在熙熙攘攘的“朋友圈”里，总有一些话语，犹如利剑，刺痛着人们的内心。那些最富有教养的讥讽，往往隐藏在看似温文尔雅的言辞之下，悄然无声地伤害着每一个人。

In the bustling "social circle," there are always some words that act like swords, piercing people's hearts. The most refined sarcasm often hides beneath seemingly polite and courteous speech, silently hurting everyone.

1. 进化不完全的生命/，基因突变的外星人。

1. An imperfectly evolved life form, alien with genetic mutations.

2. 女人如衣服，兄弟如手足。回想起来，我居然在《太多厨子》里裸奔了n年！

2. Women are like clothes, brothers are like limbs. When I think back, I can't believe I ran around in the nude for n years in "Too Many Cooks"!

3. 翻开杂志美人多，打开电视广告多，拿起报纸套话多，看篇文章署名多。

3. Opening a magazine reveals many beautiful people, turning on the TV shows numerous advertisements, picking up a newspaper finds many platitudes, and reading an article discovers many different signatures.

4. 26不必把太多人请进你的生命里。若他们走不进你的内心，就只会把你的生命搅扰得拥挤不堪。

4. 26 Don't let too many people into your life. If they can't enter your heart, they will only make your life crowded and chaotic.

5. 30我不喝别人喝过的水，也没兴趣和别人分享同一个谁。

5. I don't drink water that others have had, and I'm also not interested in sharing the same cup with anyone.

6. 28世间最好的默契，并非有人懂你的言外之意，而是有人懂你的欲言又止。

6. The best默契 in the world is not that someone understands the hidden meaning in your words, but that someone understands when you want to say something but stop yourself.

7. 世界很大，但比你缺少的头脑更大。

7. The world is vast, but the mind it lacks is even greater than that.

8. 7你以为自我是太阳呀，别人都得围着你转。你要知道宇宙之中也就一个地球，可能还让你的气焰烤爆了。

8. 7 You think you are the sun, and everyone has to revolve around you. You should know that there is only one Earth in the universe, and it might even burst your arrogance with its heat.

9. 打扮的比鬼还丑。当你盛装打扮时，鬼魂会麻痹你。

9. Dressed up more ugly than a ghost. When you dress up to the nines, ghosts will paralyze you.

10. 11很多事，唯有当距离渐远时，才能回首看清它。

10.11 Many things can only be seen clearly in perspective as distance increases.

11. 如果女生关机了，然后开机发现有20个以上的未接来电，瞬间觉得幸福死了，如果男生关机了，然后开机发现有20多个未接来电，瞬间觉得，卧槽，尼玛，这次死定了

11. If a girl turns off her phone and finds over 20 missed calls when she turns it on, she feels incredibly happy instantly. If a boy turns off his phone and finds more than 20 missed calls when he turns it on, he thinks to himself, f*ck, this time it's definitely doomed.

12. 男人善于发现老婆的缺点，女人善于发现老公的优点。

12. Men are good at finding their wife's flaws, while women are good at discovering their husband's merits.

13. 百年前躺着吸鸦片，百年后躺着玩手机， 姿态有着惊人的相似!可能没时间亲子，可能没时间尽孝，确花大把的时间捧着手机傻笑。不知不觉中我们形成了一种可怕的习惯，早晨睁开眼第一件事是摸摸手机在哪里，晚上睡之前最后一件事还是玩手机，似乎离了手机就与世隔绝一般的孤独!其实今日的智能手机与当初的鸦片一样，蚕食着我们的热情与灵魂!世界上最遥远的距离就是我在你身边，而你却在玩手机。

13. A century ago, people lay down to smoke opium; a century later, they lay down to play with their smartphones, and the posture is astonishingly similar! Maybe there's no time for family bonding, maybe no time to show filial piety, but they spend heaps of time idiotically smiling at their phones. Unconsciously, we have formed a terrible habit: the first thing in the morning is to feel where the phone is, and the last thing before going to bed is to play with the phone, as if without the phone, we would be isolated from the world. In fact, today's smartphones are just like the opium of the past, slowly consuming our passion and soul! The most distant distance in the world is when I am beside you, but you are playing with your phone.

14. 失败的男人喜欢和别人比老婆，成功的女人喜欢和别人比老公。

14. Failed men like to compare their wives with others, while successful women prefer to compare their husbands.

15. 你够蠢的！一眼就能看出一个屎傻子！

15. You're so dumb! You can tell a fool at a glance!

16. 记得读高中时候班上有个逗比同学，被教导主任抓到谈恋爱， 班主任开班会时狠狠的批评了他，并要求他写检讨，念给全班同学听。 这哥们儿一听急了，愤然拍案而起、难道爱一个人有错吗？

16. Remember when I was in high school, there was a comical classmate of mine who got caught dating. The headmaster caught him, and the class teacher harshly criticized him during a class meeting and required him to write a self-criticism to be read aloud to the whole class. This guy got so upset when he heard this, he slammed the table with his palm and exclaimed, "Is it a crime to love someone?"

17. 阁下是天生的灵感！

17. You are naturally inspired!

18. 为人处事要小心，但不要心胸狭窄！

18. Be cautious in dealing with people, but do not be narrow-minded!

19. 8人生最大的悲哀，并不是在于你得不到或者失去的，而是你根本不知道你自己要的是什么。

19. The greatest sorrow of life is not that you don't get what you want or lose what you have, but that you have no idea what you truly desire.

20. 17星巴克，一家以咖啡店为主题的照相馆。肯德基，一家以快餐店为主题的公共厕所。学校，一所以学习为主题的婚姻介绍所。

20. 17 Starbucks, a photo studio themed around coffee shops. KFC, a public toilet themed around fast-food restaurants. School, a marriage introduction agency themed around education.

21. 现代的你真Tm落后。

21. You modern people are truly backward.

22. 乐观的人只顾著笑，而忘了怨；悲观的人只顾著怨，而忘了笑。

22. Optimistic people are only focused on laughing, and forget to complain; pessimistic people are only focused on complaining, and forget to laugh.

23. 2别理那些对你忽冷忽热的人，他们只有在没人陪的时候才会想到你。

23. 2 Ignore those who are cold and warm to you at will; they only think of you when they have no one else to be with.

24. 如果你又酷又帅，人类就只能用无性繁殖了。如果你很可爱，可以瞬间解决人口膨胀的问题。

24. If you're both cool and handsome, humans would only be able to reproduce asexually. If you're incredibly cute, you could instantly solve the problem of overpopulation.

25. 13电话打一次不接就别打第二次，信息发两次不回就别发第三次，别为了一个不在乎你的人而委曲求全。

25. If you make a phone call and they don't answer the first time, don't call again. If you send a message twice and don't get a response, don't send a third one. Don't compromise for someone who doesn't care about you.

26. 在这个薄情年代，要想别人对你念念不忘，最好的办法就是欠钱不还。

26. In this age of coldness, the best way to make others remember you is by not paying back the money you owe.

27. 男人和女人在车里吵架生气，如果是女人开车她会猛踩刹车，如果是男人开车他会猛踩油门。

27. When men and women argue and get angry in the car, if the woman is driving, she will slam on the brakes, and if the man is driving, he will slam on the gas pedal.

28. 最穷的男人买菜也不讲价，最有钱的女人买菜也要讨价还价。

28. The poorest man doesn't haggle over vegetables when shopping, while the wealthiest woman still tries to negotiate the price.

29. 你应该被枪毙在墙上。

29. You should be shot and hung on the wall.

30. 问、世界上最伟大的动物是什么？ 答、公鸡。 问、为什么？ 答、因为公鸡活着的时候早上会叫人起床，死了的时候会变成鸡毛掸子叫人起床。

30. Question: What is the greatest animal in the world? Answer: The rooster. Question: Why? Answer: Because the rooster will wake people up with its crowing in the morning when it is alive, and it will turn into a feather duster to wake people up when it is dead.

31. 通常情况下说晚安的意思其实是不聊了我自己刷微博刷朋友圈听歌看书去了，总之是不聊了但我一时半会也不睡呢！

31. Usually when people say "good night," it actually means they want to stop chatting and go do their own things like browsing Weibo, checking their WeChat Moments, listening to music, or reading books. In short, they don't want to chat anymore, but they're not going to sleep anytime soon either!

32. 邻居家小萝莉跟她奶奶到广场散步，广场上很多老年人在锻炼身体， 小萝莉跑到一个荡秋千的老奶奶背后推了一把说、奶奶，我来送你上西天。 老奶奶差点一口血没上来。

32. The little girl from the neighbor's house went for a walk to the square with her grandmother. There were many elderly people exercising in the square. The little girl ran up to an elderly woman sitting on a swing and pushed her, saying, "Grandma, I'll help you go to the afterlife." The elderly woman almost choked on her own blood.

33. 爸爸，巫师是什么？ 巫师 就是不做好事、邪恶的人。 那巫婆呢？ 巫婆就是 我知道了，巫婆就是巫师的老婆！对吧！！！

33. Dad, what is a wizard? A wizard is someone who doesn't do good deeds, an evil person. What about the witch? A witch is... I know, a witch is the wife of a wizard! Right!!!

34. 是上帝的创造力创造了你，是你继续活下去的勇气。

34. It is God's creativity that created you, and it is your courage that continues to keep you alive.

35. 24羡慕两种女孩子，一种是游戏打的贼好，一种是游戏坑的一逼但是却会撒娇，我属于卡在中间的，又坑又不会撒娇，但我骂人很6。

35. I envy two types of girls: one is really good at playing games, and the other is terrible at it but knows how to pout. I'm stuck in the middle, both bad at playing games and not good at pouting, but I'm quite skilled at cursing people.

36. 有个大妈在收银台付款，收银妹∶你好，一共68块8，谢谢！ 大妈淡定的给了60之后，从挎包里抓出来两把水果糖，数给收银妹88颗 妹子凌乱了 gc是，大妈说、我这还有呢，怕你们没零钱又找我糖，我都带着

36. There was an elderly woman paying at the cashier. The cashier girl said, "Hello, the total is 68 and 8 yuan, thank you!" After the elderly woman calmly gave 60 yuan, she pulled out two handfuls of fruit candy from her satchel and counted out 88 pieces for the cashier girl. The girl was flustered. The old woman then said, "I still have more, I was afraid you didn't have change and would ask me for more candy, so I brought some with me."

37. 这头儿最坏!13岁杀了他爸，15岁把母亲推入河中，17岁自灭满门!看了她不到5分钟，眼泪儿下来了--大姐，我想这是场误会

37. This guy is the worst! He killed his dad at the age of 13, pushed his mom into the river at 15, and exterminated his entire family at 17! I couldn't watch her for even less than 5 minutes before the tears started flowing -- Older sister, I think this is a misunderstanding.

38. 16你不经意的一笑，我念了很多年，即使我知道，那不是为我。

38. Your unintended smile has been on my mind for many years, even though I know it was not for me.

39. 5。2。 舅舅就随便敷衍他说、比我厉害比我厉害！ 结果他更得意了，开始大声朗读他的体检表、身高xxx，体重xx心脏正常，包皮过长。 然后大家安静了

39. 5.2. The uncle just casually replied to him, "You're better than me, you're better than me!" As a result, he became even more pleased, and started to loudly read his physical examination report: height xxx, weight xx, heart normal, phimosis. Then everyone fell silent.