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1. 傻不傻，看你会不会傻。

1. Are you dumb? See if you're really dumb.

2. 每个宿舍都有一个磨牙的，一个说梦话的，一个打呼噜的，一个睡懒觉的。

2. Each dormitory has a tooth grinder, a talker in one's sleep, a snorer, and a lazy sleeper.

3. 偷吃不是我的错，是嘴巴的孤独。

3. Eating in secret is not my fault; it's the loneliness of my mouth.

4. 对于女生:出来混，早晚的事。

4. For girls: It's just a matter of time.

5. 每次写简历都会比以前更佩服自己。

5. Each time I write a resume, I feel even more impressed with myself than before.

6. 如果一个男人不帮你穿上婚纱，你可以给他一件袈裟。

6. If a man doesn't help you put on your wedding dress, you can give him a robe.

7. 不要以为你看起来稀罕，我们才应该稀罕。

7. Don't think that just because you look valuable, we should cherish you.

8. 本想华丽转身，不料低调撞墙。

8. Had wanted to make a grand turnaround, but ended up crashing in a low-profile manner.

9. 继哪个著名家族之后，你的父亲是田鹏元帅！

9. Following which famous family did your father, Marshal Tian Peng, come?

10. 三分注定，七分靠努力，九十分在老师处。

10. Ten percent is predetermined, thirty percent depends on effort, and ninety percent lies with the teacher.

11. 穷耐克，富阿迪，流氓阿玛尼。

11. Poor Nike, rich Adidas,流氓Armani.

12. 世界上最难的有两件事:一是把自己的思想装进别人的脑袋，二是把别人的钱装进自己的口袋。前者成功叫到了老师，后者成功叫到了老板。两个人都成功的给老婆或者大学或者教堂打了电话！

12. The two hardest things in the world are: one is to put your own thoughts into someone else's head, and the other is to put someone else's money into your own pocket. The former is called a teacher when successful, and the latter is called a boss when successful. Both have successfully called their wives, university, or church!

13. 我借酒浇愁，但这该死的痛苦学会了游泳。

13. I drowned my sorrows in drink, but this damned pain has learned to swim.

14. 昨晚我拿着你的承诺去喂狗，第二天早上发现狗死了。

14. Last night, I took your promise to feed the dog, and the next morning I found the dog had died.

15. 晚上想一千条路，早上起来走原路。

15. Think of a thousand paths at night, but take the original path when you wake up in the morning.

16. 我不仅运气好，脚气也好。

16. I not only have good luck, but also good feet.

17. 如果老师没说你不能乱扔垃圾，我会把你扔出去。

17. If the teacher hasn't told you not to litter, I would throw you out.

18. 装逼只是瞬间，无耻才是永恒。

18. Pretending to be impressive is only momentary, while shamelessness is eternal.

19. 青春，你太青春痘了！

19. Youth, you are too much of a pimple!

20. 我没说你不要脸。我是说你不要脸。

20. I didn't say you are shameless. I said you are shameless.

21. 如果人靠吃活着，那顿饭就不叫饭，叫饲料。

21. If people live on eating, that meal is not called a meal; it's called feed.

22. 我觉得地球太危险了。我想念火星。

22. I think Earth is too dangerous. I miss Mars.

23. 别人笑我什么都没穿，我也笑别人什么都没穿。

23. They laugh at me for having nothing on, and I laugh at them for having nothing on as well.

24. 如果有一天全世界的男人都来月经，我会去卖卫生经。

24. If one day all men in the world experience menstruation, I would go into selling sanitary napkins.

25. 我对着镜子说，镜子，镜子，我是世界上最漂亮的吗？镜子坏了。

25. I said to the mirror, "Mirror, mirror, am I the most beautiful in the world?" The mirror was broken.

26. 天涯何处无牛粪，何必单恋。

26. Wherever there is a sky, there is cow dung; why do you have to love just one?

27. 有些东西不用养，表面服从，暗地里反抗。

27. There are some things that do not require nurturing; they appear to submit on the surface but secretly resist.

28. 老师，你批了老娜的纱布之后，你就是老娜的人了。

28. Teacher, after you graded Lao Na's bandage, you've become Lao Na's person.

29. 当今社会，人们插队都要排队。

29. In today's society, even people who cut in line will line up.

30. 苹果最辉煌的时刻是打在牛顿的头上。

30. The most brilliant moment of the apple is when it hits Newton on the head.

31. 我的袜子都是洞，我的未来不是梦。

31. My socks are all full of holes, and my future is not a dream.

32. 遇见你之前，我的世界黑白分明。遇见你之后，哇！都是黑的

32. Before meeting you, my world was black and white. After meeting you, wow! It's all black.

33. 熬夜是因为没有勇气结束这一天，赖床是因为没有勇气开始这一天。

33. Staying up late is because there is no courage to end this day, and lying in bed is because there is no courage to start this day.

34. 如果剪头发就是剪记忆，那我剪了头会失忆吗？

34. If cutting hair is cutting memory, then will I lose my memory if I get a haircut?

35. 春天我把男朋友种在地里，到了秋天，我就忘了。

35. In spring, I planted my boyfriend in the ground, and by autumn, I had forgotten him.

36. 凯特尔，你为什么哭？是因为你的屁股太热了吗？

36. Keitel, why are you crying? Is it because your ass is too hot?

37. 我不是优乐美，我只是敌敌畏。你想把我捧在手心吗？

37. I am not Euromilk, I am just DDT. Do you want to hold me in your palm?

38. 上帝给了我们世俗的欲望，我们却把它变成了色情和暴力。

38. God has given us secular desires, but we have turned them into pornography and violence.

39. 以前的我年轻有冲劲，现在青春没了，我也这么有冲劲。

39. The me of the past was young and full of vigor, now that my youth is gone, I still have that same vigor.

40. 三人必有我妻，择其美而取之。

40. Among any three people, there must be my wife; choose the beautiful one and take her.

41. 不舍，此生不离。如果你不喜欢它，你就会死。

41. Attachment, never to leave in this life. If you dislike it, you will die.

42. 以后不要在我面前说英语，好吗？

42. Don't speak English in front of me anymore, okay?

43. 你眼里的高压足够我手机用一年了。

43. The high pressure in your eyes is enough to power my phone for a year.

44. 风真的刮的很大，把我的手机信号都吹进联通了！

44. The wind was really blowing hard, it even blew my phone signal into China Unicom!

45. 每次我给佛脚补习，佛总是给我一脚。

45. Every time I give the Buddha's foot tutoring, the Buddha always gives me a kick.

46. 祖国的花朵，开一朵我踩一朵。

46. Flowers of the motherland, as one opens, I step on one.

47. 老板，你有可乐吗？给我拿瓶雪碧

47. Boss, do you have cola? Give me a bottle of Sprite.

48. 我不需要你的理解，我只需要你闭嘴。

48. I don't need your understanding, I just need you to shut up.