在这个荒诞的世界里，笑声如同幽灵般飘荡，它既是死亡的丧钟，也是生命的赞歌。故事从一场突如其来的笑声开始，引出一个个离奇曲折的故事，让人在捧腹大笑中，不禁深思人生的无常与荒诞。

In this absurd world, laughter floats like a ghost, serving as both the toll of death and the hymn of life. The story begins with an unexpected burst of laughter, leading to a series of strange and winding tales that make one laugh heartily while also pondering the transience and absurdity of life.

1. 3谁说iphone手机好，连个收音机功能都没有!

1. Who says the iPhone is good? It doesn't even have a radio function!

2. 晚上我偷偷问魔镜:我是世界上最黑的人吗？镜子发出惊恐的声音:谁？谁他妈的在说话？！

2. At night, I secretly asked the magic mirror: Am I the darkest person in the world? The mirror responded in a startled voice: Who? Who the hell is talking?!

3. 10老子要一门心思泡妞，每人拔一根阴毛留纪念的话，估计能织件毛衣!

3. Laozi wants to focus all his energy on dating girls. If he were to pluck a pubic hair from each person as a keepsake, it would probably be enough to weave a sweater!

4. 不要叫我宅女，请叫我居里夫人。

4. Don't call me a "homebody girl," please call me Madame Curie.

5. 1我左八荣，右八耻，代表在腰间，和谐在胸口，人挡杀人，佛挡杀佛!

5. 1 On my left, there are eight glories; on my right, eight shames, symbolizing harmony at the waist and the chest. I kill those who stand in my way, and if the Buddha stands in my way, I kill the Buddha!

6. 支撑我走下去的不是宏大的理想，而是赚了很多钱然后在buy buy买。

6. What sustains me in walking forward is not grand ideals, but making a lot of money and then buying, buying, buying.

7. 昨天去市里参加放鸽比赛，但是我是一个人去的。

7. I went to the city yesterday to participate in a pigeon release competition, but I went alone.

8. 17朋友就像人民币有真也有假，可惜我不是验钞机。

8. 17 friends are like RMB notes, some are real and some are fake, but unfortunately, I'm not a money detector.

9. 4买了电脑不上宽带，就好比酒肉都准备好了却在吃饭前当了和尚。

9.4 Buying a computer without getting broadband is like preparing wine and meat, only to become a monk before the meal.

10. 10给我一个支点，我把邻居那小子的汽车翘到沟里去，省得他见我就按喇叭。

10. Give me a fulcrum, and I'll flip my neighbor's kid's car into the ditch, so he won't honk at me when he sees me.

11. 于是男生强吻女友，突然一妇女从厨房冲出来！

11. So, the boy kissed his girlfriend forcefully, when suddenly a woman rushed out of the kitchen!

12. 7有时候晚上探望冰箱一下，就是就是想知道它过得好不好。

12. 7 Sometimes I visit the refrigerator at night, just to check if it's doing well.

13. 4年少真的很单薄，什么都很轻，风一吹，我们就走散。

13. Four years are really too thin, everything is so light, a breeze can scatter us.

14. 男友说：怎么不担心？要是哪天人家不送了，我不得大冷天去接你啊。

14. My boyfriend said: Why aren't you worried? What if one day they don't send you anymore, then I'll have to go to pick you up on a cold day.

15. 我相信七夕那天一定会有人捧一大束鲜花来到我的面前，对我说：“麻烦让一下，谢谢。”

15. I believe that on the Qixi Festival, someone will come up to me with a huge bouquet of flowers and say, "Excuse me, please, thank you."

16. 昨天女神给我发消息说今晚家里没人于是我去了他家，敲门敲了一个小时。果然，没人在！

16. Yesterday, the goddess sent me a message saying that no one would be home tonight, so I went to her house. I knocked on the door for an hour. As expected, no one was there!

17. 据说他的剽悍女友，早上起来都吆喝他拿衣服给她穿。

17. It is said that his bold girlfriend would shout at him in the morning to fetch her clothes to wear.

18. 14我把你的名字写在我的鞋底，天天没事的时候跺几脚。

18. 14 I have written your name on the soles of my shoes, and I stamp my feet a few times every day when I have nothing to do.

19. 做我女朋友好不好？只能回答一个字！滚出去。

19. Would you like to be my girlfriend? You can only answer with one word! Get out.

20. 七夕节秀恩爱算什么，有本事跟我在光棍节比抢东西啊。

20. What's showing off affection on the Qixi Festival? Real talent is competing with me to grab things on Singles' Day.

21. 每天早上，我的床拼命拽着我，不让我走。太油腻了。不行，我得想办法治好它。

21. Every morning, my bed pulls me so hard that I can't leave. It's too greasy. No, I've got to find a way to cure it.

22. 5婚后男人就像桌布，只有吃饭的时候才出现。

22.5 After marriage, men are like tablecloths; they only appear during meal times.

23. 16有些事，不是我不在意，而是我在意了又能怎样。

23. 16 There are some things, not that I don't care, but even if I do care, what can I do about it?

24. 最近每天加班到半夜，都是同事小张开车送我回家。我开玩笑地对男友说：小张每天晚上送我，你不担心吗？

24. Lately, I've been working overtime until midnight every day, and it's my colleague Zhang who drives me home. I jokingly said to my boyfriend: Zhang is driving me home every night, don't you worry about it?

25. 进入社会后才发现，我不会拼父母，只会拼多多。

25. After entering society, I realized that I can't rely on my parents, but I can only rely on Pinduoduo (a popular e-commerce platform in China).

26. 5你瞧你吧!看背影急煞千军万马;转过头吓退百万雄师。

26. 5 Look at you! Your back view can scare an army of a thousand horses and ten thousand soldiers; when you turn your head, it can scare away a million strong soldiers.

27. 我对电视剧很无语。每当电视剧里两个人在窃窃私语，我就烦。我为什么要付费成为会员？有什么我听不到的吗？

27. I am so fed up with TV dramas. Whenever two characters in the drama whisper to each other, it irritates me. Why should I pay for a membership? Is there something I can't hear?

28. 恋爱中，你要让男朋友到处做饭，洗碗，洗衣服，赚钱。

28. In a relationship, you should make your boyfriend cook everywhere, wash the dishes, do the laundry, and earn money.

29. 梦见对象死了，哭得很厉害。醒来后发现根本没有对象，哭得更厉害了。

29. Dreamed that the object of affection was dead and cried heavily. Upon waking up, I realized there was no such object, and I cried even harder.

30. 我得出去走走。毕竟这么好的脸总是藏在家里，对社会是很大的损失。

30. I need to go out for a walk. After all, such a good face is hidden at home, which is a great loss to society.

31. 12你还是让我跪搓板吧，跪电暖气实在受不了啊!

31. 12 Let me just kneel on the搓板, I really can't stand kneeling on the electric heater!

32. 我对银行无语了。每次去取钱都显示余额不足。没钱能开什么银行？

32. I'm at my wits' end with the bank. Every time I go to withdraw money, it shows an insufficient balance. What kind of bank can you open without any money?

33. 今天外面风很大，我很害怕。如果其他人都被吹走了，我就不行了。真可惜。

33. The wind is very strong outside today, and I am so scared. If everyone else gets blown away, I wouldn't be able to. It's really a pity.

34. 七夕快到了，我写了三百张“我们分手吧”的小纸条塞进了超市货架上的每盒巧克力里。

34. The Qixi Festival is approaching, and I wrote "Let's break up" on three hundred small notes, which I then stuffed into every box of chocolates on the supermarket shelves.

35. 女人要么漂亮，要么努力。如果她们漂亮，努力，可以拖一点。

35. Women are either beautiful or hardworking. If they are beautiful and hardworking, they can be a bit more indulged.

36. 如果刷牙时感到恶心、干呕，不要对着镜子刷牙。

36. If you feel nausea or dry heaves while brushing your teeth, do not brush your teeth in front of a mirror.

37. 9没胸就该穿校服、腿粗就该穿校裤，人丑就该多读书。

37. If you don't have breasts, you should wear the school uniform; if you have thick legs, you should wear school pants; if you're ugly, you should read more books.

38. 19我减肥已取得了很大的成功，你看，我三个下巴都尖了。

38. I have achieved great success in losing weight, you see, my three chins have all become尖了 (pointed). (Note: The original text "三个下巴都尖了" is a bit unusual and might be interpreted as three chins have all become pointed, which could be a playful way of saying that the person has lost a significant amount of weight around the neck area. The translation tries to maintain this playful tone.)

39. 14这个年代，这个季节对我不离不弃也就只有蚊子了。

39. In the 14th century, during this season, the only thing that never abandons me is the mosquito.

40. 我妹妹结婚的时候，我妈给了我很多嫁妆。姐姐很嫉妒:妈妈，我长大了要结婚。你打算为我准备什么？妈妈叹了口气:一套房子，一辆车，还有一些现金。妹子:这么多！妈妈:嫁给你？就是怪别人，给的太少，我的良心。

40. When my sister got married, my mother gave me a lot of dowry. My elder sister was envious: "Mom, I will get married when I grow up. What are you planning to prepare for me?" Mom sighed: "A house, a car, and some cash." Sister: "So much! Mom: Would you marry me? Even if others are complaining that it's too little, it's my conscience."

41. 6宁可牺牲中国最后一个处男，决不留下日本任何一个处女!

41. 6 It is better to sacrifice the last virginal Chinese man than to leave any Japanese virgin behind!

42. 如果七夕你觉得孤单，就把灯关了放一部恐怖片，过一会你就觉得你不是一个人了。

42. If you feel lonely on the Qixi Festival, just turn off the lights and watch a horror movie. After a while, you'll feel like you're not alone anymore.

43. 20洗澡中，请勿打扰，偷窥请购票，个体四十，团体八折!

43. While bathing, please do not disturb. Peeping is subject to ticket purchase. Individual tickets are 40 yuan, and group tickets are 20% off!

44. 这个社区的停车场设计得太差了，简直像个迷宫。每次出门都要很久才发现自己没有车！

44. The parking lot design of this community is terrible, it's just like a maze. Every time I leave, it takes me a long time to realize that I don't have my car!

45. 3风情万种的女人是打火机，不解风情的女人是灭火器。

45. A woman with a myriad of charms is a lighter, while a woman without any charm is an extinguisher.

46. 他说：导购mm会拿衣服让我穿，我喜欢这衣来伸手的感觉。

46. He said: The salesperson would pick up clothes for me to try on, and I like the feeling of having clothes handed to me.

47. 最近手有点疼去看医生。医生说我玩手机玩多了需要一个女生的手才能好起来。

47. Lately, my hands have been a bit sore, so I went to see a doctor. The doctor said that I need a girl's hands to get better since I play too much on my phone.

48. 我摸了摸自己腿上的毛，有点扎手，也许这就是扎手吧！

48. I touched the hair on my leg, and it was a bit prickly, maybe this is what it feels like to be prickly!

49. 帅的人都一个人安静的过七夕，丑的人却拼了命的秀恩爱。

49. Handsome men quietly spend the Qixi Festival alone, while ugly ones拼命 show off their love.

50. 七夕礼物清单什么的可以晒，只要记得别晒对象就行，万一重了对谁都不好。

50. You can share a list of Qixi gifts, just remember not to show off your partner, as it might cause trouble for everyone if you get it wrong.

51. 13长相分两种，一种是好看的，一种是难看的，你是属于中间的，好难看的。

51. There are two types of appearances: one is good-looking and the other is ugly. You fall in the middle, which is incredibly ugly.

52. “七夕你要送我什么？”“我送你离开千里之外。”

52. "What are you going to give me on the Qixi Festival?" "I'm going to give you a gift of leaving a thousand miles away."

53. 妇女指着男生骂道：“为什么欺负我的外甥女？！

53. The woman pointed at the boy and scolded, "Why are you bullying my niece?!"

54. 12我不会勉强自己，我不会虚伪自己，我不会复杂自己，我要的。一直都很简单。

54. 12 I will not force myself, I will not pretend, I will not complicate myself, what I want. It has always been simple.