在浩瀚的宇宙中，有一种神秘的力量，它悄无声息地影响着万物。这就是“形容量体差异”的幽默认述。自古以来，人们对此充满了好奇与敬畏，试图揭开这神秘面纱的一角。今日，让我们一同踏入这幽默认述的世界，探寻其中的奥秘。

In the vast universe, there is a mysterious force that silently influences all things. This is the cryptic description of "quantifying volume differences." Since ancient times, people have been filled with curiosity and awe about it, trying to lift the corner of this mysterious veil. Today, let us all step into the world of this cryptic description and explore its mysteries.

1. 编后语：在爱情的世界里，有些人爱了，有些人伤了，有些人恨了，还有些人的爱从一开始就只是回忆。于是，总有人说，如果能重新开始，那该多好。但是，曾经已过。爱过了,爱，过了。

1. Afterword: In the world of love, some people fall in love, some get hurt, some hold resentment, and for some, their love has always been just a memory. Therefore, it is often said that if only we could start anew, how wonderful that would be. But the past is gone. Loved, loved too much.

2. 19我的拳头和下面只为你硬，你的眼睛和下面只为我溼。

2. My fists and the lower part are only hard for you, and your eyes and the lower part are only wet for me.

3. 22大卡车第一次碰见出租车，大卡车说：“我叫大卡车” 出租车说：“我叫出租车” 大卡车说：“你别叫了，我送你吧！”

3. The big truck encountered a taxi for the first time, and said, "I am the big truck." The taxi replied, "I am the taxi." Then the big truck said, "Stop calling yourself that, let me take you!"

4. 你想永葆青春吗 不要瞎想了，好好工作吧!

4. Do you want to stay young forever? Stop daydreaming and get to work instead!

5. 都说失去以后才懂得珍惜，其实珍惜后的失去才是最痛。

5. It's often said that one only learns to cherish something after losing it, but in fact, the pain of losing something after cherishing it is the most profound.

6. 向毛主席保证:我再也不掐祖国花朵了，我去掐花骨朵。

6. Swear an oath to Chairman Mao: I promise I will never pinch the flowers of our motherland anymore; instead, I will pinch the buds of flowers.

7. 生命是一个不确定的、脆弱而美好的过程，它的美好只有通过打造健康的身体才能维持。

7. Life is an uncertain, fragile, and beautiful process, and its beauty can only be maintained through the cultivation of a healthy body.

8. 调侃已成为大家相互逗趣解压的一种方式。我友情提醒，笑点低者慎入啊。

8. Making fun has become a way for everyone to entertain each other and relieve stress. I'd like to友情提醒 those with a low sense of humor to be cautious.

9. 不敢把所有情绪都告诉你，因为所有情绪都与你有关，说出来就像是在对你表白。

9. I dare not tell you all my emotions, because they are all connected to you. Expressing them feels like making a declaration of love to you.

10. 13对自己好点，因为一辈子不长；对身边的人好点，因为下辈子不一定能够遇见！

10. Take good care of yourself, because life is not long; be kind to the people around you, because there is no guarantee that you will meet them again in the next life!

11. 42我和朋友们吃了好多好多花生，越吃越开心，我查了查，原来是好事会花生。

11. 42 I and my friends ate a lot and a lot of peanuts, and the more we ate, the happier we were. I checked and found out that it was a good luck peanuts.

12. 49你知道星星有多重吗 八克 因为星巴克。

12. 49 Do you know how heavy stars are? 8 grams because of Starbucks.

13. 50猫妈妈责备小猫说:“你为什么要把抓到的老鼠撕成碎片你不党这样做很残忍吗”小猫李屈的说:可是鼠片真的好吃。

13. The 50 cat mother scolded the kitten, saying, "Why did you tear the mouse you caught into pieces? Isn't that very cruel?" The kitten, Li Qu, replied bashfully, "But mouse pieces really taste good."

14. 5“敢问什么样的女人才是真女人。”“不充气的。”

14. 5 "May I ask what kind of woman is a true woman?" "Not the inflatable kind."

15. 35虾和蚌同时考了一百分，老师问虾：“你抄谁的？”虾说：“我抄蚌的”

15. The shrimp and clam both scored a perfect 100. The teacher asked the shrimp, "Who did you copy from?" The shrimp replied, "I copied from the clam."

16. 不爱我，就别感动我。世界上最可怕的词不是分离，而是距离。一个人害怕孤独，两个人害怕辜负。

16. If you don't love me, don't try to move me. The scariest word in the world isn't separation, but distance. One person fears loneliness, while two people fear disappointing each other.

17. 146和9紧紧地拥抱在一起大吼：合体，变身!于是，变成了一个日字。

17. 146 and 9 tightly embraced each other and shouted: "Merge, transform!" Then, they turned into a character that resembles the Chinese character for "sun."

18. 相亲是经销，恋爱叫直销，而抛绣球招亲则为围标。

18. Arranged marriage is like distribution, dating is direct selling, and throwing a jade ball to propose marriage is like tendering.

19. 46一个人身边的位置只有那麽多,你能给的也只有那麽多,在这个狭小的圈子里,有些人要进来,就有一些人不得不离开

19. There is only so much space around a person, and only so much you can give. In this narrow circle, if some people have to come in, others must leave.

20. 27失去的东西，其实从来未曾真正地属于你，也不必惋惜。

20. The things that were lost never truly belonged to you in the first place, and there is no need to regret them.

21. 12“如果想把月亮买下来得多少钱？” “月中买实惠，因为十五的月亮十六元。”

21. 12 "How much money would it take to buy the moon?" "It's a good deal in the middle of the moon, because the moon on the 15th is 16 yuan."

22. 我从昨天到今天一直躺在床上，突然意识到我和灰姑娘有挣扎。

22. I have been lying in bed from yesterday to today, and suddenly realized that I have a struggle with Cinderella.

23. 迷失了自己一次，是为了让自己以后更好的认清前方的路。

23. Losing oneself once is to better recognize the path ahead in the future.

24. 错爱是喜欢却不合适的鞋，穿了脚疼，扔了心疼。

24. The wrong love is like wearing shoes that you like but are not a good fit; they hurt your feet when you wear them and make you feel sad when you throw them away.

25. 世上所有问题都可以用关你屁事和关我屁事来回答，突然发现屁好忙。

25. All the problems in the world can be answered with "It's none of your business" and "It's none of my business," and suddenly I realize that the fart is very busy.

26. 昨我托一只蚊子去找你，让它告你我很想你，并请它替我亲亲你，因为现在我无法接近你!

26. Yesterday, I sent a mosquito to find you, to let you know how much I miss you, and to ask it to kiss you for me, because now I am unable to come near you!

27. 以前天不怕地不怕，而现在再强大，也担心保护不了你的时候。大病一场，才知道身体健康是多么重要！

27. Once fearless and undaunted, now even the strongest feel anxious about not being able to protect you. After a serious illness, one realizes how precious good health truly is!

28. 如果哪天我放弃了，请记得，是因为你的不在乎。

28. If I ever give up, remember it's because of your indifference.

29. 我心眼儿有些小，但是不缺;我脾气很好，但不是没有!

29. I have a bit of a narrow mindset, but I'm not lacking in it; I have a good temper, but it's not without its limits!

30. 人人都说西湖美，果然西湖都是水。飞流直下三千尺，有只青蛙跳下水。

30. Everyone says that West Lake is beautiful, and indeed, West Lake is all water. A waterfall rushes down three thousand feet, and a frog jumps into the water.

31. 多年后的你，会不会记得，有一个人曾很努力的珍惜过你。

31. Will you remember, after many years, that there was someone who once tried very hard to cherish you.

32. 人只有大病一场，才会认真去思考自己真正爱的是什么，向死而生。

32. Only after a serious illness will a person seriously contemplate what they truly love and face life with a sense of living in the face of death.

33. 一般说来，插手是出于好心，插足是别有用心。

33. Generally speaking, intervening is out of good intentions, while intervening is with ulterior motives.

34. 常常告诫自己不要在一棵树上吊死，结果我在树林里迷路了。

34. I often告诫 myself not to put all my eggs in one basket, but in the end, I got lost in the woods.

35. 2我曾经和一个人无数次擦肩而过，衣服都擦破了，也没擦出火花。

35.2 I have passed by the same person countless times, my clothes have been worn through, but no spark has been ignited.

36. 1男人不好色，好什么好are you吗

36. 1 Man doesn't like the color, like what, like what are you?

37. 生命是终将荒芜的渡口，连我们自己都是过客。

37. Life is a渡口 that will eventually become desolate, and even ourselves are just passing through.

38. 你期待什么，什么就离你越远，你执着谁，就会被谁伤害的最深。

38. The more you anticipate something, the farther it seems to move away from you; the more you cling to someone, the deeper you will be hurt by them.

39. 人和猪的区别就是：猪一直是猪，而人有时却不是人!

39. The difference between humans and pigs is that pigs are always pigs, but humans are sometimes not human!

40. 我突然意识到，健康就像一个珍贵的宝藏，需要给予最耐心和爱的关怀。

40. I suddenly realized that health is like a precious treasure that requires the most patient and loving care.

41. 一个女人说几年了，我家的马桶圈都从没掀起来过

41. A woman said, "For years now, the toilet seat cover in my house has never been lifted up."

42. 我经常跳槽，国内不少城市我都待过，每当朋友问我在何处就职时，我都会说在中国移动。

42. I often change jobs, and I have lived in many cities in China. Whenever friends ask where I am employed, I always say at China Mobile.

43. 疾病让我明白了什么人生苦短，不能及时行乐。现在，这让我明白了尽早问医生有多重要。

43. Illness has taught me that life is short and there is no time for delayed pleasures. Now, it has made me realize how important it is to consult a doctor early on.

44. 50妈妈说人最好不要错过两样东西,最后一班回家的车和一个深爱你的人。

44. 50 Mom says that people should not miss two things: the last bus home and a person who deeply loves you.

45. 45我Gucci的时候，眼泪总是para para的dior。

45. When I was 45, my tears were always for Dior.

46. 你我之间，不是错过，就是过错。我以为时间会是一剂很好的疗伤药，却也没想到用来入药的是我的心。

46. Between you and me, it's either a missed opportunity or a mistake. I thought time would be a good healing medicine, but I never expected my own heart to be the ingredient used in the medicine.

47. 有钱的人怕别人知道他有钱，没有钱的人怕别人知道他没有钱。

47. The rich are afraid that others will know they are rich, while the poor are afraid that others will know they are poor.

48. 大病初愈，瘦了许多，心里颇有些不是滋味，当躺在手术台上的那一刻，才明白：什么都敌不过我的狗命最要紧。

48. Just recovered from a serious illness, I've lost a lot of weight, and I feel quite unpleasant about it. It was only when I was lying on the operating table that I realized: nothing is more important than my dog's life.

49. 这一生，总有一个人，老是跟你过不去，你却很想跟他过下去。

49. In this life, there is always someone who always seems to have a grudge against you, yet you would really like to live with them.

50. 最伤人的就是，昨天还让你觉得自己意义非凡的人，今天就让你觉得自己可有可无。

50. What's most hurtful is that the person who made you feel invaluable yesterday can make you feel dispensable today.

51. 逃课太多，昨天想去上课，见到教授，教授惊讶地说，这么长时间不见，长这么大了。

51. Having skipped too many classes, I wanted to attend the class yesterday and when I saw the professor, the professor was surprised and said, "It's been so long since I saw you, you've grown up so much."

52. 38你若先走了，转身时就不要怪我也在背对着你

52. 38 If you leave first, don't blame me for also turning my back to you when you turn around.

53. 16我喜欢你，很久了，等你，也很久了， 现在，我要离开，比很久很久还要久

53. 16 I like you, for a long time, and I've been waiting for you for a long time too. Now, I have to leave, longer than for a very long time.

54. 擅自喜欢上人家，擅自想入非非，然后，擅自失恋。

54. To have arbitrarily fallen in love with someone, to have arbitrarily indulged in daydreams, and then, to have arbitrarily experienced a breakup.

55. 昨天我把百度给杀了，临死前他问我为什么要杀他、我只是冷笑一声：你知道的太多了。

55. Yesterday, I killed Baidu, and before he died, he asked me why I had to kill him. I just sneered: You know too much.

56. 41大家都是汉堡包，凭什么你们都是憨憨，就我是宝宝。

56. 41 We're all hamburgers, why are you all silly, and I'm the baby?

57. 我一直在嘲笑那些局限于身体但是现在它如此无助的人，大概是会拍手的。

57. I have always mocked those who are confined to their bodies but now are so helpless, and perhaps they would be clapping.

58. 61电梯遇到个男生，他按了八层，呵，真会暗示，他八层是有点喜欢我了。

58. 61 The elevator met a boy, and he pressed the eighth floor. Huh, he really knows how to hint, he has a bit of a crush on me at the eighth floor.

59. 生病的时候觉得人生就像一场马拉松，小腿肌肉无处不在，就像沈明嘉和丹琳比赛中被碾压的李宗伟。

59. When I'm sick, I feel like life is a marathon, with my calf muscles everywhere, just like Li Zongwei, who was crushed by Shen Mingjia and Dan Lin during the competition.

60. 我们都在犯同一个错，和喜欢的人吵架，和陌生人讲心里话。

60. We are all making the same mistake: arguing with the ones we like and sharing our innermost thoughts with strangers.

61. 51为什么恐怖片里的房间里会有钢琴和邮箱？ 答：钢 琴住了几个药 邮 箱住了几个魔

61. Why would there be a piano and a mailbox in a horror movie room? Answer: The piano is home to a few potions, and the mailbox is home to a few goblins.

62. 9士兵：连长好，我想请个探亲假。连长：你来部队这些年表现是最好的，一次假也没请过。本来打算这几天就给你升士官，唉～你太让我失望了。士兵：我老婆怀孕了!连长：你要用枪尽管说!

62. 9 soldiers: Sergeant, I would like to request a leave of absence to visit my family. Sergeant: You've been the best performer in the unit all these years, never asking for a day off. I was planning to promote you to a sergeant these few days, but... I'm so disappointed in you. Soldier: My wife is pregnant! Sergeant: Just say the word if you need to use the gun!

63. 你是我见到世界上身材最平的女人，你不是飞机场，你简直就是盆地，下雨天还会积水的那种!

63. You are the flattest woman I've ever seen in the world. You're not a flat-chested person, you're literally a basin, the kind that can accumulate water in the rain!

64. 19“老婆，我想去阳台站会儿。”“你咋想的，这大半夜的，天还这么冷，你没事跑阳台站着干啥!要是冻感冒了怎么整，你是家里的顶梁柱，你要是倒下了，这个家怎么整!”“可是老婆，这个搓衣板太硬了，我实在跪不住了。。。”

64. 19 "Honey, I want to stand on the balcony for a while." "What are you thinking, it's so late at night, and it's still so cold out. What's wrong with you, running out to stand on the balcony? If you catch a cold, what are we going to do? You're the pillar of the family. If you fall down, how are we going to manage this household?" "But honey, this laundry board is too hard, I really can't keep kneeling on it any longer..."

65. 11散会后，语文老师揉了揉酸疼的双眼说：“上辈子杀了人，这辈子教语文…”英语老师喝了口茶慢慢说道：“上辈子没人娶，这辈子教英语……”急着去厕所的地理老师大喊一声：“上辈子偷大米，这辈子教地理…”路过的代数老师苦笑着摇了摇头说：“上辈子破了处，这辈子教代数…”推门的教导主任说：“上辈子掏大粪，这辈子当主任……”校长清了清嗓子说道：“上辈子是头狼，这辈子当校长。都不容易啊，来，鼓掌!”

65. After the meeting, the Chinese teacher massaged her aching eyes and said, "In my previous life, I killed someone, and this life I teach Chinese..." The English teacher took a sip of tea and slowly said, "In my previous life, no one married me, and this life I teach English..." The geography teacher, in a hurry to go to the bathroom, shouted, "In my previous life, I stole rice, and this life I teach geography..." The algebra teacher, passing by, sighed and shook his head, "In my previous life, I lost my virginity, and this life I teach algebra..." The headmaster, pushing the door open, said, "In my previous life, I scooped manure, and this life I am the headmaster..." The school principal cleared his throat and said, "In my previous life, I was a wolf, and this life I am the school principal. It's not easy for any of us, let's give a round of applause!"

66. 珍惜身边的人，人心要是凉了就再也暖不起来了。

66. Cherish the people around you, because once the hearts are cold, they can never be warmed again.

67. 第一眼见到你，我就对自已说：你就是我今生的奋斗目标，我要追求你，拥抱你。我要宣布：我爱你人民币

67. The first time I saw you, I told myself: You are the goal of my life's pursuit, I want to chase after you, embrace you. I want to declare: I love you, RMB.

68. 面对沉重的身体，我只想躺在床上享受好事会来的。愉悦的感觉。

68. Faced with the heavy body, I just want to lie in bed and enjoy the feeling that good things will come. Pleasure.

69. 随便觉得没意见什么都可以，什么都行，只要方便简单，哪有那么多时间去浪费

69. Just go with the flow, no need to have any opinions. Anything goes, as long as it's convenient and simple. Who has that much time to waste?

70. 为了想清楚昨天为什么失眠，今天，我又失眠了。

70. In order to figure out why I couldn't sleep last night, today, I couldn't sleep again.

71. 25如果说美貌是

72. 26不吃饭的女人这世上也许还有好几个，不吃醋的女人却连一个也没有。

71. If beauty is 72. 26 there may be several women in the world who do not eat, but there is not a single woman who does not get jealous.

73. 人生六大望而不得： 长生丹，后悔药，铁道部的火车票。 忘情水，情花毒，支付宝的敬业福。

73. The top six things in life that one can only yearn for and not obtain: The elixir of immortality, the medicine for regret, train tickets from the Ministry of Railways. The forget-me-water, the poison of love flowers, the "devotion card" from Alipay.