1. 给自己养成好习惯，为别人留下好环境。

1. Cultivate good habits for yourself and leave a good environment for others.

2. 玩开心网你偷到的最值钱是什么？网吧的鼠标．．．

2. What is the most valuable thing you've stolen from Kaixin001? The mouse from the Internet cafe...

3. 洋人街可度假、可观景、可办婚礼（拥有欧式教堂，鸽子纷飞，维也纳大厅金碧辉煌）、可以运动、可以当做拍摄基地等。

3. The Foreign Street is suitable for vacationing, sightseeing, and hosting weddings (it boasts an European-style church with pigeons flying around, the Vienna Hall shimmering with grandeur), it can also be used for sports activities, and serves as a shooting location, etc.

4. 向前一步靠，滴水不外落。

4. Step forward a step, not a single drop will fall outside.

5. 如果有一天你突然消失，你觉得会有人疯狂地找你吗？？如果我还欠着银行的房贷和车贷

5. If one day you suddenly disappeared, do you think someone would go crazy looking for you?? If I still owe the bank a mortgage for a house and a car loan...

6. 如果你不给别人方便，你将不能”方便”。你们想看看酒吧厕所标语有哪些吗?

6. If you don't make it convenient for others, you won't be able to enjoy convenience yourself. Would you like to see some of the slogans on bar restroom signs?

7. 用完厕所“方便”后，一定要：洗刷刷洗刷刷……

7. After using the toilet for "convenience," one must definitely: wash, wash, wash, wash...

8. 、我想我是个变态，我有恋母和喜欢极品熟女的癖好。不然为什么每次看到我们超市主管的那张脸，我都想操她奶奶？

8. I think I'm a pervert; I have a mother-in-law complex and a preference for mature,极品 women. Otherwise, why do I always feel the urge to "do" the manager of our supermarket every time I see her face?

9. 你最学习雷锋的一件事是什么？抱着大嫂送孩子回家。

9. What is the most memorable thing you have done in the spirit of Lei Feng? Carrying the big sister to take her child home.

10. 同志们!冲啊!

10. Comrades! Charge!

11. 、生活与生存之间就一字之差，但却是天上人间，有多少人在生活，又有多少人在生存？试问自己是在生活还是在生存？

11. There is only one character difference between "life" and "survival," but it's a world apart, heaven and earth. How many people are truly living, and how many are merely surviving? Ask yourself: Are you living or merely surviving?

12. 靠近点!别以为你那玩意有多长。

12. Get closer! Don't think your thing is that long.

13. 一哥们是汽车租赁公司的，一天中午去他公司闲转，我问他：天天租车给别人，有遇到过奇葩的客人吗？这货看了看院子里，说：那人一大早来租的车，到现在还没倒出去。

13. A friend works at a car rental company. One noon, I went to his office for a casual visit and asked him, "Since you rent cars to others every day, have you ever encountered any peculiar customers?" He looked around the yard and said, "That person came to rent a car early in the morning, and it's still not returned to the parking spot.

14. 请高抬贵手。

14. Please have mercy.

15. 、相爱是种感觉，当这种感觉已经不在时，我却还在勉强自己，这叫责任！分手是种勇气！当这种勇气已经不在时，我却还在鼓励自己，这叫悲壮！

15. Falling in love is a feeling, and when this feeling is no longer present, I still force myself to endure, which is called responsibility! Breaking up is a kind of courage! When this courage is no longer there, I still encourage myself, which is called tragic heroism!

16. 我躺在病床上，问护士：爱情没有了，亲情没有了，友情没有了，健康没有了，钱也没有了，我是不是一无所有了呢？护士连忙温柔的说：怎么可以这样说自己呢？你不是还有病嘛。。。

16. Lying in the hospital bed, I asked the nurse: "Love is gone, family ties are gone, friendship is gone, health is gone, and money is gone. Am I nothing at all, then?" The nurse quickly replied gently: "How can you say such things about yourself? You still have your illness, after all..."

17. 冲水是一桩小事，文明是一件大事。

17. Flushing the toilet is a small matter, but civilization is a big deal.

18. 出门遇到乞丐找我讨钱，说几天没吃饭了 ，我刚把零钱买了馒头，看他可怜分2个给他，尼玛他竟然说我打发要饭的啊难道他不是要饭的吗？

18. When I went out, I met a beggar asking me for money, saying he hadn't eaten for several days. I had just bought some steamed buns with my change and gave him two of them out of pity. The hell, he actually said I was sending the beggar away! Does he not know he's a beggar?

19. 男生寝室忽然停电，同学们大喊：来电，来电！不一会，电果然来了。 神了男生们一起欢呼起来：来女人，来女人！管理寝室的阿姨来了，大吼一声：都给老娘闭嘴。

19. Suddenly, the electricity went out in the boys' dormitory, and the students shouted: "Power on, power on!" Not long after, the electricity came back on. The boys were amazed and cheered together: "Women, women!" The dormitory supervisor, an elderly woman, came in and shouted: "All of you shut up!"

20. 你初吻是在什么情况下发生的？6岁的时候我对一个比我小一岁的女孩儿说：不同意我把你推水沟里去。

20. Under what circumstances did your first kiss occur? When I was 6 years old, I told a girl who was one year younger than me: I won't agree to push you into the gutter.

21. 毕业多年了，今天教师节了，老师我很想您，您辛苦了。您教给我的知识我已经还给您了，您看什么时候把学费还给我，我好买个iphone6s！

21. It's been many years since I graduated, and it's Teacher's Day today. Teacher, I really miss you and you've worked so hard. The knowledge you taught me, I've already repaid to you. When can I get back the tuition fee, so I can buy an iPhone 6s!

22. 立即！马上！别想！说一个p打头的英语单词 pI GU !!!

22. Right now! Immediately! Don't even think about it! Say a p-word in English! pI GU!!!

23. 有人撒你一身油，对你说：别担心，有奥妙全自动，你咋办？打到他肾亏，对他说别担心，有六味地黄丸，治肾亏，不含糖。

23. Someone splashes you with oil all over and tells you: Don't worry, there's the Omnipotent Automatic. What would you do? You hit him in the kidney and say, don't worry, there's the Six-Ingredient Rehmannia Pill to treat kidney deficiency, which doesn't contain sugar.

24. 、男人送女人胸衣，表示想建立情人关系；女人送男人内裤，表示已经有了情人关系。

24. A man giving a woman a bra signifies his desire to establish a romantic relationship; a woman giving a man underwear signifies that she has already entered into a romantic relationship.

25. 晚上和朋友喝完酒，我自己打车回家，刚上出租车，司机就问我：小伙子，你是不是喝酒了？我有点惊讶：呦！师傅您这鼻子够灵的，都闻见我身上的酒味了？司机说： 闻你妹啊！你从我车顶上下来先！

25. After having a drink with friends at night, I took a taxi home by myself. As soon as I got into the taxi, the driver asked me, "Young man, did you have a drink?" I was a bit surprised: "Wow! Your sense of smell is sharp, you can even smell the alcohol on me?" The driver replied, "What the hell are you talking about! Get out of my car first!"

26. 旧金山花街：

27. 洋人街里根本没有洋人，其实就是一个巨大的游乐园，你可以看到中国的传统建筑，你还可以看到充满异域风情的欧式建筑，甚至还有埃及的金字塔，隐约有一种地球村的感觉。

26. San Francisco's Flower Street: 27. There are no foreigners on the Alien Street at all; it's actually a huge amusement park. You can see traditional Chinese architecture, and you can also see European-style buildings with a sense of exoticism, even Egyptian pyramids, giving an implicit feeling of a global village.

28. 在大街上听见一个小正太和一个小萝莉说话，小正太：我给你一个冰淇淋，你和我一起走吧~小萝莉：哼，我是不会为了一个冰淇淋跟你走的！小正太：2个！小萝莉：等一等，我还要回家收拾一些东西。

28. On the street, I heard a little boy and a little girl talking. The little boy: I'll give you an ice cream, let's go together~ The little girl: Hmph, I won't go with you for just an ice cream! The little boy: Two! The little girl: Wait a minute, I still need to go home and gather some things.

29. 前段时间单位体检，一同事长的胖血管不明显，医生扎了好几针没抽到血，无奈的说同志，你真～恩，你真壮，同事很实在，医生，我不是壮，我是胖

29. During the recent physical examination at our workplace, a colleague, who was overweight and had not very prominent veins, had to be pricked several times by the doctor before any blood was drawn. The doctor helplessly said, "Comrade, you really are... well, you are really strong." The colleague was very straightforward and replied to the doctor, "I'm not strong, I'm just overweight."

30. 一天，同桌上课玩手机，突然，手机响了起来，同桌把手机迅速扔到我手里，我淡定地站起来，对着望着我的全班同学说到:老师，我玩了手机，你把它砸了吧！

30. One day, my classmate was playing with their phone during class. Suddenly, the phone rang. The classmate quickly threw the phone into my hands. I calmly stood up and addressed the whole class, saying: "Teacher, I was playing with the phone; please smash it!"

31. 这里是厕所，环境靠大伙。左右两边站，对准再开火(男生厕所)。

31. This is the toilet, the environment depends on everyone. Stand to the left and right, aim and then shoot (male toilet).

32. 男男女女都喜欢在周末一起逛公园。一天，和朋友们一起瞎转呼，累了坐在一个长板凳上闲聊。突然，朋友指着一个方向说：看，那边在干什么？众人皆往那个方向看去，原来是一对情侣在拥抱着接吻。于是，有一个朋友不爽了，光天化日，大众场合竟然这么亲热，太不象话！我要过去说他两句。于是，大家突然开始讨论过去说什么能很优雅的把他们分开。#$^#%#@（一阵口舌！）这时，我冒出一句：你过去跟他们说：加张嘴，好吗？顿时，一片狂笑。

32. Men and women alike enjoy strolling in the park together on weekends. One day, after wandering aimlessly with friends, they got tired and sat on a long bench to chat. Suddenly, a friend pointed in a direction and said: Look, what are they doing over there? Everyone turned to look in that direction and saw a couple embracing and kissing. Then, one friend was upset, feeling that in broad daylight and a public place, they were being too intimate, which was unbecoming! I want to go over there and scold them. So, everyone suddenly started discussing what they could say to elegantly part them. #$%^#@ (A burst of chatter!) At this moment, I blurted out: "Why don't you go over there and tell them: Add a mouth, would you?" Instantly, there was a burst of laughter.

33. 交通：163路、315路、318路、320路、323路、338路、375路、376路、607路、816路。

33. Transportation: Bus routes 163, 315, 318, 320, 323, 338, 375, 376, 607, 816.