1. 记住 作业与你同在 你 本来就写不完

1. Remember, the homework is always with you; you were never going to finish it in the first place.

2. 李宫俊现在喷你的人越来越有节奏@！

2. Li Gongjun now has people spitting at you with increasing rhythm @!

3. 幸福就是猫吃鱼，狗啃骨头，我睡觉。

3. Happiness is cats eating fish, dogs gnawing on bones, and me sleeping.

4. 我们最好的默契就是，谁也不联系谁

4. The best understanding we have is that neither of us contacts the other.

5. 电脑，莪这么爱妳，妳却给莪死机。

5. Computer, I love you so much, and yet you freeze on me.

6. 若不是深爱着你 我又何必如此在意。

6. If I didn't love you deeply, why would I care so much?

7. 黑照相片不是在墓碑上就是扣扣头像

7. Black and white photographs are either on tombstones or as profile pictures.

8. 玉帝最聪明，为什么呢？让猴子去看桃！

8. The Jade Emperor is the smartest, why? Let the monkey watch the peaches!

9. 有朝一日我辉煌，带着闺蜜一起狂！

9. Someday when I shine, I'll go wild with my bestie by my side!

10. 天上不會掉餡餅，隻會掉蘤盆。

10. There is no free lunch in the sky, only the falling of dumplings.

11. 别问我缺什么。 我现在就缺个对象。

11. Don't ask me what I lack. What I lack right now is a partner.

12. 我不是痴情 是没人激得起我新的热情

12. I'm not a romantic; it's just that no one can ignite my new passion.

13. 是我错过了时间，还是时间错过了我！

13. Was it me who missed the time, or was it the time that missed me!

14. 天使面孔魔鬼身材形容的就是我

14. The phrase "angel face, devil's body" describes me perfectly.

15. 即鉂妳侢齣衆，珴匜沬铋瞧棏唭妳。

15. That's because you are too conceited, you look down on others.

16. 如果分开 从此以后我爱上的人都像你

16. If separated, from this day forward, everyone I fall in love with will be like you.

17. 没有人能叫我输， 除非我自己不想赢.

17. No one can make me lose unless I don't want to win myself.

18. 星期三，我生日。我希望一切太平。

18. Wednesday is my birthday. I hope everything is peaceful.

19. 不要对爱太认真，不然被人玩到深。

19. Don't take love too seriously, otherwise you might be deeply deceived.

20. 即使你是皇后我是妃、皇上也是我的人

20. Even if you are the empress and I am the consort, or the emperor is under my control.

21. 你娘追我十条街，硬说我长的像你爹。

21. Your mother chased me for ten streets and insisted that I look like your father.

22. 真汉子越来越少，女汉子越来越多]

22. Real men are becoming rarer and more and more "tomboys" are appearing.

23. 别人都在 装正经，而我只能装不正经

23. Everyone else is putting on a front of seriousness, but I can only pretend to be unserious.

24. 都这个年代了、还要相亲，我OUT了。

24. It's the 21st century already, and I'm still expected to go on blind dates? I'm out of this.

25. 你们身边有狗吗 就是会说人话的那种

25. Do you have a dog nearby that can talk in human language?

26. 晚上死活睡不着 早上怎么起都起不来

26. Can't sleep at night, can't wake up no matter how hard I try in the morning.

27. 有病你治病，别找我阿，我又不是兽医.

27. If you're sick, you should treat your illness, don't come to me. I'm not a veterinarian.

28. 是人是狗，是敌是友，时间长了自己瞅.

28. Whether they are humans or dogs, friends or foes, time will tell.

29. 学生物为了造孩子 这学习真特么有用

29. Biologist studies to make children, this learning is really useful.

30. 谁也别说谁是骚，都是插座找插销。

30. No one should say who is who, it's all about the socket finding the plug.

31. 我和暑假分手了，因为开学那***！

31. I broke up with summer vacation because of the new semester!

32. 女友一说想我，我就知道她又饿了。

32. As soon as my girlfriend says she misses me, I know she's hungry again.

33. 飞车玩久了骑个自行车都想要漂移。

33. Riding a car for a long time makes you want to drift even while riding a bicycle.

34. 离开的人 只能微微笑说一句恕不远送

34. The person leaving can only smile faintly and say, "I apologize for not seeing you off far."

35. 我要努力存钱，买个ATM自动提款机。

35. I will work hard to save money and buy an ATM cash withdrawal machine.

36. 这个世界这么脏，谁有资格说悲伤！

36. This world is so dirty, who is qualified to say sorrow!

37. 神州行，我看行，不交话费行不行！

37. The journey across the great land, I believe it can be done, but can it be done without paying the phone bill?

38. 唾沫是用来数钞票的不是用来讲理的

38. Spittle is not for counting money but for arguing.

39. 男人要么不花心、要么来月经、

39. Men are either faithful or have periods.

40. 美女，旁邊要有豬頭男，才顯的漂亮

40. Beautiful woman, you need a pig-headed man beside you to look more beautiful.

41. 带上耳机 调成最大声 外界与我无关

41. Put on the headphones, turn the volume up to the max, and let the outside world have nothing to do with me.

42. 只有一直吃，才能留住我饱满得性格

42. Only by continuously eating can I maintain my full-bodied character.

43. 变形金刚说其实青菜也是荤的。。。

43. Transformers say that actually green vegetables are also meat.

44. 女孩的可爱程度，与能吃程度成正比

44. The level of cuteness of the girl is proportional to her ability to eat.

45. 关于明天的事，我们后天就知道了。

45. About tomorrow's matter, we will know it the day after tomorrow.

46. 一声姐妹大过天，男的***算个毛！

46. A sister's voice is louder than the heavens, and what does a man's*** matter!

47. 你又不是我，凭什么说跟我感同身受

47. You're not me, what gives you the right to say that you can empathize with me?

48. 你既然勾三搭四，我何必独一无二。

48. Since you are already entangled with others, why should I be unique?

49. 天下男人千千万，实在不行天天换

49. There are thousands of men in the world; if it's really not working out, why not change them every day?

50. 既然走不进你的眼 就让你离开我的心

50. Since I can't enter your eyes, let you leave my heart.

51. 人生就是一场戏，跟狗生气没意义！

51. Life is a stage play; it's meaningless to get angry with a dog!

52. 不是你太胖，是上帝妒你变瘦太美！

52. It's not that you're too fat, but God is jealous of you becoming too thin and beautiful!

53. 从不开口说爱。 因为爱不能当饭吃。

53. Never utter the words of love. Because love cannot be eaten as food.

54. 我活了18年才知道观音菩萨是男的

54. It took me 18 years to learn that the Guanyin Bodhisattva is male.

55. 状态是干出来的，而不是等出来的。

55. Success is achieved through action, not through waiting.

56. 面对试卷的时候 我发现我得了白学病

56. When facing the exam paper, I found out that I had caught the "white disease." (Note: "白学病" is a playful and informal term in Chinese that refers to a situation where someone is unprepared or unprepared for an exam or test, often used among students. "White disease" is a translation that maintains the playful and informal tone of the original Chinese phrase.)

57. 每次到星期5我的心情就自然好起来了

57. Every time it's Friday, my mood naturally improves.

58. 白天不懂夜的黑，学霸不懂渣的泪。

58. Those who don't know the darkness of night can't comprehend the tears of those who are not as accomplished.