. In the morning, the daughter was lying in bed, looking at the clock and realizing she was going to be late for school. Her mother-in-law pulled back the blanket, slapped her twice, and got up. While washing her face, she teased the daughter: "Dad will get you a new mother, won't he?" The daughter replied: "No! How should I live with a stepmother?"

16. 9一猴子吃花生前都要先塞进屁股再拿出来吃。对此管理员解释道：曾有人喂它桃子，结果桃核拉不出来，猴子吓怕了，现在一定要量好再吃。

16. 9 Before a monkey eats peanuts, it has to stuff them into its behind and then pull them out to eat. The keeper explained: Someone once fed it peaches, but the peach pit couldn't be pulled out, which scared the monkey. Now, it has to measure the peanuts first before eating them.

17. 吃饭不用愁，只需低低头；工作不用愁，早已为你筹；婚配不用愁，传情靠眼眸；买房不用愁，居家有人修；说话不用愁，天生会吹牛，因你本身是只大笨牛！

17. No worries about eating, just bow your head a bit; no worries about work, it's already been planned for you; no worries about marriage, your eye contact will convey your feelings; no worries about buying a house, someone will fix it up for you; no worries about speaking, you're naturally good at bluffing, because you're essentially a big, dumb cow!

18. 课堂上，老师在讲成语，小明却在呼呼大睡。老师对老师大发雷霆:小明，你站起来回答，快读是什么意思？小明:一目十行是指检查视力时，只用一只眼睛就能看到第十行。以我的经验，这个愿景应该是0.7 老师:走开！

18. In class, the teacher was explaining idioms, but Xiaoming was snoring loudly. The teacher lost her temper and shouted at the teacher: Xiaoming, stand up and answer, what does 'a glance of ten lines' mean? Xiaoming: 'A glance of ten lines' refers to the ability to see the tenth line with just one eye during an eye examination. Based on my experience, that vision should be 0.7. Teacher: Get out of here!

19. 你说你啊，买**吧，没中五百万；找对象吧，没遇到天仙；干工作吧，还老是加班。我教你一个转运妙法，保密哦，告诉别人就不灵了，那就是－－踩。

19. You said it, bought a lottery ticket and didn't win five million; looked for a partner and didn't meet a celestial being; went to work and had to work overtime all the time. I'll teach you a secret method to change your fortune, but please keep it a secret because if you tell others, it won't work. That is – to step on it.

20. 7大象不小心踩到蚂蚁窝，蚂蚁们倾巢而出，纷纷爬到大象身上。大象抖抖身子，蚂蚁们都掉了下来。此时还有一只在大象的脖子上，掉下的蚂蚁大声叫到“掐死它”。

20. 7 The elephant accidentally stepped on an ant hill, and the ants swarmed out, all爬 onto the elephant. The elephant shook itself, and the ants fell off. At this moment, there was still one on the elephant's neck, and as it fell, the ant shouted, "Suffocate it."

21. 8一日上电脑课，有一排同学的电脑死机了。于是一位同学站起来说：“老师，电脑死机了，我们这排全死了。”这时，许多同学都说：“我们也死了。”这时老师问：“还有谁没死？”只有一位同学站起来：“我还没死！”老师奇怪的说：“全班都死了，你为什么不死？”

21. On the 8th day of the computer class, a row of students' computers froze. One student stood up and said, "Teacher, the computers have frozen, our whole row is down." At this moment, many students said, "We're also down." Then the teacher asked, "Who else is still alive?" Only one student stood up and said, "I'm still alive!" The teacher was puzzled and said, "Everyone in the class is dead, why aren't you?"

22. 我很高兴以为孩子们都怕我,谁知太太又之后说:家中只有你最听话,乖!快去帮我买袋盐(最后只能说明我是个好男生)

22. I was so happy to think that the kids were afraid of me, but then my wife said afterwards: "Out of everyone at home, you're the most obedient, good boy! Hurry up and buy a bag of salt for me" (in the end, it only proved that I was a good guy).

23. 一向追求你的人是我，一向思念你的人还是我，第一次看见你，你的魅力就征服了我，你是我今生最值得的追求，我的生活只有你能拯救，知道吗？人民币。

23. It's me who has been pursuing you all along, and it's still me who has been missing you. The first time I saw you, your charm conquered me. You are the most worthwhile pursuit in my life. My life can only be saved by you. Know it? Renminbi.

24. 在银行里，一个秃顶的猥琐男对窗口姐姐说:妹子借我一万块散散心~ 那个妹子无奈的说:兄弟，取钱的话，别误会。。。

24. In the bank, a bald, creepy man said to the window clerk: "Sister, can you lend me 10,000 yuan to ease my mind?" The girl said helplessly: "Brother, if you want to withdraw money, don't misunderstand..."

25. 新来了一个挺漂亮的女同事，一男同事在她跟前咳了俩声。她很温柔地说：感冒了？同事有点兴奋：恩，有点！女同事：那你离我远点。

25. A new, quite beautiful female colleague has joined, and one male colleague coughed twice in front of her. She said gently, "Are you catching a cold?" The colleague got a bit excited: "Yeah, a bit!" The female colleague: "Then you should keep your distance from me."

26. 孩子正思考有关“遗传与环境“的问题。母亲插话道：这个问题很简单嘛，大家都知道如果孩子像父亲，那就是遗传；像邻居，那就是环境。

26. The child is contemplating the question of "nature versus nurture." The mother interjected, "This question is quite simple, everyone knows that if the child resembles the father, it's genetics; if it resembles the neighbor, it's the environment."

27. 我有四个孩子,都十分顽皮,一天下班回家,孩子们正在家门口吵闹不休太太见我回来很高兴的说:你最后回来了,好极了我很高兴以为孩子们都怕我,谁知太太又之后说:家中只有你最听话,乖!快去帮我买袋盐

27. I have four children, all very mischievous. One day, when I came home from work, the children were arguing noisily at the doorstep. My wife was very happy to see me return and said, "You finally came back, that's great! I was so happy, thinking the children were afraid of me. But then my wife said, 'Out of all of us at home, only you are听话 and well-behaved! Go quickly and buy a bag of salt for me.' "

28. 所谓一见钟情，但是见色起意；所谓日久生情，但是权衡利弊。所谓哥们最牛，但是是牛皮哄哄。所谓姐们最浪，但是是装模作样。祝你开心放浪。

28. What is called "love at first sight" is actually lusting after beauty; what is said to be love that grows over time is actually weighing the pros and cons. What is called the most awesome among friends is actually full of hot air. What is said to be the most carefree among sisters is actually acting the part. May you be happy and carefree.

29. 听说你最近在找工作，我给你报了一个名，你去面试吧。工作简单，待遇也不错，更重要的是世界知名企业，发展绝对好，职位是厕所保洁员。记得去哦！

29. I heard that you've been looking for a job recently, and I've enrolled you for an interview. Go ahead and give it a shot. The job is simple, the pay is decent, and most importantly, it's with a world-renowned company, offering great development opportunities. The position is a toilet cleaner. Remember to go!

30. 赫鲁晓夫参观农场，记者照了一张他在猪圈和猪一齐的照片。次日见报，旁边有附言：左起第三位为赫鲁晓夫同志。

30. Khrushchev visited a farm, and a journalist took a photo of him with the pigs in the pen. The next day, the photo was published with a caption: The third person from the left is Comrade Khrushchev.

31. 从前有俩人,一个叫装,一个叫消一天消不见了,装正好见有一帮人在打架,就过去扒拉,说:我找消!那帮人愣了一下说:你是不是装啊对啊,我是!

31. There were two people once, one named Zhang and the other named Xiao. One day Xiao disappeared, and Zhang just happened to see a group of people fighting. He went over and pushed them aside, saying: "I'm looking for Xiao!" The group of people looked surprised and said: "Are you Zhang? Yes, that's me!"

32. 逗女人开心的暖心笑话，其次,女孩子是一种很简单的生物，当她生气的时候就看你浪不浪漫,你浪漫的话就用生活方式使她开心!你低调的话,让她进入你的生活，老师：“你为什么在上课时睡觉？”某生：“我没睡觉哇！”老师：“那你为什么闭上眼睛？”某生：“我在闭目沉思！”老师：“那你为什么直点头？”某生：“您刚才讲得很有道理！”老师：“那你为什么直流口水？”某生：“老师您说得津津有味！”

32. A heartwarming joke to make a woman happy: First of all, girls are very simple creatures. When they are angry, it depends on how romantic you are. If you are romantic, use your lifestyle to make her happy! If you are low-key, let her enter your life. Teacher: "Why are you sleeping in class?" Student: "I wasn't sleeping!" Teacher: "Then why are you closing your eyes?" Student: "I am meditating with my eyes closed!" Teacher: "Then why are you nodding continuously?" Student: "What you just said is very reasonable!" Teacher: "Then why are you drooling?" Student: "Teacher, you are talking so engagingly!"

33. 4医生问病人是怎么骨折的。病人说，我觉得鞋里有沙子，就扶着电线杆抖鞋。有个经过那里，以为我触电了，便抄起木棍给了我两棍子！

33. The doctor asked the patient how he fractured his arm. The patient said, "I felt sand in my shoe, so I shook my shoe while holding onto a utility pole. Someone passing by thought I had been electrocuted, so they picked up a stick and hit me twice!"

34. 10大二时，全宿舍的女生都喜欢周华建的歌，一盘磁带被大家借来借去的。一日，上铺的女生问：我的周华建呢？下铺的女生回答：在我床上呢！两秒钟寂静无声，然后全体翻倒在床。

34. In our second year of university, all the girls in the dormitory loved Zhou Huajian's songs, and a tape was borrowed and lent among everyone. One day, the girl on the top bunk asked, "Where's my Zhou Huajian tape?" The girl on the bottom bunk replied, "It's on my bed!" There was a two-second silence, followed by everyone collapsing onto the bed.

35. 3一醉汉不慎从三楼掉下，引来路人围观，一警察过来：发生什么事？醉汉：不清楚，我也是刚到。

35. A drunk man accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting a crowd of onlookers. A police officer approached: What happened? The drunk man: I'm not sure, I just got here.

36. 6某人养一猪，烦，弃之，然猪知归路，数弃无功。一日，其驾车转了很多弯弃猪，深夜致电家人，问：“猪归否？”答曰：“已归！”其怒吼：“让它接电话，老子迷路了！

36.6 Someone raised a pig, found it烦扰, and abandoned it. However, the pig knew the way back, and the attempts to abandon it were fruitless. One day, after driving around many turns to abandon the pig, he called his family late at night and asked, "Has the pig returned?" The answer was, "Yes, it has!" He roared in anger, "Let it answer the phone, I'm lost!"

37. 你悄然说你爱我，让我紧在你胸前，温柔的言语轻轻拨动我的心弦，国际归于咱们两个人，咱们的心紧紧相连。

37. You whispered that you love me, and I pressed close to your chest, your tender words gently tugging at the strings of my heart. The world seemed to shrink to just us two, our hearts tightly bound together.

38. 在没有遇到你曾经，我从不知道怀念的感受以及爱的甜美，请容许我从这个情人节开端让这种感受和你一同陪伴我一辈子!

38. Before I met you, I had no idea what it felt like to miss someone or to experience the sweetness of love. Please allow me to start this Valentine's Day by letting this feeling accompany me for a lifetime, together with you!

39. 儿子上大班了，他小姨来家里玩，逗他：都读幼儿园大班了，有女朋友了没？儿子：还没找呢？小姨：为什么捏？儿子：马上快上小学了，还要重新分班，现在找不稳定。。。我。。。

39. My son is in the senior kindergarten, and his aunt came over to play with him. She teased him, "You're in the senior kindergarten now, do you have a girlfriend yet?" Son: Not yet? Aunt: Why is that? Son: I'm about to start elementary school and will have to be placed in a new class, so it's not stable to find one now... Me...

40. 2毕业后七年，总算接了个大工程，造一根三十米烟囱，工期两个月，造价三十万，不过要垫资。总算在去年年底搞完了。今天人家去验收，被人骂得要死，还没有钱拿。！图纸看反了，人家是要挖一口井！

40.2 Seven years after graduation, I finally got a big project: building a 30-meter chimney, with a construction period of two months and a cost of 300,000 yuan, but the capital needs to be provided in advance. Finally, it was completed by the end of last year. Today, when they went to inspect it, they were cursed to death and haven't received any money yet. The blueprints were read incorrectly; they were supposed to dig a well!

41. 黑猩猩不留意踩到了长臂猿拉的大便，长臂猿温柔细心地帮其擦洗干净后它们相爱了。别人问起他们是怎样走到一齐的？黑猩猩感慨地说：猿粪！都是猿粪啊！

41. The chimpanzee accidentally stepped on the feces left by the gibbon, and the gibbon gently and meticulously cleaned it up. After that, they fell in love. When others asked how they came together, the chimpanzee sighed, "Apes' feces! It's all apes' feces!"

42. 老公拿着一个兰花碗，十分郑重地对老婆说：“你以后不好再摔碗了，这碗是你妈留下的，此刻只剩两只了，其他的都让你给摔了。”老婆白了老公一眼，说：“那你以后也不许气我，我也是我妈留下的，只留了我一个。”

42. The husband held a orchid bowl in his hand and spoke to his wife with great seriousness, "You mustn't break any more bowls from now on, as this bowl was left by your mother. There are only two left now, and the rest have been broken by you." The wife gave her husband a cold look and said, "Then you're not allowed to make me angry either, as I am also left by my mother, and there's only one of me left."

43. 有一种真情，能够安静的相忘于江湖。君子之交，亦或素昧平生，都能够静静的爱，静静的了解，静静在心里装满祝愿，挥一挥手，让春草连绵，落红成阵。

43. There is a sincere affection that can peacefully fade away in the vast world. The friendship of a gentleman, whether it be with someone one has never met, can love quietly, understand quietly, and quietly fill the heart with blessings. With a wave of the hand, let the spring grasses extend continuously, and the fallen petals form a grand array.

44. 日子在不一样的空间流逝，想念在不一样的时刻来临，不论世事怎么的变迁，你永久是我的独爱。

44. Days pass in different spaces, longing comes at different moments. No matter how the world changes, you will always be my one and only love.

45. 每次亲戚朋友过年问我：找对象没有啊？我都会很机智的默默寻找他家小孩，然后亲切地问：期末考试考多少啊？要知道痛苦是需要转移的。。。小孩说：叔叔我女朋友考了第一我考了第二。对了叔叔你有女朋友吗。。。我。。。

45. Every time my relatives and friends ask me during the Spring Festival, "Have you found a partner yet?" I would cleverly and silently look for his children, then warmly ask, "How did you do on the final exam?" You see, pain needs to be transferred... The child said, "Uncle, my girlfriend came in first and I came in second. By the way, do you have a girlfriend, Uncle... Me..."

46. 1一天，牛给驴出了一个难题，问“蠢”字下面两只虫子哪只是公的，哪只是母的。驴绞尽脑汁，还是答不上来。牛骂道：真是头蠢驴，男左女右嘛！

46.1 On one day, the cow presented a riddle to the donkey, asking which of the two bugs beneath the character for "stupid" is male and which is female. The donkey thought hard, but couldn't come up with an answer. The cow cursed, "You're such a foolish donkey! It's obvious that the left one is male and the right one is female!"

47. 女：你在干嘛呢？男：我正在一同学家喜事上，好无聊。女：怎么会无聊呢？人肯定很多吧？男：多也没用啊，他们爱打牌的打牌，爱喝酒的喝酒，就我闲着。女：那你爱什么？男：我爱你！

47. Female: What are you doing? Male: I'm at a friend's wedding, and it's so boring. Female: How can it be boring? There must be a lot of people, right? Male: More people don't help; they play cards and drink, but I'm just idle. Female: So what do you like? Male: I love you!

48. 有个腼腆的男孩终于鼓足勇气问心爱的女孩：你喜欢什么样的男孩子女孩说：投缘的。男孩再问还是一样，他只好伤心地说：头扁一点的不行吗

48. A shy boy finally gathered enough courage to ask the girl he loved, "What kind of boys do you like?" The girl replied, "Boys who get along well." The boy asked again, and she gave the same answer. Feeling heartbroken, he said, "Can't I be the one with a flatter head?"

49. 5乌龟受伤。让蜗牛去买药。过了2个小时。蜗牛还没回来。乌龟急了骂道：他再不回来老子就死了！这时门外传来了蜗牛的声音：你再说老子不去了！

49. 5 turtles were injured. The snail was sent to buy medicine. Two hours later, the snail had not returned. The turtle became anxious and cursed, saying: If he doesn't come back soon, I'll die! At that moment, the voice of the snail was heard outside: If you say that again, I won't go!

50. 我说：你是猪。你说：我是猪才怪!从此我就叫你猪才怪。终于有一天，你忍不住当着众人的面对我吼道：我不是猪才怪!

50. I said: You are a pig. You said: There's no way I'm a pig! From then on, I called you "Pig Surprise." Finally, one day, you couldn't hold back and shouted at me in front of everyone: "I'm not a pig, surprise!"