在欢笑的笔触下，一个独特的名字跃然纸上——搞笑个性签名。他，用幽默诠释生活，用笑点点亮世界。今日，就让我们跟随他的足迹，一同走进他的搞笑世界。

Under the strokes of laughter, a unique name leaps from the page – the Humorous Personality Signature. He interprets life with humor and lights up the world with laughter dots. Today, let us follow in his footsteps and step into his humorous world together.

1. 前几天情绪低落。和学医的朋友说我想自杀。用手表示刀割自己的手腕。那个学医的朋友说我这样割是不对的。只能是皮外伤不致命。说到激动点还用笔给我画了个切入点

1. A few days ago, I was feeling down. I told a friend who is studying medicine that I wanted to commit suicide. I used my hand to indicate that I wanted to cut my wrist. The friend who is studying medicine told me that the way I was cutting was wrong. It could only cause superficial wounds and wouldn't be fatal. He got really passionate about it and even drew a diagram for me showing the incision point.

2. 为什么包青天额头有个月亮，因为白天不懂爷的黑

2. Why does Bao Qingtian have a moon on his forehead? Because the day doesn't understand the blackness of the old man.

3. 今天下班回家碰见室友，发现他身上的香味和女朋友身上的香味竟然一模一样，卧槽这个人渣，为了勾引老子可真的下了血本啦。

3. On my way home from work today, I ran into my roommate and noticed that the scent on him was exactly the same as that on his girlfriend. What a scumbag! He really went all out to lure me. Shit!

4. 我不是在玩手机，我是在和世界交流。

4. I am not playing with my phone; I am communicating with the world.

5. 刚开学，新老师推门而入，一巴掌拍在讲台上，冷眼看着我们，说我给你们说，我这个人从来不讲天理。班上的气氛一下变得有点凝重，过了一会，他表情一变说因为我教地理

5. Just at the beginning of the school year, the new teacher pushed open the door and slapped his hand on the podium, casting a cold eye on us and saying, "I want you all to know, I have never talked about heavenly justice." The atmosphere in the class became a bit serious all of a sudden. After a while, his expression changed and he said it was because he teaches geography.

6. 始终没有沦为一个优秀的大学生，靠的就是坚强的品质!

6. The reason I have never become an outstanding university student is due to the strength of my character!

7. 和眉毛少的人没法做朋友，拍个照不让美白，因为一美白她眉毛就不见了。

7. Can't be friends with someone who has few eyebrows, as they don't allow for whitening in photos because when it's whitened, her eyebrows disappear.

8. 都说男人有钱就变坏，tmd我都当了二十多年的好人了!

8. They all say that when men get rich, they go bad. damn it, I've been a good person for more than twenty years!

9. 鸳鸯戏水，都他妈淹死；比翼双飞，都他妈摔死。

9. The mandarin ducks play in the water, all of them drowned; those flying in pairs, all of them fall to their deaths.

10. 我想拥有全世界，却懒得动。

10. I want to have the whole world, but I'm too lazy to move.

11. 新闻教程一老太太在路上摔跤磕掉了牙，记者怎样报道香港记者会问责市政道路施工是否留有隐患!台湾记者会追踪医疗保险谁来出这笔补牙钱美国记者会关注老年社会问题边缘化的老年人怎样生活在中国大陆则是《一人掉牙众人相助》《马路无情人有情》《老人摔掉牙扶还是不扶》

11. In the first news tutorial, an elderly woman fell and knocked out her teeth on the road. How did the reporter cover the Hong Kong press conference to hold the municipal road construction accountable for potential hazards? The Taiwan press conference followed up on who should pay for the dental filling under the medical insurance, and the American press conference focused on the marginalized elderly in the aging society and how they live in China. In mainland China, it was covered as "When One Loses a Tooth, Many Help," "On the Road, the Heart Remains Kind," and "When an Elderly Person Falls, Should You Help or Not?"

12. 你每天若看见众生的过失和是非，你就要赶快去忏悔，这就是修行。

12. If you see the faults and misdeeds of all sentient beings every day, you should quickly go to repent, and this is considered practicing the Dharma.

13. 故意学习，故意工作，故意生活，故意活得像个人!

13. Deliberately learn, deliberately work, deliberately live, and deliberately live like a human being!

14. 单身不是我的选择，而是我的状态。

14. Being single is not my choice, but my current state.

15. 我极力收拢自己，一如我攥紧的石头，是为了将它扔地更远!

15. I strive to gather myself together, just as I clutch my stone tightly, in order to throw it further!

16. 我不在乎别人的喜怒哀乐，因为我是柠檬精。

16. I don't care about others' joys and sorrows, because I am a lemon essence.

17. 很黑的深夜，我突然想要学习，可是当我找到蜡烛的时候，天已经亮了

17. In the pitch-black of the night, I suddenly felt the urge to study, but by the time I found a candle, it was already dawn.

18. 看一漂亮MM,苦无搭讪办法，路旁一砖头，拣起，上前，同学，这是你掉的吧

18. Saw a beautiful girl, but couldn't think of a way to approach her. Saw a brick on the roadside, picked it up, went forward, and said to the classmate, "Is this yours that you dropped?"

19. 师太，你就从了老衲吧!很久很久以后师太，你就饶了老衲吧!

19. Auntie Monk, please comply with the elder monk's request! A long, long time from now, Auntie Monk, please spare the elder monk's life!

20. 我不是懒，我只是静氧。

20. I am not lazy, I am just tranquil.

21. 我不是在抱怨，我只是在描述事实。

21. I am not complaining, I am just describing the facts.

22. 每次在街上走着，都会看到一个奇丑无比的男子，搂着一个美若天仙的女孩。

22. Every time I walk on the street, I see an extremely ugly man embracing a girl beautiful as a celestial being.

23. 生活就像呼吸，呼是为了出一口气，吸是为了争一口气。

23. Life is like breathing, exhaling is to let out a breath, and inhaling is to fight for a breath.

24. 卸无可卸的包袱，退无可退的道路;忍无可忍的眼泪，追无可追的前途。

24. There is nothing left to卸 (unload), no road to retreat; tears that can no longer be endured, a future that can no longer be pursued.

25. 小时候我以为自己长大后可以拯救整个世界，等长大后才发现整个世界都拯救不了我。

25. When I was little, I thought that when I grew up, I would be able to save the whole world. But as I grew up, I realized that I couldn't save myself from the world.

26. 谁说我不会做饭？我就是不会洗碗。

26. Who says I can't cook? I just can't do the dishes.

27. 那个车站的男孩子挺俊的，于是我走到他跟前抢过他的薯片撒腿就跑。

27. The boy at that station was quite handsome, so I walked up to him, snatched his chips, and ran away.

28. 耶稣和释迦牟尼的最大区别是什么？他俩头发一个大卷一个小卷

28. What is the biggest difference between Jesus and Siddhartha Gautama? Their hair is one big curl and one small curl.

29. 我不是一个无所事事的人。我只是喜欢自由的生活。

29. I am not a lazy person. I just like a free lifestyle.

30. 我做的是农民工的活，但工资却没有比农民工多！

30. The work I do is the same as that of migrant workers, but my salary is not higher than that of migrant workers!

31. 吃着吃着停电了，我连忙扒了两口饭，突然灯亮了，我惊呼莫非这就是传说中的扒拉拉能亮

31. While eating, the power went out suddenly. I hurriedly grabbed two mouthfuls of rice, and then, just as I was saying it, the lights came on. I exclaimed in surprise, could this be the legendary "scraping the bowl can light up"?

32. 作为体制内的一员，刚入职前辈就告诉我，两种女同事不能得罪，一是长得漂亮的，背后有很厉害的干爹;一种是长得难看的，背后有很厉害的亲爹。

32. As a member of the system, my senior told me upon my first day that there are two types of female colleagues you should not offend: one is the beautiful one who has a powerful 'daddy' behind her; the other is the unattractive one who has a powerful 'real' father behind her.

33. 你是我记忆里的风景，而沿途的风景，我只能边走边忘。

33. You are the scenery in my memory, while the scenery along the way, I can only forget as I walk.

34. 谁说我不能笑？我只是懒得笑。

34. Who says I can't laugh? I'm just too lazy to.

35. 别以为我懒，我只是在挑战坐着的极限。

35. Don't think I'm lazy, I'm just challenging the limit of sitting still.

36. 说脏话不一定不是好人，有人满肚子坏水还装绅士

36. Swearing doesn't necessarily mean someone is not good, some people are full of bad intentions yet pretend to be gentlemen.

37. 这个世界上我只相信两个人，一个是我，另一个不是你。

37. In this world, I only believe in two people, one is me, and the other is not you.

38. 我一直在希望的田野奔跑，难免不会被失望的石头绊倒

38. I have been running on the fields of hope, and it is inevitable that I will be tripped by the stones of disappointment.

39. 男人膝下有黄金，我把整个腿都切下来了，连块铜也没找着!

39. A man has gold beneath his knees, but I've had my whole leg cut off and not found even a piece of copper!

40. 生活不在于输赢，而在于享受过程。

40. Life is not about winning or losing, but about enjoying the process.

41. 我没有追求完美，因为完美根本不存在。

41. I do not seek perfection, because perfection does not exist at all.

42. 世界上我只相信两个人，一个是我，另一个不是你。

42. In the world, I only believe in two people, one is me, and the other is not you.

43. 很多中国男子并不是不爱打扮，他们只是审美有点跑偏，外加蜜汁自信。举个例子。同样是试衣服。我妈会问我好看吗，我说不好看。我妈会回去换换换，直到我们俩都满意为止。我爸则是问我，我这身好看吗，我说不好看。他说你懂个屁，然后出门了。

43. Many Chinese men are not uninterested in dressing up; they just have a bit of a skewed aesthetic sense, plus a bit of misplaced confidence. Here's an example. Both involve trying on clothes. My mother would ask me if it looks good, and if I said it didn't, she would go back and change it until both of us were satisfied. My father, on the other hand, would ask me if I thought my outfit looked good, and if I said it didn't, he would say "You know nothing," and then he would leave.

44. 悄悄的我吃了，正如我悄悄的胖，我睡了一个懒觉，却带来一身脂肪。

44. I ate in secret, just as I gained weight in secret; I took a lazy nap, only to end up with a layer of fat.

45. 我悄悄的来，悄悄的走，挥一挥匕首，不留一个活口。

45. I come and go in secret, wave my dagger, and leave not a single survivor behind.

46. 与人争执时，退一步海阔天空;追女友时，退一步人去楼空。

46. When in a dispute with someone, take a step back to gain a broader perspective; when chasing after a girlfriend, taking a step back might leave her gone and the building empty.

47. 我花万买了个西周陶罐，昨儿到《鉴宝》栏目进行鉴定，专家严肃地说：这哪是西周的这是上周的!

47. I spent ten thousand yuan on a Western Zhou earthen jar. Yesterday, I took it to the "Appraise the Treasure" program for identification. The expert said solemnly: This is not a Western Zhou jar; it's from last week!

48. 七月我一定好好学习天天向上，绝对不玩手机不谈恋爱。如果做不到，那我八月再发一遍。

48. In July, I will definitely study hard and make progress every day, and absolutely not play with my phone or have a romance. If I can't do it, then I will post this again in August.

49. 女人拥有无数个QQ号只为了调戏一个男人，男人常用一个QQ号上面加满各种各样的女人。

49. A woman has countless QQ numbers just to tease one man, while a man often uses one QQ number to add countless women of all kinds.

50. 在超市买完东西结账，看见前面一老太太消费元，她拿出递给了收银员。收银员看你一下抽屉发现没有零钱，于是问她阿姨，您有吗老太太笑得合不拢嘴，乐呵呵的回答说还呢，我儿子都多啦。

50. After paying for the items at the supermarket, I saw an elderly woman in front of me spending a certain amount of money. She took out the money and handed it to the cashier. The cashier looked at you, then into the drawer and found there was no change. So, he asked the elderly woman, "Do you have any, Auntie?" The old woman smiled widely, happily replying, "Yes, plenty, my son has given me so much."

51. 为什么别人都能成为亿万富翁而我只能成为单身贵族？

51. Why can everyone else become a billionaire, but I can only become a bachelor贵族?

52. 陌生阻止你认识陌生的事物，熟悉妨碍你理解熟悉的事物。

52. The unfamiliar prevents you from recognizing unfamiliar things, and familiarity hinders your understanding of familiar things.

53. 时间牢笼无数，但最难走出的，还是我们的心笼。

53. There are countless time traps, but the hardest one to escape from is still our heart trap.

54. 不是我不上进，而是我喜欢偷懒。

54. It's not that I'm not ambitious, but I like to be lazy.

55. 我是人，不是可爱的机器。

55. I am a human, not a cute machine.

56. 我不是说不清楚。只是你听不懂我在说什么语言。

56. I'm not saying I can't express myself clearly. It's just that you can't understand the language I'm speaking.

57. 你隐身我和你说话你居然忍住不会，你的精神值得学习

57. You can hide, and you can talk to me, but you managed to keep it up without showing. Your spirit is worthy of learning.

58. 理想就像内裤，要有。但不能逢人就去证明你有！

58. Ideals are like underwear; you should have them. But you shouldn't go around proving you have them to everyone!

59. 笨男人+笨女人=结婚;笨男人+聪明女人=离婚;聪明男人+笨女人=婚外情;聪明男人+聪明女人=浪漫爱情。

59. Dumb man + Dumb woman = Marriage; Dumb man + Smart woman = Divorce; Smart man + Dumb woman = Extramarital affair; Smart man + Smart woman = Romantic love.

60. 逆风的方向，更适合飞翔。我不怕万人阻挡，只怕自己投降。

60. The direction against the wind is more suitable for flying. I am not afraid of a million obstacles, but I am afraid of surrendering to myself.

61. 现代人的生活状态：上今天的班，睡昨天的觉，花明天的钱。

61. The modern way of life: work today's shift, sleep last night's sleep, spend tomorrow's money.

62. 我不是广场上算卦的，唠不出那么多你爱听的嗑。

62. I'm not the fortune-teller at the square, I can't chatter so much of the stuff you like to hear.

63. 每个女生都想拥有一个八阿哥，可惜不是人人都可以当晴川。

63. Every girl wants to have an " Eighth Brother", but unfortunately, not everyone can be as clever as Qingchuan.

64. 认识自己，降伏自己，改变自己，才能改变别人。

64. Know yourself, conquer yourself, change yourself, and then you can change others.