1. 为什么你坐在那儿，看上去就像一个没写地址的邮封？

2. 阅读保健类书籍时要小心，你可能死于错误印刷。

3. In the beginning was nonsense, and the nonsense was with God, and the nonsense was God.

4. A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

5. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

6. Governments need to have both shepherds and butchers.

7. 不读好书的人与那些读不懂他们的人相比，没有什么好得意的。

8. Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

9. 胡话一开始也就是胡话，但这些胡话是和上帝有关的，所以最后胡话也就成了上帝。

10. 啊，女人，你使高尚者更高尚，也能创造更多卑微者。

11. 政府既需要牧羊人也需要屠夫。

12. 如果你决心讲述真相，就把体面留给裁缝。

13. 我不知道第三次世界大战会用什么武器，但我确定第四次世界大战用的武器会是棍子和石头。

14. 人类是上帝犯的一个错误，还是上帝是人类犯的一个错误。

15. If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.

16. Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

17. 我从不参加葬礼，但我会写封亲切的信表明我是赞成葬礼的。

18. Is man one of Gods blunders? Or is God one of mans blunders?

19. I didnt attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

20. The man who doesnt read good books has no advantage over the man who cant read them.

21. 在精神病院随便走走表明信仰什么都不是。

22. I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

23. 帽偷吃奶油的时候总是闭着眼睛。

24. The cat shuts its eyes when stealing cream.