在“幽默搞笑朋友圈说说的配图”这个主题下，让我们先从一句充满欢笑的句子开始：

Under the theme of "Pictures for Humorous and Comical Friend Circle Sayings," let's start with a sentence full of laughter:

1. 小时候不爱吃，导致现在个子矮；现在爱吃，导致又胖又矮。

1. Didn't like to eat when young, resulting in short stature now; now love to eat, resulting in both obesity and short stature.

2. 什么叫孤独，50元话费6个月没用完，就让每月房租扣了…

2. What is loneliness? Not using up 50 yuan of phone credit in 6 months, and then having it deducted from the monthly rent...

3. 我经常去海边，但是我不喜欢大海，但是我喜欢海浪。

3. I often go to the seaside, but I don't like the sea, but I do like the waves.

4. 我发誓再在网上买东西就剁手。现在在网上看假肢。

4. I发誓再也不在网上购物了,否则就剁手。现在我在网上看假肢。

5. 如果两个人是长期的，盯着对方看也是一件浪漫的事。

5. If two people have been together for a long time, locking eyes with each other can also be a romantic thing.

6. 我要靠威胁去做一个长得好看的女生才能做的事情。

6. I have to rely on threats to do something that a beautiful girl can do.

7. 如果你对你老婆不好，别怪我对你老婆太好。——隔壁老王

7. If you're not good to your wife, don't blame me for being too good to her. — Old Wang from next door

8. 喜欢看社会妹子的励志故事，从初中高中超级牛逼到长大后当服务员洗碗工业传单。

8. Enjoy watching the motivational stories of social girls, from being super awesome in junior and senior high school to becoming a dishwasher and distributing industrial flyers as a server after growing up.

9. 我曾经是一名校长。我只是好奇人渣的世界。我进去看了看，然后就迷路了。

9. I used to be a principal. I was just curious about the world of scum. I went in to take a look and then got lost.

10. 还有人赖在床上是因为有钱，想睡多晚就睡多晚。我卧床是因为没钱，所以能省一顿饭。

10. Some people stay in bed because they are wealthy, wanting to sleep as late as they wish. I stay in bed because I don't have enough money, so I can save on a meal.

11. 我没有吹牛的意思。根据我现在的成绩和学习状态，以及对未来经济走势的了解，实话告诉你，以后我会横扫全城。

11. I'm not boasting. Based on my current achievements and learning status, as well as my understanding of the future economic trends, let me tell you the truth, I will sweep the entire city in the future.

12. 我拿起一盏神灯，希望我能在死前找到一个人。结果我获得了永生。

12. I picked up an enchanted lamp, hoping to find a person before I die. As a result, I obtained eternal life.

13. 数学是最浪漫的。它比世界上任何东西都完美。它从不说谎、背叛或消失。

13. Mathematics is the most romantic. It is more perfect than anything in the world. It never lies, betrays, or disappears.

14. 有个朋友说中午吃了牛排和各种高档食物，然后出去玩。结果晕车吐了一车方便面。

14. A friend said they had a steak and various high-end foods for lunch, then went out to play. As a result, they got car sick and vomited all over the car with instant noodles.

15. 以前的我年轻有冲劲，现在青春没了，我也这么有冲劲。

15. The me of the past was young and full of vigor, and now that my youth is gone, I still have this vigor.

16. 给我一张床，让我可以睡到世界灭亡。

16. Give me a bed so that I can sleep through the end of the world.

17. 偷吃不是我的错，是嘴巴的孤独。

17. Eating in secret is not my fault; it's the loneliness of my mouth.

18. “路痴是一种怎样的体验？”“陛下不敢让我出山，怕我回不来。”

18. "What is the experience of being a 'road idiot'?" "Your Majesty is afraid to let me go out, worrying that I won't come back."

19. 走牛B的路，让傻B说去吧。

19. Walk the path of the牛逼, let the dumbass talk.

20. 你太迷人了，无数盲人都争着要你的腰。

20. You are so charming, countless blind people are vying for your waist.

21. 古时候马车慢，字母长。你一生只能爱一个人，但你可以容纳很多小妾。

21. In ancient times, carriages were slow, and letters were long. You can only love one person in your lifetime, but you can accommodate many concubines.

22. “主人，快点！帮我追上前面的出租车！我给你200元。”司机说好，拿起对讲机:“喂，老张，你回来。”

22. "Master, hurry up! Help me catch up with the taxi in front! I'll give you 200 yuan." The driver agreed, picked up the intercom: "Hey, Old Zhang, come back."

23. 只温暖一个女生的男生叫暖男，温暖所有女生的男生叫锅炉。

23. A boy who warms up one girl is called a "warm boy," while a boy who warms up all girls is called a "boiler."

24. 英语听力就是听两个傻逼，然后问我们他们说了什么。

24. English listening comprehension is just about listening to two idiots and then asking us what they said.

25. 我的告白方式一直简单粗暴，有时间一起睡。

25. My way of confessing has always been simple and rough; if you have time, let's sleep together.

26. 一般喜欢讲荤段子的女生都很漂亮。为什么？因为他们必须有自己美丽的外表来掩盖自己猥琐的内心。

26. Girls who usually tell dirty jokes are very beautiful. Why? Because they must have their own beautiful appearance to cover up their own sinister inner selves.

27. 你在北方冻成鬼，我在南方露大腿。

27. You freeze to death in the north, while I show my thighs in the south.

28. 狼到处吃肉，到处挨打。

28. The wolf eats meat everywhere and is beaten everywhere.

29. 我一伸手就知道你不会跟我走，就伸出腿绊倒了你。你真的站起来追我。

29. As soon as I reached out, I knew you wouldn't follow me, so I extended my leg to trip you. You really got up to chase after me.